Dreams Incarnate
by JaydeeGrey
Summary: Cloud begins life as a new cadet at the Shinra SOLDIER Academy. Prequel to 'Reduced to Specimens.' More info inside.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys! Here it is, the long-awaited prequel to 'Reduced to Specimens,' well not so much long-awaited for y'all as it has been for me. I've been planning to write this probably since I began RtS. I have a few things to talk about that I hope you take the time to look over before you move onto the chapter. _

_First, this story begins with Cloud's enrollment in the Shinra SOLDIER program and will end where 'Reduced to Specimens' begins just after what happened in Nibelheim before Cloud and Zack are taken by Hojo for experiementation. While I intend to keep details of the story somewhat accurate, it is going to deviate from the the original storyline. Mainly, I am changing when it is that Cloud and Zack actually meet one another, which I'm sure will end up changing a lot lol. Zack will be a huge part of this story but we won't see him around much for the first few chapters._

_Second, I may include some subplots as well but I haven't made up my mind completely yet. We'll see if the major plot can hold it's own first. I must say i'm a little nervous about this story because I'm more used to writing heavy action or the more fast-paced types of stories so I think this will be a test for me to see if I can write out of my element without boring the readers lol. The story will start a little slower and lighter but I am issuing a warning now that it WILL get darker, though I don't know all the themes I'll be exploring so I'm keeping this story rated M to be safe. _

_For my faithful 'Reduced to Specimens' readers. Worry not that I will begin slacking on updates for RtS because I now how two stories on the go. I assure you that RtS is my first priority on this site and I will make sure I continue to update regularly. As I've mentioned before, this story is a bit out of my element so of course I would appreciate any imput you guys have. Don't be afraid to offer constructive criticism. I am a critical writer so I appreciate critical readers :)_

_I think that's about all I have to say for now. Any questions or comments are greatly welcomed. Read on and enjoy! _

_Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII_

Chapter I

_19…21…23…_

Cloud counted the bunks in his head as he passed them slowly, the info sheet regarding his living arrangements grasped tightly in his hand, the sweat from his fingers moistening it and forming ripples in its taut white surface. To say he was nervous would be one hell of an understatement. He was all but shaking, though he was determined to not let that show. He was as excited as he was nervous. Being here meant a new start, no the _real _start to the beginning of his life. No one knew him. He wasn't going to be judged by the same things that had weighed him down the first 14 years of his life. He felt a sudden twinge of guilt then as his mother's words echoed in his mind. _Just don't forget where you came from and who you really are_. Fat chance at that. It would take one hell of a blow to the head to forget where he came from. Who he really was, however, was a different story. He didn't know who he was. Frankly, he didn't care. He was interested in one thing, and that's who he would become.

"27," he spoke aloud as his eyes fell on the etched numbers in the frame of the wooden set of bunks to his left. This was to be his bed for the next five months, hopefully longer. Standing to the left of it, he looked up to see his bunkmate hadn't checked in yet. His sheets and blankets were all folded tight and neat on the mattress just as his were. There was a small envelope resting on top of the stack with the number 27 on it. It was the key to his locked set of drawers at the head of the bunk. His bunkmate's were at the foot of the bunks.

_This is it_, he thought. _I'm a number now. B27. _B was the dorm letter. There were four dorms, A, B, C, and D, and each housed up to 40 recruits. Looking around at the busy dorm, it appeared that most of the recruits had arrived.

Holding the smooth key to his dresser in his hand he put down his duffle he'd brought with him and moved to the head of the bunks. He slid the key into the lock and opened the first drawer. Right away he felt his stomach flutter as he stared down at the contents. There were three sets of the regulation initiate uniform and Velcroed to the first of the three was a nametag with his last name and first initial on it. Seeing it there made it seem unreal. He brushed his fingers against the uniform, smiling a little as he let himself believe it was really happening. He was really on his way to becoming a SOLDIER.

A few moments later, he was putting his own belongings into the other two drawers. He was crouched down when someone walked into him, nearly pushing him over.

"Whoa!" the person above him exclaimed as he stumbled and grabbed for the set of bunks next to Cloud's. "Geeze, sorry man! I wasn't watching where I was going." He glanced at the number on the bunk he was holding onto. "Found my bunk though!" he laughed. The guy had dark brown hair and bright green eyes and to Cloud's surprise looked about his height. He always considered himself a short kid. Most of the other boys his age in his hometown were taller than him. It was good to know he wasn't the only guy on the face of the planet who was vertically challenged.

"No problem," Cloud replied and returned a polite smile.

"I'm Paul Tousa," the guy introduced himself and held out his hand.

"Cloud Strife," Cloud said as he accepted his hand.

"Cloud?" Paul questioned. He smiled. "Well, that's different."

"Yeah," Cloud agreed. "I guess."

"Can't believe we're actually here," he said happily. "Was it a long trip for you?"

"Yeah. About 5 hours," Cloud said with a nod as he pushed his drawers closed and stood up.

"5 hours?!" Paul looked at him in astonishment. "Geeze, where you from?"

Cloud cracked a half-smile. "Just some small town," he replied as he sat down on his bunk.

"Shit," a muffled voice said from nearby. Both Cloud and Paul turned to see a guy standing at the head of the bunks. He had a half-eaten sandwich in his mouth, a garbage bag in his one hand and his orientation materials in his other one. Some of the materials were slipping from his hand, the information book already lying on the floor at his feet. Taking a glance at the bunk numbers, he kicked the book towards Cloud and Paul before dumping his stuff on Paul's bunk.

"Hey," Paul greeted.

"'Sup?" his new bunkmate replied as he removed the sandwich from his mouth. "Sorry, man, I was gonna lose it if I didn't set down my crap," he added as he gestured to his stuff.

"No worries," Paul assured him before introducing himself and Cloud. The guy raised an eyebrow at Cloud's name but said nothing. His hair was the colour of deep navy blue, obviously dyed. It went along well with his dark eyes that seemed almost black. He was tall and looked to be in pretty good shape compared to most of the other boys in the dorm.

"Johnny Six," he greeted them.

"Six? Like the number?" Paul inquired.

"Like the number," Johnny confirmed with a nod.

"Don't think I've ever heard that one before. Guess it's the day for unusual names," he joked as he glanced at Cloud.

"I made it up," Johnny said then as he was unlocking his drawers.

"Made what up?"

"My name. I changed it when I left home."

"What? When did you leave home?" Paul questioned in astonishment.

"When I was 12," he replied casually as he dumped the contents of his garbage bag into the drawers.

"That's…ambitious," Paul suggested uneasily.

"Not really," Johnny said with a shrug. "My dad was an asshole." Cloud and Paul looked at each other uncomfortably. "Do either of you know where we can smoke around here?" he inquired. Cloud shook his head along with Paul. "Well. See you guys at orientation," he said as he shut his drawers and headed off.

"Orientation, right. What time is it?" Paul questioned then. Cloud glanced at his watch.

"4:10. Orientation in 20 minutes," Cloud replied.

Paul sighed. "Do you know where we're supposed to go?"

"Definitely not," Cloud laughed lightly.

"Guess we better go wander then," Paul suggested and Cloud agreed, pulling himself off his bunk to accompany him in scoping out the place.

000

It wasn't as difficult to find the orientation room as Cloud had thought it would be. There seemed to be a general flow of people headed toward the assembly room. He and Paul grabbed a couple seats for themselves and Johnny if he happened to show up, which he did nearly late. He took a seat next to Paul about 30 seconds before a first class officer stepped forward to begin the orientation talk.

"How'd you spot us?" Paul whispered, wondering how he'd managed to find them in the hoard of new cadets.

"Strife's hair isn't hard to see," he explained as he slid down in his chair a little, making himself comfortable. Paul held back the urge to laugh. Cloud frowned a little, not knowing if he was being made fun of or not. It wouldn't be the first time he'd been made fun of for his hair. It was a mess of blond spikes that rarely did what it was told. When he was 9 he took a pair of scissors to his hair in attempt to 'normalize' himself and fit in with everyone else. It didn't work out so well. He ended up looking like he'd gotten into a fight with a weed whacker and lost.

"Welcome to the SOLDIER Initiate Program," the officer at the front of the room spoke loudly, silencing the few boys that were still talking amongst themselves. "As initiates you will have twice the work as any normal boys your age would. In addition to the education you would be receiving at any regular school, you'll be expected to learn the history, fundamentals, and techniques of various aspects of a SOLDIER's training."

Cloud listened intently, trying to ignore the sound of his own excited heartbeats.

"Each of you has been assigned a letter and number corresponding to your dorm bunk," the officer went on. "This is also your identification letter and number. Each dorm has been assigned an officer to act as a leader, a guide, advisor, and councilor. Dorm A is assigned Officer Bryant; Dorm B, Officer Tanner; Dorm C, Officer Zertis, and Dorm D, Officer Fair." The officers were pointed out as their names were said. Cloud stared at his dorm's assigned officer. Officer Tanner. He was a well-built man, fairly intimidating-looking. He didn't seem very friendly. "It is suggested that you get to know your assigned officer as well as the other initiates in your dorm. They are going to be the closest thing to family you will get around here."

There was the sound of snickering around the room that was silenced again when the officer continued.

"Now. A few of the rules. First, no alcohol, _at all_. If you are caught with alcohol in your possession on Academy grounds, your enrollment will be _terminated_. We can't stop you from consuming it off-grounds but if you are inebriated on-grounds, you could find yourself in front of the disciplinary board. So the advice would be _don't do it_. Second, no narcotics. _Period_. If you are taking drugs you better have a goddamn prescription for it. There _will _be drug tests administered several times during the semester and they will be administered without prior notice. If you are caught in possession of narcotics or found to have consumed narcotics your enrollment will be _terminated_. The use of tobacco products on-grounds is also strictly prohibited for all those under the age of 19, which most, if not all, of you are. So, if one of you jerks is caught smoking on-grounds you _will _find yourself in front of the disciplinary board."

"Guess that answers your question about where you can smoke," Paul whispered to Johnny with a wide smirk on his face.

"Man…this blows," Johnny mumbled dejectedly.

"Third," the officer continued "no female visitors in the dorms, _ever_. Failure to adhere to any of these rules or those outlined in your information book will subsequently lead to either the disciplinary board, or enrollment termination. Trust me, gentlemen, when I say you do not want to find yourselves in either of those positions. All rules are strictly enforced and done so for a reason. As potential SOLDIERs, you are expected to be in the best condition mentally and physically as you possibly can be."

Cloud found himself nodding slightly in response to the officer's words. He knew it was going to take a lot of work to transform himself into the perfect specimen for the SOLDIER program but he was determined to do it. He had never wanted anything more in his life and he'd do whatever he had to, to reach his goal.

000

The orientation went longer than Cloud had expected, ending at around 6:30. He and the others were dismissed for dinner and free time. Training would begin at 7 am. All the recruits were to be out on the field behind the facility ready to begin. Lights went out in the dorms at 10 pm.

When Cloud returned to the dorm that night, he found his bunkmate had finally arrived. His name was Lou Gallent. He was built like a linebacker and had sandy-coloured hair and light brown eyes. As he was lying in his bunk, Cloud couldn't help himself from imagining what a guy that much bigger than him could do to him if the top bunk suddenly came crashing down on top of him in the night. It was a less than comforting thought.

For the first hour after lights out that night, the dorm was still alive with laughing and conversation but as the minutes in the darkness dragged on, the noises grew quieter and less frequent until there were only the sounds of slumber filling the room. Cloud was surprised so many of the boys were even able to sleep. For one, he had never slept with that many people in the same room before. And two, he was too damn anxious to sleep. Training began tomorrow. _Goodbye pathetic weakling_, Cloud thought to himself as he stared at the bottom of Lou's bunk. Tomorrow, everything would change.

At 6 am alarms were going off. Cloud was sure he hadn't slept more than an hour the whole night. There was a mass scuffling as guys were getting out of their beds. Cloud was at his locked drawers quickly. He had been dying to put on his uniform.

"Too fuckin' early," a voice drawled. Cloud looked up to see Lou getting down from his bunk. "You seem awfully eager," he added as he rubbed his eyes.

"Aren't you?" Cloud threw back at him with a slight grin.

"Well yeah," Lou agreed. "But you're not supposed to act like it." Cloud shrugged as he began undressing.

"Hey," a voice greeted from nearby. Paul appeared, already dressed though his hair was still dripping from the showers.

"Hey," Cloud greeted. "Did you get up ridiculously early in order to shower?" he questioned.

"Naw. Just two minutes under the cold water. Best wake-up medicine in the world."

"I think you're underestimating the effects of coffee," Lou commented as he was pulling on his uniform shirt.

"Psh. Caffeine. Just another drug," Paul replied as he used a towel to dry his dark brown hair.

"Well, I like my drugs," Lou retorted.

"Where's Johnny?" Cloud questioned Paul.

"Dunno. He was already gone when I woke up," Paul said with a shrug.

"He probably realized how hard the program's gonna be and skipped out like a pussy," Lou suggested.

"Yeah, Lou, cause that seems just like him," Paul said sarcastically.

"Well, whatever. Who's getting breakfast before training starts?"

"Not me," Paul spoke fast. "If I eat anything before doing something hardcore physical I'll probably puke."

"Strife?" Lou questioned.

Cloud shook his head. "Same here," he agreed with Paul.

"Suit yourselves. See ya guys outside," Lou said before taking off.

Johnny showed up not long after Lou disappeared. He hadn't dressed yet and came in barefoot and wearing only a pair of sweatpants.

"Where were you?" Paul questioned him quickly.

"Looking for a place to have a smoke," Johnny responded through a yawn.

Paul shook his head. "You're sad, man," he said with a mild laugh.

"You try goin' from a pack an' a half a day to nothin' overnight," Johnny retorted.

"How in the hell did you ever get up to smoking that much in the first place?"

"Easy. I started early," he responded with a smirk.

"Please tell me you were older than 5," Paul said lightly.

"Of course. I was 9."

Paul shot a glance over to Cloud, giving him a wide-eyed look.

"Well way to seize childhood," Paul threw at Johnny. He scoffed in reply as he was doing up his uniform pants.

000

The three boys headed out to the track behind the facility. Already there looked to be close to a hundred cadets waiting to begin training. It wasn't difficult to find the other boys from their dorm. The cadets seemed to have separated themselves naturally into their dorms out on the field.

It was a chilly morning but no doubt the drill officers were going to have them warmed pretty quickly. They'd been waiting around about 20 minutes when Cloud spotted the dorm-assigned officers coming toward the congregation of boys. With them were the presumable drill-officers. One of them blew a whistle, long and hard, drawing the attention of everyone.

"Gather around, gentlemen!" another yelled and the boys complied slowly, making a semi-circle around the officers. "Welcome to your first day of training. Make no mistake. We are not going to go easy on you because it's your first day. We want excellence and if you don't give us excellence you will get a boot up your ass, is that understood?!"

Several of the boys nodded awkwardly. "I SAID, IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!" the officer shouted so loud Cloud was tempted to cover his ears.

There were a hundred mumbled yeses that only prompted more yelling. "Yes? YES WHAT?!"

"Yes, sir!" the collective responded loudly.

"That's better. From now on, when you are in the presence of an officer, you _will_ stand at attention and salute or you will have your ass kicked, is that understood?!"

"Yes, sir!"

"Good. It's time to get to business. Let's get something straight. You _will _get hurt in training. You _will _bleed and your mommies aren't here to baby you so you better get used to it fast! I don't wanna see any of you boys bawling like a bunch of little girls, you got it?!"

"Yes, sir!" the hoard shouted.

"Good! Now get your asses onto the track and gimme a good run, 12 minutes, GO!" the officer instructed and another blew a whistle. Without a second's thought, the boys headed for the track. The thought of a 12-minute run didn't seem that bad, but that's because none of the cadets imagined the officers meant an actual 'run.' As soon as you slowed into a jog you got yelled at. It was brutal, but the fact that the officers seemed to be running along just fine, and were still able to yell at all the recruits was somewhat encouraging, to Cloud anyway. If they could do it, he could too. Eventually.

After the run, the boys were split up into their dorm groups and led off to different areas with a driller and their dorm officer. That's when the real physical hell began. Bent-knee crunches, reverse crunches, sit-ups, jumping jacks, and of course push-ups. There seemed to be a hundred different versions of the push-up and every single one sucked worse than the one before it. There were the regular push-ups, then the diamond push-ups, then the wide-arm push-ups and, if you could manage, the one-handed push-ups. If you couldn't manage then you got yelled at. But then, you got yelled at anyway.

Cloud was happy he'd forgone the option of eating that morning. Several of the boys in his dorm group had already tossed their breakfasts onto the grass at some point. Unfortunately, lunch was not considered an option.

"If you forfeit lunch, I will beat you so hard you'll need a feeding tube to eat!" the driller had shouted at them. "We don't need no little fainting skinny boys, you got it?!"

"Yes sir!" the collective shouted back.

"I want your asses back out here in 45 minutes, gentlemen! You're dismissed!"

"I think I'm dying," Paul panted as he stepped up next to Cloud. Cloud was too out of breath to even respond verbally. He nodded instead. Johnny walked passed them casually. "Hey!" Paul called out to him and he turned back towards them. "How is it a smoke box like you seems barely out of breath?" he questioned.

"'Cause he's a backline slacker," one of the other boys from their dorm commented as he passed by.

"Bite me, Justus," Johnny replied quick, kicking some dirt at the guy as he was headed away.

"Let me guess, you started training for SOLDIER when you were 4?" Paul commented as the three of them began heading back to the facility.

"Don't be jealous," Johnny joked as he grabbed a bottle of water and towel from the large supply sitting on the edge of the field.

Cloud grabbed one of the towels also, using it to wipe off his face and neck. He couldn't remember ever sweating that much in his life. He was looking forward to the shower he'd be having later on.

He had a light lunch, knowing that if he ate too much he was more likely to go to sleep then move his body around on command.

Training continued that afternoon with a game of 'Tactics.' Basically it was a more organized form of 'Capture the Flag.' Cloud hated the game. It brought back memories of his pathetic excuse for a childhood. Though it seemed to be a general consensus that the game sucked. Not too many of the boys were into it. The dorm group was split in half for it. Cloud's side lost. That was no surprise to him. He grew up being on the losing teams. That's usually how it went in school. The class would divide itself into the 'normal' kids and the rest left over, the 'rejects' made up the other team. That wasn't exactly how teams were made in this case but close enough. Cloud had a feeling the driller put a lot of the more 'athletic' looking boys on the one side. Cloud was the furthest thing from at that point. He had good endurance but his strength wasn't the best. There was very little muscle mass to him. He was hoping that would change soon.

The game took a long 3 hours to finish. And then, there were more drill exercises and running. Cloud had always been a pretty good runner but even he was ready to collapse after an hour of circling the track. As much as he would have loved to do just that at the end of the run, he and the others were granted push-ups instead. His body was so weak at that point, his arms shook as he tried to hold himself up over the grass. The drill-officer continued to shout. He wondered how it was after a whole day he was still able to scream into the ears of the boys.

Just when he thought his arms were about to break off, the driller blew his whistle and ended the torture. "Not bad for a first day, gentlemen! But you got a damn long way to go if you think you're gonna be in SOLDIER! You're done for the night but your butts better be back on this field at 5:30 am and not one minute after!"

Cloud collapsed on his bunk, thankful to have the bottom one because he didn't think he could climb to the top one if he tried. He let out a low groan as his muscles relaxed and the pain became less evident. He didn't want to think about what he would feel like tomorrow. He didn't bother to drag himself to the cafeteria for dinner. Food was the furthest thing from his mind. All he wanted was to sleep. His wish was granted quickly enough and he was sinking into the pillow at his head, his thoughts falling away to let peaceful darkness in.

Several hours later, Cloud was pulled from his heavy sleep suddenly by the ear-shattering sound of alarms going off. He sat up, ignoring the painful protest in his body for him to stay still. He looked around the dark room, seeing the others rise and seem as confused as he was.

"What the fuck is that?!" Lou shouted down to him.

"It's a goddamn fire drill!" Paul said from his own bunk. "We're gonna get our asses kicked if we don't get outside like now!" he added as he threw the covers off himself and grabbed his bunkmate's arm. Johnny had his pillow over his head, trying to drown out the sound of the alarms.

There was a mad rush in the dorm. An outbreak of disorganization that Cloud could tell, without even thinking about it, wasn't going to be looked upon happily by their dorm officer. He could feel the phantom pain in his arms from the imminent push-ups he suspected were going to be forced upon them outside…


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey guys! Here's the second chapter, and it's out after a reasonable amount of time! :D_

_First, thank you for all your reviews! I'm so happy to have you guys reading along! Second, before you have a chance to wonder about it, I just want to let you know this chapter has a lot to do with Johnny, one of the boys introduced in the first chapter. This is because he will become a crucial character in later chapters so I want you guys to become familiar with him. But don't worry, there will be many many Cloud chapters to come as well as Zack chapters. Zack shall be making his entrance in Chapter III. :)_

_That's all from me! Read on and enjoy! _

_Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII_

Chapter II

"WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR CADETS CALL THIS RIDICULOUS DANCE THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A FIRE DRILL LINE UP?!" Dorm B's assigned officer, Tanner, screamed at the boys in the dorm, straining his voice to be heard over the heavy rain coming down outside.

The boys were standing at attention, eyes ahead, though they all wanted desperately to be looking in any direction but that of the one that led to their furious officer. Cloud was among them. He was grateful to be standing near the back of the group so at least his ears were spared the abuse the front line boys were getting. Their dorm hadn't been the only one to put on a poor performance of what was expected of them during a fire drill but apparently they were the only dorm with an easily-annoyed jerk for an assigned officer.

Only one of the dorms had performed in the way they were supposed to. Dorm D. Lou had whispered to him that their officer must have had them ready for the drill ahead of time. It wasn't technically allowed but Cloud couldn't help envying Dorm D for having an officer that wanted to make things a bit easier on them. Of course, there was no doubt their officer had his own interests in mind. It wasn't hard to figure out that how the cadets performed during their training was seen as a reflection of their officer who would be under the watchful eyes of the Board of Directors. In that case, it was understandable why Tanner was so pissed, the veins in his neck bulging as he shouted. This man was supposed to be the person they went to if they had any concerns about anything. Cloud couldn't imagine himself ever approaching him on his own accord.

He winced in pain as he lowered himself to the muddy ground for the imminent push-ups he'd predicted. His body protested the movement promptly. It became a fight between him and his muscles to complete the task. Groans echoed throughout the area as the boys pushed themselves to comply with their officer's commands. Everyone was hurting. Even those like Johnny who were in better shape than the others. The rain made the task that much more miserable.

Cloud's hair was soaked and sticking to his forehead and around his eyes. His feet kept slipping in the wet grass and mud so he was constantly readjusting himself. Tanner kept them labouring until the other dorms had retreated inside. Only then did he end their agony and allow them to head back to the dorm. It was nearly 4 am by the time they returned to their room. They were all dirty and dripping wet. Some chose to shower before going back to bed. Others collapsed in their bunks as they were, desperate to take advantage of the time they had left for sleep before training began again. Cloud made the effort to wash the dirt from his hands and arms and got into some dry clothes before getting back into bed.

"Figures we'd get an asshole for our dorm officer," Lou commented as he was climbing back onto his bunk.

"What were you expecting?" Paul questioned as he fixed the mangled sheets on his bunk before lying down. Lou didn't respond. Cloud glanced up at Johnny who appeared to be already asleep. He'd been one of the ones to head straight to bed with no attempt at clean-up. He suspected Johnny had slept under much worse conditions in the past. He was someone that definitely sparked some curiosity.

It barely seemed like 10 minutes had passed when Cloud was dragged from his sleep by the sounds of alarm clocks going off. He jolted awake with fresh memories of the fire drill but he relaxed a little when he realized the alarms were only telling him to move his ass for training. There was much less excitement than there had been the morning before. And much less chatter. Everyone looked drained and stiff. There was a great lack of enthusiasm as they readied themselves for more physical hell. It was incredible to see the morale change so quickly. All it took was a little pain and loss of sleep. Well. A lot of pain and loss of sleep.

At the end of their drills that morning, as they stood in lines of ten, Drill Officer Sigg pacing up and down the lines and going over his thoughts of the day's exercises and the cadets' performances, Sigg paused in front of Johnny, turning to face him directly and glaring at him.

"What is that in your ear, Cadet Six?!" he questioned fiercely.

"An earring, sir," Johnny responded after a moment.

"Have you not read your information book, Six?!" Sigg shouted.

"No, sir, I have not."

"Are you aware that you are required to read your information book, Six?!"

"Yes, sir, I am aware," Johnny replied levelly. A few of the boys snickered. It didn't impress the driller.

"You like to be a smartass, don't you, Six?!" he questioned angrily.

"It comes naturally, sir," Johnny agreed, straight-faced. Several of the boys laughed.

"SHUT UP!" Sigg commanded and silence was restored instantly. "When I see you tomorrow morning, Six, I want that earring gone or else I'll remove it myself, is that understood, cadet?!"

"Yes, sir!" Johnny replied firmly.

"You're dismissed!" Sigg shouted out to all. "Enjoy your classes!" he added before heading away from the group.

"That guy's such a jerk," Paul commented as he walked next to Cloud toward the building. Johnny was ahead of them a few yards.

"I don't remember reading that part in the information book," Cloud replied as he thought back on all he'd read. There was a lot to know in the book though. He could have easily missed it.

The dorms were not segregated for classes the same way they were for morning exercises and drills. Rather, all the boys from every dorm were combined and then split into four groups randomly. Cloud found himself attending classes with a group of boys he didn't recognize. There were only a few from his dorm and he hadn't even spoken to them before.

He ran into Paul and Johnny at lunch in the cafeteria. They'd had the luck of being in the same group for classes. Paul greeted Cloud as he sat down. Johnny didn't seem to notice him. He was reading Huxley's _Brave New World_, his chair tipped back on two legs as he pressed the heel of one of his boots against the edge of the table.

"You guys have a book assignment already?" Cloud questioned and Paul shook his head.

"No, he just chooses to read things he doesn't have to," he said with a smirk before taking another bite of the sandwich in front of him. "Whatda ya think of the classes?" Paul questioned him as he was chewing.

"Eh, I dunno," Cloud responded a little sullenly. "I'm not so great with academic stuff," he confessed. "I wish the combat classes were starting this week and not next," he added.

"You'll be fine. I mean, how academic can they expect us to be? We're being trained to be SOLDIERS. It's not like they need to know how to interpret a poem or anything," Paul said with a laugh.

"I suppose not," Cloud agreed reluctantly.

As they were headed to their afternoon classes, Cloud paused in the one hall when his eyes caught those of the man in a picture that he recognized well. Standing in mild awe, Paul and Johnny stepped up next to him.

"General Sephiroth," Paul spoke, identifying aloud the man in the picture hung on the wall.

"That's him?" Johnny questioned with a hint of skepticism in his tone.

"Have you been living under a rock?" Paul asked him in shock.

"Hmph. I was expecting someone more impressive," Johnny responded.

"Better not let _him_ hear you say that," Paul warned. "He'll slice you in two with that long-ass sword of his."

"Bit dramatic don't you think?"

Paul looked at him critically. "You really _have_ been living under a rock," he concluded before moving away from the wall and heading toward class. Johnny followed. "Cloud, come on!" Paul called to Cloud after a moment, breaking his trance and drawing him back to reality. It was hard for him to tear his eyes away from the general's hard gaze, his ice-like greenish eyes. He didn't care what anyone else thought. General Sephiroth was incredible. He'd known it since the first time he'd ever heard of him. He was a real hero and everything Cloud wished he could be himself.

Back in the dorm that night after dinner, he, Paul, and Lou were all going over their information books in the little time they had left before the lights would be going out. Many of the other boys in the dorm had been mulling over the book of rules and regulations as well, anxious because they'd come to learn they were expected to know every bit of information laid out for them. If they didn't, there were consequences to be anticipated.

Cloud glanced up at the book in Johnny's hands. It was different from the book he'd been reading earlier in the cafeteria and it certainly wasn't the information book. "What's he reading now?" he questioned Paul, glancing upward to indicate he was asking about Johnny.

"Oh. Some old book. I don't even remember. I think I'd blow up if I read as much as he seems to," Paul responded with a sigh.

"Ya know, for all the goddamn time he's got his face in front of a book, you'd think he'd just read the fucking information book," Lou commented from his bunk. Johnny flashed his middle finger at Lou without looking away from the page he was reading in his novel.

"He does sorta have a point, man," Paul called up to his bunkmate. Johnny didn't respond.

"You are going to have to read some assigned material at some point, you know that right?" Lou asked then.

"What the fuck do you care what I read?" Johnny replied at last.

"Maybe he's just looking out for your interests," Paul suggested.

"Fuck no!" Lou protested. "I just don't want to be punished one day because Mr. Badass can't answer a question regarding the rules and regulations from one of the drillers on the field."

"Like what?" Johnny asked.

"What?" Lou said in confusion. Johnny sighed in frustration.

"Like what kind of question?" he clarified.

Lou thought for a moment. "Okay. Like 'What is number 38 of the uniform regulations?'"

"Boot laces must be displayed left over right," Johnny responded with next to no moment's thought. "It's a fucking stupid regulation," he added. Lou looked down at Cloud and Paul, a unanimous look of shock between them.

"You said you didn't read the book!" Paul spoke up.

"I glanced over it," Johnny responded with a shrug.

"And yet you managed to memorize it?! God! I hate you!" he said lightly as he threw his information book down in frustration.

"Psh, this is probably his second year as a cadet. He probably failed his last attempt," Lou suggested as he lay back on his bunk, turning back to his book.

"Yeah. You're right, Lou," Johnny agreed casually.

"Really?" Paul questioned.

Johnny scoffed. "No," he said as he closed the novel he was reading and jumped down from his bunk. He reached under the mattress for a crumpled pack of cigarettes.

"So you're just a genius or something then?"

"Or something," Johnny mumbled before walking away.

000

The next morning, after drills, Sigg was on Johnny's case again. Cloud had completely forgotten about the whole earring thing. He took it for granted that Johnny would just do as he was told and be done with it. He should have known better.

"What is that in your goddamn ear, Cadet Six?!" Sigg shouted suddenly, breaking off in mid-sentence as he was ranting about the importance of hydration.

"An earring, sir," Johnny responded fast. The driller looked at him incredulously.

"Did I not tell you if I saw an earring in your ear this morning I would remove it myself?!" he screamed in Johnny's face. Cloud had to hand it to him. He was keeping remarkably still considering he was getting spit on quite literally.

"No, sir! You said if you saw that particular earring you would remove it yourself. This is a different one, sir!" Johnny replied and many of the boys had to hold back the urge to laugh. Cloud thought Sigg was going to have a heart attack, his face went so red. As much as he obviously wanted to beat Johnny into the ground, he restrained himself.

"Next time I see you, Six, I don't want to see _any_ earring in your goddamn ear! Either of them!"

Sigg dismissed the group then. Some of the boys had encouraging words to throw Johnny's way as they were headed back to the building to shower before classes but Cloud knew better. Sigg was in no way bluffing about what he would do if Johnny disobeyed. He put off thinking about it as he worked on getting ready to sit through lessons in a wide variety of subjects that were never his best.

He hated being called on in class to answer questions and somehow the officers leading the lessons knew that. Teachers were always able to pick out the kids they knew dreaded being called on and yet they called on them for just that reason. It was maddening. And just as in the years before at his small school in Nibelheim, the officers called on him again and again. If he knew the answer, the pride of knowing something was overshadowed by the officer berating him for speaking too quietly. If he didn't know the answer he got berated for not knowing the answer. It was pretty much a no-win situation. And there was no strategic place to sit in the class to avoid being picked on. If you were in the front you were too eager to learn. If you sat in the back you were a slacker, if you sat in the middle you were a follower, incapable of your own thoughts.

There was no shortage of assignments given immediately and cadets were urged not to procrastinate for the simple fact that they had no control over whether things would come up or not that would limit their time to work on them. Drills or special spontaneous assignments could be given at any moment that took precedence but there was no clemency granted for unfinished assignments. Whining did nothing to change the way things were but it didn't stop most of the cadets from doing it.

Like it or not, it was just as they'd been told during orientation. They were expected to work harder than any regular boy their age.

000

The next day's morning came all too soon once again. The fatigue was starting to do a number on many of the cadets, making them more irritable, especially since they had more to worry about now than just training. Now they had classes and homework that kept them up when they could have been sleeping. But of course there was always one more thing to worry about. Like their driller, Sigg.

"Sigg's gonna flip if he sees that earring still in," Paul commented as he was doing up his boots.

"Probably," Johnny responded with a shrug before pulling his clothes from one of his drawers.

"Aren't you worried about what he'll do?" Paul asked then. "He did say he would remove it if you didn't. I doubt that's going to be a pleasant experience, if you know what I mean. You'll be missing half your ear when he's done with you."

"No officer would really do anything to cause that much damage would he?" Cloud questioned skeptically.

"Course they would," Lou answered him before anyone else could. "I heard that last year one of the drillers nearly choked a kid to death with a necklace he refused to stop wearing," he added seriously.

"Oh, shut the hell up, Lou!" Paul fired at him. "That never happened!"

"It did so!" Lou insisted.

"No officer is going to nearly _kill_ a cadet."

"Well do you really wanna find out?" Lou retorted. "Just give up the earring, man," he said as he looked towards Johnny who ignored him as he was dressing himself.

Johnny headed outside with the others still wearing the earring. Cloud didn't really understand why it was so important for him to refuse to follow a simple order. He assumed Johnny did join the Academy knowing he was expected to follow orders and adhere to rules given to him. So why the defiance? There was nothing about Johnny that suggested he cared what others thought of him or that he was out to gain attention or make an image for himself. His reasons were obviously deeper.

Cloud, and no doubt many of the other boys, had been waiting anxiously through their exercises to see if Sigg was going to confront Johnny about his small act of deviance in refusing to remove his earring. Following their drills, Cloud had found himself standing next to Johnny in line. Cloud thought about it later that night. Had they not been in the front line, perhaps Sigg wouldn't have noticed Johnny's earring that day, but then, the driller didn't seem the type to forget about indiscretions, no matter how insignificant.

Sigg grabbed onto the small loop in Johnny's left ear before saying a word. Johnny seemed a little surprised but he stayed at attention without moving a muscle.

"Are you trying to prove something here, Cadet Six, or are you just stupid?!" Sigg bellowed at him.

"Perhaps I'm both, sir!" Johnny responded quickly. The fury in Sigg's eyes only grew.

"Perhaps you think I make idle threats, Six, is that it?!" the angry driller inquired as he began pulling on the earring between his fingers. Johnny resisted the pull, holding his head straight and not allowing it to tilt with the pressure.

"No, sir!" he responded firmly. Sigg tugged on the earring fast, hard enough to begin tearing through the skin of Johnny's earlobe. Besides the subtle sound of his breath hitching in his chest, Johnny made no indication he'd even felt it.

"You have one last chance to remove it yourself, cadet!" Sigg shouted as he maintained a steady pull on the earring. Out of the corners of his eyes, Cloud could see Johnny's jaw pulsing as he clenched his teeth. "Well, cadet?!" Sigg urged him to respond.

"No, sir," Johnny said lowly, though his voice was firm.

"NO WHAT?!" Sigg questioned angrily. "No, you will not remove it yourself?!"

"No, sir, I will not!" Johnny clarified loudly. The driller gave another firm tug on the earring, tearing Johnny's earlobe further. Cloud turned his head slightly and from that angle it was easier to see the blood running over the tips of Sigg's fingers. He tried to imagine what it felt like to Johnny. It must have been agonizing. The indications of his pain were so small. His hands clenching in tight fists, his body trembling ever so slightly. He was stubborn as all hell. Cloud could see there was going to be no winners or losers in this fight. Neither Johnny or Sigg were going to give in.

"Eyes forward, Strife!" Sigg shouted then, startling Cloud into facing forward once again. He searched out Tanner with his eyes. There was nothing about the officer that suggested he was bothered by Sigg's demonstration of authority. Cloud understood the necessity of the display, but it still didn't seem right. "You asked for this, Six!" Sigg shouted.

"Yes, sir," Johnny replied sharply. In a sudden, swift movement, Sigg tore the earring the rest of the way through Johnny's ear, drawing from him a strange sound that was not quite a cry. It was something closer to a gasp. He lifted a hand reflexively to clutch his injury but Sigg stopped him.

"You will stay in formation, Cadet!" he ordered harshly. Cloud turned his head despite the command he'd been given to keep facing forward. Some of the other boys looked toward Johnny as well or looked at one another. Johnny was trembling though Cloud suspected it was more due to anger than pain. Blood was running down the side of his neck and dripping from his torn earlobe. His eyes glistened with tears that he wasn't going to grant release.

Sigg held up the bloodied hoop of metal in his fingers, level with Johnny's eyes. "I recommend you change your attitude, Cadet Six," Sigg spoke to Johnny in a tone that was surprisingly below that of a shout. "You will go to the infirmary and have your injury seen to and you will be back on this field tomorrow morning, is that clear?"

"Yes. Sir," Johnny responded after a moment's hesitation.

"The rest of you are dismissed!" Sigg went back to shouting. He dropped the earring in his grasp at Johnny's feet before turning his back and heading toward Tanner. Johnny crouched promptly, sifting through the grass, looking for his earring.

"Johnny…" Cloud began uneasily, not sure of what to say. "Are you—"

"I'm fine!" Johnny snapped fast, never pausing his search for his earring. He found it after a few more moments, using his shirt to wipe the blood from it. Cloud found it strange he seemed more concerned with it than himself. Paul stepped up next to Cloud, giving him a look that said 'I can't believe that just happened.' It was easy to decipher. Most of the cadets were wearing that expression as they headed away from the field, glancing back at Johnny as they did so.

"Let's go, Six!" Tanner called to Johnny as he approached him. Johnny pocketed his earring before heading toward the infirmary with the dorm officer. Cloud and Paul watched after him for a few moments before making their way back inside to get ready for the rest of their day. Cloud had the feeling that the scene played out on the field between Johnny and the driller was going to be a hot topic for the day and a story that would no doubt be told to new cadets for years to come. Just another Academy horror story.


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey guys! I gots not much to say except thanks for all the reviews and I hope you're all enjoying this story so far! Cheers!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII_

Chapter III

Rumours were buzzing in class that morning over what had happened on the field between Johnny and Officer Sigg. A few of the boys from the other dorms had confronted Cloud with questions about what had happened but there was little to tell in his opinion. He wasn't even sure he should talk about it. He assumed the Academy wasn't a big fan of sensationalism. He'd never been happier to be dismissed for lunch.

He spotted Paul across the cafeteria in the one corner where most of the new cadets sat. He was looking over an assignment sheet while taking in mouthfuls of macaroni.

"Hey," Cloud greeted as sat down across from him. Paul gave him a muffled reply and moved some of his textbooks that were spread out on the table to make room for him. "Did Johnny show up in class?" he questioned after he'd settled himself at the table. Paul's expression fell a little as he nodded.

"Yeah, about 15 minutes into second class," he explained.

"How is he?" Cloud questioned uneasily.

Paul shrugged a little. "He got some stitches in his ear. Didn't really say too much about it."

Cloud thought back on the events of the morning. It had made him seriously re-evaluate everything about himself. So far he hadn't been singled out but he wasn't comforted by that thought. It was only the first week and he had plenty of attributes to pick on. He'd heard it all before. Too short, too skinny, too weak, too stupid, too quiet. It was a world of _too's _and _not enoughs_. Not enough ambition, not enough stamina, and his favourite, not enough grit. Whatever that was supposed to mean. He liked to imagine hearing such things before would make it easy to hear them again. But in his heart he doubted that to be the truth. Time would tell.

"I can't believe Sigg actually went that far. I thought maybe he'd just send Johnny to the Disciplinary Board," Paul spoke then, drawing Cloud's attention from his thoughts. "I think a lot of the cadets are going to be taking the officers more seriously now, which is what Sigg was aiming for I guess," he added.

"Yeah, I suppose," Cloud agreed before shaking his head lightly. "Just didn't seem right," he said softly. Paul scoffed.

"This is SOLDIER," he stated. "The officers decide what's right."

Later that evening as many of the cadets, including Cloud and Paul, were sprawled out on either their bunks or the floor or sitting at the few small tables available in the dorms doing homework, Johnny came strolling in with his class texts. He tossed them onto his dresser carelessly.

"Hey, where you been?" Paul questioned.

"Had to go back to the infirmary to fill out some bullshit injury paperwork I didn't do this morning," Johnny responded in a bored tone. "You'd swear you lost an arm the way they go on about protocol and assurances and all that crap."

"Told you, you shoulda just took the earring out," Lou piped up from his bunk. Johnny ignored him. Paul threw him a glare that told him to shut the hell up.

Cloud was finding it hard to not stare at the few blue-coloured stitches Johnny now had in his earlobe. From a distance they almost gave the illusion he still had an earring in. _What's that called again?_ he pondered. _Right. Irony._

000

Routine began to set in for the cadets as they entered their second week of enrollment. There were a few new classes added to their academics. Fitness, Technics, and Combat and Weaponry. The first days of the Technics and CW classes were purely paperwork. Pages and pages of health and safety information. The second day a test was administered to be sure they had adequate knowledge of the information before they could continue in the class. The Fitness class on the other hand seemed to Cloud to be just another way for the Academy to beat the crap out of the cadets. It was all about 'transforming lifestyles' or so they were told. It only took a few days for Cloud to see that the class consisted of health lectures and physical tests. It reminded him of a glorified gym class.

On the third day in Fitness, the cadets were split into groups of four for a climbing exercise. Each boy was expected to climb 30 feet of a rope hanging from the ceiling. There were four ropes; four boys climbing at a time.

Cloud watched nervously as group after group completed the exercise successfully. He had grave doubts about how well he'd be able to perform himself. He'd never had much upper body strength. But then, a lot of the other guys looked lacking in ample muscle, so perhaps it wouldn't be so bad after all. If they could do it, surely he could too…

Once again, his negative thinking seemed to be based on solid grounds. His group was last to take to the ropes and as he struggled painfully to get himself up that rope, he could see out of the corner of his eyes the others in his group surpassing him. The minutes dragged on and still the end seemed an eternity away.

"Let's go, Strife!" Officer Holden, the instructor, shouted up at him. "You're the only pitiful cadet that hasn't completed this task!"

_Thanks for the broadcast_, Cloud thought as he stared at the rope in his shaking hands. He'd only made it halfway to the marker near the top. The three boys that had been climbing to the sides of him on the other ropes had just finished. He seriously hoped that there were cadets in the other class groups that hadn't been able to complete the task. The embarrassment of being the _only _one who couldn't climb a rope was a little more than even he could handle.

"Alright, maybe you need a little motivation," Holden suggested then. "The rest of you, gimme some push-ups! You can stop when Strife gets his skinny ass to the top!" The boys all groaned in protest as they lowered themselves to the floor. "You better get a move on it, Strife, or you're gonna have some pissed off cadets after you!" the instructor called up to him.

"Stupid jerk," Cloud muttered as he reached a sweaty hand up to grip another bit of rope. He had no idea how the others were able to accomplish the feat. And some of them had made it look so easy! Inch by agonizing inch he pulled himself toward the top marker, grinding his teeth together and begging to God his arms wouldn't give out. Of course, it made little difference. Just as he passed the three quarter mark, his pathetic excuses for muscles gave in and the rope slid through his hands. He felt an instant burst of fire in his palms and let go of the rope without any thought besides making the pain stop. He was free falling for about a second before he hit the folding mats below on his back, the force stealing the air from his chest. His senses were knocked out of him temporarily but he forced his eyes open when he heard his name being called.

Leaning over him was the instructor and a few of the cadets. Some of the others out of his view were laughing. "HEY! Do you fools need something to occupy you?" Holden shouted toward them, silencing them. "Then shut your mouths!" he added before turning his attention back to Cloud. "Strife, you with us?" he questioned and Cloud nodded slightly. His head was still spinning. "How many fingers?" the instructor asked as he held up 4 fingers. Cloud hesitated, feeling like he'd lost his voice.

"You sure he can count?" one of the boys remarked and laughed along with several of the others.

"Weeks you can handle towel clean-up this afternoon," Holden replied quickly, shutting them up once again.

"Four," Cloud grumbled as he lifted his head and shoulders off the mat under him, sitting himself up. He proceeded to rub the back of his neck but halted when he felt a brutal sting in the flesh of his hand. He looked down at his hands and was shocked to see the condition of them. Several places on his fingers and palms had been shaved of the first few layers of skin.

"Got yourself a nice rope burn," Holden pointed out the obvious. "Looks like you're takin' a trip to the infirmary."

"Is that necessary, sir?" Cloud questioned, not really wanting to explain the reasons for his injury once he got there and fill all that paperwork out that Johnny had talked about.

"Yup, house rules," Holden replied as he rose to his feet. He took hold of Cloud's upper arm, helping him up. "You're lucky this is your last class for the day. You can relax for the night but you're going to have to start showing some major improvements in your physical fitness very soon if you're gonna make it through the Initiate Program. That means doubling your efforts."

"Yes, sir," Cloud responded, trying not to sound as depressed as he felt. He dragged himself off to the infirmary to get his hands seen to, all the while focusing his thoughts on what he'd need to do if he were going to improve himself enough to meet the standards expected of him. Failing wasn't an option. He'd failed too much in life already, he couldn't let himself fail at this.

Johnny hadn't been kidding about the extensive injury paperwork one was met with at the infirmary. It would have taken hours to read through everything outlined in the documents so he did as those before him had done and filled in his information and signed his name where he was told to sign it without asking questions. Fortunately, he wasn't required to explain the _exact _circumstances surrounding his injury. It was documented that he simply had an accident during an exercise within class hours and that he'd been the only person involved.

With his hands aided and bandaged, he made his way solemnly back to the barracks. He forewent the option of dinner, feeling it was more important to he get to work on his homework assignments than it was for him to force down what was a sad excuse for sustenance. He had made a conscious effort since beginning his enrollment at the Academy to not think about home or the people he'd left behind. But right then he couldn't stop himself from missing many of the nights he'd spent in the comfort of his own house with his mother. He'd expected to be a little homesick, even though the place he came from had been more of a torture to him than anything else, but he never expected his reaction to be a tearful one.

As he lay on his bunk, the tears trailing from the corners of his eyes onto the pillow beneath his head, he was thankful to be alone save for three or four other cadets, too far away to be able to tell he was experiencing any sort of emotions.

An hour and a half later, more of the cadets were coming back to the room. Paul came in whistling, stopping only when he'd reached his bunk and became aware of Cloud's presence.

"Hey man—whoa! What happened to your hands?" he spoke up promptly.

"Oh, it's nothing really," Cloud responded slowly, sitting himself up on the side of his bunk. "The bandaging makes it look way worse than it is."

"Well congrats on becoming another victim of training!" Paul laughed lightly. He went about getting some of his books out to work on an assignment. Cloud shifted his eyes to Johnny's empty bunk.

"Where's Johnny?" he questioned after his curiosity became overbearing. "Haven't seen him around much," he commented.

"Yeah, the guy's a bit of a ghost," Paul agreed. "But actually, he had a meeting with the Disciplinary Board tonight."

"Already?" Cloud blurted in surprise. "It had only been a week and a half."

Paul nodded. "Yep. He got caught smoking. Though he seems to think someone ratted him out."

"Hey, loser! How's the hands?" a voice interrupted them. It was one of the boys on his way to his bunk. Cloud recognized him from his class group. He followed the boy with his gaze as he headed over to a few of the other cadets and clearly proceeded to share with them what had happened to Cloud earlier in class. They were all greatly amused, as to be expected.

Sighing, Cloud rose from his bunk and motioned to leave the area.

"Hey, where you going?" Paul questioned fast.

"I dunno…a walk," Cloud responded without turning back. He left the dorm swiftly, shoving his hands in his pockets, cursing them for being injured; cursing himself for his incompetence. He wandered the halls absent-mindedly though sub-consciously he must have known where he was going. He found himself standing outside one of the doors to the training facility, his eyes seeking out the hours posted nearby. They facility was open to use until 10 pm every night. _That's handy_, he thought to himself. He knew what he was going to have to do to succeed. He needed to take advantage of every possible opportunity he had to better himself. That meant making the training facility his 'home away from home.'

Sadly, things didn't get much better. In fact it was quite the opposite. For the next few days, the injury to his hands had made it difficult for him to perform well on a variety of exercises in his classes as well as during those during morning drills and workouts. His inability to perform as well as those around him singled him out and made him a viable subject for harassment and verbal scorn. But his effort was obvious. To himself and several of the officers anyway. They could tell he was trying but trying meant nothing without results.

In desperation to improve, he committed himself to solitary sessions of physical training, sacrificing recreation time and often dinner in order to make himself stronger, faster, better. The results were slow to come, but they were visible. After two weeks, he had gained 3 pounds of what could only have been muscle and his endurance had been increasing. He only hoped the changes would be evident to the officers as well.

Indeed, the officers noticed. And so did the cadets. What was praiseworthy in the officers' minds was harassment-worthy in the cadets' minds because one cadet showing significant improvement beyond what he was thought capable of meant that the rest of them were seen as lazy or merely 'satisfactory.' Either Cloud was poorly performing and being condemned or he was performing better than expected and he was condemned. Either way, he was miserable.

Miserable, but hopeful. He wasn't there to impress anyone but the officers and those who would decide on his transition from the Initiate Program into the SOLDIER Program. The other cadets were of little importance to him so he gave little thought to their attempts to bring him down. Unfortunately, his position as a subject to torment was gaining in frequent incidence. And he was acutely aware that harassment was headed on a one-way path from verbal to physical. He just didn't know when the leap to the latter would happen.

That night arrived. He was wiping the sweat from his face with a towel to check his watch. It was 9:20, a mere 40 minutes to lights out in the dorms. As much as he wished he could spend all night weight training, he knew his body and the Academy wouldn't allow it.

Standing in the locker room, he was removing his weight-lifting gloves when he swore he heard the sounds of several sets of footsteps headed down the long hall toward the room. He paused and listened but silence seemed to be restored. He shoved his gloves in his locker and slammed the door shut. As he did so, he heard footsteps again. Footsteps and muffled laughter. He stood and waited, knowing in a few seconds he would no longer be alone in the locker room. He was immediately suspicious. He'd been going to the training centre every night for the past few weeks and only twice had he run into one or two people who were set on solo training.

From around the set of lockers where Cloud's was set, three cadets appeared followed by several others.

"What's going on?" Cloud questioned hesitantly.

"You're wanted in the courtyard," a cadet named James spoke. Several of the other cadets smirked and chuckled. Cloud looked over his shoulder to see a few others who had came from around the other end of the locker aisle, boxing him in. Faced with about 10 cadets, Cloud had to make an effort not to let his nervousness show.

"Why?" he inquired suspiciously.

"Oh, you'll see," James assured him. One of the boys behind him nudged him forward.

"No thanks," he said quietly as he motioned to push his way through the boys in front of him to leave.

"Oh, that wasn't a choice," James responded fast before shoving Cloud back. "Let's go guys!" he instructed and the cadets at Cloud's back reached under his arms while a few of the others grabbed hold of his legs and hoisted him off his feet. Despite his protests and struggles to get out of their grasp, they managed to get him outside to the courtyard where another small group of boys were waiting. He recognized most of them, including one in particular. Ben Weeks. Ben had made it a regular event to annoy or insult him in class. No doubt he was the one to organize this particular event.

"It's your lucky day, Strife!" Ben spoke boisterously. "You know what day it is today?" he asked. Cloud said nothing. He shook his head when he was asked if he'd heard of the Old Oak Initiation. "No?" Ben exclaimed in mock surprise. "Well you're about to learn _all _about it," he claimed happily.

The boys that had been holding onto him dropped him to the ground where he gazed up at the branches of the large tree covering the area. One of the limbs had been rigged with a rope. He kicked into fight mode then as he attempted to escape the scene. He was far too outnumbered however. He found himself being held down by several of the boys while two of the others tried to get hold of one of his legs. He managed to kick them away only a few times before they were able to grab hold of his right leg and begin to tie the end of the rope around his ankle. There was only one thing going through his mind at that moment. _Shit_.

"HEY!" a loud voice shouted over the excited sounds of the cadets. Silence fell upon the crowd as they all turned their attention in the direction the voice had come. They stepped away from Cloud, those holding him down releasing him and moving to stand at attention. Cloud tilted his head back on the ground to see what was going on. He caught sight of a first class officer headed towards them.

"Oh great…" he muttered as he sat up and reached forward to untie the rope around his ankle. He got to his feet and came to attention just as the officer was coming to a stop in front of the group. Cloud recognized him to be Dorm D's assigned officer.

"Well well," the officer spoke from behind a smug grin. He crossed his arms over his broad chest and eyed each cadet critically. "Who wants to explain this one?" he asked in amusement. No one said anything though a few boys near the back of the group suppressed mild laughter. "Okay, well…since you all seem to enjoy the courtyard so much I could put you all on yard duty during recreation hours for the next few weeks," the officer suggested. "I'm sure the groundskeeper will be thrilled!" The silence continued before someone finally spoke.

"It was Weeks' idea, sir," the cadet blurted.

"You stupid snitch!" Ben shouted toward him. The officer stepped up in front of him. He towered over the cadet.

"Cadet Weeks?" he questioned expectantly.

"It was only a joke, Officer Fair," Ben claimed in defense. The dark-haired officer laughed sarcastically.

"Ohhhh it was a joke!" he spoke before turning his attention to Cloud, who averted his eyes downward. "And I'm sure Cadet…Strife found it hilarious," he added as he checked Cloud's name tag to identify him. He turned back to Ben. "We don't put up with this sort of bullshit here, Cadet Weeks." His tone was serious.

"I'm sorry, sir, it won't happen again," Ben assured him. The officer was silent a moment as he appeared to be thinking.

"No…your damn right it won't. I'll show you why," he said at last with a wide grin. Shortly after that was said, Ben was strung up in the tree, the cadets laughing heartily at him as he swung back and forth. Officer Fair paused his own laughter as he searched for the cadet the boys had been meaning to string up. There was no sign of him. _Sneaky bugger_, he thought to himself. He made a mental note to keep an eye out for him in the next few days.

Meanwhile, Cloud was rushing back to the dorm to make it there before lights out. Cadets weren't required to be in their dorms before 11 but he didn't want to be tripping over things trying to get to his bunk in the dark. Fortunately, he made it to his bedside just as the lights shut off.

"Hey," Paul greeted him quietly.

"Hey," Cloud spoke back as he began undressing.

"You okay?" Paul questioned.

"Yeah…why?" Cloud responded hesitantly.

"Dunno. You seemed kinda freaked out when you came rushing in."

"Some of us _are _interested in getting some sleep before Sigg runs us into the ground in like 7 hours," Lou piped up from his bunk.

"Sorry," Cloud apologized softly as he laid himself down on his bunk.

"Yeah, sorry for delaying your beauty rest by a whole 5 minutes, Lou," Paul added. "We know how ugly you are without it." Johnny snorted then, which resulted in a burst of laughter from both he and Paul.

"Hey! Why don't you guys shut the hell up?!" one of the other cadets called out across the room.

"Shove it, Shales," Johnny called back.

"Make me!" Shales replied fast.

"How'd you know it was him?" Paul questioned then. It _was _pretty impressive that Johnny was able to recognize his voice that easily. And it's not that he could see him. Their eyes hadn't adjusted yet to the darkness so everything was just black.

"Easy, the guy never shuts his hole in class," Johnny answered as he was shifting in his bunk, getting himself comfortable.

"You think you could ALL shut your holes?!" a different voice called out.

It took another ten minutes for the room to settle down and quiet for good. Cloud was still awake long after the sounds of sleep had set in around him. He knew that from that night on things were going to change. He had been shown conclusively by the other cadets that he wasn't a threat to them. Not a physical one anyway. Not one that couldn't be easily overcome in a group setting. And they were gunning for him. Things were only going to get worse. He was never going to fit in, so why even try…


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey everyone. Gah. So it's been FOREVER since I updated and I'm sorry. I actually ran into a bit of a block because I know what I wanted to happen in Chapter 5, I just wasn't sure how to bridge 4 and 5. And THEN I had to do a little research. So FINALLY, the update is here. I apologize if it seems a little uneventful. At least that's how it seemed to me, but I'm used to writing more intense material so I dunno. Maybe it's fine. I'll leave it up to you guys to decide lol. Cheers guys. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII_

Chapter IV

As determined as Cloud had been to stand out above the rest of his fellow cadets, the recent event that had occurred in the courtyard days earlier had stuck with him and unfortunately changed him a little. He forfeited the option to use the training facilities during recreation time, knowing now that if the other boys wanted to get him alone to torment him that's the first place they'd look. As soon as he put a stop to his solo efforts at improvement, he felt once again that he was inadequate, likely to be a disappointment to his instructors. He resigned himself to doing the opposite of what he'd been trying to achieve for weeks. Instead of trying to stand out, he let himself fall into the background. It seemed quieter there. He was still hassled by several of the other cadets, but it was far less frequent. And thus, life became less miserable again.

Well, less miserable to a certain extent. There was certainly enough misery beaten into he and the others during training, especially on the mornings his dorm had Officer Sigg as a driller which was most days. While classes ceased on weekends, early morning training didn't. It became obvious early on in the program that sleeping in was a thing of the past. Most of the cadets would have been happy not to have to wake before 7 am but that was a luxury only known on holidays now.

Another Saturday morning rolled around and alarms started up in the dorms. The room came to life slowly with unenthusiastic groans and curses. Cloud was already awake. He'd had a very uneasily sleep that night, slipping in and out of consciousness since around 1 am when he woke to see Johnny sneaking out of the dorm. Now his eyes looked up tiredly at Johnny's empty bunk and he wondered what had happened to him.

Sigg ran them into the ground that morning. He was a particularly big jerk that day, obviously annoyed by something that had nothing to do with the cadets. Not one of the boys wasn't gasping for air and sweating head to toe in the brisk October air by the end of their ass-kicking. As they were finishing up their last drill, a figure appeared on the field. It was Johnny.

"This should be good," Lou commented from next to Cloud as they were completing a set of jumping jacks. Cloud frowned, knowing as well as anyone there that Sigg was going to have one hell of a fit. The driller had made no secret of how much he didn't like Johnny. His face reddened instantly with anger as he saw him approaching. Johnny stepped onto the end of one of the middle lines of boys without a moment's hesitation. He looked like he hadn't slept at all, which wasn't surprising. What was a little surprising was the bruising on the one side of his face that suggested he'd taken one hell of a hit.

Sigg was silent as the cadets finished their drill and stood awaiting instruction. He wasn't paying attention to them, however, as his eyes were boring holes into Johnny at the moment. He moved toward him like a beast about to attack its prey, stopping mere inches in front of him. Johnny stood at attention, never wavering.

"You have some nerve, you know that, Six?!" Sigg shouted at him then.

"Yes, sir, I do," Johnny responded levelly.

"Do you want to explain to me where the hell you've been the past two hours, cadet?!" the driller continued, ignoring Johnny's smart comment.

"No, sir, I do not," Johnny replied.

"Then you can tell it to the Disciplinary Board this afternoon!" Sigg nearly screamed. It was a true test of one's will, standing in front of a screaming officer, when everything inside you told you to either shut your eyes and cover your ears or shove them away from you as hard as you could. "Get out of my sight, Six! The rest of you are dismissed!" he added as he turned and stomped away from Johnny.

"Well that was disappointing," Lou spoke up to Cloud. "I thought for sure Sigg was going to at least beat the guy's ass into the ground.

"You would have preferred to see that?" Cloud questioned with a hint of irritation in his tone. There was obviously a reason Johnny hadn't made it out to the field that morning and in his mind he wasn't sure he deserved punishment for it. He didn't give Lou a chance to respond before making his way toward Johnny, who was now accompanied by Paul as they were heading back to the facility. As he drew near to them, he could hear Paul lecturing him.

"Two meetings with the Board in one week! You're gonna get kicked out, man," Paul was stressing to him.

"Yeah well, at this point I don't think I really give a shit," Johnny responded dully.

"Well maybe you should. Why did you even come here if you didn't want to be part of the program?"

Johnny didn't answer. Cloud stepped up next to Paul. "What happened to you last night?" he questioned then. Johnny scoffed.

"You guys'll make good parents one day," he spat at them before quickening his pace to get away from them. Cloud glanced at Paul, who shrugged and shook his head. They made there way into the locker room where they got themselves cleaned up and ready for class.

By mid-morning, Cloud was torn between being happy and slightly depressed over having a non-academic class to focus on. He had started out very much enjoying his Combat and Weapons lessons and he always relished learning things that seemed useful to him in a way that grammar and math never did, but these days he was a little less eager to be in a position when his abilities would be critically analyzed by others. Regardless of what he felt, he still found himself waiting with the other cadets for their instructor to begin the day's lesson.

"It's one thing to be able to fight," the instructor, Officer Balta, spoke as he paced within the circle of cadets. "It's another thing to be able to get out of a situation where you find your ass pinned to the ground. That is why today, gentlemen, we are learning the art of wrestling."

Most of the cadets seemed pleased. Cloud, not so much. He knew what came next. "So get yourselves with a partner and we'll get started," Balta instructed. There was no choosing for Cloud. Just the awkward glancing around and watching as people paired up until there was only one option left.

"First, I wanna see you all standing with your feet just over shoulder-width apart," Balta began. "Keeping your back straight, squat down until your elbows are just within reach of your thighs. First move you will learn is the ankle pick." He turned to one of the cadets nearest to him to use as part of the demonstration. "Using your left hand, reach down and take hold of your opponent's left ankle. Pull the ankle towards your right hip and push your opponent backward. The faster this move is performed, the more effective it will be."

Each pair of boys attempted the maneuver. "With your opponent now on the floor, you will want to pin him by pressing his shoulders to the mat," the instructor spoke, using another cadet to demonstrate.

"Next. The single-leg takedown," he went on as he helped the cadet to his feet. "For this one, you will take hold of one of your opponent's legs, lift it toward your chest and turn it. This should result in your opponent lying face-down on the mat. But take it easy for now in the twisting, gentlemen. We don't need any sprained or busted knees before you've had a chance to finish learning the basics." Several of the cadets chuckled.

"Now, in the event that you do find yourself pinned down," Balta continued. "There are a few things you can do. One is arch your back, allowing yourself enough space to turn yourself over. From there you may be able to perform a speed switch. To do this, you will need to reach inside the thigh of your opponent. Keep a firm hold as you twist yourself out from under him. This will force your opponent's weight to his upper body and make it easier to immobilize him. You should now be at the advantage. Another thing that can be done is to take hold of your opponent's wrist, twisting as you pull yourself from under him, not releasing your hold as you stand up and gain the advantage once again. These moves are important so take them seriously. They could mean the difference between winning and losing in a fight."

"Swore he was gonna say life and death there for a second," one of the cadets whispered to another who suppressed his laughter.

They were left to practice the first few moves as Balta made rounds, watching each pair closely and intervening with advice as he went. That was only the beginning of their lessons in wrestling however. They were given demonstrations and time to practice a hoard of other maneuvers, a few of which did result in a few minor injuries. It wasn't Cloud's preferred form of a fight. A little too close-contact for his liking. At the end of the class, he and the others were rounded up for some last remarks.

"Beginning Monday, the last twenty minutes of each class will be open to free battle," the instructor announced, pacing once again in front of the now sweaty and fatigued group of boys before him. "This means that if you have someone you would like to challenge to a fight you may do so then. Your options will be any of the forms of hand-to-hand combat we have learned to that point. Use of weaponry will not be permitted at this stage in your learning. Make it to your second term in February and that may change, got it?" There were 30 tired replies of "Yes, sir" said nowhere near together. "Alright, go get yourselves some lunch," Balta instructed. "See you back here Monday."

Cloud intentionally dragged his feet as he headed to the cafeteria, in no big rush to stand in line for another meal of just 'okay' tasting food. He thought about the opportunity to challenge other cadets in actual fights. Balta hadn't needed to say it for it to be apparent that taking advantage of such an opportunity would reflect well on a cadet, showing his enthusiasm and interest in enrollment in the SOLDIER program. But a person didn't need a lot of smarts either to know that challenging someone to a fight could quickly escalate into something personal. Yet another dilemma to dwell on.

He met up with Paul in the cafeteria but found himself sitting alone after a few minutes as Paul was eager to get to the library to snatch up what materials he could for an assignment before anyone else could. Left on his own, he slouched in his seat and stared out the nearby window absent-mindedly before beginning to wonder what his mother would be doing at that moment. _Working probably_, he thought. The townspeople would be busy finishing up with harvest before the first snowfall. That led to a mass of other thoughts: how much snow, if any, there'd be in Midgar, what the holidays would be like away from home, whether he'd be missed. His thoughts inevitably found their way to Tifa Lockheart, probably the only friend he'd actually left behind. He'd never been more shocked in his life when she'd bid him farewell under one of the large willow trees bordering the town, telling him that she looked forward to his return before placing a small kiss on his cheek. He began to imagine what it would be like returning home a SOLDIER. What would she think of him then?

"Cadet Strife," a voice brought him out of his daydream suddenly. He looked up quickly and nearly inhaled the food in his mouth he'd been idly chewing. A first class officer was addressing him. More specifically, Dorm D's assigned officer, Officer Fair. Remembering protocol, he began to rise, his chair scraping against the floor as he did so. "Forget it, sit down," the officer said as he waved off the attempted gesture. "Mind if I sit here?" he inquired casually.

"N-no, sir," Cloud stammered, glancing back and forth at the other areas of the cafeteria. He was confused as to why the first class would want to sit across from him when there were plenty of available seats elsewhere, especially in the area where the higher ranking officers usually did sit.

"You gonna sit down?" the officer spoke once again, pulling his attention back. Cloud sat himself down promptly, watching the officer as he was twisting the cap off the bottle of water he'd brought over with his food. Memories from a few nights ago in the courtyard came rushing back, of Officer Fair intervening before he found himself in a predicament he'd have been hard-pressed to get out of.

Seeing him up close, he wasn't what Cloud expected of a first class. All the other dorm assigned officers were second classes. He'd always assumed all first classes to be intimidating. At least, the ones he'd met so far were all as such. They all seemed stark, stone-like and for lack of a better word, scary. And they certainly didn't have time for lowly initiates like him. This one was different. He wasn't very intimidating at all.

"The name's Zack," the officer said with a bright smile. Cloud stared back at him. There was no sense in introducing himself since the guy obviously already knew who he was. "You look confused," the officer now known as Zack pointed out.

"Sorry, sir…" Cloud began, clearing his throat a little before continuing. "I'm just a little surprised at you wanting to sit here."

"Why? Is there a reason I shouldn't be? You don't have gas do you?" he joked. Cloud felt a little embarrassed at the remark even though the officer wasn't being serious.

"No…sir, it's just that officers don't really seem to associate with the cadets outside of lessons or training," he answered softly.

Zack sighed, shrugging as he took a bite of his sandwich. "S'pose so," he spoke as he was chewing. "But I get this feeling like you try to avoid people so I thought I'd come make you uncomfortable." He smiled in amusement.

Cloud lowered his eyes, staring at his own half-eaten lunch, his nerves making him feel not so hungry anymore.

"So, you agree," the officer alleged.

"Excuse me, sir?" Cloud responded quickly.

"That you're trying to avoid people?"

Cloud took note of the officer eying him critically. He shifted a little in his seat uncomfortably.

"Uh, well, no, sir, I—"

"Yes, you are," Zack cut him off. "I've been watching you. You make every effort possible to go unnoticed. Not a very good idea if you're trying to get yourself recruited into SOLDIER." Cloud averted his eyes once again. The officer was right. He had been trying to make himself less visible to those around him, if only so he wouldn't be centered out by his peers as someone to pick on. Though, as irony would have it, his attempt alone had centered him out. "Funny thing is, you didn't start out this way. The drillers and instructors working with you have said you began with great enthusiasm and used to make an effort to stand out. Not so much now. So…what's the deal?"

Cloud shrugged a little. He was thrown off by how much first class, Zack, seemed to know about him. "I…don't really know, sir," he said half-heartedly. The officer looked back at him doubtfully.

"I do," Zack asserted. "Four days ago I find you about to be strung up in a tree and suddenly you have no interest in standing out? You think it's better to go unseen and thus make your life around the other cadets a little easier. Am I right?" Cloud really didn't need to say anything. Both he and Zack knew it was true. "It's not a good idea, kid, and I'll tell ya why. A very small percentage of cadet initiates will ever officially enter the ranks of SOLDIER. It means a solid life for those who do. There are a lot of boys with the physical ability to be in SOLDIER but we don't want the care-less, or the heart-less. We want the ones who really _want _to be here. Really _want _that life. If that's what you want, the biggest mistake of your life would be letting that slip away so you can go the day without having some idiots on your case. Trust me."

Cloud forced himself to meet the officer's eyes. He knew what he was saying was true. He knew that if he let himself fail he'd never forgive himself. His attention was drawn away suddenly by the sparkle of something in the officer's left ear. He couldn't help but stare awkwardly.

"What?" Zack questioned with a raised eyebrow. Cloud withdrew his gaze, throwing it downward.

"Oh, nothing," he replied quietly. "You have an earring. A guy in my dorm got his ripped out by the driller. I assumed they weren't allowed at any rank."

"I heard about that. Tough kid, whoever he is. And well, if you can make it into the SOLDIER program having given up all form of personal identity…they let you have a little back," he responded with a light smile. He glanced down at his watch then. "Well, better get my ass in gear," he commented. "Got stuff to do that ain't gonna do itself," he added as he rose to his feet. Cloud rose as well. "Think about what I said, huh?"

"Yes, sir, I will," Cloud agreed firmly, nodding and then watching as the officer headed off.

He took what the first class had said to heart and contemplated the advice he'd been given as he lay in his bunk trying to sleep that night. It had been his dream to join the ranks of SOLDIER for almost as long as he could remember. If that dream didn't come true, he didn't know what he'd do. There was only one option for him. He would do everything in his power to reach his goal, no matter what he was faced with along the way.

The next day he felt a renewed energy flowing through him. He was eager to get back to work bettering himself. He wasted no time in throwing himself back into a regiment of solo workouts in the training facility. He pushed himself perhaps more than he should have that Sunday afternoon, knowing he'd be feeling it in the morning. But at the moment, he felt better than he had all week. He loved that weak, quivering feeling he got after working out his muscles over several hours, the endorphins and adrenaline still rushing through him. But as he stood in the locker room, preparing himself to go back to the dorm, he found his heart skipping a beat with the sounds of footsteps headed down the hall toward the room. Thoughts of who it could be and what they wanted went racing through his head. He listened hard to the footsteps. It sounded like only one person. And it sounded like he had something with him, a cart maybe. There was the distinct sound of wheels squeaking. His eyes were glued to the end of the row of lockers as he waited. His fingers curled into his palms to make fists as he thought of the possibility he may have to fight.

Just then, a familiar person appeared. He halted in his tracks and shook a few strands of his deep blue-black hair out of his eyes as he noticed Cloud.

"Hey," Cloud greeted, feeling a wave of relief come over him as he stared back at Johnny. He was dressed in a pair of coveralls and was holding onto a janitor's cart ahead of him.

"Hey, Strife," he said with a slight nod.

"What are you doing?" Cloud inquired awkwardly.

"Heh, the Board put me on probation," he explained sullenly. "So I get to clean up shit during rec hours for the next month. Kinda makes me wish I hadn't bothered coming back after leaving the other night."

There was silence a moment before Cloud hesitantly asked, "Where _did _you go the other night?"

Johnny looked back at him and didn't say anything right away. Cloud assumed he was just going to tell him to mind his own business but after a few seconds he stepped away from the cart he had brought in with him and came to stand across from Cloud, leaning back against a few lockers. "Uh…I went to see my brother," he spoke quietly, shoving his hands into the pockets of the coveralls he was wearing. "I got called into the director's office on Friday with word from my mom that he was in the hospital again." Before Cloud could question it, he answered. "He has leukemia."

"Oh…" Cloud replied uneasily, not sure if he should be offering condolences or not. He decided instead to pursue the other questions he had. "So you went out in the middle of the night to see him? Why wouldn't you just ask for a day pass? Surely the director would have allowed _that_."

Johnny exhaled forcefully before answering. "I couldn't wait. In case it was too late…"

Cloud nodded in understanding, watching Johnny as he lowered his head a little, looking down at the floor and kicked at it a little with his one boot. "Who hit you?" he asked then. He hadn't really meant to but his curiosity spoke before he had a chance to suppress it. A tight smile formed on Johnny's lips.

"Hmph, my dad," he said simply. He looked up and was met with Cloud's grim expression. "Told you he was an asshole," he added.

"B-but why?" Cloud asked hesitantly, a little in disbelief. Johnny shrugged.

"I dunno. He's still pissed I left home I guess. He tried to stop me from seeing my brother. Things just got out of hand."

Another awkward silence.

"I'm sorry," Cloud spoke at last, cutting through the quiet. Johnny's eyes narrowed a little. His expression almost seemed to suggest he'd never had someone say that to him before.

"I'm not," he replied then. "What's your old man like?" he questioned, shifting the attention from himself.

"I'm not sure," Cloud spoke truthfully. "I never knew him."

Johnny didn't press that issue any further with more questions. Maybe he sensed there was nothing more Cloud could say about the man who helped create him but never raised him.

"Well, ya know what they say, right?" he said instead, his tone a little lighter. "Everything for a reason."

"You believe that?" Cloud asked critically, one eyebrow raised.

Johnny shrugged once again. "Eh, there's worse things to believe in." Cloud nodded in agreement. "I better get to work," Johnny said then as he returned to the cart at the end of the aisle. "See ya back in the dorm," he added before disappearing from sight.

"Yeah. See ya," Cloud replied quietly before shutting his locker and heading out of the room on his own.


	5. Author Note

Hey everyone,

First, I apologize that this isn't a chapter for you. If you read 'Reduced to Specimens' you know I recently had a death in my family so a lot of my time was spent with my family the past little while. Unfortunately, several other close family members have spent a fair amount of time in the hospital in the recent weeks and I've been with them so my free time has been limited. As my RtS readers also know, I will be going away on a (much-needed) vacation for the rest of February. However, I can't say for sure that I won't manage to update while I'm away. I'm not promising anything of course. I really appreciate you guys sticking around to follow this story out. I know I haven't updated regularly but that will change hopefully around the end of March. I truly hope you don't lose patience with me and decide not to read the updates when they arrive.

Take care guys,

Jaydee


	6. Chapter 5

_Hi guys, I'm back! I truly apologize for the ridiculous amount of time you've had to wait for this update and responses to your reviews. As of now I should have a lot more time to write so updates should come fairly regularly. Just something I wanted to point out, ther are a few characters that I jump between calling them by their first names or last. If this gets confusing, please let me know and I'll fix it. It's not like I need to use both names, I'm just so familiar with the characters I do it without really thinking. I think that's all I got to say. So read on and enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: Me no own FF. _

Chapter V

"Hud!"

It was the sound Cadet Ben Weeks made as he hit the mat below him on his back. Cloud had put him there and was quite proud of the fact. Weeks, however, was not so thrilled. He struggled to get out from the pin that was holding him down but it was to no avail. Officer Balta blew his whistle announcing the end of the match and Cloud as the winner. It had been about a week and a half since the cadets had been given the opportunity to challenge one another to real fights during the last part of class. Ben had challenged him. It had been Cloud's first challenge, and he suspected now that it wouldn't be his last, not if the looks on the faces of several other cadets meant anything.

He'd become an annoyance to the others. That's the best way he could think to describe it. He'd been working harder than most of them to improve his abilities, giving up a lot of his free time in the process. He also committed himself to extra academic study, knowing that if anything, that would be his real weak point. He took less sleep, less rec time, and more hell than most of the others. The instructors respected him. And above all, that's what made him a real annoyance to the other cadets. That, and that no amount of verbal taunting they could dish out seemed to get to him. On the outside anyway. It bothered him, sure. But not enough to make him want to do anything different. He valued those moments when one of the officers acknowledged his improvements. It meant he was getting closer to his goal. He really needed to feel that accomplishment.

Four days earlier he'd made an ass of himself. At least that's how he felt about it. He'd been working out in one of the facilities at around 9 pm as usual when he'd passed out unexpectedly. He woke up in the infirmary the following morning. He'd been found a few hours earlier by a group of officers. Officers! They couldn't have been cadets, no. They were officers, who in his mind probably looked at him like he was the most pathetic excuse for a cadet they'd seen in a long time. He didn't know who the officers were and he preferred not to know. Somehow it made it a little less embarrassing. The next thing he'd had to be ashamed of was the reason for his passing out. Dehydration and exhaustion. He'd passed out because he was _thirsty _and _tired_. It was all preventable and it pissed him off. Probably more than it had pissed Sigg off that he hadn't been on the field that morning for his bootcamp exercises.

The driller certainly seemed to enjoy mocking him the next day. Now the entire dorm knew how pathetic he was. He had a lot to prove then in his mind. More than was necessary. A lot of the boys didn't even really care. Still, one was one too many…

Drawing in a few deep breaths, he straightened himself and stepped back from Ben, wiping some trailing sweat from his face onto the one sleeve of his shirt.

"Good job, Strife," the instructor congratulated him on his win.

"Thank you, sir," he replied with a nod. He reached out a hand to help Ben to his feet but the cadet ignored the gesture, coming to a stand on his own. He paused in front of Cloud a moment before uttering something in a low tone.

"You're fuckin' dead, Strife."

Cloud smiled briefly at the thought he'd gotten Ben that upset. He didn't take the threat seriously. It was said a hundred times a day by the cadets on whole. They were never serious threats.

Balta dismissed them for lunch then. Cloud made his way down to the cafeteria, meeting up with hoards of others headed down for probably their first meal of the day. Most, like he, chose to skip breakfast because they were undergoing early-morning exercises with their drillers. There was the option to try and grab something before but most found it too difficult to work out when they'd just eaten. As a result, people were usually the grumpiest before lunch. The lines in the cafeteria were always the longest before lunch and the room was always more rowdy. It took nearly half an hour for Cloud to get himself something to eat before he spotted Paul and sat down across from him.

"How are you always here so fast?" he questioned Paul in mild annoyance.

"The instructor of the class I got before lunch lets us out early so we can beat the rush," he replied happily.

"Must be nice," Cloud muttered. He was about to take a bite of his food when something hit his elbow, nearly knocking his fork from his hand. He looked up to see Weeks passing by the table, a sneer on his round, somewhat pudgy face. He wasn't over-weight by any stretch of the word, yet his face seemed to be leaning more in that direction. Cloud smirked as he observed him about to collide with Johnny as he was heading their way. His and Johnny's shoulders met and Weeks was pushed back a step.

"Watch it!" he snapped at Johnny before pushing his way past him. Johnny looked back at him a moment before sitting himself down.

"What's that asshole's problem?" he questioned somewhat disinterestedly.

"He's pissed off 'cause I kicked his ass in CW class today," Cloud explained happily.

"You guys are doing the whole real-fight thing at the end of classes now too?" Paul asked. Cloud nodded.

"Have either of you done a match yet?" Cloud inquired.

"I haven't," Paul replied. He motioned at Johnny. "He has though."

Cloud looked at Johnny. "Did you win?"

Johnny shook his head. "Doesn't matter, wasn't a real fight," he claimed between mouthfuls of food.

"He won," Paul said with a nod. "Sure seemed like a real fight to me," he added.

"Wrong," Johnny denied. "The only time you will ever have a real fight is when it's one on one, no one watching, no referee."

"And why's that?" Paul asked. Johnny smirked.

"You'll know when you get in a real fight," was all he said in return.

Cloud couldn't help but think back on all the 'fights' he'd been in growing up. They'd always seemed like fights to him. What else would they be? He'd rarely fought just one person without a ton of others watching. Most of the time he hadn't really even been fighting, more like blocking an attack. Memories flooded in on him from his time back in his hometown of Nibelheim. Only two weeks before leaving for the academy he'd nearly had his nose broken as the result of a cheap shot one of the boys he'd gone to school with sprung on him unexpectedly. He'd taken a lot of hits like that. Surprise attacks. He was very familiar with them.

He'd rarely been able to inflict as much damage as he'd taken himself over the years, on account of most of his fights finding him severely outmatched. No one ever fought on his side with him. Sometimes Tifa had jumped in the middle, breaking up a brawl before it could go too far. She stopped doing that after he practically begged her not to anymore. It was embarrassing. Eventually she was able to understand that and would walk away whenever a fight was about to break out.

There was one time when he had actually hurt someone pretty badly. It was a kid named Dolson. A kid who had in all likelihood been responsible for somewhere around 5 hours of Cloud's total experience of being beat up. Dolson was a big kid, nearly twice Cloud's size when they were growing up. He was a typical bully and he thrived on feedback from spectators. He had jumped Cloud one morning as he was headed through a park area to school. He knocked Cloud out, and with the help of two of his friends, dragged him into the cover of some nearby bushes where they left him…

_Cloud awoke a few hours later. He wasn't sure what to do at that point, whether he should go to school or not. He knew he had to be late by then. The spots of dried blood on him indicated yet another shirt was going to be stained and his mother would know yet again he'd been in a fight. _

_He couldn't go home and he didn't want to go to school. He settled on sitting in the small clearing he'd been dragged into, scraping flecks of dried blood from his chin where it'd trailed from his split lip, and working on the assignments he hadn't bothered to do the night before. He spent the day there, enjoying the quiet and the time he had to himself. He hadn't planned what happened that afternoon when he'd seen Dolson on his own. If the jerk hadn't gotten curious about him and decided to see if Cloud was still lying where he left him Cloud probably wouldn't have done what he did._

_He watched as Dolson neared the bushes, turning back a few times to see if anyone was looking. He realized then that the opportunity was perfect to get back at Dolson. There was no one to get in the way; no one to help Dolson out in preventing Cloud from getting the upper hand. Dolson was leaning in, squinting to see through the bushes. He didn't realize he was looking just over Cloud, who was crouched down in front of him. Now, Cloud urged himself before jumping up and reaching his hands out fast to grasp Dolson's shirt. Dolson released a startled cry as he was pulled through the branches of the bushes and into the clearing where Cloud threw him onto the ground. _

_"What the fuck?!" he exclaimed as he stared up from the ground. Cloud could see anger firing up in his eyes. He had to act. Staring back at him wasn't going to do anything. He threw a punch that was blocked promptly. Dolson shoved him back then, quickly gaining the upper hand. It was more a battle of strength than anything. Each had hold of the other's wrist trying to prevent being hit. It all ended when Cloud grabbed hold of a rock and let his hand fly. He wasn't going to be stupid and use it to bash Dolson's skull in, though he secretly wanted to. He went for his face instead. Hitting him once good and hard before dropping the rock and continuing the onslaught of hits with his fists. All his pent-up aggression was released then as he found himself kneeling over Dolson, throwing hits into him over and over. Dolson blocked most of the hits with his hands and arms but his face took its fair share. Cloud stopped when he thought he heard crying. _

_He pulled back, lifting himself up and stepping back from Dolson. "You're…crying?" he questioned in shock. Cloud had cried many times, alone in his room at night. But never during a fight. It was a pathetic sight, seeing one of the boys who'd bullied him most of his life lying at his feet bawling like a baby. Slowly, he grabbed his things and turned away, still shocked at the scene. He left the area, headed for home. He was unable to think of anything but what Dolson looked like when he left. There was so much blood on his face; his features had been covered in it. _

_Dolson wasn't at school the next day, or the day after, or the day after that. And yet, no one said anything to Cloud about it. He was sure after the first day of Dolson's absence that he'd be questioned about what happened and in all likelihood charged by the local police. Dolson had been in bad shape. He'd heard talk, that he'd spent the first few nights in the nearest hospital two towns over. That fact struck a tiny bit of guilt in Cloud. Not enough to keep him up at night. There were a few times he'd been injured bad enough to warrant a visit to the hospital but his mother had been unable to afford it so he'd been treated by the local doctor instead. In one such instance Dolson himself had given him a broken arm. He had to wait hours for the doctor to see him and he was lucky it was a clean break or he'd probably have had more permanent damage. _

_After a week of absence, Dolson returned to school. No one ever bothered Cloud about what had happened. In fact, it became clear that Dolson must have kept quiet on who was responsible. Whether he said nothing out of shame or something else, Cloud didn't know. He'd never know._

When he thought back on that fight he realized Johnny may have been on to something. Not necessarily that it was the only real fight he'd ever been in, he was still a little skeptical over that, but it had certainly been different. It had been up to him how far he was going to go. He could have done more damage to Dolson than he did. Hell, he could have killed him but he didn't. And Dolson had cried. Cloud still remembered just what it sounded like…

"You know next week is the last week before mid-terms," Paul spoke, drawing him back to the present.

_That's right_, Cloud thought. They'd come up so quickly. There was no option but to pass the exams.

"Apparently we gotta pass seventy percent of the exams in order to continue on to the next half of the semester," Paul said, echoing his thoughts. "It's gonna be tough. I looked up the statistics. Thirty-five to forty percent of new recruits flunk out during the first round of exams each October. I know there's a few people I wouldn't mind seeing gone," he added. Cloud silently agreed as he thought of several cadets he'd like to never see again.

The next week was going to be hectic. Instructors were rushing to make sure the cadets knew what they needed to for the exams. It was the first year exams would be run under new amendments to the curriculum. Initiates were expected to be more knowledgeable and skillful than in previous years, having to learn a lot more in a shorter period of time. Paul had explained it to him one night in the dorms. The Board of Directors had made the decision to amend the curriculum because too many recruits were entering the ranks of SOLDIER with only a basic skill level, especially in the areas of combat and weaponry, which had proven to be crucial skills in the field. Too many new SOLDIERS had been lost on various missions because they weren't able to fight properly. It was no secret that the number of SOLDIERs had dropped to a critically low level over the past 4 years. The amendments meant that cadets would be training with lethal weaponry sooner to ensure they had a firm ability to operate such weaponry in the field. Most of the cadets were excited. It meant they would have their hands on some real weapons even before the mid-terms. Next week to be exact. Cloud felt a mixture of excitement and apprehension about that. He and the others had no idea how much of their skill with weaponry they'd be expected to demonstrate during the exams. There was very little time to practice and cadets weren't permitted entrance to the weaponry training facility. All their training would take place during classes.

It didn't really matter to Cloud. Failure wasn't an option.

"You going home next weekend, Cloud?" Paul questioned. Cloud raised an eyebrow in response. _What's next weekend?_ he asked himself. "Ya know, for the holidays. It'll be Thanksgiving weekend," Paul clarified.

"Oh…I'm not really sure," he responded lowly. _Crap, I forgot all about the stupid holidays_, he cursed himself. He knew without a doubt he wasn't going back to Nibelheim but trying to come up with a reason to give his mother would be a challenge. No doubt she would be expecting him.

"What about you?" Paul asked Johnny, who was finishing his lunch while reading over an assignment paper he'd been given. "You going home?"

"This _is_ home," Johnny replied simply. "Besides, I'm still on probation," he added.

"So? That doesn't mean you don't get holidays," Paul argued.

"No, but it means ninety-six hours that I will have nothing to do but try to finish my hours off."

Cloud knew that wasn't the real reason Johnny wanted to hang around for the weekend instead of finding someplace else to spend the holidays. Even the fact that he was basically homeless had nothing to do with it. He could have found somewhere to go no problem. He knew enough people on the streets. It was that his brother was still in the hospital and he wanted to be somewhere reachable if something happened.

"So you're both just gonna hang around here for four days? That's _so_ lame," Paul declared, rising from his seat.

"Don't cry about it," Johnny said without looking up.

"Screw you, I'll cry over your lameness if I feel like it," Paul joked.

"Where are you really going?" Cloud questioned.

"To get some stuff from the dorm before next class. _Planetary Science_, cause I'm sure that will be really necessary knowledge to have in SOLDIER," he replied.

"More necessary than _English_," Cloud muttered back. "Guess I better get my stuff too," he added, deciding to ditch the rest of his lunch.

"See ya, Johnny," Paul said before heading off with Cloud.

When they arrived at the dorm, they noticed immediately that many of the bunks had one or more envelopes on them. Paul looked at Cloud happily.

"Mail Day! Finally! They must have been hoarding it for weeks!" he said as he rushed to his bunk. Cloud hadn't been expecting anything so he was a little surprised he had one white envelop sitting on his bed. It wasn't much compared to the 4 or 5 Paul had gotten but it was enough. It was from his mother. He stared down at it for a few seconds, not sure if he wanted to open it right then or wait. As corny as he knew it was, he suspected if he read it right there his homesickness would come to the surface and he'd get teary eyed. He decided to wait, shoving it in his pocket and gathering his materials for his next class.

000

"Zack," a voice spoke from the doorway across the room. Zack didn't notice as he was a million miles away in his head, staring out the window of his room though not seeing any of the view. "Zack!" the voice spoke more insistently, snapping Zack from his trance-like state. He turned back to see his friend Kunsel looking at him expectantly. He dragged a smile up to his face to greet him.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound as tired as he felt.

"Aren't you supposed to be meeting with the Board of Directors?" his friend questioned with a tone of concern. Zack's eyes widened as he realized Kunsel was right.

"Shit! What time is it?" he asked as he began searching frantically for his file folder of documents he was supposed to bring with him.

"Four twenty-five," Kunsel answered.

"Great, so I'm only five minutes late. That'll understand right?" Zack said as he continued to search, nearly destroying the chaotic stack of crap that was already gathered on his desk.

"I don't think so," Kunsel replied in mild amusement.

"Me neither."

"Zack," he tried to get his attention but he was too busy tearing up his room. "Zack!"

"What!" Zack responded loudly, swinging around to face his friend who was holding up a familiar blue folder in his hand. "You left it in the office," he explained with a smug grin.

"Heh…Thanks," Zack said with slight embarrassment as he stepped forward and took the folder from him. "Now, my keys…" he said as he began scanning the room. Kunsel pulled a set from inside his one pocket. Zack shoulders sagged as he realized they were his.

"Also in the office," his friend said. "Sometimes I wonder just how you were able to make it to first class," he went on as they stepped out of the room, pausing so Zack could lock his door.

"I've often wondered that myself," Zack agreed.

"You sure it was a good idea, volunteering to be part of the Initiate Program this year?" his friend asked hesitantly.

"And what else was I supposed to do? The company doesn't seem to want to send me on any missions anymore. I can't just sit around looking over incident reports and civic complaint paperwork. I'll go nuts. So yes, I think it's a great idea."

"You know why the company isn't utilizing you right now," Kunsel said matter-of-factly. Zack looked at him with a questioning glance. "Because the last two missions you were sent on you weren't focused." Zack huffed in response. "You're an excellent SOLDIER, Zack, one of the best! You were one of the youngest to ever make first class. But that's nothing if you're gonna fall short in the field."

Zack stopped a few meters away from the board room. "Wow. Thanks for the talk, buddy. I think it's really changed my life. I feel like I should do something like…plant a tree." He motioned to move forward but Kunsel stopped him.

"Zack, it was nine months ago," he said softly, placing a hand on Zack's shoulder. Zack glanced down at it before pulling away.

"Thanks for reminding me," he replied emotionlessly before making his way into the boardroom.

000

"As promised, we're beginning our work with weaponry today," Balta spoke to the cadets as they stood in a semi-circle around him. It was a week before exams, just a few days until the holiday weekend. "In previous years we've started with the less volatile equipment or what we've called 'soft-sided' weaponry and worked up to the 'bladed,' but the new curriculum stipulates you all have a basic knowledge of swordsmanship as it will be your primary weapon should you make it into the ranks of SOLDIER. So, we're cutting straight to the chase and are going to be working with short swords."

Balta motioned to the wall behind him where a line of sheathed weaponry sat. "Yes, they are real blades," he continued. "Albeit not the sharpest but they_ will_ cut you. Because there are certainly more skilled officers than myself in the area of blades, I've requested the presence of a first class officer to help demonstrate some of the techniques. Officer Fair was generous enough to offer his assistance."

Cloud immediately looked around, as did a few of the other cadets, as if Zack was going to be hiding in some corner somewhere.

"Before we get started," the instructor when on, "each of you is required to put on protective vests and sleeves _before _picking up a weapon. You _will_ be mock-battling today. Now, if you would like to remain in the initiate program I suggest you listen the hell up. This is _not_ a real battle situation; your offensive moves will be made slowly and carefully, giving enough time for your opponent to block. You will not take the fight below the waste. You will not make offensive moves anywhere outside of the protected areas; that includes shoulders, wrists, hands, neck, and face. You got it?"

"Yes, sir!" the group responded

"Alright, suit up!" Balta commanded and the cadets approached the protective gear they were to wear. While getting themselves ready, Officer Fair arrived, smiling brightly and waving to the cadets in his dorm. He nodded at Cloud who suddenly wished he weren't visible. He, as well as the other cadets, realized very quickly that there was a lot more to handling a sword than they previously thought. Yet Cloud was surprisingly comfortable with the blade. Granted it was only a short sword, he felt he'd have little trouble adjusting to the longer blades as the lessons progressed. He knew as he was practicing the various stances, offensives and defenses that he never wanted to go back to civilian status again.

For the second half of the class, they were paired up for mock battling. As the bastard, Fate, would have it, he was paired with Weeks. Neither of them were happy about that one. Cloud was on the offensive first, alternating between vertical, horizontal, and downward swinging cuts. He was anxious to increase the speed of his attack but held off for the simple fact he feared being terminated from the program if he didn't adhere to the rules set out by the instructor. He'd glanced over a few times at Zack, wanting to confirm that he was still far enough away not to see how he was doing but alas, the officer approached him only minutes later. He watched a moment in silence while Cloud tried desperately not to screw up his technique.

"Good," Zack said then and Cloud paused. "That's good, Cloud. Just, make your stance a little wider. Your attack will be stronger," he instructed and demonstrated first before watching Cloud's imitation. "There, much better," he said with a wide smile before giving him a firm pat on the back and turning to make his way to another pair of cadets.

Cloud turned his attention back to Ben to see him glaring. "You're such a fucking kiss-ass, _Cloud_," he said his name with a mixture of contempt and mockery. Cloud said nothing in response. "It's not gonna help you pass the midterms," he added as he got into offensive position.

"Maybe not," Cloud responded. "But I _am _going to pass them, so you better get used to me being around, 'cause I'm not going anywhere," he said firmly.

Ben didn't seem impressed with Cloud's statement. He began his attacks, more quickly than he was supposed to but Cloud kept up, which only seemed to anger Ben more. He began making moves that were improvised, and sloppy as they were it was difficult to know where they were going to land.

Cloud could see what was about to happen but he wasn't expecting it so he hesitated on his defense. It was a critical mistake as he saw the blade on Ben's sword heading for his left leg. He jumped back but was unable to avoid injury as the tip sliced through fabric of his pants and through several layers of his flesh on his thigh. He dropped his weapon and a small cry of surprise fell from him as he lowered himself to his one knee, gripping his thigh. Several of the mock-fights going on nearby stopped suddenly as the cadets turned to see what had happened.

"Out of the way!" Zack's voice called out from over the sounds of the other cadets. They parted immediately to let him through. "What happened? Strife, you alright?" he questioned as he approached quickly.

"Yeah," Cloud answered uneasily, still gripping his leg. "I'm fine, sir," he tried to assure him. Truth was he didn't know that he was fine. He was too afraid to move his hand to find out.

"Let's see. Move your hand," Zack commanded. Reluctantly, he complied, lifting his hand slowly. As soon as he did so, blood rushed to the surface of a three-inch long diagonal line in his skin. "Shit," Zack exclaimed grimly. "You're not fine."

"Goddamit, Weeks, are you an idiot?!" Balta nearly screamed at Ben as he wrenched the short sword from his grasp. What part of 'not below the waist' didn't you under-fucking-stand?"

"I-I'm okay," Cloud stuttered, trying to imagine the fabric of his pants wasn't becoming quickly wet with his blood.

"Keep pressure on it, Strife," Zack instructed then. "I'll take you down to the infirmary."

"The rest of you, pack it up," Balta added. "We're done for the day. Weeks, you'll be sticking around for a little chat."

Zack took hold of one of Cloud's arms, helping him to his feet. "Keep your hand on it, kid," he directed as they were headed out of the training area. Cloud nodded somewhat absent-mindedly. He was more preoccupied thinking about how much he really didn't want to go to the infirmary. He hated the thought of filling out all that paperwork yet again.

He felt somewhat awkward as he trudged along with Zack next to him. He noticed that the officer was strangely quieter than usual. He couldn't help but question it.

"Is everything…alright, sir?" he asked hesitantly. Zack looked down at him with a smile and scoffed.

"You're asking _me_ if everything is alright?" he said in surprise. He laughed lightly. "Sure, things are great! How's _your_ day going?" Cloud gave a small smile in return.

Fortunately, the infirmary wasn't very far from the weaponry training area. Probably for good reason.

"You're lucky. The cut wasn't deeper. Another inch and your femoral artery would have been hit," the doctor explained as he was stitching Cloud's new wound closed.

"You don't have to stay, sir," Cloud said to Zack as he was trying to sit still for the stitching process. No matter how many time he received stitches he never got used to it.

"You kidding? You got me out of work, I ain't goin' anywhere!" Zack replied happily. His phone rang then, as if right on cue. "Zack," he spoke into the phone. "Really? Alright, be right there." He sighed as he flipped his cell shut. "Well, work found me. I'll see ya around, kid. You did really good today but make sure you relax this weekend, you could use the rest and you don't wanna put too much strain on those stitches."

"Yes, sir," Cloud agreed. He watched as Zack left quickly.

"Alright," the doctor spoke up. "One of the nurses will come in and apply some bandaging to this. Keep it clean and you won't have to come back for a few weeks, at which point we'll take the stitches out. And do as the officer suggested, rest as much as possible. I know that's difficult for you boys to handle but it's for your own good."

Cloud nodded in reluctant agreement. Once left alone, he shifted himself a little, trying to get comfortable as he was waiting. As he was moving he felt something pressing against his right leg. _There's something in my pocket_, he thought. He nearly gasped as he realized he'd forgot all about the letter he'd put there. It was fairly crushed when he fished it out but still sealed and presumably readable. At least he hadn't washed his pants with the letter inside.

Slowly, he tore open the envelope and pulled out the thin piece of notepaper. _Dear Cloud_. The words jumped out to him. Just knowing his mother had written the letter was enough to make his heart ache a little.

_Dear Cloud, _

_I hope everything is going well for you and that you are taking care of yourself. I've missed you terribly. It's so much quieter here now. _

He mentally chucked at that sentence. He'd always been quiet himself. He couldn't imagine there being much difference without him there.

_Harvest is nearly finished, and I suspect we'll have our first snowfall any day now. I took on a second job as a seamstress so I should be able to send some money to you soon. I'm sure you've been making lots of friends that you will want to go out and have a good time with during your free time. _

Again Cloud had to laugh. He'd never had friends growing up so why his mother would think he had some now was laughable.

_Please take some time to write back to me, it would make me happier than you know. Also, Tifa says 'hi.' She would have written you but she didn't have your address. I hope you don't mind that I gave it to her. _

_Take care, Darling. Love you always, _

_Mom_

Cloud had to remember to breathe. After he'd finished skimming the letter he sought out the lines that had immediately afflicted his stomach with butterflies. _Tifa says 'hi.' She would have written but she didn't have your address. I hope you don't mind that I gave it to her. _

This meant, Tifa had been asking about him. He couldn't believe it. She was going to write to him! Her. Tifa Lockheart. He smiled a moment, trying to imagine what she'd write. That was until that one dreaded thought entered his head.

_What will I write back?_


	7. Chapter 6

_Hello all! The update has arrived! I just wanted to mention before you get into it that I've included parts in the chapter that were seen as flashbacks in Reduced to Specimens. I'll confess I didn't change much of the wording as it appeared in RtS. Yes, I plagiarized my own work lol. Which is actually a pretty serious offence by some academic standards, but since it's a fanfic...well I'm thinking it's alright :) _

_Half of the next chaper is already written so it shouldn't take very long for me to get it up. Maybe by the end of the week or on the weekend. _

_That's all from me! Read on and enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: No own FF things. _

Chapter VI

Cloud's eyes were locked on the set of dark, wooden doors across the hall from where he was sitting. He jiggled his right leg nervously as he waited for one of those doors to open. It had been about a day and a half since he'd been injured by Weeks in his CW class. Now, Weeks had been ordered to appear in front of the Disciplinary Board and Cloud was to be present. So far all he'd done is sit outside the room, waiting to be called on. He imagined he understood what witnesses appearing in court felt like.

The past few days had been tedious. His instructors and drillers had been contacted to let them know he'd obtained an injury that restricted him from strenuous physical activity for at least 5 days. His dorm-assigned officer, Tanner, had told him to not bother joining the rest of the cadets on the field for their morning workouts. It was depressing. That morning and the previous morning he'd woken to the sounds of the alarms going off in the dorm and had to watch as everyone else prepared to start the day while he lay in bed knowing he didn't need to be up for another 3 hours. He was forced to sit out in several of his classes, permitted only to watch the others learn valuable techniques and skills that he feared he would be tested on the following week in exams. He was pissed at Weeks and ultimately he knew he had the power to get rid of him.

The door to the board room opened then, surprising him a little. He stood immediately as a security officer looked out toward him.

"Cadet Strife?" he spoke and Cloud nodded. "Come on in," he instructed.

Cloud entered the room, not really sure what to expect. It wasn't a very large room and there were only 6 people present, other than himself. 3 presumable board members, the security officer, Weeks, and their class instructor, Officer Balta. Weeks was the only one who didn't look at him when he entered.

"Please have a seat, cadet," one of the board members said as he motioned to an empty seat next to Balta. "We take incidences like this very seriously, Cadet Strife," the same member continued. "The safety of our cadets is just as important as the safety of our SOLDIERs. So you can understand why this is a serious matter."

"Yes, sir," Cloud agreed with a subtle nod.

"Would you please explain the nature of the incident," another of the board members requested.

Cloud cleared his throat softly before answering. "It was a, uh, an accident," he lied. He didn't look at Ben, though he wanted to, just to see what expression he was wearing. But he knew if he looked over at him it would seem suspicious to the board members.

"You're positive?" the third board member questioned.

"Yes, sir," Cloud answered firmly.

He didn't know why he'd lied. He knew without a doubt that Weeks had meant to harm him. Hell, there was satisfaction in his eyes when he had. It wasn't that he feared what would happen if he'd told the truth. But that's as far as his explanation went.

Weeks was given a citation. When Cloud had heard that he suddenly wished he'd gotten the jerk kicked out. It was hardly a punishment. The politics of the system were becoming suddenly clear. A person like Weeks gets away with a _"Don't do it again" _and a person like Johnny gets a month's worth of probation for doing something that was of no harm to anyone else.

As they were headed away from the boardroom, Ben walked up next to Cloud and in a quiet but harsh voice muttered "This changes nothing between us. Stay the hell out of my way." With that said he quickened his pace and headed off down the long hall back to the dorms.

"You're welcome," Cloud responded lowly as he watched after him.

That night, the dorms were alive with excitement. The holiday weekend had arrived and for the first time in over a month they weren't expected to be on the field at 5:30 in the morning. It was a nice thought but Cloud had to admit, he'd rather have been up exercising at that time than what he was going to be doing. Which was nothing. He had four days to do nothing. Of course, that's not what he was going to do. He would take advantage of the time he had to study for the following week. He thought about hitting up the training facilities, despite being told to relax and keep the strain off his injured leg. But surely a little light weight training wasn't going to do any harm…

Most of the cadets who lived in Midgar or somewhere nearby left that evening, while the rest left the following morning. By early afternoon, the place seemed empty. It was odd to have so much quiet after not having any for so long. Cloud and Johnny were the only cadets from their dorm who'd stayed behind. Johnny had said about 7 others throughout the other dorms had stayed behind as well but they might as well have been invisible. Cloud didn't run into any of them once in the first day. In the early evening he checked out a few books from the library and took advantage of one of the empty study rooms, feeling a little awkward about reading around a bunch of officers.

He'd been reading for about an hour and a half when he was interrupted.

"Strife!" a voice called out from behind him. He turned around in his chair to see Officer Fair standing in the doorway. Remembering his protocol, he rose from his chair quickly to stand at attention. The officer moved toward him, waving a hand at him in a gesture that told him he could stand at ease.

"What the bloody hell are you still doing here?" he questioned then. "The holidays have started and you're in here reading…" he reached past Cloud to grab the book off the table "_Principles of the Opponent_? Geeze…sounds deep." He passed it back to Cloud. "Why haven't you left yet?"

Cloud shifted a little nervously in front of him. "I'm staying here for the holidays," he explained somewhat dully.

"What?! Don't you wanna go home and see your family?" Zack asked with slight concern.

"I…can't really afford to go home right now," Cloud partially lied. It was true, his money was tight but he didn't really want to go home anyway. He had been delaying the inevitable call he would need to make to his mother to let her know he wouldn't be home at all. He met Zack's eyes, seeing them full of sympathy. "It's cool though. I don't mind staying here," he added with a forced smile. There was a bit of an awkward silence before Zack brightened up and spoke once again.

"Well hell, kid! I ain't just gonna let you sit here reading all weekend. Get on your civies, me and some of the guys are headin' out for supper and you're coming along!"

Cloud's eyes widened slightly and he gripped the book in his hands a little tighter. "But I—"

"Ahh, no buts! You got ten minutes, go!" Zack urged, pushing Cloud toward the door.

Cloud fumbled at his dresser to pull out his street clothes and get them on quickly. His mind was racing. _Oh my God…what the hell am I doing? I'm going to be having supper with Officer Fair and his friends. It's going to be so weird. They're gonna hate me being there_…He had never really just 'hung out' with a group of guys before. He had no idea what to expect, especially now when he was going to be with a group of guys all older than he was.

He received a surprisingly warm welcome from the other officers when he was introduced to them through Zack. They teased him about wanting to be part of the program and shared their own horror stories from when they were cadets.

He sat through dinner quietly, listening to the guys' conversations going around him, laughing when they did. They had been there about two hours when Zack tried to impress the guys with a coin trick. He failed miserably and got peanut shells and pretzels tossed at him. Without really thinking, Cloud reached for one of the guys' lighters sitting on the table top.

"Can I borrow this?" he asked softly and the guy nodded.

He sat it on the table in front of him horizontally and took one of the empty beer bottles from the center of the table. He turned it over and balanced the mouth of it on the lighter.

"Oh, the kid's gotta trick!" Zack called out over the others, shutting them up and drawing their attention.

Cloud cleared his throat. "Okay, I'll bet you ten gil I can get the lighter out from under the bottle without touching the bottle and without the bottle falling over," he said to Zack.

"HA! Deal," Zack agreed, smiling in amusement. Cloud nodded and smirked as he placed his fists on the table top and extended his index fingers. He concentrated a moment. In one swift motion he pulled his hands toward the ends of the lighter, his index fingers striking it at the same time. It shot off the table into his lap and the bottle landed on its mouth with a thud. There was a brief silence when everyone stared at the bottle before they all spoke up at once, some cheering, a few shouting that it wasn't possible. "Wait a minute! Do that again!" Zack demanded. Cloud laughed and set the lighter and bottle back up. Again he performed the trick, successfully getting the lighter out from under the bottle without it falling over. Zack sighed, reaching for his wallet as some of the other guys went about trying to do the trick themselves. He handed Cloud his winnings and smiled brightly. "You impress me, kid," he said genuinely. Cloud returned a smile, feeling suddenly like he was fitting in for once.

"Listen up! I'd like to make a toast," the officer named Kunsel called out across the table as he came to a stand, holding his glass. The guys grew quiet then as they turned his way. "To good food and a decent paycheck. And to friends. Present, retired, and lost." Cloud noticed the officer's eyes fixing on Zack as he mentioned 'lost' friends. He glanced at Zack to see him looking down at his own glass, his expression hard and his brow furrowed. _Did someone he know die? _He wondered. The guys all clicked glasses then, including Zack, as he brought a light smile to his face, chasing away the traces of sorrow.

Cloud returned to the dorm feeling pretty good about the night. He hadn't exactly been overly social but it was a step up for him considering he'd spent most of his nights with his mother. As he lay in bed in the empty dorm, he thought about what it would be like when he officially entered the ranks of SOLDIER. He would be granted access to the rest of the Academy grounds, and even the Shinra headquarters. He thought of the important people he'd meet. Perhaps he'd even get to meet General Sephiroth. He smiled as he thought about it. It was all just eight months away…provided he got in. But he didn't have any real doubts about it. He _had_ to pass. That's all there was.

He spent the rest of the weekend training as much as he could with his injury, despite being told not to. He couldn't just do nothing and besides, he had been trying to make himself seem invisible. While he'd had a lot of fun the night before with Zack and his friends, he had also felt awkward, and he didn't want to be dragged out again.

He'd called his mother on the Saturday to apologize for not being able to make it home. While she told him she understood and that it was alright, he could tell she was disappointed. He couldn't stand the thought that he was making her feel bad but he just couldn't go back home. Not until he'd reached his goal. It had crossed his mind what he'd do at Christmas when they were given time off once again. His mother would be heartbroken if he didn't see her then. _Maybe she could come here_, he contemplated. He decided to worry about it later. He hadn't even passed the midterms yet. If he didn't pass, he'd be going home a lot sooner than Christmas.

He hardly saw Johnny at all that weekend. He suspected that while Johnny had said he was going to spend the entire holiday working off his probation hours, he had probably taken some time to go see either friends or his brother. Since Johnny had been the only other cadet from their dorm who'd stayed over the weekend, by Monday Cloud had gotten used to the sound of silence around him. Unfortunately, the quiet began to dissipate as cadets coming back from their holidays began to trickle into the dorms. By supper time, most had arrived, including Lou, who went into great detail almost immediately about the turkey hunt he went on with his family. Cloud had never shot anything so it was a fairly foreign topic for him.

Paul arrived after supper at around eight. He was eager to know what Cloud did all weekend on his own. Cloud didn't bother to mention how he'd gone out with Zack and his buddies on the Friday night. Paul didn't ask too many questions on account of it getting late and still needing to study some for the first midterms the following day. Most of the cadets followed suit. The academic exams began the next day at 1 p.m. and ran through the week. Non-academic practical exams began on Monday of the following week. Cloud felt like he'd studied himself out over the weekend. He flipped through his one binder absent-mindedly as he lay on his bunk.

"Where the hell is Six at?" Paul inquired as he was making a few point-form notes on something out of a textbook. "Did he study all weekend like you, ya nerd," he joked.

"I really didn't see him around much," Cloud replied with a shrug.

"Heh, doing things he's not supposed to probably. He doesn't even need to study anyway," Paul added. "He's like some kind of genius. It's freakin' annoying."

"A genius?" Lou questioned skeptically from where he was lying on his own bunk. "He can't follow simple orders. He's an idiot."

"There's a difference between not following orders 'cause you are dumb and not following orders 'cause you just choose not to," Paul argued. "And he's not an idiot. He reads stuff once and just remembers it."

"It's called photographic memory," Lou claimed fast. "And you don't have to be smart to have one."

"Wish I had one," Cloud muttered as he was staring at a list of chemical compounds.

"How's the leg, by the way?" Paul asked then.

"Sore-ish, but fine," Cloud replied a little dully. He didn't like remembering there was even something wrong with it.

"You think you'll be okay when you have your practical exams?"

"Is there a choice?" he retorted. Paul laughed dryly.

"Probably not."

The tension was clear the next morning when the cadets were dragging themselves out of bed for morning drills. Many had been up late, cramming as much knowledge as they could into their brains. There was an overall air of irritability hanging about the dorms.

"C'mon guys, we only got fifteen minutes to get outside," Paul urged as he stood up and prodded at Johnny, who was still fast asleep. Even Paul, who was usually already wide awake and half-dressed by the time the others got up, had been putting off the inevitable. He'd been up late as well, reading over class notes by the glow of a book light. Johnny had come into the dorm around 1:30 a.m. Cloud knew because he'd been so anxious thinking about the upcoming exams he hadn't been able to sleep until around 3.

"Lou, get your fat ass out of bed," Paul called up to Cloud's bunkmate.

"No, I don't wanna," he groaned in protest as he pushed his face deeper into his pillow. "It's not fair that we have to follow regular morning routine when we have exams to worry about it," he spoke, his voice muffled.

Johnny sat up then, moving his legs over the side of the bunk. He put his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes.

"What time'd you get in?" Paul asked as he was doing up his uniform pants.

"I dunno, late," Johnny answered tiredly.

"Were you finishing your hours?" Paul questioned then as he pulled a shirt from his dresser.

"No. Finished them Sunday," Johnny replied before lowering himself from his bunk to the floor.

"So, what then?"

Johnny didn't answer until he'd gotten his pants on. He sat on the edge of Paul's bunk to put on his boots. "Went to see some people," he said at last.

"Friends?"

"No," Johnny said with a snort. He stood up then, grabbing a shirt and slinging it over his shoulder before heading away in the direction of the bathroom. Paul looked at Cloud and shrugged.

Lou attempted to get down from his bunk then, getting tangled slightly in the sheets and nearly throwing himself headfirst into Paul and Johnny's bunks. Both Cloud and Paul, as well as a few other cadets laughed aloud at him.

"Nice one," someone nearby remarked.

Lou sighed as he shoved his bedding back onto his mattress angrily. "The next two weeks are gonna suck, I know it," he muttered to himself.

By the end of the first week, it was clear that Lou was right in his prediction. Each exam was long and tedious, most being around 3 or 4 hours. Most of the cadets had never been so miserable. It was after all the week of academic exams and while there were those who thrived in academics, it wasn't exactly like boys sought out the SOLDIER program because they were gifted academically. It was a general consensus that cadets were looking forward to the non-academic practical exams. Not that the continuous tension and anxiety got any lighter once the second half of the exams arrived.

As the first week of midterms slowly bled into the second, the constant stress was wearing away at the boys. By the time the last practical exam rolled around, nearly all of them were exhausted and on edge. On the morning of the final day, just as the exam mornings before it, the hall outside the dorms was packed with boys all trying to push their way to a bulletin board where they would find out where and when their last exam would occur.

Cloud and 7 other cadets had been assigned a mission to secure and explore a building that had been designed and set up specifically for testing. They were instructed to avoid all motion detectors and given a list of several objectives. Split into pairs, they were each given an objective to complete in order to pass the exam. None of the cadets were really thrilled over the prospect that they could fail the exam because their partner screwed up. Cloud was paired up with a cadet named Baldwin. He didn't know him very well but there were worse cadets to be paired with.

"Alright gentlemen!" one of the testing officers, Dixon, spoke up loudly. "Get your shit together. Make sure you understand your objective before you go waltzing in to the building. If you have any questions get them answered now!"

Cloud looked down at the objective paper he and Baldwin had been given. Their objective was to avoid detection while making their way to the back of the building where they would need to break into a highly sensitive safe and retrieve a set of blueprints.

"No questions?" Dixon spoke again. "Alright. You have 30 minutes to complete your objectives. Get it done. The exam begins now!"

With that said, the cadets began moving into the building. Avoiding the motion detectors was simple enough. Especially when they only needed to avoid three before one of the teams of cadets shut down the detection system. Finding the safe, however, was not as easy as Cloud had imagined. The building had been outfitted with a substantial number of partitions set up to create a maze of narrow hallways.

"This is fucking stupid," Baldwin commented as he and Cloud began navigating the halls. "We won't even make it to the safe before the time is up."

He was right, Cloud realized as he took note of the time. They'd lost ten minutes already. Rule of thumb was to aim to complete a task in any given situation in half the time given because you never knew what you'd be faced with on the way out of the situation. That gave them five minutes to find the safe and crack it. It wasn't going to happen. He glanced down at the floor as he was following behind Baldwin. He stopped as he noticed something.

"Strife, what the hell are you stopping for?" Baldwin questioned in irritation. Not responding, Cloud crouched down. There was a narrow gap between the floor and partition panels, just big enough that he could probably get through. "What the fuck are you doing?" Baldwin spoke again. "We're wasting time!"

"Follow me," Cloud instructed, ignoring his comments and lowering himself onto his stomach. He began pulling himself across the cement floor in a straight line toward the back of the building. Baldwin caught on immediately as he followed behind.

"Nice one," he commented. "Though it's still gonna take for-fuckin'-ever to get to the safe."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "Better than the way we were going," he replied.

It really only took them about two minutes to get their way clear of the maze. Following that, they made their way past a line of what looked like either water or hydrogen tanks. There, staring at them from the back wall was the safe.

"I got it," Cloud said as he pushed past Baldwin to get to the safe. He sifted out his tools from inside his pocket. Something he'd discovered in class was that he was quite good at picking locks. He had no problem visualizing the inside of whatever he was breaking into and all its parts, making it easy to manipulate them. He was able to break open the steel safe easily.

With blueprints in hand, he rose to a stand as he looked down at them. Baldwin grabbed them from him hastily.

"Finally! Let's get the fuck out of here," he commented as he turned and kicked the safe door shut. Cloud winced at the action, not having enough time to voice a warning. The force of the door shutting set off a sensitivity mechanism that activated a grid of motion detectors across the floor for the next fifty feet.

"Great," Cloud muttered, crouching to examine the height of the laser grid from the floor. "This should be fun," he commented sarcastically. They only had about 12 minutes to exit the building.

Baldwin stopped him. "Screw that! We're not going through that!" he protested.

"Uh, we kinda have to," Cloud pointed out.

"No way," Baldwin refused as he looked around, focusing on a place near the back left corner where there sat a control consol about three feet high. The only indication that it was in operation was a small green light on the front of it. "I'll bet if we disable that consol the grid will go vamoose."

"I dunno, Baldwin—" Cloud began, turning to watch him rush over to the consol. Cloud followed after him slowly, halting about 6 feet away.

"C'mon Strife, you got no guts," Baldwin mocked as he set down some of his gear and reached to remove the front panel of the consol.

_I have a bad feeling about this…_Cloud thought as he watched. He felt like there was something he should be remembering. Suddenly, it hit him. He remembered back to his Technics lessons. _Always check for a primary disable wire before attempting to shut down a reactor or security device. _Chances were that the consol had a self-destruct that would be activated when the front panel was removed before the primary wire being cut. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks as Baldwin's fingers pulled at the panel on the consol.

"NO, DON'T!" was all he managed to shout out before the consol erupted. One of the small tanks nearby was hit with a piece of shrapnel and exploded upon impact, revealing that it was in fact a hydrogen tank. All Cloud felt then was a blast of incredible heat and an immense force that threw him into the back wall where he hit so hard he felt his body armor crack and the wall giving way. He fell to the floor face first and part of the wall came after him, more specifically a slab that was equipped with a row of long steel pegs used as guards to hold stocks of aluminum siding in place. He covered his head with his hands instinctively and though he was lucky he wasn't quite lucky enough as one of the pegs came down on the back of his right thigh so forcefully it went straight through to the cement floor under him. At first he had no idea what had hit him. All he felt was a rush of hot pain in his leg and a slight pressure. His first thought was that he'd ripped open the stitches in his thigh but dismissed that idea as he remembered it was his left leg that had been injured previously, not his right. As the shocks of the explosion died out and the debris began to settle, there came the first sounds of his fellow cadets. Groans, curses, and coughs echoed out quietly at first but were gaining in volume soon enough.

"What the fuck just happened?" one of them spoke as he lifted himself from the floor.

"Who was the genius this time?" another asked through a string of choking coughs.

"Fuck, let's get the hell out of here," a third suggested.

Cloud tried to lift himself and it was then he realized something wasn't right. He realized suddenly that he was nearly completely buried in slabs of broken sheetrock and debris. When he began to move, fiery pain shot up and down his right leg and all the way up his back. _Oh shit_, he thought to himself as he realized he had actually been hurt. "Hey!" he tried calling out but he knew the others probably couldn't hear him. He could hear them headed for the way out, throwing and kicking debris noisily out of their way as they went. The pressure on his back was starting to get a little too hard to breathe through. He tried pushing some of the debris out of the way but couldn't reach around far enough to push off what was pressing against his back. Before long, he felt himself sinking into the floor and knew right then he was going to pass out any second.


	8. Chapter 7

_Hey everyone. I'm such a liar. I said this would be out a long time ago. I ran into a bunch of stuff I needed to finish for school and work and THEN when I was all ready to submit, I decided the chapter wasn't finished and decided to make it a few pages longer. So sorry for the wait. I'll confess I've been getting excited over the final chapters of _Reduced to Specimens, _so I may have been working on that a little more often than this. But I won't forget this story, I promise lol. _

_Also, I appologize for any continuity errors you spot in this. For some reason I was dumb when I wrote the first draft and had it as if Cloud was working his way through the exams into the second semester at the Academy and not the second half of the FIRST semester. I think I fixed all the errors but if I missed any, please point them out and I'll make the corrections when I get the chance. _

_Thanks guys! _

_Disclaimer: No own FFVII_

Chapter VII

About a mile away, at one of the other testing sites, a group of cadets and their exam administrators turned suddenly as the sound of an explosion caught their attention. There was silence among the group for a moment before one cadet spoke up.

"Uh oh, someone fucked up."

The other cadets laughed but the officers were nowhere near as amused. Zack was one of them.

"Goddammit," his coworker, Nico, muttered under his breath as he turned toward one of the nearby Humvees. Zack stopped him.

"I'll go," he stated firmly. "Continue with the examination," he added before making his way to the vehicle. He sped off toward the now burning test site down the road, coming to an abrupt stop near the small group of cadets and the two officers standing outside of the building.

"Sir," the one second class officer acknowledged him formally as he approached. The other was a first class. He was busy taking attendance.

"What happened? Everyone okay, Dixon?" Zack asked the officer as he made his way over to him.

"No one knows. The blast came from the back of the building. There are two cadets not accounted for," the first class answered him in a tone that was a cross between anger and dread.

"Who are the cadets?" Zack inquired, feeling a knot tightening in the pit of his stomach. He hated the thought the missing cadets may be critically injured, or worse. Officer Dixon looked over the top sheet on his clipboard.

"Cadet Baldwin," he announced, "and Cadet…Strife."

"What?" Zack responded fast. He had heard Dixon just fine but he was shocked. Without a moment's hesitation, he bounded toward the building's doors.

"Fair! Hey!" Dixon shouted after him. "Zack, you can't go in there!"

Zack ignored his shouts and entered the building, a haze of smoke greeting him immediately. He coughed roughly as he took his first breath of the clouded air. There was an odd smell to it. He suspected it was an odor being given off by something like plastic burning. That raised an immediate red flag. No matter what, he didn't want to be breathing in those chemicals being released into the air for too long.

He began making his way to the back of the building as quickly as he could without tripping over the debris strewn across the area. It was too dark to see more than a few feet ahead of him, with the only light sources coming from the small fires around him. He called out to the missing cadets as he went.

Halfway into the building, he was confronted with a barrier, a hoard of partitions that had collapsed upon one another and lay in his way. He contemplated moving them out of the way as he went. They weren't as heavy as they looked, but he knew it would be faster to climb over them. Past that, the real destruction became apparent. The explosion had torn through the roof. Several I-beams had been displaced and fallen to the concrete floor, as well as sheets of the metal roofing material. On the bright side, the gaping hole above him provided him with more light, though the smoke did much to blot it out.

A large fire was still burning inside the remnants of the hydrogen tank it had erupted from. Zack could see now it was the source of the explosion. Next to it was a water tank. It had been penetrated by a piece of shrapnel and was leaking water out onto the floor. Several severed electrical wires were swinging slightly over the large puddle, just close enough to make contact.

"Keeping the hell away from there," Zack muttered as he pushed his way through more debris to get closer to the back of the building. The debris was thicker around that area. Most of the inner walls of the building had been crushed by the explosion and lay in chunks on the floor. The heat was stifling, and the smell of burning plastic overwhelming. He tried to take only necessary breaths. As he made his way around a few pieces of twisted metal hanging from the ceiling he spotted one of the cadets. It was Baldwin.

Even from a distance Zack could see he was in bad shape. He tried not to let his grim suspicions push to the forefront of his mind but as he lowered himself next to the cadet's body he knew even before checking for one that the boy had no pulse. "_Shit_," Zack whispered as he stared down at the cadet. Casualties in the SOLDIER training program were rare but they did happen, usually because of someone making some stupid mistake which was undoubtedly the reason this time. The support structure of the building whined loudly overhead, drawing Zack back to his mission. "Cloud!" he called out loudly, straining his eyes in the near darkness, trying to locate the missing cadet. At last, he spotted him.

Cloud was just barely visible under the pieces of what was left of the back wall. There were panels of aluminum and bits of twisted plastic all over. Only Cloud's left arm and shoulder were uncovered fully. Zack moved cautiously, pulling the debris off him, not knowing yet what his condition was. When he had uncovered his head, he knelt down next to him and put a hand to his neck to check his pulse. The one side of his face that he could see was scratched up in a few places, but not badly, the blood already hardening against his skin. Relief rushed through him when he felt a pulse. "Strife!" he called to him. "Come on, kid, open your eyes!" he urged as he squeezed his arm gently. Slowly, Cloud's lids lifted and he looked up at Zack tiredly. Zack smiled wide. "Hey, whatdoya think this is? Naptime?" he joked.

"Sorry, sir…" Cloud mumbled almost incoherently.

"Just hang on a minute while I get this crap out of the way alright? You're gonna be fine," he assured him as he stood and began lifting the broken slabs of plastered jip rock off him. When it came to the final slab, the largest of the bunch, he curled his fingers around the one edge of it and began to pull back. He stopped dead when Cloud released a startled cry of pain. "What?! What is it?!" he questioned frantically.

"My leg!" he responded fast, struggling to try and see what it was that had caused him the sudden agony. Zack knelt down and slid his arm up under the slab, trying to feel around for what it was that was hurting Cloud. His eyes widened when his fingers touched the rusted metal that was imbedded in his leg.

"Damn," he exclaimed softly, knowing that he was faced with a big problem. He had no way of being able to tell if the long metal peg had struck his artery or not. If it had, it was the only thing preventing him from bleeding to death in mere moments. He struggled with what to do. The building continued to groan and whine, threatening to fall in on itself with each passing minute. Each time a beam shifted above there came a shower of dust and small debris. "We gotta get out of here before this place decides to come down on us," he said to Cloud who was trying to maintain steady breathing.

"Sir," Cloud spoke then, drawing Zack back over to where he could see him. "You should get out…before it's too late." The first class officer raised his eyebrows at Cloud's statement.

"Well, you should know better than to give orders to a commanding officer, cadet," Zack responded in mild amusement.

"It was really more of a suggestion than an order, sir," Cloud tried to clarify.

"Well, suggestion duly noted," Zack commented as he gazed around the area. "Hang tight, kid, I'll be right back," he said then as his eyes fixed on a closed door a few yards away. It was the supply room. Gripping the doorknob, he turned and pushed on the door. It wasn't locked. I just wouldn't open. The explosion would have increased the pressure around its frame. He threw his shoulder against it lightly, not wanting to disturb the weakening building anymore than he had to. When that didn't work he sighed in defeat, taking a few steps back. He gathered his strength and kicked the door. It shot open and there was a loud moan from the building as more dust and crumbling drywall rained down. He entered the room quickly, searching for what he hoped he would find. At the bottom of a locker cabinet he found what he was looking for. He smiled in triumph as he pulled the dusty black and red toolkit from the locker and clicked it open. Grabbing the whole handful of screwdrivers that were there, he turned and left the kit behind.

There was a loud creaking coming from outside the room. His stomach clenched when he heard something large and heavy hit the floor. Racing from the room he looked in Cloud's direction but couldn't spot him from the thick barrier of dust and smoke. "CLOUD!" he shouted out anxiously, fearing he had just been hit. He heard muffled coughing as he approached. As the dust began to settle he could see that the support beam that had fallen from the ceiling had landed to the other side of him, missing him by mere feet.

"You alright?" he asked when he'd reached him, covering his face with his arm to block out some of the dust. Cloud nodded. "Okay, hang on, I'm getting you out of here," he assured him. He left him momentarily to find a slab of wall with another peg in it. It didn't take him long. The long pegs had been screwed into the wall every 3 feet or so. Inspecting the heads of the screws, he sorted through the screw drivers in his hand for the one that fit it. He planted himself next to Cloud once again. "Okay, kid, I gotta lift this crap a bit to get under it, you ready?"

"Yes, sir," he spoke with a firm nod.

Slowly, Zack began lifting the slab with his one hand while reaching under with the screwdriver in the other. Cloud held back his urge to cry out as he felt the steel peg pulling out of his flesh a few centimeters. Satisfied that there was enough room to work, Zack began searching for the first screw head. He ran his index finger along the area until he felt it. In no way was it an easy task to unscrew that peg. The screwdriver slipped from its target more than once, prompting more cursing from Zack. One by one, he managed to achieve his goal and the peg was released from the jip rock. Zack abandoned the screw driver then before attempting once again to pull the slab away from Cloud. In one strong pull he was able to free the cadet.

"You okay?" he asked as he crouched next to Cloud, taking his one arm and helping him turn over. Cloud nodded as he coughed into his shirt. "Are you hurt anywhere else?" Zack asked next.

"I don't think so," Cloud replied weakly.

"Good, let's get out of here, shall we?" Zack said as he rose to a stand and reached down to help Cloud to his feet.

"What about Baldwin?" Cloud inquired then as they began their slow trek to the exit. Zack had purposely been shielding the other cadet's body from view.

"Don't worry about him," Zack replied tightly, hoping that Cloud wouldn't press the issue further.

"We're going to get kicked out of the Academy, aren't we," Cloud asked meekly. Zack laughed lightly.

"Believe it or not, kid, we do have accidents here and unless you purposely blew the place up I wouldn't be worrying too much about it," he said reassuringly.

They emerged from the building just as fire crews were readying themselves to enter. "He needs medical attention," Zack spoke to one of the Shinra paramedics who approached them.

"And you, sir?" the paramedic inquired.

"No, I'm fine. Just take care of him," he said, allowing the paramedics to take over and help Cloud over to one of the medical vehicles. Dixon shook his head as Zack approached him.

"Always trying to be the hero," the officer said with a tight smile. "You sure you're alright?" he questioned, watching him rubbing his head.

"Yeah," Zack assured him, nodding. "Just a headache. There were some pretty nasty smelling chemicals being burned off in there," he explained.

"You should go to the infirmary and get checked out," Dixon suggested. Zack threw a look at him and Dixon took the hint. "Yeah sure, whatever. If you die from chemical poisoning it's your own fault."

"I know," Zack said with a smirk as he watched the fire crews starting to work on getting the blaze put out.

"You couldn't find Baldwin?" Dixon asked uneasily.

"Yeah, I found him," Zack replied sullenly without looking at his fellow officer.

"I see," Dixon said quietly after a brief moment of silence. "I'll let the paramedics know."

He patted Zack on the back before making his way over to the second team of medical staff on the site.

000

"Quite the bit of bad luck you've had lately, Cadet Strife," the admissions officer mused as he was looking over Cloud's medical file. Cloud had been fidgeting with a piece of thread that had come loose from the hem of his uniform shirt. "Fortunately you did well enough on your other exams that your admission to the second half of the first semester of the recruiting program was not hindered by your final practical test."

Cloud smiled at the thought. He had passed another obstacle. He was one step closer to becoming a SOLDIER.

"Unfortunately, the injury you sustained during your test will affect your training abilities," the admissions officer continued, stealing any vestige of happiness Cloud had been feeling at the moment. "I understand you've been ordered to undergo physiotherapy for at least six weeks—"

"Sir," Cloud cut the officer off. "I'm sorry to interrupt you but this isn't going to stop me, sir. And the doctor assured me there would be no permanent damage. I will still make a good SOLDIER one day, sir."

The officer was silent a few moments as he appeared to be thinking. He sighed finally and picked up his pen off the table before writing something down inside the file folder he'd brought in with him.

"Alright," he said. "It is due to your genuine interest in being part of the SOLDIER Program, as well as the encouraging comments your instructors have provided, that you will be allowed to continue on in the first semester of the Initiate Program. Hopefully, there are no more incidents that interrupt your progress.

"Yes, sir," Cloud agreed, trying not to sound too eager. He could have danced for joy had he A) not been sure it would be highly inappropriate, and B) actually been able to dance. It was something he felt no one should have to witness.

It had been just under a week since his final exam. Despite the fact his thigh had been impaled with a piece of steel, there was minimal damage. He was not prescribed physiotherapy because he had trouble using his leg. It was because of the pain. The doctor thought it necessary he have muscular and ultrasound therapy, which were essentially massages and acupuncture. It was ridiculous in his mind, but he had no authority to argue it.

He hadn't known about Baldwin's death until three days after the test when he received word there was going to be a memorial held for him in one of the community halls. He felt guilty. He knew his reasons weren't enough that he should blame himself but he did. If he had been faster to warn Baldwin of the chance that power consol could erupt maybe he'd still be alive.

He didn't go to the memorial. He didn't feel right about it. He hadn't even really known the guy and he doubted he'd feel welcome. He knew some of Baldwin's friend's were pissed at him. He couldn't really blame them. He was sure he'd be angry if he were one of them. Now, five days after the whole thing had gone down, he wasn't sure he was ever going to fully get over it.

"So they're letting you stay in the program," Paul said to him when they were in the dorm later that night. "That's good news at least." Paul, Johnny, and Lou had all passed their exams, granting them admission to the second half of the semester. But there were many cadets who'd failed. The dorms shrank in size to about 25 cadets a piece.

"Yeah," Cloud agreed, happy, though afraid to really show it given the circumstances.

"It's not your fault you know," Paul pointed out, though he hadn't been the first one. Cloud said nothing. He wasn't about to agree and he certainly didn't want to try to express his reasons why.

"Yeah, it's the guy's own fault he was such a dumbass," Lou called down from his bunk.

"Watch it, Lou, he may have friends in here," Paul berated him and glanced around to see if anyone was throwing glares their way.

"So what?" Lou countered. "What're they gonna do about it?"

"Kick your ass?" Paul suggested.

"I'll fight every one of 'em. And I'll win too," Lou stated confidently. Johnny released a short laugh from his own bunk.

"You got somethin' you wanna say, Six?" Lou called over to him. "You wanna go for a round?"

"With you?" Johnny inquired without looking away from the book he was holding. "That'd be a waste of 60 seconds."

"Don't be so sure," Paul spoke up. "Lou, here, used to play football. And apparently was one of the best defense-men on the team," he explained while rolling his eyes. Clearly it was a speech originally given by Lou himself.

"So what you're saying is he's an expert at grabbing other guys' asses?" Johnny asked casually.

"Fuck you, Six, that's not what football is!" Lou threw back at him loudly.

Johnny scoffed. "Coulda fooled me."

"I'll take you on anytime, any day!" Lou declared as he jumped off his bunk.

"Sorry, Lou, I don't do pie-eating contests," Johnny replied, smirking at his own comment.

With that said, Lou went for Johnny, aiming to hit him in the gut but Johnny scooted back from him fast, laughing at Lou as he continued to try and pummel him. It only served to frustrate Lou more. Paul glanced up at the underside of Johnny's bunk nervously as it creaked. He pulled himself off his own bunk and moved away.

"I'm gonna get something to drink," he said to Cloud as he glanced back at the other two guys. "You want anything?" he asked.

"No, thanks," Cloud said back. He watched Paul walk away before turning back to the text book he was flipping through. He was happy that the attention had shifted from him once again. He'd had enough of it in the past few days. Enough to last him a lifetime.

The next morning, the cadets stood on the field awaiting some remarks from their dorm officer before their exercises were to begin. It was a cold morning. Cold enough for snow though the sky looked desperate to dump some rain instead. Tanner approached them at last, standing next to Sigg.

"Two weeks from now is the Dorm Challenge," he began. "For those of you who don't know what that is, let me enlighten you. It's an all-day competition between dorms for several titles: Most-Fit, Most-Organized, Best-Endurance, and Best-Agility. Naturally, how all of you do will reflect on me. So _don't _fuck it up. Morning routines are going to be harder until then, with example challenges you may be faced with during the day of competition. It's meant to be somewhat fun, so don't get too down about it."

Cloud was sure he was thinking what most were. That Tanner was making it seem more like Hell than fun.

"Let's get started," Tanner said, indicating he'd finished his speech. Sigg began yelling almost immediately, ordering them to begin their usual laps around the track.

Cloud did poorly that morning. Worse than poorly. It was pretty much a disaster. He'd been able to manage the few days before because the work-outs had been lighter and the driller less-motivated to drive them into the ground. Today he was lacking the strength and endurance to be able to perform at par. He was relieved to see that a few others were falling behind just as he was. He knew that he and the others had not gone unnoticed. Sigg may not have said much to them during their exercises but he certainly noticed. That became clear when the cadets were lined up in formation at the end of their last drill for closing remarks.

"Myers, Lewis, Strife, get up here now and give me thirty-five push-ups!" Sigg shouted somewhat unexpectedly to the rest of the group. Cloud obeyed immediately, moving his way to the front and lowering himself to the ground.

The driller looked on for about a minute before continuing his verbal onslaught. "How you three losers managed to pass the mid-terms is beyond me!" Sigg went on. "You're the slowest bunch of pussies to come through here!"

Myers and Lewis were drawing close to the end of their assigned push-ups. Cloud had fallen behind right from the beginning. He was exhausted, his muscles sore and rubbery, his head pounding and his legs aching. He felt sick to his stomach from all the exercise he'd had while under the influence of the pain killers he'd been given. The rain had begun to pour harder during the last half of their drills so the ground was mush. His hands and feet slipped in it as he tried to keep the momentum of his body going.

"Strife, what in the hell are you doing?!" Sigg questioned loudly. Cloud didn't bother to answer. He knew there was no appropriate response he could give. "You really are pathetic you know that?" the driller mocked. "What does your father think of such a pathetic case as you, Strife?!"

Cloud didn't respond. He didn't know how to respond, or if Sigg even wanted a response. He was just nearing the thirty-fifth push-up.

"Did you hear me, Strife?!" the driller yelled down at him at little louder. "Keep going!" he added harshly, seeing Cloud was about finished.

"Yes, sir," he called up gruffly. Despite the icy rain drenching him he was sweating from every pore. His arms were trembling as he continued to force himself up and down for Sigg's never-ending punishment.

"Then answer me, goddamit!" the driller nearly screamed.

"I…I don't know what he thinks," Cloud stammered. He couldn't believe the topic had even come up.

"And why's that?" came the next question. He was taking in air in pants. Some of his soaked wet hair was sticking to his face around his eyes. He wished to God he could move it out of the way. His body burned all over from the continuous strain he was being put through. _The question_, he reminded himself. _Answer his question. _

"Because…because I never knew him," he replied truthfully.

"Never knew him?" Sigg echoed him. "Did he die, cadet Strife?"

"No, sir…" Cloud barely breathed out, shifting himself to stay in position as his feet were slipping for the tenth time in the mud below him.

"Then what happened to him?"

Cloud paused mid push-up but he was forced to continue when Sigg screamed at him, "Did I tell you to stop?! No! Now answer my damn question!"

"H-he left my mother and I, sir," he managed to stumble out. There was a momentary silence as Sigg continued to pace in a circle around him. The tension was heavy amongst the cadets standing in formation. Paul and Johnny exchanged glances. Paul hadn't known that fact about Cloud, though Johnny had suspected as much from the conversation he'd had with Cloud that one night in one of the locker rooms.

"Is that right?" the driller questioned. He stopped walking and crouched next to Cloud. "We'll you know why he left, Strife?"

"No, sir," Cloud uttered barely audibly, thinking about what he'd give to be invisible at that moment.

"Because you're a _failure_," Sigg stated firmly. The words hit Cloud hard. He felt weaker almost instantly and thought right then his arms were going to give out on him. "A failure," Sigg repeated. "Always were. Always will be." Instead of feeling angry, like he knew he should feel, Cloud felt shame. "Say it, Strife," Sigg ordered then. He lifted a booted foot and set it down on the middle of Cloud's back. Cloud groaned aloud. He ceased all movement again as he struggled to keep his elbows from buckling. He was barely holding himself up. His shoulder joints had gone numb. "Say it!" Sigg repeated then, his voice back to shouting level, he pressed his heel harder into Cloud's spine.

Tears built up in Cloud's eyes suddenly then. He was thankful that the rain masked them.

"I…I'ma failure, sir," he said quietly. He wasn't sure why he had, if it was just to get Sigg to leave him alone or if he actually believed it somewhat.

"I can't hear you, cadet!" the driller shouted.

"I'm a failure, sir!" he declared as loudly as his exhausted lungs would permit.

"Yes, you are," Sigg agreed before pressing his foot down just hard enough for Cloud's arms to give out and find him lying in the mud below him.

At that moment, Johnny stepped out of formation. Sigg noticed him immediately. He stepped away from Cloud and marched up in front of Johnny in a flash of anger. "You got a problem, Six!" he screamed into Johnny's face.

"Yes, sir, I do!" Johnny shouted back at near equal volume. Sigg's face reddened with increased fury.

"Really?" the driller questioned rhetorically. "Well get over it!" he ordered. At the same time he delivered a hard shove to Johnny, pushing him back in line. He turned away from him, back to Cloud, who was raising himself onto his hands and knees.

As Sigg turned his back on the line, Johnny stepped out again, this time grabbing hold of Sigg's right shoulder and pulling it around so the driller was forced to face him. He never gave the man a chance to say anything else as he drew his right fist back and let it fly, directly into the left side of Sigg's face.


	9. Chapter 8

_Hey everyone, gots nothin' much to say besides thanks for all your reviews and hope you enjoy this chapter!_

_Cheers!_

_Disclaimer: No own FFVII_

Chapter VIII

There was an eerie moment after Johnny had punched Sigg when the only sounds anyone could hear came from the pouring rain. Sigg seemed to be slightly in shock. He was a large man so the blow hadn't knocked him over but it had been hard enough that it would leave some heavy bruising on his face, the area on his cheek already red and blotchy. He turned himself back to face Johnny, the cadet standing tall and challengingly. No one could mistake the reservoir of rage in the driller that was about to erupt. His actions came like a tidal wave.

"You're dead, you little son of a bitch!" Sigg screamed as he grabbed for Johnny's shirt. A power struggle began as the driller tried to push Johnny down but the cadet resisted and pushed back. It was a short-lived battle as Sigg was much larger and many years more experienced. He moved behind Johnny and kicked at the back of his right knee until it gave out and Johnny dropped to the ground.

Not one of the other cadets moved. All were too shocked to consider stepping in. Paul had left the field the moment Johnny had hit their driller, knowing that things would quickly escalate from there. He raced toward the locker rooms, looking for their dorm officer. As he entered the locker area he nearly collided with several cadets.

"Officer Tanner!" he called out, pushing his way through the busy room.

"Hey, what's wrong?" a voice questioned him as a hand fell upon his one shoulder and halted him in his tracks. He turned to face Dorm D's officer, Zack.

"There's been an altercation on the field, sir, between a cadet and the driller," he explained quickly. "I think there's going to be a fi—"

He didn't get the chance to finish as Zack pushed passed him fast and moved for the exit to the field. Tanner appeared at the same time with a questioning look.

"What's going on?" he asked Paul who led him back to the field after Zack.

On the field, Sigg had been struggling to pin Johnny down on his back. They'd been engaged in a short and messy fight roughly resembling a wrestling match. But it was over now, as Sigg was finally able to hold Johnny down, his left arm pressed across Johnny's neck, restricting his air intake. Johnny continued his struggle, his heels digging into the muddy ground as he tried to push himself out from under the driller, his hands gripping and pulling at Sigg's arm.

"Sir," one of the cadets spoke uneasily. Sigg turned his face toward the one who'd spoken.

"Don't you fucking move!" the driller ordered threateningly. "Not one of you!"

Johnny's movements grew more frantic as it became clear he wasn't able to breathe anymore. He slapped on the drillers back with his left hand, trying to let him know but Sigg refused to let up. He was too determined to win the fight, not willing to give in until Johnny stopped struggling against him. No one knew what to do. Most couldn't believe what they were seeing. They were too unsure or afraid to step in. But eventually someone made a move.

Cloud came up behind the driller quickly, thrusting his arms under Sigg's, and grasping the driller's shoulders as he struggled to pull him back and away from Johnny. It took all the strength he had left in his aching body. But now Sigg's attention was directed back at him. The driller turned toward him and grabbed hold of the front of his shirt. He thought he could hear someone calling out from nearby but he couldn't be sure.

"That's it, Strife!" Sigg shouted at him before drawing his right fist back. Cloud turned his head and waited to feel the driller's fist run into him. But it didn't happen. There was a loud, bellowed 'HEY!' and the sound of flesh hitting flesh. He opened his eyes and saw Sigg's fist was trapped inside of another's. Zack's.

"What in the hell are you doing?!" Zack shouted as he grabbed hold of Sigg with his other hand and pulled him away from Cloud, placing himself between them.

"You, stay out of this!" Sigg yelled back in fury.

"Watch your mouth!" Zack fired back at him. "Last time I checked you were an unranked officer so unless you wanna go in front of the Senior Disciplinary Board I suggest you answer my damn questions!" Sigg shut up then, though he was still seething. "Did you do something to this cadet?" Zack inquired then as he looked down at Johnny who was still on the ground, rubbing his neck and taking in some deep breaths. Tanner and Paul had arrived on the field by then.

"Did I do something to _him_? Cadet Six has got some authority issues. He had the nerve to strike an officer!" Sigg claimed.

"Really?" Zack replied, glancing back and forth between Johnny and Sigg. "And that gives you the right to strike Cadet Strife? Frankly, I'm confused. Tanner, take your cadet into detention while I figure out what the hell happened here," he instructed as he gestured to Johnny. "And you," Zack continued, turning back to Sigg. "You'll be hearing about this shortly. In the meantime I suggest you take another look at your protocol manual." It was obvious that Sigg was biting back the urge to talk back. "You're all dismissed!" Zack shouted over the rain then. The cadets departed swiftly, eager to get away from the awkward position they'd been in.

"C'mon, Six," Tanner said to Johnny as he waited for him to get to his feet. He led him back toward the building to get dried off before being taken into detention. Sigg left the field as well, audibly cursing as he walked off. Only Zack, Cloud, and Paul remained on the field. Cloud turned to leave as well but Zack attempted to stop him, grabbing onto his one arm.

"Don't!" Cloud shouted as he swung around to face Zack. Before he could say anything, Cloud slammed him verbally. "Why do you have to keep showing up trying to be a hero?!"

"Hey, I was only tryin' to help you out, Cloud, would you rather I let him hit you?" Zack defended, shocked at the cadet's reaction.

"I don't want your help!" he fired back. "I don't _need_ your help!" He stared at Zack hard, pushing some of his hair from his eyes angrily. "I don't need _anyone's _help," he said a little softer before turning to walk away.

Zack looked at Paul. "You gonna let me in on what just happened out here?" he asked as he ran his hands through his wet hair, drawing it back from his face. Paul looked up at him and nodded. Sighing, Zack said "Come on, let's get out of this crap."

After the drama that had occurred that morning on the field, Cloud was tempted to skip his classes. He felt exhausted, physically and mentally, and the nagging feeling of sickness in the pit of his stomach just wouldn't leave. He wondered just what sort of punishment one would be given for skipping classes. His ponderings were basically pointless as he knew he'd inevitably drag himself down to where he was expected to be. He didn't know what to think of the events of the morning. Everything had happened rather quickly. His head was spinning with thoughts and replays. What had happened on the field wasn't going to just fade into the background and never be thought of again. He hated that fact. So much had happened in only a week and those things had changed him. And not in a good way. In fact, if a bus had been leaving from the Academy to Nibelheim that morning he may just have gotten on it.

Decisions regarding himself and Johnny were made almost immediately that day. There would be no punishment given to Cloud for "challenging an officer's authority" when he'd pulled the driller away from Johnny on the field. Johnny, of course, received another hundred hours of probation as well as a warning that it was his last chance. Any more indiscretions or acts against authority and he'd be kicked out of the program. Beyond that, he was ordered to see an Academy counselor once a week for an hour. It wasn't known, at least by the cadets, just what happened to Sigg. The following morning on the field there had been a different driller waiting for them. If anyone was upset about it, they kept their opinions to themselves.

Cloud had awoken that morning with feelings of guilt hanging over his head. Guilt spawning from several things, but mostly from the way he'd treated Zack. He was angry at himself for having the nerve to yell at him, especially when the officer had done so much for him. Hell, he may not have survived his botched final mid-term exam if it weren't for him. He knew in any normal circumstance he would have been chastised for the way he'd spoken to the commanding officer, but this was Zack. He wasn't an orthodox SOLDIER. Still, Cloud felt he needed to atone for what he'd done.

He had a short break between his third and fourth class and decided to use that time to track Zack down. It was likely the officer was working so he wasn't expecting much out of his search. He made his way to the personal quarters wing of the main facility, stopping at a directory booth for assistance. He waited somewhat impatiently for the directory receptionist to finish with her phone call. He only had a little over half an hour before his next class. He tried not to seem too impatient though as he stood in front of the booth, glancing back and forth between the receptionist and the clock behind her on the wall. Finally, she pressed a small button on her ear piece and turned her attention to him.

"What can I do for you?" she asked with a practiced smile.

"Uh, I need to know the room number of an officer," he spoke uneasily into the small hole cut in the glass in front of him. He wasn't entirely sure cadets were even allowed access to the officers' personal rooms. He hoped that at least Zack's would be accessible due to his position as a dorm officer. Dorm officers were supposed to be readily available to the cadets.

"Which officer?" the receptionist inquired.

"Officer Zack Fair," Cloud answered. The receptionist typed something into her computer.

"Room four-oh-eight," she said at last.

"Thank you," Cloud replied with a nod as he stepped away from the booth. He paused and turned back. "Uh, which floor, ma'am?"

"Fourth," the receptionist said with a slight chuckle. Cloud was confused as to what had been funny. He realized as he got on the elevator that the '4' in 408 was the indicator of the floor.

"Duh," he muttered to himself as the elevator ascended quickly. The doors opened after a moment and he stepped into a long hallway. It was wide and brightly lit but other than that, there was nothing special about the area. Not what he was expecting. He expected wherever first class officers lived to be pretty fancy-looking. He took note of the numbers on the doors as he passed them, coming to a stop outside room 408. The door was open just slightly and he could hear Zack's voice as he was talking to someone. Cloud debated leaving and coming back later but he wanted to get things cleared up right then or it would bother him all day. He didn't want to be caught just standing outside the door either so he found himself knocking hesitantly, hoping he wasn't interrupting anything important. Zack's voice grew a little louder as he drew closer on the other side of the door.

"I know, but what do they want us to do about it?" He sounded a little angry. Cloud regretted knocking then. "No, what they really want is for us to bend over and take it up the—" He paused his sentence abruptly as he opened the door and set eyes on Cloud. There was a mild look of surprise on his face before he smiled. "Uh, I'll call you back," he spoke into his phone before flipping it shut. "Cloud…hi," he greeted.

"Sir," Cloud said with a nod.

"Come on in," Zack offered, stepping aside and opening the door wider. Cloud looked in at the room. He was shocked at how disorderly it was. There were such stringent rules enforced in the dorms, he just assumed that they were still followed in the SOLDIER program.

"No," Cloud refused, looking down at the threshold like it was a barrier he was forbidden to cross. "Uh, I don't have much time before I have to go to class," he explained. Zack nodded before crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe.

"Alright," he said. "What's up?"

Cloud hesitated on what he wanted to say. "I-I wanted to apologize for yesterday, sir," he stuttered out.

"Yesterday…" Zack repeated, shaking his head slowly.

"The way I went off on you on the field," Cloud clarified.

"Oh," Zack said in understanding. "That's alright—"

"No," Cloud cut him off. "It was disrespectful. And I had no right."

Another smile found its way to Zack's face. "Okay. Well I understand why you were upset but I'll accept your apology."

"Thank you, sir," Cloud said softly, returning a small smile. He held his place in the doorway, shifting his eyes a little nervously.

"Is…there something else?" Zack questioned, one of his eyebrows arched inquisitively.

"Uhh…I feel somewhat responsible for what happened to Cadet Baldwin, sir," he blurted, surprising even himself a little. He hadn't meant to throw that at the officer. "A lot responsible actually."

Zack lowered his arms before turning away and taking a few steps into his room. Cloud watched him silently.

"Come here," Zack said levelly. Cloud kept his place at the door as he looked down the hall from which he'd come. He hesitated a moment more before stepping forward into the officer's room. He stood awkwardly before Zack took hold of his forearm and pulled him further into the room. "Have a seat," he ordered as he pushed Cloud down into a seated position on the side of the bed before grabbing the chair at the nearby desk and pulling it over to where he could sit opposite Cloud.

"It's not your fault," he said surely, trying to meet Cloud's averted eyes. "Why are you so determined to think it is?"

"Because…" Cloud began slowly. "Because I should have stopped him. If I had remembered faster, about the defense system on the consol, I could have warned him in time." He looked down once again at his hands resting on his knees.

"Maybe," Zack agreed. "But it was up to Baldwin to know the same information you do. It was his own absence of knowledge and bad judgment that resulted in the incident." Cloud didn't look any more comforted by that statement. "Look," he went on "the program is a serious one. It can be dangerous because you're tested with life-like situations. It gets even more dangerous in the SOLDIER program. Accidents happen. People get hurt. You can't let the 'what ifs' control you."

Cloud raised his eyes to meet Zack's. "He said I was a failure," he said lowly. Zack stared back at him in confusion.

"Who?" Zack inquired.

"Officer Sigg," Cloud clarified.

Zack exhaled forcefully. "Sigg's a jackass," he pointed out.

"Yeah…" Cloud agreed hesitantly. "But after what happened during the exams…I feel like he was right. I've been trying so hard to better myself but it barely seems good enough."

"Hey," Zack said softly, asking Cloud to look up at him. He did so reluctantly. "You're here aren't you?" the officer said. "It's not over 'til it's over. I really believe you have the potential to make it here. You just gotta hang in there, alright?"

Cloud nodded, giving him a weak smile. "I better go. I'm gonna be late," he said as he rose from the edge of the bed. Zack stood up as well. Cloud paused in the doorway before leaving, turning to face Zack again.

"Thank you, sir," he spoke softly, receiving a bright smile and farewell from the officer before leaving the room.

Cloud felt instantly better after talking to Zack, if only a little. It was enough. Enough to give him that boost he needed to keep himself focused and motivated. He immersed himself once again in his training and his classes. It wasn't easy. The admissions officer had pointed out that his new injury was going to affect his ability to train but he was determined to prove the man wrong. It was a difficult task. He pushed himself as far as the pain allowed. Eventually it would become too intense to ignore. The therapy helped. He'd been skeptical at first but after his first few sessions he noticed the improvement. He stopped taking the medication prescribed to him after just a week, for several reasons. He didn't want to become dependent on it for one. Two, he found it typically made him feel ill if he attempted to do any strenuous activity, and three, he'd been told that when it came time for final exams he would not be allowed to undergo testing while on the medication. He thought it better to just get it out of his life as quickly as possible.

With the reduction in the number of cadets after the midterms, things seemed to change. The boys grew closer to the cadets in their respective dorms or class groups. Mild rivalries began to pop up, rivalries that were going to be pushed further by new activities implemented. Just over a week since the exams finished, it was announced that there would be the opportunity for cadets from one class group to engage in battles with those from other class groups during scheduled times twice a week. This was similar to the battle opportunities offered to each group in their Combat and Weaponry classes but gave cadets the chance to fight opponents they weren't familiar with. Although the activity was classified as extra-curricular and wasn't mandatory, it was highly recommended that cadets attend and participate. There were strict rules enforced in the battles and they were carefully monitored but it was easy to see right from the beginning that conflicts were going to arise from them.

There were always the one's who took losses too seriously. After only the first round of fights, several cadets were holding grudges against one another. Cloud didn't intend to participate if he could help it. If someone challenged him he didn't really have a choice, but he knew just what could come from a grudge, as he'd learned when Weeks had taken a mock battle in class with him too far. He wasn't eager to get involved in something like that again. Weeks still shot him angry looks now and then but never spoke to him.

That didn't mean Cloud was free from torment. There were others who still picked on him. Taunted him verbally, or gave him a mild shove in the locker rooms. The worst of it came from two cadets named Steven Brice and Curtis Dolt. Brice and Dolt seemed to be trying to make a career out of insulting and annoying those around them. They were 'genuine assholes' as Lou had termed it the one day. They both came from families with money and both were incredibly arrogant. What was worse is that they weren't stupid. They were above average in the academic category and excelled greatly in anything physical or practical. They were favored by the instructors. And while everyone else seemed to hate them, they also had quite a few followers.

Cloud hadn't really been bothered by them during the first half of the semester. He didn't share a dorm with either of them but he shared a class group with Brice. With fewer students in the class, Brice's selection of who to pick on was narrowed. It actually wasn't until Cloud was paired with Brice for some exercises in their Fitness class that the bullying really began. Cloud wasn't doing his best due to his injury so he and Brice fell behind in their exercises. Brice didn't take it well. He mocked Cloud mercilessly in the locker room after class while the other cadets stood by and laughed. Cloud had left the locker room angry enough to punch something but refrained, telling himself it wasn't worth it.

He would improve and get to a place where others would be jealous of him yet again, excelling and gaining the respect of his instructors, making the rest of the cadets look merely average.

Besides all that, routine was setting in again after about a week and a half since the exams. There was no shortage of schoolwork handed out right away. The first round of tests in the second half of the semester was coming up shortly. Cloud sat on his bed in the dorm with a textbook on his lap, looking over the summery of the chapter he'd just gone through. It was almost lights-out, Paul was sitting across from him on his own bed folding clothes and rolling socks after coming back from doing some laundry. Lou bounded into the dorm, rushing toward them.

"I have just four words for you guys," he said happily as he tossed his books on his own bunk and sat down next to Cloud on his. "Off-campus rec time."

"Isn't that technically three words?" Paul asked as he continued to roll pairs of socks. "And where have you been? It's almost lights-out. You look like you just got out of class."

"Shuddup," Lou snapped. "I was in the library and we're you not listening? Starting this weekend we're going to be allotted four hours of recreation time anywhere we want within a thirty-mile radius of the Academy grounds!"

"You were in a library?" Cloud questioned with a smirk. Lou shot him a glare.

"Oh really?" Paul replied skeptically. "And who spun you this web of myth, Lou?"

"I'm serious, Instructor Seymore told us today," Lou assured him. "They'll probably announce it tomorrow."

Johnny arrived in the dorm then. He looked exhausted.

"Well if it isn't the janitor," Lou mocked.

"You're just in time," Paul spoke up. "Lou was just telling us all about how we're _supposedly _going to start getting off-campus recreational time this weekend."

"That's the word," Johnny agreed tiredly as he sat next to Paul and began undoing the laces on his boots.

"What? You mean you heard that too?" Paul asked fast, his excitement at the prospect sparking up.

"Yeah, 'cause I get to use the time to work," Johnny explained sullenly.

"Sorry, man," Paul said sympathetically. Johnny just shrugged, pulling his loosened boots off. He stood up and pulled his shirt off before grabbing a towel from his dresser. He walked off toward the showers silently. "I feel really bad for him," Paul spoke lowly after he'd departed.

"Hey last I checked, he punched Sigg out of his own free will," Lou commented.

Cloud lowered his eyes. He felt somewhat responsible for what Johnny had done. He knew it was irrational. He had no control over Johnny's actions but the guy had defended him. It just didn't seem right that he was being punished for it.

"Yeah, and then Sigg almost chokes him? That's fair," Paul challenged Lou's statement.

"He wouldn't have gone that far and how do you know anyway? You weren't even on the field at the time. Too busy ratting Sigg out."

Paul's mouth fell open in shock. "Are you serious?! Were you actually enjoying watching him pick on Cloud and Johnny? Do you like the way he treats us all like crap. Do _you _like being treated like that?"

There were a million more questions Paul could have fired at him but he stopped when Lou rolled his eyes and scoffed, leaning forward and getting up from Cloud's bunk.

"Look, you guys need to take a good look at the facts in front of you. First, Strife, no one cares about what your dad did. Second, you punch an officer and you're gonna hear about it. Period. Third, Paul, it's not about fairness. It's like prison. The officers decide what's fair. It's just how it is." With that said, Lou retrieved his toothbrush and headed off to the bathroom.

"That guy can really be a jerk sometimes," Paul spoke after a tense moment of silence.

"Yeah," Cloud agreed as he pulled his legs onto his bunk and laid himself down on his back. "But he's right," he added softly, placing his hands behind his head.

Paul looked at him with concern. "No. Cloud, he's not. Things aren't that simple. They aren't that black and white," he argued. Cloud didn't reply as he stared at the bottom of Lou's bunk. Paul shook his head sadly and turned away, getting himself ready for bed.

_No,_ Cloud thought. _Things aren't that black and white. But maybe they should be…it might be easier that way…_


	10. Chapter 9

_Wow, so, I'm a slow ass. Actually I've been having some computer problems, as those of you who read RtS know. But after some extensive doctoring, hopefully it's gonna survive a little longer for me. So, updates should be coming out not so slowly lol. In fact you may have Chapter 10 to read as early as tomorrow because about 90% of it is already written. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews! Hope you enjoy this. It's a bit short though. Sorry :(_

_Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII._

Chapter IV

"Come on, boys, move your asses!" drill officer Vargas shouted. He had been the one to replace Officer Sigg. He wasn't much different in his ability to scream but there was a definite difference in how he treated the cadets. There was more of an ease now on the field in the mornings. The cadets needed it. It was cold enough in the mornings now that they already had a hard time forcing themselves outside without having something else as a de-motivator.

"Dorm Challenge is next week! So you better be ready to impress!" Vargas called out.

It was Saturday. A big day as far as the cadets were concerned. They weren't thinking of the Dorm Challenge, or anything else for that matter. Nothing other than the fact that at noon they were going to be free to leave the campus for the first time since Thanksgiving. Lou had been well informed when he'd claimed they were getting off-site recreation time. It had been announced Friday morning and that's all anyone had been able to think about since. Being at the Academy had been like being on an island. And island of rules, limitations, and "slim pickings in terms of food" as Lou had said once. They'd missed out on a lot of the things they'd enjoyed before becoming cadets. And now they were going to have four whole hours to make up for that.

It wouldn't be the only weekend they'd have those special recreation hours. They were told they would be granted four hours every other Saturday to explore as they wished anywhere off-campus within a thirty-mile radius. For some, they were able to visit their families as their homes were located within that circle of free-range. Cloud wished he were one of them. Not for his own benefit, but rather for his mother's. She missed him a lot, and after he'd gotten hurt during his exam he could tell when he spoke to her that she wanted desperately to say those words she was holding back. _Come home_.

He assured her he was fine and told her not to worry because he'd be seeing her soon enough. He knew that, provided he passed the Initiate Program, he would be given three weeks in July to spend at home before returning in August to begin his training in SOLDIER. He wasn't planning on returning to Nibelheim in December for Christmas holidays. He was too determined to use the time to train. First semester final exams would be at the beginning of February.

"Alright! Bring it in, gentlemen!" Vargas ordered and the cadets moved away from the obstacle course that had been set up to stand in a semi-circle around the driller. Something else that was different from when they'd had Sigg as their driller. He always had them line up and stand at attention for closing remarks. Vargas preferred they stand at ease and in a way that they'd all be able to see him while he spoke. "Good work, this morning. Still, you gotta step it up if you wanna kick ass next week, got it?!"

"Yes, sir!" the sweating and panting group answered.

"Okay, good," Vargas said as he looked at his watch. "You got a few hours before your rec time begins so go get yourselves cleaned up and make the most of your time. Have fun and I'll see you back here tomorrow morning."

As the cadets began to depart, Vargas stopped Cloud. Cloud knew what it would be about before the man spoke. The driller had been informed of Cloud's recent injuries a few days prior. "Strife, you've been keeping up pretty well the last few days," he commented.

"Yes, sir," he replied with a firm nod.

"How's your leg been?" the drilled questioned then.

"Fine, sir," he answered surely. He was lying just a little. It had been throbbing for the past half hour but he'd paid it no mind. He was scheduled for a session of ultrasound therapy in about forty minutes anyway.

"You know, while it is important to participate in the Dorm Challenge, it's not an essential requirement in the program. It's not necessary that you participate next week."

Cloud half-smiled a little. "Thank you, sir, but I'd rather participate," he said softly. The driller gave a tight smile back.

"Alright," he said with a soft, barely noticeable sigh. "See you tomorrow," he added and Cloud nodded once again before turning and making his way to the locker room.

"Hey," Paul greeted when Cloud entered the one area he, Paul, and Johnny typically changed in. "What was that about?" Paul asked.

"Nothing," Cloud answered quietly as he pulled his sweater off. "Just wanted to let me know if I didn't want to participate in the Challenge next week I don't have to."

"'Cause of—"

"Yeah," Cloud cut him off. He was tired of talking about his damn injury. He hated any amount of special treatment or references to it he got. Almost as much as he hated the fact that it had affected his performance. Sometimes he was even able to forget about it. Just long enough to be reminded when he had to make another trip to the Rehabilitation and Well-Being Facility for a therapy session.

That morning, he lay on the padded table while the physiotherapist was massaging the back of his thigh with the probe on the ultrasound machine. Cloud's mind raced over the thought that he'd be going out into the city. He'd never had a chance to explore any of Midgar the day he'd arrived. It would be the first time he'd ever been out and around in a city. Nibelheim had been his constant environment until the day he'd left. He was a little nervous because of that.

Nervous or not, he couldn't help feeling anxious to get outside as he made his way back to the dorm. He still had about an hour to kill before noon. The dorm was filled with the air of excitement. He approached his bunk, seeing Paul with one of his text books out.

"I'm surprised you're able to study right now," he remarked as he moved in between the bunks and sat on the edge of his own. Paul looked up and smirked.

"Who says I am?" he said with a short laugh. "I've been trying. But it's pretty near impossible." He sat up and closed the book. "This waiting around is killing me! I just wanna go!" he added excitedly. Cloud laughed a little in response before pulling his legs onto his bunk and lying himself down with his hands behind his head. "What's the first thing you want to do when you get out there?" Paul asked then. Cloud thought about it briefly.

"I dunno," he replied simply though he sort of wished he had a camera that he could take pictures with to send back to his mother.

"Well I do," Paul countered. "I want a Caramel Pebble bar."

"A what?" Cloud inquired.

"Only the best candy bar ever! Duh!" Paul spurted enthusiastically.

"A what?" Cloud repeated with a straight face. Paul looked at him with a shocked and worried expression.

"You're kidding," he said and Cloud smirked, revealing that he was in fact joking.

"Thank God," Paul said with relief.

When the time finally came and the clocks struck noon, the cadets poured out of the housing facility and outside into the brisk November air. They rushed for the city streets, eager to get to all the things they'd been dreaming about. Cloud felt like he as well as any other small town boys who'd never set foot in a city before would experience the day out much differently than the others. He felt his like his senses were becoming overloaded with things he'd never seen, heard, or smelt before. Paul was from a town not far from Midgar so he'd been able to visit the city frequently.

As they headed down one of the main streets, Cloud had to remind himself to keep walking as every time he passed something he'd never seen he had the urge to stop and stare. There was such a variety of people out there. Rich and poor intermingled. Everyone from Nibelheim was of roughly the same status. Though there were the few that seemed to have a bit more, like Tifa's family. Or those with a little less, like his. But it was never a drastic contrast. Not like here. Seeing a truly homeless person was a bit of a shock to him.

"Come on, Cloud!" Paul had to keep calling to him, reminding him to hurry up.

They turned onto a street filled with the scents of various foods. Cloud was suddenly very aware of his hunger.

"That sushi is all mine," Paul said as he pointed across the street to the restaurant he had his eye on. He must have eaten there before because he had some particular knowledge about the place, explaining to Cloud that the fish was brought in fresh from the coast twice a day. "You in?" he questioned and Cloud agreed.

Cloud had never really had good sushi before. The stuff offered in Nibelheim was usually a day or so old at best, having been packed on ice and frozen ahead of time. He was aware of the obvious difference in the stuff he was eating now.

Ten minutes after leaving the restaurant, they passed a large building that had Cloud stopping and staring. The way he was looking at it must have indicating something pretty obvious because Paul was looking at him in surprise.

"Oh please tell me you've been to a movie theatre before, Cloud," he said with exaggerated dread in his tone.

"My hometown didn't have one," he said with a slight shrug. Paul stared at him a moment with his mouth open. He grabbed Cloud's arm suddenly and started dragging him up the steps of the theatre.

"Let me introduce you to one of the greatest things on the planet," he said happily as he pulled Cloud with him to the back of one of the lines. "The big screen!"

Cloud hadn't really taken the term 'big' to mean BIG. He was shocked to find himself seated in front of a screen that was easily a hundred times the size of any of the television screens he'd seen before. He was almost too consumed with trying to figure out the inner workings of the place that he barely managed to keep track of what the movie was about.

Once outside again, Paul had to ask. "Just where the hell are you from anyway?" he questioned. "I just realized you've never said the name of it. That would be because Cloud hadn't wanted to be judged by where he was from.

"You probably wouldn't even know it," he replied evasively.

"Try me! I'm a bit of a geography buff," Paul admitted without trying to sound too proud.

"Uh…Nibelheim," Cloud said through a bit of a groan.

Paul thought for a moment. Just when Cloud thought he was going to accept it as another small town he'd never heard of…

"Hey! There's a reactor there!" he spouted.

"Yeah," Cloud confirmed with a nod.

"Wow, were you guys rich or what?"

Cloud looked at him. "It's not our reactor," he said in response.

"Yeah but, the town should have been reimbursed for it," Paul pointed out.

Cloud didn't really know much about that. The reactor had been there since he could remember and he'd never heard of anyone getting rich because of it. Paul just sighed and shook his head.

"What time is it?" he questioned and Cloud pulled his sleeve back to look at his watch.

"Three thirty-two," he answered somewhat sadly. The movie had taken a lot of their time. Not that either of them were sorry about it. They'd have other days to wander anyway.

"Aww…guess we better start heading back," Paul said.

They began their walk back after Paul had bought a few of the candy bars he'd wanted. They were just leaving the sector on their way back to the Academy when they were stopped.

"Excuse me!" a voice called out from behind them. They both turned to see a girl coming towards them. She had dark hair and eyes and seemed to be around the same age as them.

"You're Academy recruits aren't you?" she questioned as she stopped in front of them.

"Sure are," Paul replied with a bright smile.

"Do either of you know a guy named John Brooke?" she inquired next. Paul and Cloud exchanged a look, both shrugging and shaking their heads, though suspicion was creeping up inside Cloud.

"Don't think so," Paul added. The girl reached into her bag hanging over her shoulder and pulled out a wallet.

"Are you sure?" she asked as she rummaged for a moment. "This is what he looks like," she said as she pulled out a picture from one of the wallet's sleeves and showed it to them. Even though the photo was a few years old they both recognized it to be a picture of Johnny.

"Oh yeah," Paul spoke then. "Yeah we know him, don't we, Cloud" he confirmed. Cloud nodded.

The girl shoved the picture back in her wallet and slipped it back into her bag before pulling something else out. It was an envelope. "Can one of you give this to him?" she asked, holding it out for one of them to take. "It's important."

"Uh…sure," Paul agreed as he took the envelope from her. "But you can give it to him yourself, ya know, there's visiting hours at the Academy."

"I don't wanna see him. And I doubt he wants to see me," she claimed fast, readjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder.

"Okay well, we'll make sure he gets it," Paul assured her.

"Thanks," she said with a nod before turning away to leave.

They watched after her a few moments before beginning their way back to the campus.

"Well, guess we know what Johnny's real name is now," Paul commented.

"What do you think it's about?" Cloud asked as he looked down at the envelope in Paul's hand.

"I dunno," he replied before halting in his tracks suddenly and pulling the flap of the envelope open.

"What are you doing?" Cloud blurted in surprise.

"What does it look like?" Paul retorted. He looked up at Cloud and smiled. "Relax. I doubt Johnny will care. Besides, the envelope's not glued shut, he wouldn't know anyway."

Cloud looked away, glancing around nervously as Paul began to read the letter that had been tucked away inside the little white envelope.

"Oh my god…" he muttered after a brief moment of silence. There was dread in his tone.

"What? What is it?" Cloud asked before stepping closer to Paul so he could see what he was reading. Even though he felt somewhat guilty about it, he still allowed himself to scan the page.

_Johnny, _

_There's no easy way to say this. Jamie's dead. He passed away in the hospital three weeks ago. Your mom didn't want to tell you because she didn't want you to freak out and fail your exams. I'm sorry. Please don't do anything stupid because of this. _

_Sophie. _

"Oh my God," Cloud repeated Paul's words as he finished reading.

"Well it's a good flippin' thing they didn't tell him before because he _is _going to freak out," Paul stated as he continued to stare at the letter.

"You think it's a good thing they've lied to him for three weeks about this?" Cloud asked skeptically.

"Well…I'm just saying I can understand why his mom wanted to wait until his exams were over," he clarified.

"But exams were over two weeks ago. Why wouldn't his mom just call him then?" Cloud retorted. Paul shrugged. "I bet they were going to put it off as long as possible. That girl probably wasn't even supposed to say anything…"

Paul sighed. "What are _we_ gonna do?" he wondered aloud.

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked with slight confusion. He kind of sensed where Paul was headed. "We can't not give him the letter, Paul," he stated firmly.

"Yeah I know," Paul said lowly. "This is really gonna suck," he added as he returned the letter to its envelope and continued toward the campus with Cloud following.

They began their search for Johnny when they reached the grounds. They suspected he was still busy doing probation work. It took a half hour to track him down. They found him in the courtyard covering some of the small shrubs and bushes with burlap, preparing them for the approaching winter.

"Oh man," Paul said with another long foreboding sigh before approaching his bunkmate. "Hey," he greeted as he and Cloud came up behind him. Johnny looked back at them before turning his attention back to the roll of twine he was using to secure a sheet of burlap around one of the shrubs.

"Hey," he responded tonelessly.

"There's something we need to talk about…" Paul said uneasily.

"Can it wait?" Johnny questioned. "I'm not supposed to be talking to anyone while I'm working."

Paul looked at Cloud who shook his head. "Uh. I don't think so," Paul denied reluctantly. "And you'd probably be pissed if I let you wait 'till later to find out."

Johnny looked at him then. "Find out what?" he asked sharply. His eyes shifted to Cloud before moving back to Paul.

"Someone stopped us on the street today. A girl. She wanted us to give you this letter," Paul explained, raising his hand from his side to reveal the envelope he was still holding. Johnny looked at it but didn't move from where he was kneeling on one knee on the ground, the roll of twine in his one hand, a pair of scissors in his other one.

"It's about your brother," Cloud spoke up uneasily. Johnny's gaze went back to him. In an instant, Cloud could tell Johnny knew his brother was dead. Maybe he'd already known it. Sensed it somehow and had tried to deny it. There were tears building in his dark eyes as he set down the items in his hands and came to a slow stand.

"Give it to me," he said firmly as he looked back at the letter in Paul's hand.

"Can you just promise first that you're not going to flip out and do something that will get you in a lot of trouble?" Paul asked quickly as he withheld the letter in his possession.

"Just give me the letter," Johnny demanded, his voice shaking as the first tears broke away from his eyes and began trailing his cheeks. Paul submitted reluctantly, extending the envelope to Johnny, who snatched it quickly. He opened it hastily, tearing it slightly as he retrieved the piece of paper folded inside. He held it in his trembling hands as he read it, Paul and Cloud watching him awkwardly and with dread.

The letter told Johnny what he had already suspected to be true and yet he still read it over and over, trying to get more out of it. More information, an explanation, anything. He sank to his knees on the grass once again.

"I'm so sorry, Johnny," Paul said sympathetically as he crouched next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. It took a moment before Johnny made any more movements. He started to stand fast and Paul followed, grabbing onto his arm. "Wait! Where are you going?" he questioned. Without answering, Johnny yanked his arm away from him. It seemed he'd decided he had someplace to be and wasn't going to be stopped. Still Paul tried, taking hold of him once more before Johnny shoved him away. Cloud and Paul watched as Johnny disappeared from the courtyard filled with anger and hurt.

000

Dinner time came and went. Cloud and Paul were in no hurry to leave the cafeteria. They sat in near silence, very aware of how empty the chair next to Paul where Johnny would usually sit was. Cloud could see Tanner coming across the room behind Paul. He rose from his chair and Paul looked at him with slight confusion.

"Tousa," the dorm officer called and Paul stumbled to get to his feet.

"Yes, sir," he answered the officer quickly.

"You have any idea where the hell your bunkmate is?" Tanner questioned, not wasting anytime.

"Uh, no…sir," Paul said uneasily, not sure if he should say something about what had happened a little earlier.

"Well he better have a damn good reason for skipping out early on his probation work or he's out! You can tell him that if you see him," the officer said in annoyance before departing.

Paul and Cloud looked at each other.

"I think I'm gonna go train for awhile," Cloud said quietly then. He needed something to occupy himself. Paul nodded and told him he was going to try looking around for Johnny. Cloud never expected he'd be the one to find him first. He entered the locker rooms outside one of the fitness rooms and there sitting on the floor, his back against the edge of one of the benches was Johnny. He didn't even seem to notice Cloud was there at first. A heavy silence blanketed the room. Johnny was the first to speak, unexpectedly.

"We were twins, you know," he said without looking up. Cloud lowered himself slowly to the bench across from him. "Growing up, we were inseparable. But we were different. He was the good one. The happy one. The ambitious one." There was a long pause before Johnny added "The favorite." He lowered his head a moment as he struggled to get ahead of his emotions again. "It was his dream to be in SOLDIER. Not mine. But he made me promise to sign up with him and try for a spot in the ranks. I always thought he'd just forget about it but he didn't. This past summer he tracked me down and wanted to let me know he was being sent out of town for radiation therapy. He was starting to get really sick then and he asked me to join for him. I told him I would. I figured it's the least I could do for leaving him behind when I ran away from home."

Cloud hesitated on speaking but he worked up the nerve and proceeded finally. "Were things at home…hard like they were for you?"

"No…" Johnny replied quietly. "And it wasn't hard for me either, until Jay got diagnosed. My parents were upset. Because he was the favorite and the one with the future and he got cancer. He got cancer and I didn't," he said angrily. "And things just…fell apart."

Cloud watched him uneasily, feeling bad but not knowing if there was anything he could say or do.

"And now he's gone…" Johnny added quietly.

"I'm sorry, Johnny," Cloud said sympathetically. He wished he could relate in some way to Johnny but he'd never lost anyone he really cared about.

"Could you leave," Johnny spoke then. His voice was level. Cloud stared at him, hesitant on complying. He may not have ever lost someone before but he knew as well as anyone that leaving a person when they had experienced something that distressing wasn't among the greatest ideas. "Please," Johnny insisted.

Cloud stood slowly. "Are you going to be in the dorm later?" he asked tentatively.

Cloud couldn't be positive but it sounded like Johnny had said "Yeah." But it was uttered very quietly. Still, he chose to be reassured by it. Even though every part of him knew there was no way Johnny would be coming to the dorm that night.


	11. Chapter 10

_Hi guys. Just a quick note about the chapter. While no one has specifically come out and said they don't like reading about Johnny I just thought I'd say, in case there are those who feel that way, that this chapter does sorta revolve around him. But it's on a basic level. Something I just wanted to explain was that I use my OCs as a way to bring out things in the more important or central characters (ie. Cloud and Zack) so while on that basic level it surrounds Johnny, on the deeper level I'd say this chapter is essentially about Zack and if you read it carefully it's fairly revealing of most of the characters in this chapter. Thanks guys! _

_Disclaimer: FFVII belongs to Squre Enix. _

Chapter X

"I'm really worried about him," Paul declared as he sat down on the edge of his bed. It was only fifteen minutes until lights-out and both he and Cloud had been putting off getting ready for bed. Cloud had been keeping an eye on his watch anxiously. He really wished he'd stayed with Johnny in the locker room instead of leaving when the cadet asked him to. Now, neither he nor Paul knew where Johnny was. "You think he left the campus?" Paul questioned then, glancing over at Cloud. Cloud shrugged though he suspected almost without a doubt that Johnny was not on Academy grounds.

"Strife!" a voice called out from nearby and Cloud turned to see Officer Tanner approaching. He stood up as the officer closed in.

"Sir," be responded with a curt nod.

"There's a phone call for you. It's your sister," the officer announced. Cloud was struck instantly with confusion. He didn't have any siblings.

"My sister?" he responded awkwardly.

"She said it was urgent," the officer replied before turning away. "This way," he instructed and Cloud followed hesitantly, glancing back at Paul and seeing he was just as confused. Cloud shrugged and sped up his pace to keep up with his dorm officer. He was led to a small office where Tanner left him alone to use the phone. A light was flashing on the phone indicating the line was on hold. He picked up the receiver slowly and pressed the line button.

"Hello?" he said somewhat meekly.

"Cloud Strife?" a female voice on the other end of the line spoke.

"Yes," he confirmed.

"My name's Sophie. I ran into you and your friend today and gave you a letter to give to another cadet," she explained firmly.

"Yeah…" Cloud replied slowly. "How did you get my name?"

"Well your last name is on your ID tag, and I heard your friend call you by your first name earlier," she revealed. Cloud looked down at his name tag then.

"Oh…" he said quietly. "Why are you calling me and pretending to be my sister?" he spoke more sharply. Frankly, he was a little annoyed at her for having given them the letter to begin with instead of talking to Johnny herself.

"Because this is important and I didn't want to be told to wait 'till tomorrow to talk to you," she answered vaguely. "First, I need to know, are you actually Johnny's friend?"

Cloud exhaled and thought about it briefly. "Uh…sorta I guess. He doesn't really have _friends_…I don't think."

"Of course not," Sophie replied with a scoff. "'Cause then he'd actually have to care about someone."

Her words seemed to throw themselves into Cloud as he thought about the fact that he also didn't really have _friends_. Not in the conventional sense of the word.

"Anyway," the girl continued. "If there was ever a time Johnny could use a friend it'd be right now…" Cloud was about to confess to her that he had no idea where Johnny was but stopped himself as she spoke her next words. "He went to his parent's house. His mom called me after he left. Apparently his dad and him had it out with each other."

Cloud's stomach sank a little as he thought about it. "Where's he now?" he questioned then.

"That's actually why I'm calling…" she said uneasily. "I'm not completely positive I know where he is but there's a good chance he's at a place called The Warehouse. He used to hang around there a lot."

There was silence between them a short moment. Then, abruptly, the girl said "I want you to see if you can find him."

"Me?" Cloud responded fast. "Why not you? You seem to know him pretty well," he pointed out.

"Because he's not gonna listen to me."

"And what makes you think he'll listen to me?" Cloud retorted.

"Maybe he won't. But—look, he has a good thing going if he stays in the Academy. He could make something of himself. If someone doesn't go after him, he'll throw it away and go back to what he left behind. And that's a life no one should have."

Cloud sighed softly, looking up at the clock on the wall. It was about two minutes until lights-out. "Um…where is this place?" he asked reluctantly.

"Fifth and Bard. It's under Sector 5, in the slums. It's pretty much the only thing on the street that's not abandoned or shut down."

"Alright," he said with a short huff of an exhale.

"You'll go?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'll go," he replied, not hiding the annoyance from his tone.

"Take my number down and call me if you get a hold of him, okay?"

Cloud grabbed a pen off the desk and began writing the numbers down on his arm as she listed them off. "Okay," Cloud said as he finished.

"Thanks," she said then.

He gave a short "Yeah" before hanging up the phone. "Damn," he cursed softly as he looked back at the clock before leaving the room.

He made his way back to the dorm to get a sweater and his coat. When he entered, the lights had already gone out. He nearly walked into his dresser before opening the bottom drawer and feeling around.

"Who was on the phone?" Paul questioned just above a whisper. He wasn't too concerned with being quiet as some of the other boys were still talking to each other from their bunks.

"That girl who gave us Johnny's letter," Cloud spoke back.

"What?" Paul said and Cloud could hear him shifting as he sat up. "What'd she want?"

"She wants me to go find Johnny," he said with a long exhale. "He went home for a bit earlier," he continued before Paul could ask. "But she gave me the address of where she thinks he is now."

"So you're just gonna…leave campus?" Paul asked in disbelief.

"I said I would," Cloud replied before pulling his sweater on, hoping he hadn't just put it on backwards.

"Cloud, do you know how much trouble you'll be in if you're found out?!" Paul spoke in a harsh whisper.

"Yes," Cloud answered before rising in front of his dresser. "I'll be back in awhile, hopefully with Johnny," he said by way of farewell, turning and heading back to the front of the room where the coats were hanging. He grabbed his own quietly before leaving the dorm.

He'd made it to the end of the long hall before he heard quick footsteps and a hushed voice calling his name. He looked back to see Paul hurrying after him, struggling to hold his coat as he was pulling on his own sweater. Cloud waited until he'd caught up.

"I'm coming with you," Paul said. Cloud smiled and shook his head lightly before starting his quick pace to the exit once again. They left the building through one of the training facilities Cloud spent a lot of time in. It wouldn't look as suspicious. There were no cameras, but there was one problem that would present itself later. The doors could only be opened from the inside. So they'd have to find an alternate way back into the building on the way in.

"You think you can lead the way to the slums?" Cloud questioned once they were outside.

"The slums?" Paul echoed, looking at him with a bit of distain in his expression. "I guess so. Which part?"

"Under Sector Five."

"Fine," Paul said unenthusiastically. "That's where that girl thinks Johnny is?" Cloud nodded. "Well he better damn well come back with us if we're going all the way down there."

When they reached the slums, Cloud was a little surprised at how dark it was down there. But it was strangely warmer. The place certainly lived up to its name though. There wasn't much down there. A lot of dilapidated old buildings. The people wandering the streets creeped him out. Several of them spoke to him as they were passing but he tried not to hear them.

It was easier to find 'The Warehouse' than they'd expected. The music being pumped out of the building drifted out as far as two blocks. Cloud found it strangely inviting. It was a non-threatening sound, something that didn't strike discomfort into him the way the people on the street attempting to talk to him did.

The Warehouse was in fact a _warehouse_, though it had been converted into a night club. People were obviously drawn to the place as if it were the only source of life and vitality for miles. Johnny was also easier to find than they'd expected. Even from a distance, he stood out in his cadet uniform. He was standing outside the warehouse, leaning against the one wall and taking drags of a cigarette while talking to a few other guys. Paul called out to him and he looked in their direction. He dropped what was left of his cigarette and headed to the main door quickly, walking past the bouncer and into the building before Paul and Cloud had even crossed the street.

"Guess he doesn't want to see _us_," Paul commented as they approached the bouncer. Before they'd said a word, the large man shook his head.

"Too young," he spoke gruffly.

"You let our friend in!" Paul pointed out but the bouncer wasn't going to be swayed. He crossed his arms and stood like a brick wall in front of them. They gave up, heading away from the building slowly. "Now what?" Paul questioned.

"We wait 'till he comes out?" Cloud suggested with a slight shrug. They crossed back over to the other side of the street and sat on one of the benches they'd passed on the way by. After forty-five minutes it became clear that the plan wasn't going to work. Johnny seemed determined to stay in the building.

At one point, Paul threw out the question "What if he already left through another side of the building?" Cloud didn't answer, refusing to believe that to be truth and that they'd just been sitting out there in the cold for nothing. Sitting there was getting them nowhere but he didn't want to go back to the Academy without trying everything possible to get Johnny to come back with them. A few meters away from the benches were a set of payphones. He had a thought. Maybe a dumb one. He wasn't sure. He only knew that chances were they weren't going to be able to get to Johnny themselves.

"You got any change on you?" he asked and Paul searched his pockets. He handed Cloud what he had and followed him to the pay phones. Picking up the receiver in one hand he deposited just enough of the change into the appropriate slot with his other one. He dialed the number of the Academy, waiting to hear the automated voice asking if he knew which extension he wanted to call or if he wished to access the directory.

"Zack Fair, First Class." Cloud spoke when prompted.

Paul looked at him in shock. "You're calling an officer?!" he said fast. Cloud ignored him, waiting as he heard the sound of ringing when his call was connected.

"Damn," he cursed as he got Zack's answering machine. He hung up and thought for a moment before picking the receiver back up.

"Who you calling now?" Paul questioned nervously. Again Cloud didn't answer. He called the Academy again, this time waiting until he was connected with an operator.

"Yes, I'm calling for First Class Zack Fair. He's not in his room and it's urgent I speak with him," Cloud spoke firmly.

"Please hold," the operator instructed and he waited, listening to the cheesy instrumental music playing on the line.

Down in the office, Zack and Kunsel had been busy at work. They sat opposite one another at a large drawing desk, spreadsheets, folders and various documents littering the top. The phone on the desk rang three times before Kunself managed to uncover it from under the mass of paper and answered it.

"'S for you," he mumbled and held the receiver out to Zack without looking up. Zack took it slowly, taking his time in putting it to his ear as he was in the middle of large calculation of numbers. Finally, he answered.

"Zack," he spoke tiredly into the phone as he kept his eyes on the spreadsheet in front of him.

"Uh, hi, sir," a hesitant voice spoke back.

"Hi," Zack replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry to call you so late, sir—" the voice continued but Zack cut him off.

"Who's this?" he asked.

"It's Cloud Strife—"

"Oh. Hey," Zack responded a little quicker, growing a little more alert. He glanced at his watch. "Why…_are_ you calling so late? Is something wrong?" he asked, becoming serious again.

"Uh…well…" Cloud stammered.

"Are you okay?" Zack inquired, a bit of worry making its way to his voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But…Paul Tousa and I are off the Academy grounds," Cloud began to explain tentatively.

"Are you nuts? You know that's strictly prohibited, right?" Zack questioned as he sat back in his chair. Kunsel looked up from his work to observe him briefly before retreating back to what he'd been doing.

"Yeah, we know. But we went looking for Johnny Six. He's in a night club. We can't get in and…would you be able to help us?"

Zack exhaled long and forceful while taking another look at his watch.

"Where _exactly_ are you?" he asked at last.

"The slums under Sector Five…Fifth and Bard..." Cloud replied.

"Alright. Stay where you are. I'll be there shortly."

Zack reached across the table to hang the phone up. "I have to go somewhere," he announced as he rose from his chair.

"What?" Kunsel responded fast, looking up from across the desk. "Where?"

"Uhh…some cadets need some help with something," he explained vaguely as he grabbed his coat off the back of his chair and headed to the door.

"But—" Kunsel stuttered as Zack grabbed for the door handle. "We're up to our asses in data assessment, Zack! We need to have the final numbers on the Gamma Leroy and Lan Seven projects in by noon tomorrow!" Zack huffed from where he stood, lowering his head. "I knew taking on the dorm officer position was going to be too much for you, I told you, remember?"

"Kunsel," Zack spoke firmly, meeting his eyes. "I know our deadlines, okay? It'll get done, but these cadets got themselves into something. They need my help."

Kunsel sat back in his chair. "Well that sounds ominous. What's going on?"

"I don't know all the details, I'll know when I get there," Zack replied as he pulled the office door open and stepped into the hall. Kunsel pushed his chair back fast and got to his feet, running after him. He stopped him in the hall.

"No way, Zack, I let you walk out of here with no explanation and the Directors will have my head," he said as he moved in front of him, cutting him off.

"Oh really? 'Cause they've got you babysitting me now, is that it?" Zack asked in annoyance.

"Come on, Zack, Angeal and I were always babysitting you, you know that," his friend replied with a smirk. Zack winced at the mention of Angeal's name. He wasn't ready for references like that. Even ten months after…

Zack sighed, looking down at the floor before redirecting his gaze at Kunsel. "Not a word to anyone," he warned.

"Fine," his friend agreed.

"The cadets are down in the slums. They went looking for another cadet. They think they know where he is, they just can't get to him," he explained quietly.

Kunsel scoffed. "Well they're all gonna be in deep shit if someone finds out they've left the grounds after curfew. And ya know officers aren't exactly permitted free range either."

"I'm not worried about myself. I know these cadets and they're decent kids, something must have happened to cause the one to run off, the other two are just looking out for him. I'll vouch for them if I have to, but I'm aiming to get them back here before it comes to that."

Kunsel nodded in understanding. "Alright," he said softly. "Let me get my coat," he added as he moved past Zack in the direction of the office.

"What?" Zack questioned fast as he pivoted around after him.

"I'm coming with you," his friend called back. "And you can shove it if you think you're gonna argue with me about it too," he said before disappearing into the office. Zack rolled his eyes, sighing as he ran his hands through his hair. He checked the time on his phone. 11:49 p.m.

Kunsel returned quickly and they headed down to one of the building's side exits together. They borrowed a van from the motor pool and twenty minutes later were parking the vehicle a few meters down the road from the warehouse. They spotted Cloud and Paul sitting on a bench across the street. They boys seemed nervous but looked relieved when Zack approached them. They rose to their feet as he neared.

"So," Zack spoke as he stepped up onto the sidewalk in front of them. "Whose bright idea was it to come out here tonight?"

Cloud and Paul exchanged glances before Paul spoke. "We decided together—"

"No," Cloud interrupted. "It was mine. I was going to come alone but Paul decided to come too.

"We're sorry, sir," Paul stepped in again. "We just didn't want Johnny getting in any more trouble after what happened with Officer Sigg."

"Well…trouble seems to be the kid's middle name," Zack pointed out as he stared out across the street at the warehouse.

"His brother died, sir. He just found out today. They were really close growing up. He kinda just freaked out," Paul defended his bunkmate.

"Who broke the news to him?" Zack questioned without looking at the cadets.

"We did—well sorta. Some girl gave us a letter to give to him," Paul said uneasily.

"A letter?" Zack echoed as he turned their way again. "Jesus," he muttered under his breath. "Alright," he continued as he glanced at the club before turning back to the boys. "You two go and wait in the van," he spoke to Cloud as he handed him the keys. He turned back to Kunsel. "We'll go get Johnny…That's if we can even get in."

"Why wouldn't you be able to get in?" Paul questioned.

"We're not _that _old," Zack replied.

"Come on, let's get this done," Kunsel spoke up.

"Go to the van," Zack ordered before moving toward the building after Kunsel. "And lock the doors!" he called out.

Cloud and Paul watched the officers as they headed toward the van. Once inside with the doors locked Paul spoke up.

"You think it was a good idea calling him?" he asked.

"He came didn't he?" Cloud replied lowly.

"Yeah with that other officer. We're gonna get in trouble for this, I know it," Paul muttered as he rubbed his hands together, trying to get them warm.

"You didn't have to come," Cloud pointed out.

"I know. Doing the right thing really sucks sometimes," Paul stated with a light laugh. Cloud couldn't help but laugh a little as well as he nodded in agreement.

Zack and Kunsel managed to get into the club without being asked for ID. It was dark and the music was many times louder on the inside. Zack surveyed the area briefly. He noticed more than just a few people in there who shouldn't have been. They couldn't have been older than seventeen. He looked back at Kunsel to see he'd noticed the same.

"Unbelievable," Zack uttered under his breath as he pushed his way through a crowd gathered in front of one of the bars. He headed for a set of stairs leading up to a loft area, thinking it'd be easier to get a better look around the place from up there. Fortunately, the search was ended promptly as they located Johnny on that second level. The loft was set up as a lounge, outfitted with several well-used, dirty couches and chairs. Most of the people up there seemed either placid or on the verge of passing out. A few couples were busy exchanging sloppy, drunken kisses as they pawed each other.

Johnny was lying on his stomach on one of the couches, seemingly unconscious, his one arm hanging off the couch, his hand resting in a puddle of spilt beer. There was a multitude of empty and half-finished beer bottles resting around the couches on tables or the floor. There was no real way to tell which belonged to whom. Zack approached Johnny, followed closely by Kunsel. Moving some bottles out of the way, he crouched next to the couch and grasped Johnny's upper arm, squeezing and tugging on it lightly as he called his name to him.

"Johnny. It's time to go, kiddo," he said before rising slightly. With a hold still on his arm he began turning him over onto his back, drawing a few groans from the cadet. Even though it was dark, Zack could make out the split lip Johnny sported.

"What'd he do? Get in a fight too?" Kunsel said to Zack, having noticed the same thing.

Zack didn't bother to respond. The answer seemed pretty obvious. He pulled Johnny up, forcing him to sit up. Johnny groaned again in protest, his head hanging limply in front of him, Zack being the only thing holding his dead weight up. "Man, he's really out of it," Zack spoke over his shoulder to Kunsel. "Johnny, hey! Wake up and gimme a couple words will ya?" he ordered as he slapped the side of Johnny's face lightly. Johnny complied slowly.

"Nuh…lee' me 'lone," he slurred out, pushing at Zack weakly before dropping his arms and falling against the officer.

"Alright, let's just get him out of here," Zack said to his friend as he gripped Johnny and lifted him from the couch, and over his shoulder. Something slipped seemingly from Johnny's body and landed on the couch cushion. A small plastic zip lock bag only a few inches in size. It was empty but Zack had his suspicions about what had been in it. Kunsel didn't seem to have noticed it. They made their way then back toward the exit with Johnny where they were stopped suddenly by one of the bouncers. Another man was there as well.

"Whadda ya think yer doing?" the man questioned forcefully.

"Leaving actually," Zack replied and motioned to move past the man. He was stopped again by the bouncer. He exhaled forcefully.

"This kid's a cadet at the SOLDIER Academy. We're here to retrieve him," Zack explained as he and Kunsel retrieved their IDs to show the man.

"Well that's just dandy but you can't jus' come in here and take the boy away," the man argued, raising his voice louder to be heard over the music.

"Says who?" Kunsel retorted.

"Says me. I'm his uncle, and the owner of this place," the man claimed.

Zack snorted. "You're his uncle?" he asked with clear doubt.

"Yeah. Something like that anyway," the man said with a half-grin.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well he's not staying here. I'll be sure to tell him when he wakes up that his 'uncle' says 'hi'," Zack said as be tried to push past the men. The bouncer placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back.

"No can do, buddy," he owner said. Zack hardened his expression.

"Look, you piece of shit," he began firmly. "You're running a place that allows admission to minors illegally. And worse than that, you're serving alcohol to them. I don't know who the hell you are, but if you'd like to keep this dump you probably call home, I suggest you back the hell off. _Now_."

Slowly, the men backed off and Zack moved passed them, followed by Kunsel.

"They got him," Cloud said in slight surprise and Paul looked up from his hands where his gaze had been focused. They watched the officers coming toward them, shocked that Johnny actually needed to be carried out. Cloud unlocked the doors when they were a few feet away, opening the side door for Zack so he could slide Johnny in and lay him down on the one bench seat in front of Cloud and Paul.

"Is he okay?" Paul asked with concern, his eyes on Johnny's limp form.

"He's something," Kunsel commented as he got into the driver's seat.

"Is he drunk?"

"Probably," Zack answered dully before sliding the side door shut and getting into the front passenger's seat. "We can't bring him back to the dorms like that," he said as Kunsel started the ignition.

"So what then?" Kunsel asked.

"Uhh…hotel?" Zack answered after a moment of thought. Kunsel sighed but didn't say anything.

They drove to a hotel close to the Academy. Zack went into the office to pay for a room. While he was gone Kunsel spoke up.

"Which one of you called?" he inquired, turning in his seat to look back at Cloud and Paul.

"I did, sir," Cloud admitted uneasily.

"It's Cloud, right?" the officer asked.

"Yes, sir," Cloud confirmed.

"Well you're certainly smart," the officer stated. Cloud was a little confused.

"I'm sorry, sir?" he said softly.

"You managed to pick the one officer who'd break the rules and jeopardize himself and his rank to make it his mission to get involved in your issues," Kunsel clarified. Cloud glanced at Paul and back at the officer. He couldn't be sure but it felt like he was being warned of something. Kunsel realized Cloud wasn't understanding and decided to get straight to the point. "Zack's been through a lot. Ten months ago he lost his mentor. It hit him hard and believe me when I say he'll do anything and everything he can to become a savior for those who even remotely ask for it. Because he believes somehow that will fix the fact that he couldn't save the friend he lost. Be careful how you use him. He's worked hard to get where he is and it'd kill me to see him lose it because of some impulsive cadets."

Cloud stared at the officer in shock. "Uh—I…don't want to use anybody, sir," he tried to explain, though not sure how. "I…" He struggled to get out what he was trying to say but he didn't know _what_ he was trying to say. He shifted his gaze out the window as he noticed Zack coming back to the vehicle. Kunsel frowned before turning to face forward. Zack opened the passenger door and got back in the van. He was aware of the strange silence in the vehicle and glanced toward the back before looking at Kunsel.

"What?" he questioned. The silence remained another brief moment before Kunsel spoke.

"You get a room?" the officer asked.

"Uh, yeah. One fourteen. Around back," he directed. Kunsel pulled the van around and parked it before getting out along with Zack. Zack opened the side door and grabbed hold of Johnny, pulling him off the seat and lifting him once again onto his shoulder. Paul got out of the van and looked back at Cloud.

"You coming?" he asked, his tone suggesting he felt bad for Cloud having just been a little reamed out by Kunsel. Cloud followed after him.

Once in the room, Zack lay Johnny down on the second bed, furthest from the door and proceeded to remove his boots. "What time is it?" he asked as he was undoing the laces on his right boot.

Kunsel provided the answer in military time. "Oh-one hundred."

"Alright, I'm gonna need you to—" Zack began.

"Take the cadets back." Kunsel finished his sentence for him.

"Yeah," Zack agreed. "And you can bring some of that data we were working on back here, I can work on it while—"

"Oh forget it, Fair," his friend interrupted again. "I'll cover your ass. You owe me though."

"You got it," Zack agreed with a smile.

"We have to go back?" Paul questioned sadly.

"You're both due out on the field at seven. Don't think you're getting out of that. You better go get some sleep while you can. Don't worry, Johnny and I will both be out there too. Imagine how great he's gonna feel."

"Let's go," Kunsel said from the doorway. "See you in a couple hours," he said to Zack before stepping back outside. Paul followed after him obediently. Cloud hesitated before leaving. Zack looked up at him as he pulled Johnny's second boot off and began to pull the covers down from under his body.

"You okay, kid," the officer asked warmly.

"Thank you," Cloud spoke awkwardly. "I know it was stupid to come here tonight, I just…"

"It's alright, Cloud. You don't need to explain. I understand," Zack said as he pulled the covers over Johnny. Cloud nodded slowly. "Go on, go get some sleep. I'll see you in a little while," the officer said with that reassuring smile of his.

Back at the dorm that night, as Paul and he were finally in their bunks, Cloud thought over and over what Kunsel had said. The first part of what the officer had said bothered him the most. '_You managed to pick the one officer who'd break the rules and jeopardize himself and his rank to make it his mission to get involved in your issues.' _It bothered him because that's exactly what Kunsel was willing to do for Zack. Kunsel had done it for Zack. Zack had done it for him, and he'd apparently done it for Johnny. But he hadn't been chosen for that anymore than Kunsel, or Zack for that matter. They were personal choices. He'd chosen to go find Johnny that night. Zack had chosen to help when he'd called. And Kunsel had chosen to go along.

Cloud almost had himself convinced of that. But before he was finally able to sleep, one other thing managed to push its way into his mind. That one, big contributing factor. Guilt. It had a way of making choices seem choiceless…


	12. Chapter 11

_Hey guys, sorry for the long delay. Thanks for being patient! _

_Disclaimer: No own FFVII. Ug. _

Chapter XI

At 5:30 am, Zack's cell phone woke him up from where he was sprawled across the one hotel bed. He'd only been asleep about three hours. He rolled onto his back and reached into his right pocket for the phone, flipping it open and raising it to his ear.

"Zack," he spoke groggily into it.

"You sound about as great as I feel," Kunsel's voice spoke back to him.

"Yeah?" Zack asked with his eyes still closed. "You just wake up?"

"Never went to sleep. Still working," Kunsel replied.

"'M sorry, man, I'll be in shortly and I'll be able to help you finish up," Zack said as he finally pried his eyelids open and looked over at where Johnny was still asleep in the other bed.

"The kid still out?" Kunsel questioned next.

"Yeah. I better get him up and into the shower. Give him a chance to get himself ready for one of the worst days of his life," Zack said with a smile, thinking of the few times he'd had to early morning train after a late night of drinking.

"At least it's Sunday. He won't have any classes to go to after his exercises."

"Yeah. Did you get the other cadets back to the dorms alright?"

"Sure did. You gonna join your dorm on the field at seven?" his friend inquired.

"For a few minutes. Just to make sure they get started alright. After that, I'm just gonna shower and get some food and I'll meet you in the office. I'll take over for you if you wanna go grab a few hours sleep before that meeting at one."

"Sounds good. See you in a couple hours."

"Later," Zack said before flipping the phone shut. He closed his eyes and exhaled long before forcing himself up and off the bed, straightening his uniform shirt a little as he moved into the bathroom. He splashed some water on his face from the sink's tap before turning the shower on and returning to the main room. He leaned over the bed Johnny was lying in and nudged him, calling his name a few times until he began to stir.

Johnny groaned, opening his eyes only slightly before turning away from Zack and curling into himself.

"Nuh uh," Zack refused to give up on getting him up, grabbing hold of the blankets and pulling them down in one swift movement. Johnny pulled his arms and legs into his body more tightly and reached for the pillow under his head, using it to cover his face. "Come on, Cadet Six, the day ain't gonna wait for you," Zack urged, grabbing the pillow and pulling it from his grasp. "There's a nice hot shower waiting for you though and if you don't get your ass up I'll throw you in there with your clothes on."

Johnny continued to refuse. He did manage to grumble out one thing. "Fuck off." In all likelihood he wasn't one hundred percent aware of what Zack was saying. It was highly possible he was still a little intoxicated.

"Alright," Zack said as he stood back with his hands on his hips. He moved away from the bed into the bathroom where he grabbed one of the plastic cups off the counter and filled it with cold water from the tap. "You're not gonna go to the shower, so the shower's comin' to you," he said firmly as he marched up to Johnny. In one quick moment, the water was hitting the side of Johnny's face and neck. The cadet moved then, turning and sitting up a little. Zack didn't give him a chance to say anything as he grabbed his one upper arm and pulled him off the bed. Johnny stumbled a few times as Zack dragged him toward the bathroom. He let him go in front of the shower, grabbing a folded towel off the counter and throwing it at Johnny who barely held onto it as he reached out and grasped the towel rack next to him. Without another word, Zack pulled the door shut, leaving him alone in the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, Zack heard the sound of the water being shut off. He sat back in the chair he'd pulled out from the small desk and waited. A few minutes later, the bathroom door opened and Johnny came out slowly, dressed, though his hair was still dripping.

"Well well," Zack spoke up. "The walking dead."

Despite being cleaned up, Johnny still looked exhausted and worn. His lip was a little more swollen than it had been the night before and there was a little extra bruising on his jaw that hadn't been visible before. For a moment he just stood in the doorway, looking around the room a bit before letting his eyes meet Zack's.

"Where are we?" he questioned finally.

"A hotel not far from the Academy," Zack answered simply.

"Why," Johnny asked then.

Zack studied his expression. The cadet seemed to be asking something else. Something more specific.

Zack sighed. "Couldn't take you back to the Academy dorms. You were intoxicated," he explained.

"I think I still am," Johnny muttered as he took a seat on the nearby bed, facing away from Zack.

"It wasn't all alcohol was it?" Zack inquired seriously.

"No," Johnny admitted.

"What was it?"

"Amytal," the cadet answered without turning.

Zack shook his head and took in a slow breath. "Well…you could have picked something worse I suppose. Still, you better pray there's no surprise drug test this week."

"Doesn't really matter. I'm finished," Johnny stated.

"Finished?" Zack repeated.

"At the Academy," Johnny clarified as he looked back at Zack.

"Really?" Zack questioned as he leaned forward in the chair, resting his elbows on his knees. "Why?" Johnny didn't answer. After a moment, Zack switched topics. "Is the owner of that place really your uncle?" Zack asked and Johnny looked back at him.

"What?" he questioned confusedly.

"The owner of the club you were in. He claimed to be your uncle," Zack clarified.

Johnny scoffed. "No. That's just what he says about all the guys who—" he stopped abruptly. Zack looked at him expectantly. "Who worked for him," he finished softly, facing forward again.

"Were you a pusher?" Zack questioned after a moment, referring to drug trafficking.

"Yeah," he confirmed reluctantly without looking back. He turned after a few seconds and rested his one knee on the mattress. "How'd you—" he began to question but Zack cut him off.

"Eh, the guy had a look about him. And there're only two reasons someone like that hires boys to work for him. I took a guess on which one."

Johnny lowered his eyes, pushing some of his still-wet hair from where it was clinging to his forehead. His hair had been growing out since he'd arrived at the Academy with deeply blue black strands. Now, his roots revealed his natural dark brown hue.

"Or was it a combination job?" Zack questioned then.

The cadet remained silent as Zack studied his expression closely. He wouldn't confirm or deny Zack's rising suspicions. In Johnny's mind, it was bad enough that the officer knew he'd been a pusher, responsible for selling drugs to not just adults, but kids as young as ten. He wasn't about to divulge all the other things he'd done to survive on the streets, many of which were shameful and degrading. It wasn't like any of it was far in the past either. The last time he sold a drug was just a few weeks before joining the Academy.

"I'm kinda shocked," Zack went on then. "You're still pretty young to have been a pusher…" Another suspicion crept up on him. "But you aren't actually fourteen are you?"

Johnny shook his head slowly. "Sixteen," he revealed. "Changed my birth date at the same time I changed my name." He'd imagined at the time that by changing the date he could erase some of the years he'd spent on the street. So that maybe it would feel like they'd never happened. He was wrong.

"Still. Young," Zack said with a sigh. He wished suddenly he'd taken the time to go through the warehouse. To find out just what secrets the owner was hiding. But he knew it would be nearly pointless. Local authorities were rarely concerned with issues of that nature. They didn't care if adolescents were selling drugs or their bodies so long as they weren't vandalizing at the same time.

"Kinda worked to my advantage," Johnny said as he shrugged slightly.

"Do you really wanna go back to that life?" Zack asked, almost as if he had read his thoughts on his past.

"No," Johnny responded softly after a moment. A wave of emotions ran over him suddenly and he wasn't able to stop the tears that sought release. "But I don't belong at the Academy. It was never my dream," he claimed as he gripped the inner corners of his closed eyes with his thumb and forefinger, stopping the tears from running down his cheeks.

"I don't agree. I had a look at your Instructor Reports and running transcript. You're in the top five percentile in the program. That's incredible! The Academy and you fit nicely together, if you ask me. And as far as dreams go, why not _make_ it your dream?" Zack suggested.

Johnny looked at him with reddened eyes before casting them downwards. "I dunno…"

Zack exhaled strong before moving himself to the mattress, sitting next to Johnny. "You have a chance at a great life," he pointed out softly. "Don't you think your brother would have wanted that for you?"

000

Cloud groaned when he woke to the sound of several alarms going off in the room. He dragged his one arm closer to his face so he could see his watch clearly. 6:30 am already. He felt like he'd just gone to sleep. He fully planned even before getting out of bed to get right back to sleep after morning exercises. He felt the bunk frame move as Lou got down from the top bunk. Cloud waited until he'd headed off in the direction of the bathroom before sitting up slowly, keeping his blankets close to his body. It was getting colder in the dorm in the mornings. As he looked across from his bunk he noticed Paul was already up and about somewhere. Rubbing his eyes, he moved to the edge of the mattress, lowering his feet to the cold tile floor. He stared down at his arm then, at the phone number written in pen. He had to remember to call that girl, Sophie, later and let her know they'd found Johnny the night before. Though, found or not, he had his doubts about Johnny coming back to the Academy. But then, where else would he go?

"Hey," a voice spoke from behind him and he turned to see Paul coming towards the bunks. He was dressed and ready for training.

"How are you ready to go already?" Cloud questioned through a yawn.

"I've barely been able to sleep. I kept waking up thinking I was late for morning exercises. At six I gave in and got up," Paul explained as he sat down on the edge of his bunk. Cloud nodded as he forced himself to abandon the warmth of his bed and stand up. "You think Johnny's gonna come back?" Paul asked then. Cloud shrugged a little.

"I dunno, maybe. He told me yesterday that he never wanted to be in SOLDIER. He was doing it for his brother. May seem kinda pointless to him now," Cloud suggested.

"Yeah, I guess so," Paul agreed.

It was a bit of an anxious wait on the field as they stood and waited for their drill officer to show up. The first flakes of snow for the season fell that morning. Tiny little flakes that drifted down from the sky slowly like white dust. Cloud had been watching, along with Paul, the doors that led into the training facility's locker rooms, wondering if the next time they opened, Johnny would be heading through them and onto the field. But when one of those heavy metal doors finally opened, it was Officer Vargas that emerged instead. The man approached quickly and wasted no time in getting the dorm started with their warm-up exercises. Cloud was in the middle of one of the stretches when Paul nudged him. He looked up and toward the facility to see Zack and Johnny coming toward the group. They came to a stop next to Vargas.

"Morning, Scott," Zack greeted the driller.

"Zack," Vargas replied with a nod.

"Sorry Cadet Six is late, there were some things I needed to talk to him about," Zack explained and the driller nodded again.

"Alright. Six, start warming up with the others," Vargas ordered and Johnny moved past him. He headed toward Cloud and Paul.

Cloud watched as he approached. He didn't look as bad as he'd been expecting. In fact, Cloud felt far worse than Johnny looked. He was expecting the cadet to stop next to him and Paul but he didn't. Johnny walked past them towards the back of the group without even really looking at them. Paul seemed a little more bothered by it than Cloud was.

Even though Johnny had seemed relatively unaffected by the previous night, he did stop in the middle of the run abruptly, moving off the track where he stood, leaning over a minute with his hands on his knees. Cloud hadn't noticed until one of the boys running behind him commented on it.

"Six is gonna puke," the cadet said with a light laugh to someone running next to him. Only then did Cloud see Johnny as he was rounding the one end of the track. Johnny never did actually throw up. Vargas approached him, shouting as he went.

"Let's go, Six!" he called out. "Whatever it is, you can run it off!"

Johnny pushed himself back into a slow run. After that, he managed to keep up pretty well, which Cloud found pretty annoying. The guy could go out and get trashed the night before and still perform better than he could on a good day. He couldn't be too upset over it. He'd practically made it his mission to bring Johnny back there. Now, Johnny was back. So now Cloud could get back to his primary goal. SOLDIER.

000

"The numbers are clear," one of the Finance directors spoke as he used a laser pointer to bring attention to some of the totals on a spreadsheet that was projected onto the one wall of the room. "The project is well within our budget," he added.

Zack was barely listening. He was trying not to fall asleep as he sat slouched in one of the boardroom chairs, not really caring if he looked as bored as he felt.

"But is the project necessary? That's the more important thing," one of the program directors challenged.

Zack resisted the urge to release an agitated sigh. The meeting was pointless. Just a bunch of higher-ups sitting around debating something they would likely vote in favor of anyway. There was really no reason for Zack to be there. But his presence was mandatory because he'd been one of the people to put together the projected numbers for the project being discussed. It was unlikely anyone would actually have a question for him. And indeed he was correct as finally the board members made their decision and the meeting was declared over. He dragged himself up from the chair, grabbing the few folders off the table in front of him and shooting Kunsel a look.

"I can't handle these meetings, man," he said tiredly. "One day I'm gonna hang myself from the projector screen."

"Pretty sure it wouldn't hold your weight," Kunsel replied as he was gathering his things.

"You callin' me fat?" Zack questioned.

"Yes," Kunsel answered with a smirk.

"Gee thanks," Zack said and his friend released a short laugh. "Well if I am fat it's 'cause all we do is sit around. I gotta get out of this place. I need something exciting to do."

"Well there's some inventory reports that need looked at. Those could be exciting," Kunsel suggested jokingly.

"I'm serious, Kunsel," Zack said as they left the board room and entered the hallway. "I'm going to talk to Lazard." Kunsel looked up at him.

"He's just gonna tell you what he's told you before," Kunsel pointed out.

"Well…guess we'll see," Zack retorted as he turned and began heading in the opposite direction toward the elevators. Kunsel stopped and looked after him a moment before shaking his head and continuing on his way to the offices.

Zack thought about what he was going to say while he rode the elevator to one of the higher floors in building. The fifty-ninth floor. He'd tried to talk to the SOLDIER program's executive manager several times before and had been denied. But that was something like five or six months ago. Since then, he'd just done his work and kept quiet. He couldn't do it anymore. He grinned a little in self-satisfaction when Lazard's secretary called into his office and was told to let Zack in.

When Zack entered, he found the well-groomed manager seated in front of the computer at his desk. He turned his chair to face him.

"Zack, good to see you," the manager spoke. "Have a seat," he offered. Zack sat down in one of the other chairs at the desk. "What can I do for you?" the man asked as he adjusted his thin-framed glasses a little.

"Well, for starters you could put me back on the mission list," Zack replied, wasting no time in getting to the point. The manager smiled tightly and cleared his throat a little before answering.

"Zack, as I've said before, it is protocol when a close friend is lost that a SOLDIER complete a six-week bereavement process with one of the program's counselors. Which you have yet to do."

Zack opened his mouth to argue but Lazard stopped him.

"And as you know," the manager went on "We did break protocol for you in the beginning. Because you seemed very sure that your emotions were not going to affect you in the field. And they did. Confirming for us the reason why the bereavement process is upheld."

The manager finished and Zack took a brief moment to think about what the man was saying.

"I get that, sir," he began his reply. "But it's been almost a year. I won't mess up like I did before." The manager sighed and looked away from Zack but Zack wasn't about to give up. "I'm being wasted, sir. All my training, my skills. They're useless if I'm not out there on missions. Please, sir, let me do what I was meant to do," he begged. Lazard looked at him and smiled.

"I do want to get you out in the field again, Zack. But you need to follow the protocol," the manager urged. Zack exhaled in frustration, sitting back in the chair and looking away. "I promise you, that if you do this, then I'll have you sent out on the first mission in January."

Zack returned his gaze to the manager. He groaned in protest before nodding slowly. "Alright," he agreed finally.

"Do you want me to set up the first appointment for you?" Lazard offered.

"No," Zack said through a short sigh. "I'll do it."

"Good," the manager said. Zack rose to his feet. "You'll be fine, don't worry," the man assured him. Zack nodded reluctantly as he headed for the door. He paused midway there, turning back.

"Sir," he spoke hesitantly and Lazard turned back to face him. "General Sephiroth…" he began but the manager interjected.

"Is still on personal leave."

"Don't suppose you could—"

"As I've said before, the general has asked that I not disclose his location and I've agreed to honor that request," Lazard said simply.

Zack scratched the back of his head. He smirked a little at the comment he was about to make. "You make him go through the bereavement process too?" he questioned. The manager raised an eyebrow.

"Nobody _makes _the general do anything, Zack, not even me."

That being said, Zack left, dreading the inevitable trip he had to make down to the Mental Awareness and Well-Being facility across the grounds.

000

Cloud stood in front of the line of phones in the Cadet Resource Center, staring down at the number written on his arm. He'd been putting off what he'd said he'd do. Slowly, he picked up the receiver on one of the phones and put in his ID number. He waited for the prompt to tell him to dial the number he wanted. He did so at a snail's pace, making sure each number he pressed with his index finger was the one he really wanted. He listened then to the ringing.

"Hello," a female voice answered after only two rings. Cloud had almost hoped there'd be no answer. He hadn't been particularly excited to talk to that girl, Sophie. He just hoped that once he told her Johnny was back at the Academy she'd say 'thank you' and hang up.

"Hi," he spoke into the receiver. "Is this Sophie?" he asked.

"Yeah, who's this?" the girl questioned.

"Cloud Strife. You called last night about—"

"Yeah I know. Did you find him?" she cut him off abruptly.

"Yeah, he's fine," Cloud replied.

"He's at the Academy?"

"Yeah."

"Where was he last night? At that club?" she questioned next.

"Yes," Cloud confirmed sharply, growing impatient.

"Was he high?" she asked and Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Look, if you care so much about him, then why don't you call him yourself?" Cloud suggested. "Or visit him?" There was silence on the other end of the line. "I gotta go," Cloud said after a moment.

"Thanks," the girl said then.

"You're welcome," Cloud said casually before hanging up the phone. He stared at the receiver where it sat. _If you care so much…_He really needed to take his own advice. Hesitantly, he picked the receiver up again, punching his ID number into the key pad before dialing the very long-distance number for back home. His mother picked up after the third ring.

"Hello?" she spoke almost in a questioning tone, like she was surprised someone was calling her. No doubt she was. When Cloud had lived at home the phone rarely rang. Most times that it did it was a person who'd dialed the wrong number.

"Mom, hi, it's me," he said a little awkwardly.

"Oh, Cloud!" his mom said happily, her excitement clear. "I was beginning to think I'd never hear from you again," she said with a laugh.

"Yeah, it's been pretty busy and mail doesn't get sent out very often," Cloud explained. "How've you been?" he inquired.

"I've been well. But I've missed you, are you keeping yourself healthy and working hard?" she asked.

"Yeah, I have—"

"When will you be home for Christmas?" his mother interrupted. It sounded like there was someone talking to her in the background. Before Cloud had a chance to answer his mother spoke again. "Oh, Cloud, Tifa's here, she wants to talk to you."

Cloud froze.

"Cloud?" Tifa's voice drifted through the receiver that he let slip from his hand. He snatched it up quickly. "Cloud? Hello?"

"Uh, hi," Cloud said as he finally found his voice.

"Cloud, you sound different," Tifa said with a smile in her voice. He could almost see it.

"I do?" he questioned. He cleared his throat a little. "That's weird," he added, not really knowing what to say.

"I wrote you a letter. I mailed it a few weeks ago, have you gotten it yet?" she questioned.

"Uhh…no, no letter," he denied. He was lighting up on the inside over the thought that there was something headed toward him though.

"Soon hopefully," Tifa said with a small sigh. "I really miss you, Cloud."

The words wrapped themselves around Cloud. He blushed a little and was thankful to be standing alone at the phones.

"I-I miss you too," he replied somewhat lamely. It just sounded strange to him when he said it. Though he did mean it.

"I have to go. I'll give you back to your mother," she said cheerily and he waited to hear his mother's voice again. His mom went on and on about several things, none of which Cloud was really paying attention too. He uttered some 'yeahs' and 'uh huhs' all the while thinking the same thing over and over. _She misses me?_


	13. Chapter 12

_Hello hello, readers! FINALLY, here's the next chapter. I had someone visiting me this week so that's why I didn't get it out sooner. I'd be rude to write in front of company...or something haha! Anyway, thanks for waiting! Enjoy! _

_Disclaimer: No own FFVII. _

Chapter XII

Zack's feet seemed stuck to the ground as he stood outside of one of the grey and white medical buildings on the property. He glanced first at the letters on the building. _Mental Awareness and Well-Being_. He stared then at the stairs leading up to a set of double glass doors.

"Why is this so goddamn hard for me?" he questioned aloud. Sighing in frustration, he cursed before finally forcing himself up those cement steps toward the doors. He gripped the metal handle of one in his hand and pulled the door open. He paused as a nurse was heading out, holding the door open for her and smiling brightly.

"Thank you," she said politely as she passed through the doorway.

"No problem," he replied happily, watching her a moment as she descended the front steps. "Wow…" he muttered as he reveled briefly in how attractive she was. He'd momentarily forgotten where he was going as he headed into the building. It didn't take long for his spirits to fall once again as he realized. He plodded along with his hands in his pockets as he made his way down to the counseling section of the building. He was hesitant in approaching the receptionist there. But he perked himself up with the thought that he was only making the appointment, not actually going to see the therapist.

"Can I help you, sir?" the receptionist asked, though he was still a few feet from her desk. He wouldn't be surprised if she did that to help prevent a person from having second thoughts and leaving.

"Uh, yeah," Zack answered reluctantly. "I need an appointment."

"Alright," the receptionist said with a nod before turning to her computer. "Is this your first visit?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered without looking at her. His eyes were focused on a calendar behind her on the wall. Puppies.

_"You wouldn't happen to be Zack, the puppy?"_ He recalled what Angeal's mother had said to him. _"My son told me all about you in his letters. Zero concentration. And like a puppy, he never calms down."_

He turned his head as he swallowed hard. There wasn't a day that went by that he wasn't reminded of his former mentor.

"Are you free today?" the receptionist asked then, drawing his attention back.

"Excuse me?" he replied as he shook his head a little.

"Are you available today, sir? For an appointment?" she clarified.

"Today?" Zack echoed in slight surprise. _Too soon…_

"Yes, sir. One of the councilors is free in twenty minutes."

Zack stared at her, his mouth open though he wasn't sure what he should say. He wasn't expecting to get an appointment right away. He wasn't ready to talk…but then…maybe he'd never be ready. He wanted to be back on the mission list and the only way to do that was to get the whole counseling thing done with. And it wasn't like he had anything to do that day…

"Fine," he said at last. "Sure."

"Alright, your name, sir?" the receptionist inquired.

"Zack Fair," he mumbled. He hated the thought that his name was going to be in the system. He would be on record now as having gone to see a head doctor. There had been plenty of times he'd recommended others to see a therapist but he didn't think _he _was going to have to.

"Thank you, sir," the receptionist said before turning and pulling a form from a shelf next to her. "Please fill this out and the councilor will be with you shortly. Zack took the form from her and took one of the pens in a cup on her desk before making his way over to one of the empty chairs in the waiting area. He scanned over the form first before filling anything out. There was the usual. Name, rank, age. Then a series of other questions about his concerns, goals and _feelings_. There was a spot for him to fill out his primary reason for seeking counseling. He seriously considered writing down 'Because protocol is a jackass' but he didn't.

After a few minutes, he was jiggling his one knee as he waited nervously with the completed form in his hand. He watched the closed door that presumably led to the councilors' offices. He feared seeing someone he knew come through that door. He was determined to not have anyone know he had issues that warranted a visit to the mental health facility. He didn't want to be treated the way even he had sometimes treated others in his position. Like they were _fragile_. He wasn't going to freak out or fall into a crying mess if someone happened to mention what had happened to Angeal. He was over it. Mostly.

When the door across from him opened, he nearly jumped. A second class officer walked through the doorway. Zack didn't recognize him.

"Same time next week?" the receptionist questioned and the officer nodded before departing. Only another minute or so passed before the door was opened again and a man appeared. He talked to the receptionist a moment before turning toward Zack.

"Zack?" the man questioned and Zack's stomach seemed to leap and fall at the same time. He nodded before rising from his seat and approaching the man.

"My name's Greg," the man greeted him with an extended hand. Zack took the man's hand and shook it firmly before following him through that ominous door across the room and into a hallway. "It's getting colder outside. Can't say I mind the snow. It's the cold I don't favor," the man started on.

"Yeah," Zack agreed, rolling his eyes as he walked behind him. _Beginning with the weather. Not typical at all_, he thought to himself.

"Come in and have a seat," Greg spoke again when they reached his office. Zack entered the small room slowly, watching with mild dread as the man closed the door, trapping them both inside. He sank down into the chair behind him. "I'll take that from you," Greg said as he reached out to take the form Zack had completed. The man looked over it as Zack eyed the room, taking note of the mass of psychology texts and some pictures hanging on the walls. He got the feeling he was going to become very familiar with those few pictures. Something to focus on and ground himself when he was expected to…talk.

"Hmmm…so," Greg said after looking over Zack's form. "You're here because you've been ordered to participate in the six-week bereavement program. Correct?"

_You know it's correct_, Zack thought. _That's why it's written on the paper_. "That's right," he answered.

"Who is it that you lost?" the man asked softly, setting Zack's form down on his desk.

_I didn't really lose him. I know where he is. _"My mentor…and friend," he said at last.

"His name?" Greg asked as he began to take down some notes.

"Angeal," Zack said his name sadly. "Angeal Hewley." He could tell that the councilor recognized the name.

"Were you present? At the time of his death?" the man questioned. Zack's eyes found their way to one of those pictures on the wall. It was abstract. Merely colors.

"Yes," he said with a slight nod. Then he said those words he'd never quite been able to say aloud. "I'm the one who killed him."

000

"Man, I'm so ready for that Dorm Challenge at the end of the week," Lou said as he was retying his boots. He, as well as the other cadets, had just finished their Monday morning training and were readying themselves for classes. "At least after it's finished we can go back to only having our asses moderately kicked on the field in the mornings."

"No kidding," Paul agreed. "I hope our dorm doesn't suck. Tanner's gonna go nuts on us if we don't win at least _something_."

Cloud had to admit he was feeling pretty optimistic about the Challenge. He was actually excited for it. Something to break the monotony of the routine they were subjected to every day.

He rose slowly from where he was crouched in front of his dresser drawers when he heard Paul say something else.

"So, Johnny, you still not talking to us?"

Johnny had just returned from the showers. It was true, the cadet had said basically nothing to he or Paul the day before. After morning exercises, he'd disappeared for his probation work. Cloud figured Zack must have talked to the right people about having Johnny's brief AWOL stint overlooked. Johnny returned to the dorm that night and had gone to bed immediately, even before lights out.

"There something I'm supposed to be talking to you about?" Johnny replied casually as he put on some socks.

Paul scoffed. "Are you seriously pissed because we went looking for you Saturday night?" he questioned. Lou looked at them.

"Went looking for you where?" he asked curiously.

"Honestly, I don't remember a hell of a lot from Saturday night," Johnny said with a shrug as he put on his boots.

"Where were you Saturday night? Did you go off-campus?" Lou prodded. Paul and Johnny continued to ignore him.

"So you _don't _remember seeing us outside that club," Paul asked.

"What club?" Lou said as he looked at Cloud. Cloud averted his eyes promptly. Johnny shrugged again. Cloud knew as well as Paul that Johnny remembered seeing them there. But he wasn't so sure Johnny was angry at them. More…embarrassed.

"We risked our enrollment in the program for you. And you don't even care!" Paul spouted, his voice gaining in volume.

"What do you want, Paul?" Johnny fired back at him, bringing himself within a few inches of his bunkmate. "A fucking medal?"

Paul shoved him back a few steps. "A fucking 'thank you' would be nice!"

Cloud glanced around to see a few of the other cadets watching, looking excited at the prospect that a fight might occur. Johnny's hands were curled into fists, hit-ready. But he never used them. Closing the gap between he and Paul once more he muttered lowly "You should have left me there" before grabbing a few books from his bunk and pushing past him.

Cloud was more than happy to depart from the dorm and make his way to his first class of the day. He enveloped himself in those classes, eager to immerse himself in something drama-free. Too bad classes weren't without their own drama…

Technics class. The week before, an in-class test had been given to half the class. The second half was to be tested today. The cadets were situated in a line in front of a long table, each with an improvised explosive device in front of him. There was a timer in front of each cadet as well, though the clock faced away from them. They were to diffuse and then re-wire their IED. The instructor explained that when the cadets had finished they were to press the stop button on the timer and step back from the line. They would wait there until the others had finished. Cloud was as confident as he was nervous. It wasn't a real IED. If he made a mistake it wasn't going to blow up in his face. At the same time, he wanted so badly to be the first to finish. The previous week, Steven Brice had finished first. And not just finished. He'd secured a record time. One minute and forty-two seconds. Cloud visualized that number. He wasn't expecting to do better. But he would try to be close. Brice had gotten a lot of praise for his accomplishment. Cloud could certainly do with a bit of praise himself.

He waited with the others in the line, looking down at the piece of cloth covering the IED, placed there so he couldn't mentally deconstruct it before the test began.

"Alright, gentlemen," Instructor Von spoke up. "Test begins…now!"

The cloths came off together as each of the cadets ripped theirs away. Cloud stared down at the device only a split second before diving into the task ahead of him. His hands stayed steady though he seemed to be shaking everywhere else. Adrenaline was rushing through him and he swore he could hear his own heart beating. He imagined in his head that minutes were passing though he knew that was unlikely. Seconds felt like minutes on a test like that. Still, he was completely unsure of what his time was when he finished. He hit the stop on the timer in front of him and stepped back from the line, glancing back and forth to see to his utter amazement he'd been the first to finish. He was relieved. And at the same time confused. He expected to see the others finishing almost immediately after him but no, it was a full thirty seconds or so before anyone else had joined him outside of the line. Had he done it wrong? The device was supposed to buzz at you if you messed up.

It was another minute before the line was finished completely. One final cadet had taken about a half-minute longer than the rest of the group. Cloud inwardly chuckled because he knew what it felt like to finish last in something. It had happened to him a lot in the past.

"Well," the instructor began, looking at the cadets. "Some of you may actually have some decent times. Others, not so much." He walked down the line in front of the table, looking at the timers. "Some of you did _very _well," Von remarked as he finished his inspection. He stopped in front of Cloud. "Brice," he called behind him. Brice looked up from the paper test he was working on. Cloud had taken that test the week before. The cadet rose from his seat and came forward hesitantly.

"Sir?" he spoke and Von looked at him.

"Would you tell me what Strife's timer says?" the instructor requested. Brice looked down at the timer. His eyes widened slightly before his brow furrowed.

"One twenty-one, sir," the cadet answered reluctantly.

A few of the cadets actually gasped. Cloud's mouth fell open slightly in shock. He hadn't thought he'd been _that _fast.

"Seems we have a new record holder," the instructor announced. "And not only that, but Strife's time makes yours look pathetic," he added as he looked down at Brice. Cloud watched Brice's face growing red with embarrassment. Not just embarrassment. Anger too.

"Maybe now you'll climb down off that high horse of yours," Von went on, chiding Brice. "Oh, and I'm sure Strife wouldn't mind giving you some tips for the next test," he added.

Cloud had to hold back the urge to tell the instructor to shut up. While he was enjoying the glory of being a new record holder, the longer Von went on about it the more likely he was to have his ass kicked. Brice was practically seething when Von told him to go back to his seat.

"Good job, Strife," the instructor said then.

"Thank you, sir," Cloud replied with a curt nod.

"Looks like the rest of you better step it up," Von said to the rest of the room. Cloud tried to hold back his smile and not make eye-contact with any of the other boys in the room.

His victory was going to come back to kick him in the ass. He knew it would. He just didn't expect it to be so soon. It was later that night, around 8 p.m., that he realized just how angry Brice must have been over losing his title. Cloud had been in the dorm, busy helping Paul study for a test the next day when Tanner approached him.

"Strife," the officer called to him as he approached. Cloud stood promptly.

"Yes, sir?" he responded and the officer held a small piece of paper out for him to take.

"You've been challenged to an extra-curricular fight tomorrow," the officer explained. Cloud stared down at the paper, not wanting to touch it. He took it reluctantly.

"Thank you, sir," he muttered though he was in no way thankful for it. The officer said nothing and wasted no time in turning and departing the way he came.

"Who the hell challenged you?" Lou asked as he jumped down from his bunk.

Slowly Cloud unfolded the piece of paper. His stomach sank though he'd already known whose name he'd see. "Brice," he said lowly.

"Brice?!" Paul echoed as he too came to a stand and moved closer so he could see the paper. "What's _his_ problem?"

"He's pissed 'cause I beat his record time in an IED test in Technics. The instructor made kinda a big deal of it. Embarrassed him a bit," Cloud explained.

"That was you?" Paul exclaimed. "Ha! The instructor was still going on about it in our class. You definitely deserve the praise. That was an awesome time."

"Not feeling so great about it now," Cloud mumbled without tearing his eyes off the little paper.

"What's the combat form he requested?" Lou asked.

"Goju-ryu," Paul read it out. "He _would _pick that," he added. He looked up at Cloud, taking note of his dismayed expression. "Don't worry, Cloud. You'll do great, I'm sure," he said positively.

Cloud wasn't feeling positive at all. He abandoned the dorm almost immediately and headed down to the training facility. He wasn't feeling overly confident about his Goju-ryu abilities. He needed to practice. He stopped suddenly when he entered one of the combat training rooms, seeing that the room was already occupied. Zack was in the middle of a series of practice swings with a katana when he became aware of Cloud's presence.

"Oh, hey, Cloud," Zack greeted him and smiled.

"Hi," Cloud responded a little awkwardly.

"Interested in working on your sword technique?" the officer asked as he swung the long blade around in his hand.

"No, sir," Cloud replied. "I mean, yes, sir," he corrected himself. "I am. Very interested…but there's something else I need to work on right now," he explained.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Zack inquired.

"My karate skills. I've got an extra-curricular fight tomorrow."

"Pah, piece of cake," Zack said with a wave of his hand. "I can help you out if you want." Cloud smiled.

"That'd be great," he said as he tried not to sound _too _ecstatic.

Of course, Zack was far more advanced than Cloud. Cloud had known that already. Seeing the skills that the officer possessed made him that much more eager to get into the SOLDIER program. Cadets were only shown the basics of combat in their classes. There was _so _much more to learn. Zack blocked everything he threw at him and the officer urged him not to hold back for fear of hurting him.

"I'd be impressed if you were actually able to make a contact-hit," Zack had said in the beginning. Cloud had no such hopes. Perhaps that's why it was such a shock to him when he actually did manage to make contact with the officer. One of his kicks actually found their way to Zack's chest, knocking him down on the mat. Zack landed on his back, a short huffing sound leaving him as the air was knocked from his lungs. For a moment, Cloud could only stare, wide-eyed.

"Oh my god," he exclaimed at last in surprise. "I-I'm sorry, sir, I was sure you were going to block me!"

Zack laughed a little between soft pants. "Well," he said as he took Cloud's outreached hand and started to rise. "Something tells me you're gonna do alright tomorrow. I'm impressed."

"Sorry," Cloud said once again as Zack was leaning over slightly, catching his breath. He stood straight and patted Cloud on the back.

"I'm fine," he assured Cloud before heading over to one of the benches where he'd left a bottle of water. He sat down and motioned for Cloud to join him. Cloud watched the officer a moment before speaking on something he'd been wondering about.

"I come here almost every night, sir, and this is the first time I've seen you," he pointed out before taking a sip of his own water.

"Yeah…" Zack began to answer, nodding slowly. "I train with the other first class officers most of the time. I just…had a lot on my mind today," he explained. Cloud lowered his gaze as he thought once again about what Kunsel had said to him the other night when they went out to get Johnny. He'd been thinking about it a lot. Now, he felt he needed to say something.

"I have to apologize for something, sir," he spoke and Zack looked at him.

"Again?" he asked with a short laugh. Cloud smiled briefly before becoming serious once more.

"I need to apologize for calling you the other night. For asking you to come help bring Johnny back to the Academy. I wasn't really thinking about the trouble you could get in for helping us."

"I didn't get in any trouble," Zack said.

"I know…but you could have. We never should have gone out in the first place. And I'm sorry for inconveniencing you, for…jeopardizing your rank." Cloud said sincerely. When he met Zack's eyes he saw that one of his brows was raised suspiciously.

"Did my friend, Kunsel say something to you?" he inquired. Cloud was going to deny it but he said nothing instead. "I'll kill him," Zack said then as he rose from the bench.

"No!" Cloud said fast as he grabbed Zack's arm and pulled him back down. He hadn't really meant to. He'd done it out of reflex. "Sorry, sir," he said quickly before going on. "He was right. And well…he cares about you. So…you can't blame him."

Zack sighed before running his hands through his hair and leaning back. "It's a good thing that you called, Cloud. It was the right thing," he said as he met the cadet's eyes.

"I dunno," Cloud said as he shook his head. "Probably shouldn't have bothered going after Johnny in the first place," he added sullenly.

"Why's that?" the officer asked.

"Because, I don't even think Johnny really wants to be here."

Zack thought about it a moment before answering. "Ya know, I think he tries to pretend he doesn't want to be here. But deep down, I believe he does." Cloud shrugged lightly. Zack continued. "He's lucky to have you as a friend."

"We aren't really _friends_," Cloud replied.

"Why not?" Zack asked.

"I dunno…I don't really have friends."

"Sure you do. Surely you consider Paul Tousa your friend," Zack suggested.

Cloud looked up at him a moment before taking another drink of water. "I suppose."

"Well, I'm your friend," Zack said then, drawing a skeptical look from Cloud. "What?"

"I'm a cadet," Cloud stated.

"Yeah. So?"

"You're a first class officer."

"Yeah?" Zack replied. Cloud just looked away. Sighing, Zack continued. "I don't think any higher of myself 'cause of my rank. I'm just a person. Like you."

"You _should _think higher of yourself. Being promoted to First Class is a huge accomplishment. The greatest," Cloud said in semi-awe as he thought about it.

Zack nudged him. "You could make it there one day ya know."

Cloud half-scoffed and laughed at the same time. "I'm not gonna be a First Class SOLDIER," he stated firmly. "I'll be lucky to be in SOLDIER at all. Second Class. That's all I want."

Zack smiled sadly at the statement. "I think _you _need to start thinking higher of yourself," he said before rising from the bench. "You can do anything you want, trust me." Cloud gave a weak smile in return. Zack glanced at his watch. "I gotta get going. Good luck tomorrow. Though I know you don't need luck. You'll do fine," he said with a sure nod.

"Thank you for taking the time to help me practice, sir," Cloud said as he stood as well.

"Sure. And hey, if you ever need help with anything or want someone to spar with, let me know, I'm sure I'll be able to find the time," the officer said with a wink before pushing one of the doors to the hall open and stepping out. He gave a short wave before departing.

Left alone, Cloud thought about the upcoming fight. The past few hours of practice with Zack had made him more confident than he'd thought possible. Still…it was going to be nerve-wracking, and in no way predictable. Someone was likely to get hurt. He just hoped it wasn't him.


	14. Chapter 13

_Hey guys, thanks for all your reviews. As you have probably guessed, there is a karate fight in this chapter and I have to apologize in advance if I sound like I have no idea what I'm talking about when I mention the moves or techniques. I did my research but obviously it's a pretty densely packed art in terms of such things. Hopefully what I wrote sounds semi-believable. Thanks guys! _

_Disclaimer: I don't le own le Final Fantasy VII_

Chapter XIII

Zack whistled to himself as he entered the slums of the city, headed for Sector 5. It had been over a week since he'd had the spare time to get down there. It couldn't have been better timing. He needed to de-stress and there was no place he'd rather go to do that. The slums had never been anything special to him, not until that one day over a year earlier, a fight with Angeal in a mako reactor had found him falling from the reactor and into a church in the slums below. The church's roof had broken his fall and prevented him from being seriously injured. It was a critical day in Zack's memory for two reasons. It was the first day Zack realized that the mentor he'd come to trust and care for was slipping away from him. But it was also the day that he met Aeris.

Aeris Gainsborough. As he opened his eyes after his fall and found her standing over him, only one thing went through his mind. That she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Her long, honey brown hair, her bright green eyes, the soft blue dress she wore. He thought he was staring at an angel. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Over a year later and he was still as captivated by her. Not just because he was attracted to her but because she was the kindest, most gentle and caring person he'd ever met. And there was something about her. An air of mystery and something deep and profound. He'd never been able to figure it out.

As he pushed open one of the doors to what he had come to see as _her _church, he was about to make one of his boisterous entrances. He paused when he noticed Aeris lying on a blanket next to her incredible flower bed, her head resting on her one arm. She appeared to be asleep. He kept his steps quiet as he approached her, removing his weapon and its sheath from his back and setting them down softly before lowering himself next to her, facing her. He glanced once at her flowers. It never ceased to amaze him how well they grew down there in the broken floor of the half-ruined church. It was the only place in Midgar that he'd seen them.

Lying on his side with his head propped up in his one hand, he watched the girl sleep. He knew it wouldn't be long until she felt his presence. It didn't matter if she was awake or asleep or if he put on his best act of stealth. She always knew when he was near. He watched as her eyes fluttered open and her lips formed into a soft smile.

"Well if it isn't Zackary Fair," she remarked, her eyes lighting up a little brighter. Zack rolled his eyes.

"Don't call me Zackary," he replied only half-seriously. Really, she could call him anything she wanted. But only her.

She giggled lightly, knowing how much the name annoyed him. "You're late," she said then and he sighed, turning onto his back.

"I know," he responded a little shamefully. "I was wrapped up in something at work," he explained.

"And how's that going?" she questioned as she propped herself up on an elbow.

"Eh. Ya know. It's work," he said dully. "Oh!" he exclaimed happily as he turned to face her again. "I'm _finally _going to be going on a mission again!"

"Really?" she replied with another one of her smiles that always made Zack want to kiss her. "When's that?"

"Not 'till January," he answered. "But it's gonna be great. I can't wait to get back out in the field!"

"That's great, Zack," she said before becoming a little more serious. "But…I thought you were told that you wouldn't be allowed out on missions until you'd seen one of the councilors."

"Yeah," Zack confirmed with a nod. "I, uh, thought I would be able to get out of that but…well I went for the first appointment the day before yesterday," he revealed as he looked down at the material of the blanket beneath them.

"That's really good, Zack," Aeris said as she inched a little closer to him. He looked up at her once more. "I'm really proud of you," she added, reaching out to move a bit of his hair from his face. He took her hand and placed a small kiss on it.

"Thank you," he spoke before leaning in to share another kiss with her. When they'd parted lips, they lay together on the blanket while Aeris talked of how her flower sales had been going. Zack had been the one to first suggest to her that she try to sell some of her flowers, assuring her that people in the city would happily spend their money on something so rarely seen. She took his advice and had been using the money from her sales to help support her mother. Jobs weren't the easiest to come by in the slums.

"How long can you stay?" Aeris asked at one point and Zack looked down at his watch.

"Not very long," he said. "I have some more work that needs to be done by this evening. And actually, there's something else."

"What?" she questioned interestedly.

"Uh, well…" he began hesitantly. "I don't want you to think I'm skipping out on seeing you for nothing. It may seem like nothing but, I just sorta wanna be there for it."

"For what?" she said with a light laugh.

"This cadet I know. He's got this extra-curricular fight this afternoon with another cadet," he explained awkwardly. "I think it's kinda a big deal for him. I just thought it would be cool to be there for him, ya know?"

She smiled wider. "Of course. That's really sweet of you," she said.

Zack scoffed. "You don't have to make it sound all corny," he pointed out and she laughed.

"Well I'm sure he'll be happy to have you there."

Zack smirked at the thought. Cloud _might _be happy to have him there during the fight. But then again, he might also be embarrassed or something of the like. It was difficult to read the kid sometimes.

000

To say Cloud was a little nervous about his upcoming fight that afternoon would be a bit of an understatement. A lot of an understatement actually. He was actually a little scared. More because he feared getting hurt again and being set back in his training. It wasn't like the instructors monitoring the fight were going to let him get beaten beyond recognition but something simple, like not being able to block a hard strike to a particular weak spot in his body, could do enough damage on his own.

He sighed in frustration, drawing a look from his English instructor that had him lowering his head. He was supposed to be writing a test and he was beyond distracted. All because Brice couldn't stand to have someone top him at something. Though perhaps it was just the fact that it was Cloud that had been the one to surpass him. Someone shorter and probably weaker physically. The fact that the fight was going to be watched by a large amount of people didn't make Cloud feel any better either. Brice had shot him a few looks and comments through the morning, his cocky attitude never waning. By the time classes finished and he was making his way down to the training facility where the fight was being held, Cloud just wanted the whole thing over with.

The first thing he noticed when he entered the large room serving as the venue was that there were far more people present than he'd been expecting. The walls were lined with cadets and a few lower-ranking officers. Another fight was in progress inside the designated battle area. Cloud spotted Brice standing with a few of his friends. He sneered at Cloud when he looked his way. He heard someone call his name and turned to see Paul and Lou standing not far away. He approached them slowly. He didn't know if he was all that interested in talking to anyone at the moment. He probably could have thrown up if he thought about it hard enough.

"Hey!" Paul greeted when he joined him and Lou.

"Hey," Cloud responded less than enthusiastically.

"Are you nervous?" Paul inquired and Cloud looked at him.

"Why would I be nervous? Because I'm probably gonna get my ass kicked in front of like every cadet in the Initiate Program. Plus officers?"

"At least he's realistic about things," Lou piped up and Paul gave him a scolding look.

"Why do you have to be such a jerk?" he questioned.

Lou shrugged. "Just comes naturally I guess," he said with a smirk. Cloud wasn't really paying attention to either of them. He was busy watching the current fight. There was a collectively uttered "ooooh" as one of the cadets fighting took a hit to his face that split open his lower lip. Cloud had read up on the rules and regulations of an extra-curricular fight. Basically, most things were allowed outside of gouging, biting and the use of fingernails. If an opponent was down, even just on one knee, you would not be permitted to strike. The opponent would have a count of five seconds to return to battle-ready position before the fight would be declared over. Of course, if a cadet was getting pulverized but refused to give in then the referee would declare a draw and the fight would be over. A certain amount of blood being drawn was acceptable. If a fight began and one cadet's skill level was found to be significantly below that of the other's than the fight would be called off. It was expected of every cadet that they know enough about blocking to defend themselves adequately. Above all, fighters were urged to be respectful of each other. Cloud seriously doubted Brice's ability to adhere to that.

The current fight ended abruptly when one cadet was flipped onto his back and forfeited, apparently needing longer than five seconds to get his wind back. The winner was announced that the area cleared for the next fight. The referee called out the names. Brice and Strife.

One thing went through Cloud's head as he approached the battle area. _Shit_.

"I'm surprised you showed up," Brice said as they stopped and stood opposite each other. Cloud rolled his eyes and Brice added "You're gonna make friends today. With the floor." He laughed a little at his own joke.

"Bite me," Cloud muttered, just loud enough for Brice to hear. The cadet stopped laughing but smirked smugly.

"Alright, gentlemen, you are engaging in Goju-ryu karate fight. You're both aware of the rules you must follow?" the referee spoke.

"Yes, sir," both Cloud and Brice replied.

"Good, bow and begin," the man ordered before stepping back.

Cloud and Brice both did as they were instructed, bowing to one another despite the fact it was a pointless gesture. There wasn't really the respect between them that should have been there.

Zack walked into the room just as the fight was about to start. He stayed more to the back of the circle of cadets, returning smiles and waves to a few of the ones from his dorm. He looked toward the battle area then, seeing Cloud in the center with his opponent. He vaguely recognized the other cadet from his time spent working with Cloud's class group on some weaponry techniques. As far as he could tell the kid was gifted in a lot of ways. And annoyingly arrogant. Officers weren't supposed to play favorites but he certainly would have liked to see Cloud win the fight.

The fight began lightly. A few jabs that were easily blocked by both boys. Some shuffling. But things escalated quickly as Brice began throwing faster punches, testing Cloud's ability to be able to keep up. After about a minute, it became clear that Brice seemed to want to keep them fighting close together, probably to maximize the damage he was trying to cause. Cloud was more set on keeping his distance, throwing a lunge punch whenever possible to push Brice back. It was difficult, Brice was fast. There was a reason he chose Goju-ryu as the style for their fight. He was familiar with it. He'd had some training in it before entering the Academy. Unfortunately, his skill level wasn't that much more advanced that Cloud wasn't permitted to take on the challenge. He knew the same techniques, and his blocks were good enough that anyone watching didn't really get the sense that one opponent was better than the other. One just seemed more aggressive.

Aggressive was right. Brice threw out some moves that Cloud wasn't even sure he was allowed to use. One such move was a straight punch but instead of a closed fist, Brice kept one knuckle extended and raised above the others, using it to connect deeply with Cloud's rib cage. It must have been legal because the ref made no call to suggest otherwise but it was certainly a move that hurt like hell.

Zack didn't like it. He watched Brice's strikes closely and knew that while a move like that was certainly legal, it wasn't praised. Extra-curricular fights were supposed to be 'friendly' fights. There was no need for excessive force or further pain-induction.

Looking on the bright side, it may have been a good thing Brice was fighting the way he was. He forced Cloud to make himself move faster and keep his reflexes sharper. After the first few minutes, Cloud was confident the fight could go either way. He landed some consecutive punches on Brice before throwing him a hit to the centre of his chest that hand him stumbling back. After that, Brice seemed to become more serious. He came toward Cloud fast, faking an upward punch that he knew Cloud would block and using the opening to make some quick jabs.

The punches came fast to Cloud's abdomen. Cloud had been a least somewhat prepared for the strikes but they still hurt. After the last strike, he saw Brice's elbow coming toward him but he wasn't quick enough to dodge it. The hit connected with his right brow bone, splitting the skin and releasing a line of blood that mixed with his sweat and rushed towards his eye. There wasn't much time to dwell on the injury as Brice wasted no time in delivering a front kick to his stomach. The air in his chest was stolen away by the force of the kick. He was down on one knee before he could blink. The referee stepped between them and placed a hand firmly on Brice's chest, keeping him from advancing, as he most surely would have, whether Cloud was down or not. The ref began the count of five. The count that would end with Brice the winner. There was a moment when Cloud thought about giving in. It would be easier. And humiliating.

"Come on, kid," Zack spoke aloud, knowing it wasn't going to be heard above the loud calls of some of the cadets around him. As the ref called 'five,' Cloud had begun to rise, putting the fight back into motion.

There had been no real time to for Cloud to recover, but he managed to push aside the pain he was feeling in order to continue. The ref stepped away to allow the fight to go on. Brice was in no way the courteous type of opponent. Cloud knew that. That's why he'd been expecting an immediate attack from him when the ref had moved. As Brice reached out toward him for a strike, Cloud was able to evade him. Wasting not a single second, Cloud pushed through the balls of his feet and went for Brice's face, sending a palm heel strike into his cheekbone. If it weren't an extracurricular fight he would have aimed for his nose, but he wasn't trying to hurt Brice too seriously.

It was enough to bring the fight back in Cloud's favor as Brice stumbled back, grasping the side of his face. Cloud decided to take a lesson from his opponent and not spare any time in striking Brice while he was off-guard. Strike after strike, Cloud's hands were tired and though Brice was able to block most of his hits, he was still visibly losing. If Cloud was going to win, he needed to end the fight now.

It was a rising punch that took Brice down. A hit like an uppercut that drove into his jaw and had him falling backwards. The ref stepped back into the battle area, placing a hand on Cloud the way he had done with Brice before, even though Cloud wasn't showing any signs that indicated he would advance on Brice while he was down on the floor.

As the ref began the count, Brice actually sat up and for a moment it seemed he was going to rise and get back to his feet. Cloud held his breath as he waited, dreading the thought of having to continue the fight. All eyes were on Brice. He pulled his way onto his one knee, grasping his jaw with his one hand.

_Come on, ref, call it!_ Cloud begged silently.

When the number 'five' was called out, Brice moved, but it wasn't to rise. He remained on one knee as he opened his mouth and spit out a mouthful of blood and saliva onto the floor. Cloud released his breath and the momentary silence in the room burst into a variety of calls and sounds from the cadets that Cloud couldn't have deciphered if he'd tried. He was too overcome with relief and amazement. The referee announced him as the winner while Brice glared up at him from the floor. That unsettling image was intercepted by Paul bounding up in front of him, Lou following closely.

"Holy crap!" he blurted excitedly. "You kicked his ass!"

"Yeah, I'm shocked," Lou added. Cloud frowned a little.

"Thanks, Lou," he replied as he reached up to touch the cut on the side of his right eyebrow, using his palm to wipe at the blood still trailing. Cloud looked past the two boys and spotted someone he hadn't expected to be there. Officer Fair. He looked to be making his way over to him but he kept getting stopped by cadets. Cloud wished right then that he were in Zack's dorm instead of Tanner's. The cadets in Zack's dorm actually shared something of a friendship with him. It wasn't like that with Tanner. Tanner was never around unless he was supposed to be and he displayed no obvious interest in wanting to get to know any of the cadets in his charge.

Finally, Zack was able to tear himself away in order to congratulate Cloud on his win.

"Hey guys," he spoke up brightly as he stopped next to Paul.

"Sir," all three greeted

"You did great!" Zack said then as he turned to Cloud. "Told ya you had nothing to worry about."

"You were watching?" Cloud replied a little lamely.

"Duh," the officer answered fast. "Got yourself a bit of nasty cut there though. You alright?"

"Yeah," Cloud agreed, turning when he heard his last name called. He turned to face Tanner coming toward him.

"Fair," the officer greeted Zack with a nod before looking at Cloud. "Good job, Strife," he said firmly.

"Thank you, sir," Cloud responded as he moved his hand from his face to stand a little more formally.

"You should fight more often. Make the dorm look good," Tanner suggested. "Make sure you get to the infirmary to have that cut looked at. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," Cloud agreed reluctantly. He hadn't thought about the fact that he'd be expected to make a trip to the infirmary. He dreaded the thought. All that paperwork…

As Tanner departed and the referee called out the next two fighter's names, Zack placed a hand on Cloud's shoulder and guided him toward the locker room with Paul and Lou following.

"Forget the infirmary," he said when they'd entered the room. "All you need is a bit of clean-up and a butterfly bandage. Wait here," he ordered before departing a moment, heading around the corner where he unlocked a first aid supply locker and retrieved the few things he needed. While Cloud waited, he listened to Paul recounting the fight one punch at a time. He actually laughed a few times at his over-acted replays. Paul paused as the door to the locker room opened abruptly. Brice came through the door, followed by Curtis Dolt and another of their friends.

Brice stood just inside the door a moment, his dark eyes never leaving Cloud's. He said one word before marching forward. '_You_.' Cloud rose from the bench where he was sitting, standing firmly and waiting as Brice approached. He half-expected the cadet to throw a punch. And maybe he would have, had Lou not stepped in front of him.

"Get out of my way," Brice demanded but Lou stayed where he was. "Move!" Brice nearly shouted.

"Why don't you make me?" Lou fired back. "You don't fuckin' scare me," he added, speaking close to Brice's face. There were likely a few reasons Lou wasn't intimidated by Brice and one of the reasons was that he was bigger. Not really taller, they were both about the same height, but Lou was wider, more muscular.

"Problem, guys?" a voice questioned and all eyes turned in the direction where Zack was standing. There was a brief awkward silence before Brice and his friends stepped back from Lou a few feet.

"No, sir," they each replied.

"Then move along," Zack ordered. Brice seemed a little hesitant in leaving but finally he did so, followed by his buddies. When they'd left, Zack's first instinct was to say to Cloud that if Brice continued to give him trouble he should let him know. But given the fact that Paul and Lou were there, he decided against it, knowing it would likely embarrass him. Instead, he set to work on helping Cloud get his newly-obtained battle wound fixed up.

"There," he said after he'd cleaned the area with alcohol and placed the butterfly bandage over the cut. "I think you can take it from here," he added.

"Thanks," Cloud said with a smile. He was more than grateful for not having to go to the infirmary to get such a little thing seen to. He was also grateful that he hadn't been more critically injured. He was going to be finished with his leg therapy soon and he was thrilled. Most days he barely had any pain at all. Just the usual aching muscle feeling. By now, most of the cadets were used to such pain.

"Well I gotta get back to work, but yeah, good job out there. Can't wait to see the next one," Zack said a little jokingly.

"Hopefully there won't be a next time," Cloud responded seriously. Zack laughed lightly as he headed for the door.

"Alright, see ya later, guys," he said with a small wave before departing.

Left alone, the boys looked at one another. "Dinner?" Paul suggested, and the agreement was unanimous.

After dinner, they boys made their way back to the dorms where they found Tanner addressing the other guys present in the dorm. He was just finishing his announcement when they approached.

"Testing will be tomorrow," he said loudly before turning to leave, headed for the door.

Lou grabbed hold of one of the other guys in the dorm. "What's going on? What testing?" he inquired hastily.

"Drug testing," the cadet revealed. "The Dorm Challenge has been cancelled," he added. Paul looked at him in shock.

"What? Why?" he questioned

"Seven cadets that were randomly tested were found to have drugs in their systems. Now everyone has to be tested. The Challenge has been called off 'cause anyone taking drugs may have an advantage over the rest of the cadets. Really I think it's supposed to be some form of punishment. Though I don't think anyone in this dorm is really upset about it," the cadet explained.

_Punish the whole for the few? _Cloud thought to himself. Didn't really seem fair. But then, he wasn't really disappointed. It meant more time to work on his own training, and one less event that would possibly find him pitted against those who were coming to hate him. He'd seen the look in Brice's eyes when he'd defeated him in the fight. The tension between him and Brice was far from over. If anything, the fight had only just begun.


	15. Chapter 14

_Hey guys, just wanted to say that this chapter is kind of short compared to previous ones, and perhaps not the most exciting. I guess you'll decide when you read it haha! But so you know the next two chapters are almost completed so you'll see them rather quickly. Also, Chapter 15 is rather intense compared to past chapters. I do want to apologize if this story has lost your interest at all. I know it's not like my other stuff I write and it's out of my comfort zone a bit so I'm a little more nervous when I write it. Thanks so much for reading though, if you have continued to do so. I really appreciate your support ^^_

_Disclaimer: Do not own FFVII_

Chapter XIV

"You look a little nervous there, Six," Lou commented from Cloud's bunk as he watched Johnny sift through some pages in a geography text from where he sat on the floor, his shoulders resting against the edge of Paul's mattress. Cloud looked up from one of his own books to turn his attention Johnny's way. Indeed, he did look a little preoccupied with his thoughts. It was obvious as he was flipping pages that he wasn't actually looking at the words written on them. Johnny didn't reply. "You worried the lab techs are gonna find a little something in your piss cup?" Lou prodded.

"Why should you be worried?" Paul questioned, glancing at Johnny.

"I'm not," Johnny answered without hesitation.

"Ha," Lou spouted. "You are so! Were you smoking up, ya stoner?" Paul looked at his bunkmate interestedly.

Johnny snorted, closing the text book in his lap. "No, then I actually _would _be worried," he claimed as he rested his head back on Paul's mattress.

Cloud glanced at his watch, wondering when it was that Tanner was going to show up. All cadets had been ordered to return to their dorms after classes that day for the drug testing. They weren't allowed to leave their designated dorms until the testing had been completed. Which meant no dinner or extra training until then.

"Then what _did_ you take?" Paul asked Johnny. His bunkmate looked up at him.

"Do you _really _need to know?" he questioned. Paul rolled his eyes slightly and went back to some math problems he'd been working on.

"How stupid are you?" Lou fired at Johnny then. "If you're gonna go off and do drugs you might as well not bother coming back," he declared.

"I wasn't planning on coming back," Johnny threw back at him and Lou shook his head, turning back to his own homework. Johnny tossed Cloud a short look. There was something vague that Cloud was able to just barely recognize as gratitude in that look. But it was gone in an instant as Johnny closed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Alright, cadets!" a loud voice called out across the dorm. All the boys turned to see Tanner approaching. They stood themselves up promptly and moved to stand at the ends of their bunks. "Let's get this over with. I'm gonna call six of you at a time. There is a labeled cup for each of you. Take your cup from the cart here," he directed, gesturing to the cart that had been wheeled in by someone from the medical labs. "When you're finished your business put it back on the second shelf of the cart. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," the collective responded dully. Tanner began to call bunk numbers off of a list. Cloud's number, 27, was called along with Lou's in the second set of cadets called. They marched toward the front of the room with the other four cadets called and took their cups from the cart. Cloud quickly decided that six cadets standing next to one another as they urinated into plastic cups was one of the most uncomfortable things he'd probably ever experience. And yet, it was over quickly enough that it made the wait leading up to it seem ridiculous. Ten minutes later, the dorm was released to commence with regular activities. Most cadets headed straight for the cafeteria.

In the following days, as results from the drug testing began pouring out, a dorm challenge not expected had begun. It was the 'Which dorm has the least amount of cadets being expelled from the program due to drug consumption?' challenge. Dorm D was in the lead. No surprise there. They were probably the only dorm not stressed out to the point at which drugs became an option. Dorm A seemed to have lost the most so far. Nine in total. The dorms were shrinking yet again. Not that it was a bad thing, in Cloud's mind anyway. He liked the thought of having less competition. With the drug test over and done with, there was one less thing to think about. Or so he thought.

He was in his Combat and Weaponry class learning some kata for a new weapon, the kama. With the exception of the sword, Cloud decided that the kama was his favourite weapon. He'd researched it when his instructor, Officer Balta, had announced they were going to be practicing with the weapon shortly. He was instantly captivated by it, especially the weapon's variation, the kusarigama, essentially the same as the kama except that it had a chain and weight attached to the end. Cadets would never lay hands on a kusarigama. But as SOLDIERs they would.

Balta's kata lesson was interrupted abruptly when Officer Tanner appeared, calling Balta over to him. A moment later, Cloud heard his name being called out.

"Yes, sir?" Cloud spoke as he approached.

"Your weapon, Strife," Balta said, holding a hand out to take the kama from Cloud.

"Come with me, Strife," Tanner instructed and Cloud obeyed though his mind was filling with confusion. Tanner seemed serious. Well, more serious than usual. Cloud immediately felt like he'd done something wrong, though he couldn't imagine what it was he might have done. He followed Tanner down to the main building where he was led into a small room with a table and several chairs. Two officers sat on the one side of the table. Cloud stood in front of them straight, placing his hands behind him as he nodded firmly at them.

"Cadet Strife," the one spoke. "Please, have a seat," he said, gesturing to one of the chairs on the opposite side of the table in front of Cloud. Cloud sat himself down slowly, still unsure of why it was he was there.

"You're here," the other officer began as if he'd read Cloud's mind, "because results from your recent drug test have shown traces of amphetamines in your system." Cloud's jaw nearly dropped. He shifted his eyes from one officer to the other. _It's a joke_, he thought. But they weren't joking.

"Now as you know," the first officer continued "We have a strict, zero-tolerance policy for drugs here and it is for that reason that you're enrollment in the program is going to be terminated—"

"You're serious!" Cloud blurted, cutting him off.

"We're very serious, Cadet Strife," the second officer replied.

"Sir," Cloud said, looking at the one and then the other. "Uh, sirs," he corrected himself awkwardly, not sure if he was using the right grammar or not. It didn't seem to make a difference at the moment. "I've never done drugs in my life, I-I—nothing's more important to me than making it into SOLDIER. I wouldn't do something like that at the risk of losing that chance."

"I'm sorry, Cloud," but the results are clear—" the first officer said stonily but Cloud interrupted again, refusing to give in.

"The results are wrong, sir! Just, um—do another test! Please. I swear it'll show that I'm not doing any drugs," Cloud pleaded. He was ready to beg if he had to. The officers did seem a little surprised at his reaction.

"Tanner?" the one spoke, looking at the dorm officer. Cloud looked up at him as well.

"I'd give him a blood test. I'll be surprised if it shows the same results," Tanner responded after a moment of thought. Cloud could have jumped up right then and hugged the dorm officer but he stayed where he was, turning once again to look at the officers across from him.

"Alright," the second officer agreed finally, that one word sending a rush of relief through Cloud. His heart began to calm itself down once again. "Tanner, you take him directly to the lab and have it done," the officer ordered.

"Right, let's go, Strife," the dorm officer prompted him.

"Thank you, thank you, sir—sirs," Cloud said as he rose from his chair before turning and heading out into the hall with Tanner. "Thank you, as well, sir," he added as he and Tanner were making their way down to the lab.

"Yeah well, you better not make me regret it," the officer replied.

"I won't, sir," Cloud said positively.

The blood test was quick. It was the waiting afterward that was excruciating. Instead of being returned to class, Cloud was sent back to the dorm to wait for the verdict. He tried to occupy himself with coursework but it was difficult to concentrate. His couldn't stop mulling over how exactly it was that his test had shown he was taking drugs. Could someone have slipped him something? No, he hadn't felt any of the effects that come with amphetamines. And further, why would someone want to drug him? No, it must have been a lab error.

He was still waiting for the blood test results when some of the other cadets began to file in from class hours later. Paul and Johnny were two of them.

"Hey," Paul said in slight surprise upon seeing Cloud lying on his bunk. "You must have got out early," he commented.

"Yeah, about a half day early," Cloud replied sullenly.

"Why?" Paul asked. "Did something happen?" Cloud sat up, moving his legs over the side of his bed to rest his feet on the floor.

"My drug test results came back," he explained. "According to the results, I'm an amphetamine user."

"What?!" Paul exclaimed, sitting himself down on his bunk across from Cloud. Johnny looked down at Cloud in slight disbelief. Even he hadn't been called out on his test. And he'd actually consumed drugs since being at the Academy.

"I practically begged for a second test to be done," Cloud continued. "I'm still waiting on the results. If they don't show that I'm clean I don't know what I'm gonna do. I hardly know what amphetamines are."

Both he and Paul looked at Johnny who raised an eyebrow and paused as he was taking off his shirt. "Nice," he muttered before pulling the garment over his head and grabbing a replacement shirt from where it lay on his bunk. It was the one he'd been given to wear when he was working. Cloud lowered his eyes. He hadn't meant to insinuate that Johnny had any more knowledge of drugs than he or Paul, but out of the three of them he seemed the most likely to know of such things.

"Are you _ever _not going to have probation work to do?" Paul asked his bunkmate. Johnny smirked.

"What do you think?" he replied. Paul shook his head.

"Ya know, I think you must actually like it or something," he declared.

"Well, to tell you the truth, the maintenance crew is about the best bunch of people I've met in this stuck-up hole," Johnny claimed.

Paul glared at him lightly. "I'll try not to take offence to that," he stated.

"You do that," Johnny said before departing.

"Hey," Paul spoke up to Cloud then. "Tanner's here," he pointed out. "Maybe he's got your test results." Cloud stood up and readied himself on the chance that was the case. Much to his relief, it _was_ the case.

"Good news, Strife," the dorm officer announced as he stopped in front of Cloud. Cloud let out a long exhale of relief. "Test was negative for presence of drugs."

"Thank you, sir," Cloud replied happily.

"You know anyone who may wanna see you out of the program, Strife?" Tanner asked rather unexpectedly.

"I'm sorry, sir?" Cloud answered uneasily, not sure that he understood what Tanner was getting at.

"I—I don't understand—" he began to say though realization hit him. "Wait, you mean it wasn't just a lab error?" he asked.

"It doesn't appear that way," Tanner confirmed. "So, anyone with a grudge?"

One person's name came to the forefront of his mind. _Brice_. "Uh…I'm not sure," he said after a moment.

"Well, if you think of anyone, let me know," the dorm officer instructed and Cloud nodded, watching him walk away before sitting himself on his bunk.

"They think someone messed with your sample?" Paul questioned in a low voice. Cloud said nothing. "Well at least you know that you're doing a good job here," Paul remarked then.

"Why's that?" Cloud inquired.

"Because there's someone trying to get rid of you."

Cloud couldn't help but smile a little in response.

000

"Would someone be able to tell me just what the hell is going on? First we have half the cadet population on drugs and now there's the possibility that _none _of those test results are accurate?" Officer Stark, one of the directors of the Cadet Initiate program spoke impatiently to those present in the board room. Zack had only just been informed of what had happened with Cloud and was called to the room along with the other dorm officers.

"It was just one cadet, sir," one of the officers responsible for the expulsion of cadets spoke.

"Really, Banks?" Stark replied to him quickly. "How do you know? Did you re-test all the others?"

Banks looked at his partner, Sidley before answering. "No, sir, but he was the only one who seemed so adamant about his results being wrong. There's no reason to believe any of the other tests were false."

"Alright," Stark said with an exasperated sigh. "Explain to me what's happened."

"It appears that Cadet Strife's sample was replaced with another," Sidley explained.

"Do we know who switched the samples?" the director inquired.

"No, sir," Sidley replied lowly, knowing it wasn't the answer Stark wanted.

"Do we at least have a list of all who had access to the samples?"

"Sort of, sir…"

"What the hell does sort of mean?"

Zack leaned forward in his chair, listening intently.

"Well the sample room isn't the most secure room," Sidley revealed. "Anyone with a lab pass can get into it, sir."

A sound of disapproval left the director. "Well, that will have to change," he stated. "Tell me, what's so special about this cadet that someone would deliberately try to sabotage him?" There was a brief silence before Banks spoke.

"Nothing, sir," he said simply.

"With all do respect, sir," Zack spoke up, looking at the director. "If someone has gone through all the effort to try and sabotage only him, there must be _something _special about him," he pointed out. Donning a somewhat proud smirk as he thought of Cloud he added, "He's got to be doing something right."


	16. Chapter 15

_Hey guys, I decided at last minute to add some more stuff to this chapter which is why I ended up making a liar of myself and taking some extra time to get it out haha! So yeah, it's longer now, which I guess could be good or bad depending on the length you like to read. Anyway, that's all I got to say. Thanks so much for all your reviews on the last chapter! _

_Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII. _

Chapter XV

"Hey, do you guys know what's coming up soon?" Lou spoke up as he plodded along next to Cloud, Paul, and Johnny. They were making their way off the field after their morning exercises.

"No, what?" Paul questioned.

"December," Lou said happily.

"Very good, Lou, you know what comes after December? _January_," Paul teased. Cloud couldn't help but laugh a little. He was feeling incredibly at ease since the day before when he'd almost found himself kicked out of the Academy. He couldn't deny he was feeling just a little apprehension over the thought that someone had deliberately messed with his initial drug test but he couldn't stress over it forever. He already had his suspicions about who was responsible. Really, there was only one person with the resources to do it. Brice actually had the money to pay off someone in the labs to switch the samples. And it had happened just one day after Cloud had kicked his ass in their extra-curricular fight. It was rather obvious considering.

He'd thought about turning Brice in, but in an effort to stay away from creating more hassle for himself he decided against it. If he got Brice kicked out then he'd have to deal with his pissed off friends. And besides, he was enjoying just a little bit the embarrassment he'd been dealing the cadet. As he entered the locker room from the field, there Brice stood, as if he'd been waiting.

"You're still here," Brice commented. He might as well have just said _I'm the one who had your sample switched for the drug test _because that's exactly what his spoken words had sounded like.

"Yeah," Cloud replied, looking up at the cadet who was about two inches taller. "Better luck next time. Guess you'll have to come up with some other way to get me kicked out," he added.

"Don't know what you're talking 'bout," Brice said with a smirk.

"Whatever," Cloud responded with an impatient exhale, moving to pass by the cadet. Brice's hand came down on his shoulder then and stopped him.

"You don't get to just walk away from me, Strife," Brice spoke down to him forcefully.

"You're not the boss of him," Paul fired back at him.

"Nice to know you got your boyfriend here to stick up for you," Brice commented. By now every cadet in the immediate area was looking their way. Cloud just shook his head, trying once again to move past Brice. This time Brice shoved him. That would surely have been the beginning of a fight as Paul, Johnny, and Lou all stepped up next to Cloud fast and a series of pushes and pulls began between them and Brice, along with his friends. It only lasted a few seconds as the door to the field opened across the room. Zack and Dorm C's officer stepped in and broke up the almost fight.

"What the hell is going on?" Zack inquired loudly, looking at several cadets and waiting for an explanation.

"Nothing, sir," Brice replied after a moment of no one saying anything.

"You again," Zack commented as he stared down at Brice before looking at Cloud. "You got a problem that needs sorted out, cadet?" he asked Brice, turning his eyes on him again.

"No, sir," Brice answered reluctantly.

"Good. Then I suggest you go get ready for classes," Zack said firmly. "That goes for the rest of you," he added, waiting a moment as the room began to clear out before speaking again. "That means you too," he said as he turned toward Paul and Lou. They nodded before heading toward the door. Johnny started to follow but Zack stopped him. "You, are the last person I want to see around a fight, you got it?" he spoke seriously. "You're on borrowed time as it is."

"Yes, sir," Johnny replied before moving past him to follow the other cadets out.

Zack waited until everyone had left before narrowing in on Cloud. "What's that guy's issue with you?" he asked.

"Nothing. He's like that with everyone," Cloud claimed. It wasn't totally a lie. Brice really was a jerk to everyone, even his supposed friends.

"Yeah, right," Zack said skeptically, crossing his arms and keeping his eyes zeroed in on Cloud.

"Alright," Cloud muttered with a short sigh. "He _might_ have a bit of a problem with me but I'm not worried about it."

"Wow. Check out Mr. Tough," Zack mocked lightly. Cloud grinned a little and rolled his eyes.

"I better get going," he said as he glanced at the clock on the wall.

"Yeah, I better get to work," Zack agreed, following Cloud out of the locker room into the hallway before bidding him farewell.

Cloud hadn't been lying when he said he wasn't worried about Brice. It had been true at the time. But the problems with him were escalating. And not just with him. Or Curtis Dolt, his lingering best buddy. It was all their friends. Drones that hung onto Brice and Dolt like shadows. Cloud couldn't go anywhere without running into one of them. They were driving him crazy. Outside of the typical verbal bashing and minor physical bullying, they committed themselves to pulling pranks on him or stealing things from him. By the time December had rolled around he'd lost two textbooks and a crapload of pens and pencils. Every time he left his desk in class or looked away for a moment there was someone nearby to snatch up his writing utensil. He quickly learned to bring several with him to classes. A few times, his clothing had been messed with in the laundry room. The first time, someone had simply opened the door on the dryer on every load he put in. Each time he'd return to the room he'd find his clothing sitting in the machine still wet. On another occasion, his clothes had been removed from the dryer altogether and put in the garbage. He resorted to sitting in the room and studying while waiting out the whole process of washing and drying.

Everything they did was pretty juvenile. It got under his skin but none of it scared him. And he got his revenge by presenting himself as par to Brice in their classes. Sometimes better than par. And he could tell it was making the cadet angry. But then came that one night that things became very serious very fast. When he thought about it afterwards, Cloud realized he really should have seen what was coming.

That day, in CW class, they had been working with bo staffs. They'd been left to work on their technique and mock-battle one another. Five minutes into it, Brice just couldn't help himself. He just had to come over and get on Cloud's case. He said everything he could to break Cloud's concentration. Cloud endured it up until the point Brice started to make comments about his mother and the father that he hadn't known. He called Cloud's mother a whore and the moment the word had left his mouth Cloud snapped, turning toward Brice in a flash of anger, gripping his weapon tightly, all in one moment he imagined himself using that staff on him, bashing him in his stupid cocky mouth, but he had better sense and restraint. Instead, his left arm came back and he sent his fist flying into the side of Brice's nose. Brice dropped his staff to grip his face, the blood already seeping from his nostrils quickly. He wasted no time in throwing himself at Cloud, slamming into his torso and sending him to the floor where he dealt a blow back to Cloud, striking his left cheekbone.

Balta made his way over before another punch could be thrown, separating the two cadets and threatening to send them to the DB. The Disciplinary Board. Cloud and Brice walked away from each other with Cloud foolishly believing that Brice wasn't going to retaliate over almost having his nose broken. That night after Cloud had finished a session of solo training he stood in the empty locker room, taking his time with getting himself ready to go back to the dorm. He never heard a sound. The lights went out suddenly and a moment later he felt himself being grabbed. What happened next happened fast. Someone grabbed his head and threw it forward into the lockers, knocking him out cold.

When he finally regained consciousness he found himself locked inside one of the maintenance supply closets. There he remained until one of the maintenance workers opened the small room to retrieve something. He'd missed his morning training on the field with the rest of his dorm, and made up some lie to tell Tanner when the officer tracked him down later that morning. That he'd fallen asleep in one of the training facilities by accident.

A part of himself wanted to file a complaint against Brice, Dolt, and their host of followers. But when he thought about it seriously he couldn't see how filing a complaint would change anything. They would be little more than reprimanded for their verbal and minor physical assaults against him. Only if his safety was at risk would something be done and there was no way he could prove Brice and his friends had anything to do with what happened to him in the locker room. So he would do what he had always done when he'd been bullied and abused in the past. Nothing.

"Hey, what happened to you? It looks like you walked into a door," Zack commented through heavy breaths as he ran up next to Cloud on the track during training the next morning. He and Dorm C's officer were the only two dorm officers who actually ran alongside their cadets in the mornings, not counting the drillers of course. They were always running next to the boys, yelling at them and urging them to move faster.

"Nothing, it was an accident in training, sir," Cloud barely managed the breath to reply. Talking disrupted his rhythm of inhales and exhales.

"Oh, okay then," Zack said with a nod. Cloud looked at him briefly before returning his eyes forward.

"That's it?" Cloud asked, a little shocked. "You believe me?" he inquired suspiciously.

"Of course not, I wasn't born yesterday," the officer stated pointedly. "And you know I'm just gonna hound you 'till you tell me what actually happened," he added with a wide smile.

"You really want to know, sir?" Cloud glanced at him once again.

"Yep," the officer confirmed.

"I got jumped in the locker room the night before last. Got knocked out and woke up in one of the storage closets," Cloud said simply before stepping up his pace a bit. Zack sped up a little to keep up with him.

"Is that true?" he inquired.

"I'm not a very good story teller, sir."

"That's serious, Cloud, did you report it?" Zack asked before drawing in another deep inhale.

Cloud couldn't help but laugh a little. "And that will do what for me, sir? I don't even know for sure who it was that jumped me," he pointed out and watched as the officer grimaced and shook his head. Zack knew it would be a pointless effort to report an incident like that with no one to direct the blame at. "It doesn't really matter," Cloud went on, panting out a few breaths before continuing. "Besides, I think I'm getting used to the constant harassment."

_Feels just like home_, Cloud thought to himself.

Whether the abuse was something familiar or not, Cloud couldn't help his second thoughts over going back to the training facility alone again. On two separate occasions he'd had an altercation with other cadets in the locker rooms. As much as he wanted to believe it hadn't really bothered him, it had. He found himself putting off his solo workouts and instead favored the dorms as a place to spend his time outside of class. He felt guilty and a little ashamed of his choice but justified it by telling himself he was finally giving his body the break it deserved. He promised himself to spend the holidays training while all the other cadets were away at home. It was now December and he still hadn't told his mother about his decision to stay at the Academy over Christmas.

The other cadets were certainly becoming excited over the prospect of two whole weeks away from the Academy. Two whole weeks of food not rendered in a cafeteria. Two whole weeks without alarms going off at six in the morning or sometimes earlier. Two whole weeks to just be teenagers. In addition to that time off, the cadets learned at last minute in the morning of that first Friday of the month that they would have the evening to spend off the grounds, the main reason being that they would be able to enjoy a winter carnival held at the nearby fair grounds. They were given a curfew of one a.m. and as an extra bonus, their Saturday morning exercises outside would be pushed from six to eight. A very unusual and welcomed surprise to say the least.

And it all meant very little to Cloud. As he sat on his bunk after dinner that Friday trying to memorize a list of chemical compounds, he had no intention of going out. He was barely aware of the bustle around him as the other cadets were waiting until seven when they'd be free to leave the grounds. He had no interest in visiting the fair grounds. He was very much satisfied with the comfort of his bunk and the dorm. With the security it provided. Further, he'd never really enjoyed carnivals. He had been to a few in his hometown and found that he wasn't much for rides and he usually found himself faced with a grouping of kids hell-bent on making him miserable. Carnivals. Bringing bullies together.

000

From within the confines of his cubicle in one of the offices, Zack was tapping his pen against the edge of the desk in an effort to keep himself awake while looking through some expense reports on a few of the projects he'd been working on with some other officers. His eyes drifted to the calendar pinned to the one wall. _About…three weeks 'till Christmas_, he thought sadly. _The first since…_He didn't finish his thought. He opened the file manager on his computer and pulled up an old mission report. _The _mission report. He didn't read over everything, just the few important details.

_Target One: SOLDIER 1__st__ Class Rhapsodos, Genesis. Presumed deceased. _

_Target Two: SOLDIER 1__st__ Class Hewley, Angeal. Successfully assassinated. _

_Mission Completed. _

Zack sighed, thinking back on the mission. A mission he wasn't supposed to be involved in. And yet, as much as he hated himself for taking Angeal's life, he couldn't possibly have imagined someone else doing it. Angeal had been accepting of his death in the end his last words to Zack had been kind and supportive. And somehow that made Zack feel so much worse.

"Hey, Zack!" a familiar voice called out from nearby suddenly and he closed the file window on his computer before standing and looking over the cubical wall to see Officer Tanner from Cadet Dorm B coming towards him.

"What's up?" he questioned.

"I have to punch out early and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind seeing that my dorm signs out alright when they leave for their recreation time?" Tanner asked as he rested his forearms on the top of the cubical wall separating him and Zack.

"Sure," Zack replied. "Where you headed?"

"I got a sick aunt who might croak tonight."

"Oh. God, I'm sorry," Zack said, a little surprised at the officer's casual tone.

"Naw, its fine, we weren't that close. My mom's the one I'm going for," Tanner spoke with a shrug. "Anyway, here's the list of cadets not signing out tonight." He handed a piece of paper to Zack. There were only three names on the list. Zack shook his head a little over seeing Cloud's name there.

"Alright, well, have a good night I guess," he said a little uneasily.

"Thanks, Zack," the officer said with a nod before turning to leave the office.

Zack took one last look at the piece of paper Tanner had handed him before shutting down his computer and making his way down to the Cadet Dorms.

He went to check on his own dorm first. The excitement in there was clear. Only about forty-five minutes left until the boys would be free to leave the grounds. He hung out there with them for a little while before going down to Tanner's dorm. He made his way slowly down the center aisle, keeping his eyes on the bunk numbers to his left. _27_. He looked down and there was Cloud, fully immersed in chemistry.

"This is what you're gonna do all night?" he asked without any form of greeting first. Cloud's eyes snapped up and he turned his head fast towards him.

"Sir," Cloud replied a little in surprise as he began to pull himself off his bunk to stand.

"Never mind that," Zack said while he came around into the area between the bunks. He sat himself down on Cloud's bed and grabbed the textbook the cadet had been looking at. Cloud watched him sift through a few of the pages.

"Uh, sir, I'm not meaning to be rude but, why are you here?" Cloud couldn't help but question after a few moments.

"Huh?" Zack looked at him briefly. "Oh, Tanner had to leave grounds early so he asked if I would see to it that your dorm signs out properly tonight." Cloud knew what was coming next. "So, how come you're staying in?" the officer questioned.

Cloud looked down at the floor, shrugging. "Just don't really feel like going out," he admitted semi-truthfully.

"But that's _so _lame," Zack replied. "Off-campus rec time is a gift. You can't not take it. You're going," he stated.

"It's not a big deal to me, sir. Really, I'd prefer to just stay here," Cloud responded quickly.

"And do what?" Zack asked. "Read this?" He held up the chem book. "Forget it!" He rose from the edge of Cloud's bed and took a pen from one of his pockets along with the paper Tanner had given him.

"What are you doing?" Cloud inquired.

"Crossing you out on the list of cadets staying in tonight," the officer stated simply as he used Cloud's textbook as a hard surface to place the paper on and run a line through his name. Cloud watched in shock.

"But, sir—" he began to try and give his real reasons for not wanting to go out.

"Save it, kid, you're going out and you're gonna have a great night," Zack proclaimed, putting the pen and paper back in his pocket. "Or you're not getting your textbook back," he added, shoving the book under his one arm. "You'll thank me later, trust me." He smiled down at Cloud brightly before leaving him once again.

Paul returned from the bathroom a few minutes later, where he'd been getting ready along with several of the other cadets. He noticed Cloud putting his boots on.

"Where you going?" he questioned.

Without looking at him, Cloud responded. "To the fair grounds with you guys."

"Really?" Paul replied fast. "That's great!"

_Yeah, great_, Cloud thought. He wasn't looking forward to it. In the pit of his stomach he had a very uneasy feeling rising up. He almost felt as if something bad were going to happen if he went out. But he ignored the feeling, telling himself he worried too much.

When they'd reached the fair grounds that night, Cloud had to admit he felt a little more at ease. The bright, glowing atmosphere was somewhat comforting. Right away, Johnny had departed to find some old friends of his that were supposed to be there. He'd been given the last few hours of his probation work off so that he could head out with the other cadets. According to Johnny, he only had another few days of work left. Then it would be a matter of waiting to see if he did anything else to send him right back to probation. Though in all likelihood, one more strike would be sending him off Academy grounds.

Paul seemed completely ecstatic to be where he was. He declared himself a 'gamer' and therefore was drawn to the gaming area of the carnival. Cloud watched mostly, drawing a little closer to boredom with the passing hours. By ten o'clock he was ready for bed. But the night, as far as the other cadets were concerned was only half over. They weren't required to be back at the dorms until one after all.

Paul was in the middle of fighting a zombie army when Cloud told him he was going for a walk and would be back in ten minutes. Paul nodded slowly though Cloud wasn't sure the cadet had actually heard him. He departed then, deciding to look for a bathroom first.

The bathroom facilities were located toward the outside of the grounds, away from most of the carnival action. It was quieter out there. A touch more anxiety-inducing walking through that darkness alone. The heavy, uneasy feeling in Cloud's stomach began to nag at him again when he'd entered the bathroom. He urinated quickly, and glanced into the mirror in from of him nervously when washing his hands.

Then, he was back outside. Unharmed and feeling a little stupid. There was no reason for him to be so on-edge. He set his sights back on the action of the carnival about fifty yards away and began his trek back, passing by some equipment trailers lined up along the pavement. In one quick moment, he felt as though his heart were leaping into his throat as a girl burst out from in between two of the trailers, running into him. She seemed panicked, releasing a startled cry before looking up at him, terrified. A flicker of relief passed over her eyes then.

"Please," she spoke breathlessly as she gripped his arms.

"What is it?" he questioned softly, his heart still racing as he tried to understand why she was so frantic. He noticed then that her shirt was open half-way, the buttons torn, revealing her undergarments.

"Don't tell me that's _your_ girlfriend, Strife," a voice said loudly from nearby. Cloud looked up to see a familiar group of fellow cadets. Brice, Dolt, and their friend Lee Solice emerged from the darkness between the trailers where the girl had come moments before. He felt the girl trembling in his arms.

"Go, get out of here," he spoke firmly to her. She nodded and pulled away from him, hurrying out of sight.

"You ruined our fun, Strife. We're gonna have to kick your ass for that," Brice spoke snidely.

Did fate hate him that much? Out of all the cadets he could have run into, it would be Brice and his friends. "Your _fun_?" Cloud questioned. "Your fun includes attacking innocent girls?"

The guys laughed. "Did you see how she was dressed? She ain't _that _innocent," Brice jeered.

"You're a son of a bitch," Cloud spat at him before turning his back on the three to walk away. It wasn't the smartest of ideas. He only heard the thudding of their boots on the pavement a split second before he was clobbered, finding himself thrown up against the side of one of the trailers next to him.

"You know, you're lookin' pretty fetching tonight, Strife," Brice spoke into his one ear. His other ear was pressed hard against the plastic resin-covered metal of the trailer. "Might have to take your little ass for a spin!" The guys laughed in amusement.

"Fuck you, Brice!" Cloud responded fiercely before elbowing him in the side hard. He tore out of Brice's grip only to feel two hands grab the back of his coat and pull him back. It was Dolt who swung him back towards the other two where Solice landed a hit in his gut. Cloud realized then as he gripped his stomach that a fight was inevitable. Three against one. His chances of winning would be slim. That didn't mean he wasn't going to try.

As Brice's fist swung toward him, he ducked to the side before delivering a hit of his own to Brice's left side. Dolt came at him then, trying to hit him from behind. Cloud had been expecting it so he was able to duck and miss the hit aimed for the back of his head. As Dolt stumbled forward, Cloud pushed him into Solice. Brice clipped him then, his fist catching Cloud on the side of his jaw. The thick ring that Brice wore on his middle finger dug into Cloud's skin. Cloud kept his concentration however, blocking another hit aimed at his torso. A hand grabbed his shoulder and he gripped it fast, wrenching the arm forward and flipping who turned out to be Dolt onto his back. Solice took Dolt's place quickly, placing his arms under Cloud's and locking his hands behind Cloud's head, immobilizing him slightly as Brice came at him, driving his fists into his torso. Cloud grunted a few times as real pain was becoming apparent. He was on a one-way street to broken ribs if he didn't do something to protect himself. Bringing his one leg up fast, he kicked Brice as he was coming at him for another strike. Quickly, he stomped hard on Solice's right foot and reached up to grab his hands pulling them from his head and twisting Solice's one wrist hard, hearing a cry fall from the cadet's lips. Cloud was free of his grip but he didn't have time to do much with that freedom as Dolt drove his fist into the side of Cloud's mouth, splitting his upper and lower lips. Cloud's teeth cut into this cheek and his mouth filled with the taste of copper. An elbow struck him then between his shoulder blades, dropping him to his knees only a fraction of a second before hands clutched his clothing once again and began pulling him in between the trailers nearby where he was shoved to the ground behind them.

He found himself back on his hands and knees on the snow-dusted pavement where he received a hard kick to his stomach that knocked him onto his side. More kicks followed, and with them came the first real cries of pain as he felt his ribs finally giving way under the force of the hits. As the boots of his opponents came done with brutal force, a thought occurred to Cloud then. He was losing the fight. When the kicks had stopped, he barely had enough time to spit some bloody saliva from his mouth before he felt a hand in his hair, gripping tightly and yanking him to his knees as his head was pulled back. He knew that if there was any hope of him gaining the upper hand again he needed to fight dirty. Dolt was in front of him. He could see Solice standing to the side. Brice must have been the one grasping his hair. Without another moment's thought he threw his right arm out for a groin strike on Dolt, watching with satisfaction as the cadet moved away from him, groaning in pain. Cloud took the opportunity to twist around, not caring that his hair was being pulled from his scalp. He grabbed onto Brice's left leg and pulled hard, yanking the cadet onto his back.

With Brice's hold on him released, Cloud took advantage of his opening, kneeling over him to deliver a round of several punches. It didn't last long as Solice stepped in and grabbed the back of his coat once again, pulling him off Brice who recovered fast with a renewed fury. He launched at Cloud, slamming him to the ground where he returned the blows Cloud had just dealt him. Hit after hit, Cloud felt that each strike was crushing the bones in his face. He knew something had to have been broken by the sound of a snap that seemed close to his ear. Hearing that sound, he suddenly feared the extent of the damage he was receiving. His thoughts were shattered then as Brice grabbed his head and threw it back on the pavement below him. His senses were knocked out of him as his vision and consciousness spun. He lay still, trying to get his senses back. Brice clutched the hair on the top of his head once again, raising his head off the ground. Cloud expected to felt the concrete crushing the back of his head once again but instead, Brice spoke.

"Give up, or I'll fucking kill you right now." Brice's words cut into him and he forced his rapidly swelling eyes open. He caught the glimmer of silver though he couldn't make out through the haze and blood running into his eyes what it was he was seeing.

"Brice!" one of the others shouted. "C'mon man, you're going too far!"

"Shut up!" Brice yelled back.

"You wanna get stuck with murder on your record?!"

"I said shut up!" Brice repeated.

Cloud wasn't sure how it happened, or _what _happened for that matter, he was already tipping on the brink of unconsciousness, but somehow, in an effort to stop Brice from doing something he'd regret, one of the others rushed toward him, accidently stumbling and falling into him. Cloud felt an incredible pressure in his chest that erupted into a fierce pain in an instant. A startled cry escaped him.

"Shit," Brice uttered in disbelief as he pulled himself back from Cloud. In the dim light that was available behind the equipment trailers, Cloud could just barely make out something thin and cylindrical protruding from the left side of his chest. He reached for it slowly, his hand shaking as he tentatively touched the object. There was a suffocating silence before Brice spoke. "Look what you made me do!" he exclaimed in horror. "Fuck!"

"We gotta get out of here," Solice said urgently, grabbing Brice's arm.

"Yeah…" Brice agreed slowly. He rose to his feet and proceeded to move toward the narrow passageway between two trailers.

"Wait! If you leave that behind they're gonna know it was you!" Dolt shouted after them. Brice halted.

"You're right," he said as he moved his way back to Cloud. He crouched over him, knocking Cloud's hand back from the object. Cloud watched him take hold of it tightly.

"No, don't—" he protested weakly before the slender object was yanked from his body, pulling with it another cry of pain from him.

"Let's go!" Brice said then, hurrying away from Cloud, the others following after him closely. They disappeared from view, leaving Cloud on his own writhing in pain.

Across the grounds, Paul searched for Cloud. Cloud hadn't come back to the gaming area when he said he would and only moments ago he had seen Brice and his friends passing by looking a little beat up. Right away he thought of Cloud and he'd been filled with unease. He did, however, spot Johnny and approached him. He was hanging around one of fair grounds' benches with a group of people that weren't cadets from the Academy, laughing about something while a few of them, including Johnny, were having a smoke. Johnny was sitting on the bench with a girl in his lap, her one hand playing with the hair at the back of his head, though he barely seemed to notice. In fact, he seemed to be ignoring her for the most part. Paul felt out of place as he stopped and stood next to them, waiting for the appropriate time to interrupt.

"Can we help you?" one of the boys asked then. All eyes turned his way.

"I just…need to talk to Johnny," he said hesitantly. "Alone?" he added awkwardly as he looked at Johnny. With a sigh, Johnny took another drag on his cigarette before passing it to the girl in his lap.

"Move it," he ordered her, pushing her off him none too gently. She barely got her feet on the ground in time to keep from tumbling toward it. She didn't seem too offended by the action, taking a seat where Johnny had been and watching as he headed toward Paul.

"Official cadet business," one of the boys said in a mocking tone as Johnny passed him. The others suppressed their laughter.

"Fuck off, Chase," Johnny said to him before heading away from the group with Paul, stopping when they were out of earshot. "What is it?" Johnny questioned then.

"Have you seen Cloud around?" Paul asked.

"That's what you wanted to talk about?" Johnny replied, crossing his arms.

"He said he was going to meet me back in the gaming area like ten minutes ago and he didn't show up," Paul explained.

"So?" Johnny responded with a shrug. "Maybe he found something else to do," he suggested.

"But he said he wasn't really interested in any of the games or rides."

"Then maybe he went back to the dorms," Johnny countered. "Or went to take a piss, what does it matter?"

Paul exhaled slowly before answering. "I dunno. It's probably nothing…"

"What?" Johnny inquired impatiently.

"I saw Brice, Dolt, and one of their friends passing by and they looked like they'd just been in a fight," Paul explained.

"That's it?" Johnny asked when Paul went silent again. "Big deal. There's tons of people who'd like to kick their asses."

"I know but how many would actually try to fight them?" Paul pointed out. "And well, Brice has been on Cloud's case for weeks now. It's just—I dunno, I just have this feeling."

Johnny exhaled forcefully, his breath leaving him in a white puff in the cold night air. "So what do you want from me?" he asked.

"To help me find him," Paul revealed. Johnny rolled his eyes. "Come on, Johnny, you owe him that much, whether you want to admit or not," he added. Johnny rubbed his forehead before agreeing reluctantly to help.

"Give me a minute," he said with a sigh, turning back to his group of friends near the bench.

000

Cloud gripped his chest. It wasn't bleeding badly but something was definitely wrong. He was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe and the pressure he felt was incredible. His breaths had turned into wheezes and gasps as the minutes passed. He tried to call out for help but that ability seemed to have left him.

_I'm going to die_, he realized suddenly. He didn't know how he knew but he did. Unless he got help, he would die. But he'd been left in an area not visible from the rest of the fair grounds. His chances of someone finding him were dangerously low. He needed to get himself out from behind the trailers and back into the open. Slowly and painfully, he began to turn himself over, wincing and feeling the tears trailing from his eyes as pressure was put on one of his injured sides before he finally made it onto his stomach. From that position, he began dragging himself across the pavement, holding his chest with one hand and grabbing the concrete ahead of him with the other one. He was moving himself at an agonizingly slow pace, mere inches at a time, but it was all his remaining strength would allow him to accomplish. He managed to get himself into the narrow passage between two trailers and he saw a few people pass by the mouth of the passage. He tried again to make his vocal cords work for him, but they wouldn't produce a sound outside of some low groans. The people passed by without any idea there was someone who needed help.

By the time he'd gotten himself within a few feet of the passage's opening, the constriction in his chest had become too much for him. He needed what little energy he had left to focus on breathing. As he lay in one spot, he became increasingly cold and tired. He was barely able to get a full breath by the time he took one last look toward the fair grounds before blacking out.


	17. Chapter 16

_Hey guys, sorry for the wait on this chapter. I honestly thought I'd have it out sooner but I got really crazy busy. I tried not to leave it on a cliffhanger this time haha! Thanks for all your reviews!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII._

Chapter XVI

It was nearing 10:30 p.m. as Paul and Johnny expanded their search for Cloud out to the edges of the fair grounds. They checked the bathrooms. Still, no sign of Cloud there either.

"I'm telling you, man, he's probably back at the dorms," Johnny spoke up as they passed a few equipment trailers. Paul stopped him suddenly, pointing at the ground.

"Does that look like blood to you?" he asked and Johnny bent over, trying to get a better look at the few dark spots on the pavement.

"I dunno, maybe," Johnny commented before dabbing at it with his index finger. It was sticky but it definitely had the feel of drying blood. Paul pushed past him then calling Cloud's name as he walked forward quickly, beginning to search out the spaces around the trailers. He went farther than he needed to. Johnny took only a few steps forward, looking down the first gap between the ends of two of the trailers and there was Cloud, lying face-down on the ground unconscious.

"Right here!" Johnny called to Paul before kneeling on the ground next to Cloud and turning him over slowly. Paul appeared at the other end of the gap.

"What happened to him? Is he okay?" he called as he approached quickly. It only took a second looking at Cloud to see he was in rough shape.

"No, I don't think so," Johnny replied as he focused on the circle of blood that had formed in the material of Cloud's coat over the one side of his chest. He unzipped Cloud's coat and lifted his sweater and uniform shirt up to get a look at what the apparent wound looked like. It was surprisingly small but it didn't look good. Like a bullet or stab wound. "You gotta find a phone and call for help," he instructed, looking up at Paul when he made no movement. "Now! Hurry up!" he shouted and Paul snapped to action then, stepping past him and Cloud and rushing back toward the main area of the fair grounds.

With Paul gone, Johnny checked to make sure Cloud was still breathing before pulling his shirt and sweater back over his torso. Cloud was still breathing, barely, but he was also icy cold to the touch. Johnny removed his own coat and put it over him before applying slight pressure to the area on his chest where the small wound was. He wasn't sure what else to do. He wasn't good with this kind of stuff. Helping people. Taking care of them. If there was one thing the past had shown him, He was barely capable of taking care of himself.

Paul wasn't gone long, he returned with a cell phone pressed to his ear and the presumable owner of the phone following closely.

"Okay," he spoke into the phone. "I'm back with him," he announced to whoever was on the other end of the line. "Uhh…I think so." He looked at Johnny. "He's breathing right?" Johnny nodded. "Yeah, yeah, he's breathing…Okay, yeah, I'll stay on the line."

"Who'd you call?" Johnny asked.

"Emergency services at the Academy. They're sending an EMV," Paul replied a little uneasily as he stared down at Cloud. "The dispatcher says it will take a few minutes," he added. Surely Cloud would be able to withstand the extra minutes until the emergency medical vehicle arrived. _Surely_. Paul wasn't feeling overly-confident about it.

It took a near ten minutes for the EMV to show up. It drew a fair amount of attention on the way over to the equipment trailers where Paul and Johnny had been waiting. People hurried over to observe the paramedics as they were taking a stretcher from the back of the vehicle.

"His name?" one of the paramedics asked as he approached the place where Cloud lay.

"Cloud Strife," Paul answered steadily as he shut the cell phone he'd been keeping a hold on. He handed it back to its owner.

"Step back, please," the same paramedic ordered Johnny before crouching next to Cloud. "You know if he's consumed any drugs or alcohol tonight?" he asked then as he checked Cloud's pulse.

"No," Paul said then corrected himself. "I mean yes, I do know if he has consumed drugs or alcohol, and he hasn't."

"Alright, let's get him in the Em-Vee," the paramedic spoke to his partner, the second paramedic, a woman.

The second paramedic positioned the stretcher next to Cloud and with the help of her partner lifted him onto it. They wheeled him back to the vehicle, asking the spectators to step back. When they'd gotten Cloud into the EMV, the second paramedic turned back to Johnny and Paul.

"Either of you see what happened here?" she questioned. Both boys shook their heads. "Fine, you're names please," she requested, taking a small notepad from her one chest pocket.

After providing their names, Paul asked if he could ride with them on the way back to the Academy. The paramedics refused because they weren't family. They departed quickly, leaving Paul and Johnny in silence and without any surety of what they should do now.

On the way to the Academy, Cloud woke briefly when the vehicle hit a rut in the road and bounced. He was just barely able to pry his eyes open enough to see a woman. She was preoccupied with something to the right of him. When she realized he was conscious she spoke to him but he couldn't make out her words. Her voice seemed to be coming at him from far away, and it was muffled as though he were trying to hear her from under water. He couldn't feel much of anything besides a heavy pressure in his chest. He was grateful for it. It was hard to keep his thoughts straight at the moment but he was fully aware of the fact that the pain would come later.

000

It was early afternoon when Zack finally sat down at his desk in the office to get some work done. He'd slept in, which was unusual for him. But he'd been up into the wee hours of the morning with Aeris so he wasn't too shocked. And he had an overstock of unused personal time building up in his file so he didn't feel too guilty about it. In fact, he was considering sleeping in again next Sunday. Perhaps even _with _Aeris.

All happy thoughts he'd gotten from that image were washed away in an instant as he stared down at the stack of Incidence Reports sitting on his desk. Was it his turn to go through them again already? He sighed dejectedly. Incidence Reports. Probably one of the worst clerical tasks. He hated them for two reasons: because either they were over-exaggerated or genuinely bad. And it was never a proud moment to find out a member of the program had been victimized in one way or another. Each one had to be read over and checked to make sure the report had been filled out properly and the right measures had been taken.

Near the bottom of the stack of about thirty or so reports a name seemed to leap off the page at him, slapping him in the face. _Cadet Initiate Strife, Cloud_. Zack swallowed hard, thinking perhaps he had been the one to report the incident. No. His name was in the victim section. With his heart beating faster and all his focus centered in on the flimsy white paper in his hands, he rose from his chair slowly as he read.

_Incident occurred in the morning of December 04 at approximately 2200 hours. Victim was off-site during recreation hours at the time of incident. Victim was allegedly assaulted physically at Sector 7 fair grounds. Emergency Medical Services were contacted at approximately 2230 hours by Cadet Initiate Tousa, Paul. Victim was admitted to Academy Infirmary in critical condition at approximately 2300 hours. _

Zack had to remind himself to take a breath as he felt himself getting light-headed. He sunk back into his chair as he stared at the details on the page that were all too inadequate. "Oh _no_," he moaned aloud, realization coming over him with a wave of nausea. He recalled suddenly the night before when he had all but forced Cloud to go out with some of the other cadets off-site. Off-site recreation time was a gift; you'd be an idiot not to take advantage of it. But…Cloud hadn't wanted to go. "I am such an asshole," he scolded himself before rising fast, his chair scraping back behind him. He dropped the report on his desk and headed out of his cubicle quickly.

"Good day, First Class," the receptionist at the front desk of the infirmary greeted him when he entered. He gave a short nod in acknowledgment. "How may I help you?" she inquired.

"Would you be able to tell me who is treating Cadet Initiate Cloud Strife?" he asked quickly, leaning over the counter slightly. She typed the inquiry into the computer.

"Dr. Jain."

"Would you have him paged please?"

The young lady nodded and picked up the phone. He gave her a small smile before sitting himself in the waiting area. A few minutes passed before a tall, grey haired doctor entered. "Dr. Jain?" Zack spoke as he lifted himself from his seat.

"Yes," the doctor said with a nod, taking Zack's extended hand in greeting.

"I'm Zack Fair. I'm actually here looking for an update on a cadet that was admitted," Zack explained.

"What's the cadet's name?"

"Cloud Strife. He was admitted late last night around eleven."

"Ah, yes," the doctor spoke in recognition. His expression was a little grim which sent Zack's nerves jumping. "He was admitted with some pretty extensive injuries; several broken bones. Jaw, three ribs. There was some internal bleeding and he also had a punctured lung."

"Punctured lung?" Zack questioned in a weak voice.

"It appeared from x-rays that he was probably stabbed with some sort of sharp instrument, though it's difficult to be sure what," the doctor explained. Zack felt the blood rushing from him again as he felt the sickness in his stomach rising up once more. He nearly reached out and placed a hand on the doctor's shoulder to steady himself but he remained relatively composed. The doctor looked back at him with concern. "Are you alright, First Class?"

Zack straightened himself and cleared his throat, shaking his head a little to get himself back together. "Yeah, fine. Would it be alright if I go in and see him?" he inquired.

"Sure. He's still in the Intensive Care Unit but he's stable," the doctor agreed as he led Zack down to the ICU. He paused before the entrance, turning back to Zack. "Hope you weren't planning to get any information out of him right now on the assault. He won't be saying much on account of his jaw being wired."

"No, that's fine," Zack spoke as he followed the doctor into the unit. They passed by several beds cordoned off with curtains that held other cadets or SOLDIERs in serious condition. Zack was somewhat surprised. He had no idea that at any one moment in time there were that many critically injured patients in the Infirmary.

Finally they stopped and Zack had to look twice to be sure he was looking down at Cloud. It sure didn't look like him. The only thing that secured his identity was that crazy hair of his. Though it wasn't looking so crazy at the moment. It was heavily matted by hours of sweat and lying with his head pressed into a pillow. His face was swollen beyond recognition. One of his eyes was deeply red and purple and there was heavy bruising on both sides of his cheek and jaw bones. Beyond that, the hospital gown and the sheets of the bed covered up any other injuries. There was an intravenous tube secured in his left wrist and an oxygen tube in his nose. As Zack followed the IV tube down to his hand he noticed the bruising and cuts on his knuckles. It brought a smirk to his face without him realizing it. It was a sign that the kid had fought back pretty good.

"Any idea how many attackers there were?" Zack asked the doctor then. The man shook his head.

"According to a report filed by the Emergency Medical Services, he was found by a few other cadets after the attackers had fled. One thing I can tell you though is that one of them had to be wearing a fairly large ring. I noticed a pattern of contusions on his face that I would say had to have come from something like that."

"Thanks, doc," Zack said with a small smile. "Mind if I sit here for awhile?"

"Go right ahead, First Class," the doctor said softly and gave a short nod before turning away and leaving the cordoned area. Zack sat in a nearby chair, pulling it a little closer to Cloud's bedside as he did. He watched Cloud resting silently. As if he could sense Zack's presence, it only took a few minutes for him to stir. His head moved a bit toward him first and his chest rose higher as he took a deep breath. His one eye opened then. The other was too swollen. His one-eyed gaze shifted toward Zack and his lips parted slightly.

"Sir." The word breezed from his mouth weakly, finding its way out somehow from his clamped jaw.

"Hey, Cadet," Zack said brightly, trying not to let his emotions creep out. "You're lookin' pretty good, how's the other guy?" he joked. The corners of Cloud's mouth twisted up a little, suggesting a smile. "Geeze, Strife, this is a pretty low way to get yourself a vacation from training!"

"S-sorry…sir," he managed to hiss out barely at a whisper.

Zack's face fell serious then. He hadn't meant it to but Cloud's apology, even if it was in humour, was too much. "No, Cloud. I'm sorry. I feel that this is my fault. I knew you were being given a hard time by some of the other cadets and you tried to express to me how much you didn't want to leave the grounds for recreation but I pushed you into it despite that. I'm an idiot and I should know better. I know I can't take back what happened but tell me who was involved in the attack and I'll see to it that they are punished for what they did." He watched Cloud's head as he shook it slightly. "No? What? Cloud, surely you want them to pay for what they did. I'm certainly not gonna let the pricks continue walking around here like they got nothing to worry about!"

Cloud said nothing. When he'd first woken up after surgery that morning he had had every intention of turning Brice, Dolt, and Solice in. Things had obviously gone too far and Cloud was actually somewhat afraid of Brice now. The cadets might have cost him his enrollment in the program. Final exams were coming up and he was looking at a long recovery. Or so he'd been told. But that was before the admissions officer handling his file had shown up. Cloud had overheard a brief conversation between the doctor treating him and the officer. The incident had been labeled criminal. If he accused Brice and his friends of being his attackers there were certain procedures that would follow. The most depressing of which was that all parties involved would have their enrollment in the program temporarily suspended until an investigation into the incident could be carried out. That meant that not only his attackers were looking at suspension, but he was too. It made sense from a legal standpoint. It made sense and it was completely unfair. Cloud was torn over what to do and too tired and in pain to dwell on it for the time being.

Zack pushed on, refusing to let the issue slide. "Was it Cadet Brice?" he asked quietly. It was the one cadet he suspected would have a grudge against Cloud. A nurse entered the cordoned off area then, smiling at Zack before moving to Cloud's bedside to check his IV.

"It's good to see you awake, Cloud," she said brightly. "How're you feeling? Still feeling a lot of pain in your chest?" Cloud nodded slightly. "Alright, but your breathing is a quite a bit easier for you now?"

"Yes, ma'am," Cloud hissed out.

"Good," the nurse said as she hung a new bag on the IV pole. "I'm just going to put some fresh bandages over your stitches and then I'll give you something for the pain."

"Do you, uh, want me to step out?" Zack questioned.

"Actually you could help if you want," the nurse offered and Zack agreed. "We're just going to get you sitting up here, Cloud," the nurse explained as she pressed a button on the side of the hospital bed. Cloud's upper body began to rise slowly. Zack could only imagine the pain it must have caused the cadet as he held his eyes shut tightly, stress lines visible on his forehead, his hands gripping the sheets on the bed tightly. Finally, the nurse stopped the bed's motion. "Okay, I know it hurts, but we need to have you sitting forward, away from the bed," she said as she took his left arm in her hands. "First Class," she spoke over to Zack who took the hint and reached for Cloud's right arm. Together they pulled him forward. A pained sound fell from Cloud's lips as he was moved, the pressure increasing on his injured ribs. He sucked in a few breaths through his clenched teeth, his body trembling a little as he held back from sobbing, releasing silent tears instead as he lowered his head. They fell from his eyes to land in his lap, getting absorbed by the bedding.

"Just keep a hold on him, First Class," the nurse instructed Zack as she let go of Cloud's left arm to untie his hospital gown. There wasn't too much in terms of visible injury on Cloud's back. Some bruising, but most of his torso was wrapped in white bandaging to help his broken ribs heal. The nurse began unwrapping the bandaging before slipping the hospital gown down on Cloud's arms, revealing the front of his torso. That's where most of the damages were apparent. . There were a few small square bandages taped to his skin, one over a spot on the left side of his chest and the other lower down on his abdomen. The nurse peeled the first on his chest away to reveal a short line of stitches, crusted a little with dried blood. She cleansed the area and taped a new bandage over the stitches before setting to work redressing the area on his abdomen. The doctor had mentioned internal bleeding so Zack figured the site must have been from the surgical repairs needed to stop the bleeding.

Zack had thought Cloud's face to have taken most of the damage but seeing his torso, he changed his mind. On some places, Zack could actually make out bruising shaped like treads off of the shoes that had made contact with Cloud's skin. No, not shoes. They were from boots. And he recognized them because they were from Shinra-issued boots. Cloud didn't need to confirm to Zack that his attackers were cadets. The evidence was obvious.

When the nurse had finished her work and Cloud's torso was re-bandaged and re-covered by his hospital gown, he was allowed to sit back. The bed was lowered once again, producing more loan groans of pain from Cloud as his body was stretched out again.

"Alright, dear, you can have that next dose of morphine now," the nurse announced and turned to the tray she'd wheeled in with her. She picked up a bag and hung it from the IV pole, getting it set up. Cloud would have preferred to have it injected directly into his veins, skipping the whole diluting process as it mixed with the other liquids flowing into him slowly.

"I'll be back to check on you in a little while," the nurse said with a smile before taking hold of her cart. She paused to speak to Zack. "He really needs to get some sleep," she said by way of a hint.

"Yeah, of course," he agreed, waiting until she'd left the cordoned area before leaning in towards Cloud. "Get some rest, buddy," he said softly. "I'll come back and see you later," he added, flashing him a bright smile before leaving.

Cloud was happy to be left alone. He appreciated the fact that Zack seemed to care but at the same time, he didn't want the officer pressuring him to give up his attackers. He couldn't handle more stress. His own worries were eating him up too badly already.


	18. Chapter 17

_Hey guys. Sorry for the long wait. I got ridiculously busy there for a bit and honestly I got a little discouraged there for awhile because I haven't been hearing from many of you. But I guess I have to assume since people are still adding this to their alert and favorites lists that a fair amount of you are enjoying what you're reading. I'm very grateful to those of you who review. I understand though why the majority of you can't or choose not to review. So I'll try to have more confidence that the story is being read and that it's liked haha! _

_Thanks again. Oh and little detail mistake I should point out. In the last chapter (not that anyone will probably remember) I wrote the day after Cloud's attack as being Sunday when it should have been Saturday. I'll get around to fixing that eventually. :)_

_Disclaimer: Don't own FFVII._

Chapter XVII

"We all make bad choices sometimes." Zack spoke those words to the doctor sitting across from him. "That's what Angeal told me on the first mission I really screwed up," he explained. "It was a comforting thought then, but…well I never got to ask him what happens if you never seem to make the right choices."

"You feel responsible for what happened to Cadet Strife?"

The doctor's words struck Zack a little unexpectedly. He'd mentioned what had happened to Cloud and the events leading up to it, mostly because he was expected to divulge the things that happened in his life between therapy sessions. But he hadn't really imagined the doctor making that connection between what he'd just said and what had happened to Cloud.

"No," Zack denied, lowering his hand from where it was propping his head up to rest it on the arm of the chair he was seated in. "It's not that, it's that—" He paused to think about what he was trying to say. Leaning forward slowly, he exhaled forcefully. "Yeah…" He accepted what the doctor was getting out of him. "Yeah, I guess I do."

He had told Cloud earlier that he would be back to check on him in the Infirmary later in the day. But he hadn't done so. He'd been struck with an overwhelming feeling of guilt after he'd left Cloud that afternoon. Worse than what he'd felt before he'd seen him. Seeing him in his injured condition had really struck something inside Zack and he'd decided instead to go to therapy.

"He had a choice as well," the doctor pointed out.

"Doc." Zack looked at him doubtfully. "I _ordered _him out. He wanted to stay in the dorm to study," he rationalized before shaking his head sadly. "His injuries are going to affect his training. And if he fails his physical and practical exams this term it'll be because of me."

There was a brief silence before the doctor responded. "Tell me, something, Zack. Suppose you lend your car to a friend, are you going to blame yourself if they are in an accident?"

"I don't have a car," Zack answered and doctor rolled his eyes a little.

"Hypothetically," the man said.

"I guess not…" Zack replied dully.

"I highly doubt Cadet Strife blames you for what's happened to him," the doctor added.

Under his breath, Zack mumbled skeptically. "Ya never know…"

000

Cloud shifted a little in his bed, trying to get into a position that hurt as little as possible. He soon realized there was likely no position that was going to get himself into that would ease the pain in his busted ribs. Breathing itself wasn't exactly pleasurable. He'd been attempting to control the expansion of his ribcage when he took in breaths. He wasn't sure how effective it was. It still hurt like a bitch.

He'd slept most of the afternoon and evening, waking sometime around eight-thirty when the nurse came in to change his bandages again. He'd asked for something to relieve his pain but the nurse had claimed he'd been given the maximum for the day. She'd been nice enough to offer to ask the doctor anyway. He'd been waiting for her to come back for about twenty minutes and he was desperately hoping when she returned she'd have a bag of clear liquid in her hand ready to attach to his intravenous. He wanted his body numbed so he could go back to sleep. He'd already been told that he was being exempted from training and classes in the last few weeks before holidays. He hated the thought. So much could be learned in two weeks. In fact, knowing that he was going to be behind that little bit almost brought him to tears. He just wanted to make it to the next term to have a better shot of getting into the SOLDIER program. He never imagined he'd be involved in so much drama.

The nurse returned then, and to Cloud's inner-excitement was holding a bag of clear liquid.

"The doctor said no more morphine tonight," she spoke then. Cloud spirits fell. "But this is acetaminophen. Not as strong but it should help at least a little."

"Thanks," Cloud hissed out through his clamped jaw.

"Oh, almost forgot to tell you," the nurse said as she began to hang the bag on the IV pole next to the bed. "You had some visitors this afternoon but the doctor thought it best you rest and not see anyone unnecessarily."

Cloud nodded. He wasn't particularly upset about missing the visitors, whoever they were. Zack had said he was going to visit him later that day but he couldn't very well see the doctor turning away an officer. Perhaps the officer had gotten busy. Or just forgot. It was a possibility. Cloud didn't exactly see himself as something that took priority over other things. Or anything for that matter.

"The doctor says you're going to be able to eat tomorrow morning," the nurse spoke, interrupting his thoughts. She chuckled a little. "Not that you'll be 'eating' in the normal sense of the word."

_Right_, Cloud thought. _My jaw_. He wouldn't be doing any chewing for several weeks.

"Don't you worry though, there'll be a wide assortment of liquids for you to have," the nurse said brightly. Cloud faked a bit of a half smile. "Alright, dear, get some more sleep," she said then. "Someone will be in a few times during the night to change over your IV bags. Don't be startled if you're woken up by a bleeping noise. It's just the monitor going off when the bags need changed." Cloud nodded once again and watched as the nurse left the area.

He was left alone then. Well. Not really _alone_. There were other people to the right and left of him. He couldn't see them past the curtains blocking his view. But he knew they were there. He could hear them. Some seemed to be in more pain than others. Maybe even more than him. Though he had a hard time believing it. He could have been more vocal about his own pain. He just didn't see the point.

It took a little longer for Cloud to drift off to sleep than he'd been hoping. The acetaminophen seemed to do very little for him. Still, he managed to get into that peaceful world of darkness once again. Unfortunately, it didn't last. He woke suddenly, not to the sound of bleeping as the nurse had warned might happen, but to the sounds of screaming. It was dark in his area, the only light coming from a small fluorescent bulb in the headboard of his bed. Reflex had him almost trying to sit up but he was reminded very fast of his injuries. The screams were still traveling through the area and they were close. Maybe fifteen feet away. There was agony in those loud cries. It sent shivers over Cloud's body.

Right then, his IV monitor began to bleep. He looked up at it. A red light was flashing on it. One of the bags on his pole was nearing empty.

_Great_, he thought as he listened to the bleeping roll on and on, accompanying the screams hanging in the air like background music. A minute or so passed and the sounds continued. It seemed that the nurses were busy trying to calm whoever it was that was screaming so horrendously. He began to wonder what would happen if his IV bag ran out of liquid before it could be changed. Would air begin to seep in through the tube and make its way to his arm? Cloud had heard of people dying from air entering their veins. He thought about it. Wondered what kind of death if would be.

The screaming stopped rather abruptly. All that could be heard now were the sounds of the nurses and Cloud's monitor. Finally, after another few moments, one of the nurses entered his cordoned area. She mostly ignored the fact that Cloud was awake as she took one glance at the monitor before departing again. Cloud was a little confused as he watched her go, leaving him with the monitor next to him still going off. The nurse was back shortly, however, with a new IV bag. She reset the monitor and the bleeping was cut off. Cloud almost sighed in relief not having the sound in his ears any longer.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting, Cloud," the nurse spoke then as she finished up with changing the bag on the IV pole. "There's a second class SOLDIER here who just woke up from an induced coma. He wasn't supposed to," she explained.

"Why?" Cloud questioned quietly.

"There was an accident that brought him into contact with some chemicals. He received some very extensive burns and was induced because the pain he'd have while awake would be too overwhelming."

Judging by his reaction to waking up, the SOLDIER must have been in some pretty incredible pain. It certainly put things into perspective…

000

Sunday morning. Zack's alarm dragged him out of his heavy sleep. Reaching over to the table next to the bed, he slammed the side of his fist down on the top of the clock, engaging the 'snooze' function. He lay there with his eyes closed another minute, trying to will himself up. He hadn't been able to sleep most of the night, figuring he probably dropped off around four in the morning. Having only had about two hours of sleep, he felt heavy and beyond exhausted. But he needed to get down to the dorms to check up on his cadets. He hadn't really paid much attention to them the day before, missing the morning workout with them because he'd slept in. He knew it wasn't required of him to spend as much time around them as he tried to. Only that he be accessible to them. But he liked to be around them. Liked to show them that not all officers fit into one category. Stoic, impersonal, more important than all cadets combined. Honestly, there were few officers really like that, but it's the impression they gave.

Groaning a little, Zack managed to turn himself over and move his legs over the side of the bed as he sat up, planting his feet on the cold tile of his floor. He rubbed his face with his hands before reaching over to the table next to the bed once again to turn his alarm off before the snooze time was up and the thing started whining at him again.

Rising to his feet stiffly, he made his way into the small bathroom attached to his room. After getting himself cleaned up a little, he re-entered his room where his eyes fell upon the one book resting on his desk on top of a mound of files. Cloud's chemistry text. The cadet was probably going to need that back.

Pushing all thoughts from his head, he got himself dressed and left his room, headed for the cadet dorms.

He worked out with his dorm despite the fact he knew he'd have a bit of a tough time keeping up. He could recall a time when he used to function well whether operating on one hour of sleep or ten. Months of not being sent on missions was making him inefficient. It frustrated him a little to realize that. Things would be different though in the new year. He would be back out, doing what he was good at.

Following his morning workout with the cadets, he made his way back to his room where he showered before getting himself ready to go down to the office. He grabbed Cloud's book before leaving.

When he entered the office, he spotted Kunsel sitting at one of the project tables in the center of the room. He headed over to him.

"Hey," Kunsel greeted when he'd looked up to see Zack pulling out one of the chairs at the table across from him. "You look like crap," he added.

"Thanks," Zack said with a light smile.

"I mean it," his friend stated. "You look like you haven't slept in days."

"One technically. And actually I had a whole two hours of sleep," Zack replied. He leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head.

"Really? Would this have anything to do with a certain cadet being admitted to the Infirmary?" Kunsel questioned.

"No, and how is it that you seem to know _everything_ that happens in this place?" Zack said fast, deflecting.

"Because I'm awesome, and yes, it does. You're transparent, face it."

"What's that supposed to mean? I am not," Zack retorted.

"When it comes to this cadet you are," Kunsel argued. "What is it about him that gets you so wound up?"

"Don't know what you're talking about."

Kunsel looked down at the chem book Zack had set on the table. "What's that?" he inquired.

"It belongs to—" Zack stopped himself. "A cadet," he finished.

"_A _cadet?" his friend echoed suspiciously. "Cadet Strife?" he asked.

"It's a long story, alright," Zack said as he folded his arms over his chest.

"I doubt that." Kunsel switched topics slightly. "He give up his attackers?"

"No," Zack said with a sigh. "And I don't get it. I just don't see why he'd want to protect the cadets who attacked him," Zack replied.

"What makes you think that's the reason?" Kunsel questioned.

"Well what else would it be? I mean, I guess he could be scared. That's understandable. But he should know that if he speaks up he can have the guys thrown out of the Academy and they won't be around to bother him anymore."

"Are you sure it's not because if he says something then he's practically forfeiting his chance at enrollment in the SOLDIER program this academic year?" Kunsel countered. Zack looked at him in slight confusion.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"If the kid formally accuses his attackers there will be an investigation. If there's an investigation then his attackers' enrollment in the Initiate program, along with his _own_ enrollment, will be temporarily suspended pending the completion of the investigation."

Zack snorted a little in disbelief, shaking his head. "No way," he responded.

"Yes way," Kunsel shot back. "Geeze, Fair, take another look at your protocol and procedure books."

Zack's mouth was open slightly in shock. Finally, he replied. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" he exclaimed before running a hand over his face. Kunsel shrugged slightly.

"That's the way it is," he proclaimed.

"Man…this sucks," Zack groaned, bringing himself to a stand and thinking hard about what to do.

"Yeah," Kunsel agreed, watching Zack pace. "You're not gonna let this go, are you?" he questioned after a moment.

"What do you think?" Zack asked, reaching for the textbook on the table before heading for the door.

He made his way down to the infirmary where he requested to see Cloud, hoping that the cadet would be awake. It was still kind of early. After being permitted to see the cadet, he made his way down to Cloud's cordoned area. When he entered his area he saw that Cloud was indeed awake and staring at the ceiling. He redirected his gaze at Zack.

"Hey, buddy," the officer greeted from the end of the bed. Cloud gave a nod in return. He wasn't entirely happy to see the officer. Rather, he wasn't happy at all. An hour earlier he'd had a visit from an officer from the Personal Injury department. One interrogation was enough for one day.

"I, uh, brought you something," Zack said as he held up a familiar book in his hand. Cloud recognized it as the textbook the officer had confiscated from him the night before last. "I think you earned it back," Zack added as he took a seat in the chair next to the bed. Cloud smiled a little as Zack set the book down on the table. Zack could feel that Cloud really didn't want him there. He must have suspected Zack was there to question him again. "I'm not here to talk about what happened," he said sincerely, hoping to ease Cloud's dicomfort. It did seem to help.

"I understand now why it is you don't want to give up the names of your attackers," the officer claimed then. "You found out what would happen if you did, didn't you?" he asked. Cloud nodded slightly. "I get that. It's fair to not want to risk your enrollment in the program. But it's not fair that the cadets who did this get to walk around unpunished." Cloud looked away and Zack continued promptly. "So, it's alright. You don't have to turn them in formally. I'll find the proof on my own that I need to have them expelled from the Academy." Cloud looked at him once again. His lips parted slightly so that he could speak. "Thank you, sir," he managed to get out.

"It's the least I can do," Zack said with a slight shrug. "But Cloud, I need their names. I mean, I'm pretty positive the leader in this is Brice, but I need the names of the others. I promise you I won't file a report. No one will know that you gave up the names." Cloud stared back at him looking very much like he had every intention of refusing once again. "You can trust me, Cloud," Zack assured him quietly, leaning in closer.

Cloud was visibly thinking about what to do. He'd never really put that much trust in anyone before. It was his fate he was going to be handing over. It scared him, but at the same time, something inside him told it was okay to surrender his trust to Zack. He parted his lips and Zack leaned in even closer.

"Curtis Dolt…and Lee Solice," he whispered, hoping that his words were discernable through his clamped teeth.

Zack sat back, straightening himself. "I'll take care of this," he said surely before rising from the chair under him. He smiled once more before leaving the area. He had every intention of keeping his promise to Cloud. He was going to find the proof that would get Cloud's attackers expelled. In the meantime, all Cloud would have to worry about would be his recovery.

It was two weeks before holidays. A long two weeks for everyone. For the cadets who were eager to get home. For the officers who were busy getting together their year-end reports, and for Cloud, who tried to be as productive as possible from his hospital bed. All his assignments, readings, and homework were gathered for him by Tanner and Paul delivered them to him daily. Cloud knew to expect Paul around the same time every day. He was the only consistent visitor, and really the only person outside of Zack who came to visit at all. Tanner had come by once. To check on his condition and 'encourage' him to recover speedily. But of course encouragement wasn't really one of Tanner's strengths.

He did have one other unexpected visitor. A few days before the holidays were to begin. Paul had arrived only minutes earlier with Cloud's homework for the night. Without warning, Cadet Ben Weeks came into the cordoned area. He paused a brief moment before stepping up in front of the end of Cloud's bed. Both Cloud and Paul looked at him in confusion and slight surprise.

"Did you tell someone I was the one who kicked your ass?" Weeks questioned firmly. Cloud stared back at him, his confusion growing. "I got questioned today by someone from the Disciplinary Board," the cadet revealed. "What the fuck?"

"Maybe you got questioned because the Dee Bee knows what an asshole you are," Paul suggested.

"I swear to God, Strife, if you put this shit on me I really will kick your ass!" Weeks warned.

"Why don't you get the hell out, Ben? Before someone reports you for harassment," Paul fired back at him. Weeks stood his ground a moment longer before finally departing. Cloud put his hands to his face, shaking his head in exasperation. He didn't know what was going on anymore. There was no reason for Zack to accuse Weeks of participating in his attack so obviously an informal investigation was being done through the DB. He figured out pretty quickly why it would be that Weeks was questioned. Because Weeks had been involved in an incident that resulted in injury to himself. It made sense. But Weeks didn't have anything to worry about. Cloud wasn't going to implicate him and after that one incident the cadet had stayed as far away from him as possible.

Cloud was greatly looking forward to the holidays. He was going to use the opportunity to get himself back into the dorm and looking after himself again. He just wanted to be left alone for awhile.

While Cloud was having a less than good day, Zack was feeling very optimistic about his. While he'd been wrapped up in year-end office work for the past week, he was finally going to have the opportunity to do something he'd been planning to do from the time he promised Cloud he would find proof that Brice and his friends had been his attackers. He was going to use the time the following morning while the cadets were outside with their drillers to search Brice's things. He was up half the night thinking about it. He was sure he would find something to implicate the cadet though he wasn't sure what. Hopefully the weapon that was used to stab Cloud in the chest. That would be very helpful.

The next morning, he followed his dorm out to the field to see to it they got started with their exercises. He searched out Brice, confirming to himself that the cadet was present outside before he made his way back to the dorms. Entering Brice's dorm, he paused inside the door a moment, looking around before making his way towards the end of the room. He had looked up Brice's ID and bunk number the night before.

When he reached Brice's bunk he spent a few moments looking over his mattress, lifting it to see under it. Finding nothing suspicious, he moved to the end of the bunk and reached into his pocket for his master keys. He searched out the appropriate key before unlocking the first drawer in Brice's dresser. He sifted through some clothing before unlocking the second drawer. He grew frustrated as he came up with nothing, rummaging through the contents of the drawers more impatiently. The last drawer was full of books and writing utensils. As he pushed some of the books around, a silver pen rolled toward the front of the drawer. Zack ignored it at first until suspicion struck him. He picked the pen up gently and looked over it. It was inscribed with Brice's name. It looked clean.

Slowly, he turned the tube of the pen to raise the tip. As he did so, his eyes were immediately drawn to a substance crusted around the tip. Carefully, he placed the pen in a zip lock bag he brought with him. He continued to search Brice's possessions but came up with nothing else of interest. Hopefully what he held in his hand would be enough. He needed to get down to the labs.

000

On the day that the holidays finally arrived, and the cadets were clearing out for their two-week vacation, Cloud received a phone call. He hadn't until that point known the phone next to him even worked. Hesitantly, he reached over and picked up the receiver, answering with a bit of a distorted 'Hello.' No matter how used to talking with his teeth pressed together he got, it was still awkward.

"Cloud! My baby, I've been trying to reach you for over a week but the doctors wouldn't let me speak to you. I've been trying to get together some money to get out there to see you," his slightly frantic-sounding mother spoke.

"Mom. S'okay. Don't waste the money," Cloud replied. His mother started to cry then.

"When they called…and-and told me what happened I—"

"I'm okay mom," he said without giving her time to finish. He was a little angry that his mother had been called. He suspected it was protocol since he was a minor but it wasn't fair that his mother had been left to worry about him and not been allowed to speak with him sooner.

"Cloud, what happened?" his mother questioned, pausing to get control of her emotions before continuing. "The doctor I spoke to said you were attacked and stabbed."

_Not the exact words the doctor used I hope_, Cloud thought to himself, though he wouldn't be shocked if they had been.

"It-it wasn't that bad, Mom…" he tried to explain without outright lying to her. "The doctor made it sound worse than it is," he added.

"But you're still in the hospital," his mother pointed out.

"It's just precaution. Really, Mom," he assured her.

"Did you see who attacked you? Where were you when it happened?"

Cloud closed his eyes and released a long breath. "No…Mom, just—don't worry, alright? I'm fine and they're going to be sending me back to the dorms like tomorrow."

That wasn't true. Well it could have been. He didn't know. He hadn't been given any clear answer as to when he was going to be released from the Infirmary. Cloud imagined that it was for convenience purposes that he hadn't been released yet. It was easier for the doctors to ensure his wounds were treated properly and that he was getting the necessary nutrition he needed since he was relying on liquids for the time being as his source of sustenance.

"You're not going to be here for Christmas, Cloud," his mother said then. Cloud realized suddenly he didn't need to make any fake excuses for why he wasn't going to be coming home. He had a legitimate one.

"No, I won't," he confirmed. "But I'll be home for a few months in the summer. I…I promise."

Uh oh. He promised. There would be no turning back from that. That's fine though, he decided. Because when that time came, he would be holding his offer of admittance to the SOLDIER program in his hand. And everyone in that goddamn town would know how successful he was becoming

000

Zack was sitting at his desk in the office when he finally received a call from the lab that he'd been waiting over a day for. They'd been swamped down there and though he'd put a rush on the results for the pen he'd turned in, he'd been told it may take longer than forty-eight hours. Because the results were not part of an authorized investigation, the sample was being tested as a personal favor to Zack from one of the lab techs. She and Zack had had something of a fling once. Turns out she still had a bit of a thing for him.

He'd been getting increasingly nervous as time was drawing closer to the checkout time for the cadets and he still had no results. He'd been hoping to catch Brice with something before he went home, otherwise he'd have to wait another two weeks to confront the cadet. When his phone rang it startled him slightly and he reached out quickly to grab it off the desk, flipping it open.

"Zack," he spoke into the receiver.

"Zack. It's Amber. I got your results in."

"Great! I'll be right down," he announced before shutting his phone, not giving her a chance to say anything else. He headed straight for her in the lab, barely able to hold himself back from running. The lab tech was waiting for him when he arrived. A tall, red-headed girl with beautiful almond-like eyes partially hidden behind her square-framed glasses.

"Gimme the good news, baby," he spoke to her as he approached her.

"Just like that?" Amber replied, holding onto the file in her hands tightly. "What do I get in return? Dinner?" she questioned, half-seriously.

Zack smiled, scratching the back of head a little awkwardly. "Amber, I—" he began to reply. She rolled her eyes.

"I know, I know. Lucky girl," the lab tech said as he handed the file over to Zack finally. He took it greedily, flipping it open. "Results were positive for blood and lung tissue," Amber explained as he was looking at the page in front of him. The blood was a match to Cadet Strife's. It's likely that the tissue is as well, though we'd need a sample to compare."

"Yes!" Zack said happily, punching the air with his one fist. "I gotta go," he added fast, turning but stopping himself abruptly. He pivoted around to face the lab tech again. "You're gorgeous!" he said to her enthusiastically before grabbing her hand to place a kiss on the back of it. "I owe you one!" he called to her as he raced away.

He rushed toward the dorms. He still had a few minutes before the cadets would be released. Brice's dorm had already filed out when Zack arrived. He refused to feel discouraged. He still had time. Making his way to the main exit fast, he pushed his way outside where he spotted Brice about to get into a taxi.

"Cadet Brice!" he called out over the crowd of boys. Brice looked back at him, watching as Zack descended the front steps of the building. Zack stopped in front of him. He placed a firm hand on the cadet's left shoulder. "I need to have a few words with you," he said firmly. He saw then in Brice's face exactly what he'd been hoping to see. That spark of apprehension. It might as well have been a confession of guilt.


	19. Chapter 18

_Hi everyone! Thanks for indulging my whininess and giving me all your great reviews for the previous chapter. They were very very encouraging and motivating! I'll be returning to school on Thursday so my times going to be limited again for writing but i'm going to try and keep up with regular updating. So once a week. At most every other week. Thank you so much for your patience. Also, after seeing that most of you spell Aerith's name as 'Aerith' and not 'Aeris' (and because 'Aeris' is not the actual correct spelling), starting in this chapter I will be using 'Aerith' instead of 'Aeris,' which is what I've previously used. Thanks! _

_Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII. _

Chapter XVIII

"You know you could get in trouble for this, Zack," Officer Grenage of the Disciplinary Board spoke without turning. His and Zack's eyes were both focused on the scene in front of them. They were watching through a window as Steven Brice was interrogated by another of the Disciplinary officers. Zack would have loved to interrogate Brice himself, but he wasn't authorized to do so. He held only a certification for interrogation of battle opponents in the field.

"I had probable cause," he rationalized firmly.

"What probable cause?" Grenage questioned.

"I received an anonymous tip," Zack said with a shrug.

"Which you should have reported and then waited for authorized personnel to carry out an investigative search of the cadet's personal effects," Grenage pointed out. Zack scoffed. "I mean it, Zack, you know better," the officer insisted. "You know it would only take a few days to get approval. What was the big rush?"

"This kid's scum, Tom," Zack replied, looking at the officer. "I wanted him out now. I didn't want him spending his holidays carefree. He doesn't deserve it," he explained. "I mean, _come on_, he's literally wearing some of the evidence against himself." He was referring to the ring that Brice was wearing on his right hand.

"You don't know that," Grenage said back. "His ring hasn't been tested." Speaking of the ring, they watched as Brice forfeited the piece of sterling over to his interrogator, the officer obviously having asked for it. "I'll tell you one thing," Grenage went on, "you're damn lucky that cadets sign contracts when they enter the Academy that have them giving up their personal property rights. Because if it weren't so, you'd be likely looking at a lawsuit."

Zack flashed him one of his cocky smirks. He'd already known as much. And Grenage knew he knew.

"Yeah, yeah," the officer said with the roll of his eyes. "That doesn't mean you're not going to find yourself in front of the Senior Disciplinary Board," he stated.

"Honestly," Zack spoke seriously. "It's worth it."

Zack had hoped that Brice would give up the names of the other boys that had been involved in Cloud's attack but the cadet said nothing. He didn't deny the involvement of other cadets, he just refused to give up their names. Zack had been annoyed by the interrogator. If it had been him in there questioning Brice, he would have offered a stay of enrolment if he turned over the others involved. Of course he would have no intentions of honouring the deal. He had no problems with lying to a kid who should be in jail. But the interrogator in the room with Brice now had offered no such deals.

Zack already knew the names of the boys who'd helped in giving Cloud a beating he wasn't likely to forget any time soon. But he had no direct proof linking them to the attack. The only other physical evidence on Cloud that could be analyzed were the bruises shaped like the treads on Shinra-issued boots. Photos had been taken but the treads were only partial markings. Perhaps if the size of the boot could be determined it could be used to indicate one of the others, but it wasn't looking very possible with what there was to analyze. It was looking like the only way he would be able to have Dolt and Solice removed from the Academy would be if either Cloud or Brice gave their names formally. And neither were about to do as much.

Zack felt a keen sense of satisfaction when he'd received a call in the office that afternoon and was told Brice was on his way out. The call came just moments before he received another call, this one ordering him down to meet with three officers from the Disciplinary Board. He agreed to be their immediately before hanging the phone up and sighing. Kunsel appeared then just outside his cubicle, resting his arms on the back partition.

"What's the verdict?" he asked.

"Whose verdict?" Zack replied, drawing a bit of a confused look from his friend. Kunsel hadn't actually known about what Zack had done to get the evidence he needed against Brice.

"What do you mean?" Kunsel inquired.

Zack leaned back in his chair and played with a bit of the plastic edging around his desk. "I _may_ have done a bit of a stupid thing," he announced.

"You're always doing stupid things," Kunsel pointed out.

"Yeah, well, this time I may be looking at reduction in rank," Zack declared. Kunsel's eyes widened and he grew serious.

"What'd you do?" he asked.

"You know how I mentioned I may have found some evidence to implicate one of the cadets who attacked Cadet Strife?" Zack began. Kunsel nodded. "Well I sorta might have not obtained the evidence according to protocol." Kunsel just stared back at him a moment before responded.

"You broke into his locked drawers, didn't you?"

"I didn't _break in_," Zack denied. "I have a master key."

"Zack, you could lose rank because of this!" his friend stated and Zack narrowed his eyes.

"Pretty sure I just said that," he said. He shook his head then. "You know what? I'm not even sure I care that much. I did what was right. Something Angeal would have advocated over rank any day." He met Kunsel's eyes to see him with an odd expression. "What?" he questioned.

"Nothing," Kunsel spoke back. "It's just…I think that's the first time you've said Angeal's name in almost a year."

Zack thought about it briefly. Kunsel could very well be right. Though he'd been talking about Angeal quite regularly with the councillor he was seeing.

"Uh…" Zack struggled with some form of reply but gave up, pushing his chair back and standing up.

"Where you going?" Kunsel asked.

"To meet my fate," Zack said ominously and dully at the same time. He took his trek up to the Senior DB offices. They were located on the same floor as the executive manager's office. It was the highest level he'd ever been allowed access to. The ten floors above remained open only to very select individuals. The only people he knew personally who had been allowed access were Angeal and Sephiroth. Their friend Genesis was the only other SOLDIER he'd heard of being granted access. He could imagine it being either incredible cool on those top levels of the building, or incredibly boring. Angeal had assured him on many occasions that there was nothing of interest on those floors but he always felt the man was just trying to extinguish his hyper curiosity.

He waited patiently in a chair outside one of the board rooms where he was told his meeting with the members of the board would be held. He couldn't help feeling a little nervous, his one leg shaking as he jiggled it. When it came right down to it, he didn't _really _care about his rank. He could work his way back up to first class again. Still, having his rank reduced would likely have an impact on his mission status. He really didn't want to be stuck hanging around the Academy much longer.

After about five minutes, the door to the room opened and one of the officers asked him to step in. He recognized all of them well. Not because he'd spent a great amount of time in front of the DB, but rather because they were in the 'elite' of Shinra, and as a first class himself he'd met them on several occasions during company functions. Beyond that, one had actually been rather close with Angeal. Officer Bryant. He smiled a little at Zack as he took a seat.

"Good to see you, Zack," Bryant spoke and Zack returned a friendly grin.

"You too," he replied politely.

"We're gonna get right to the point, Officer Fair," one of the others, Officer Keeys, spoke more formally. "You know what you did was against protocol."

"Yes, sir," Zack agreed.

"Would you like to explain why it is that you went against protocol?" Keeys questioned.

"Um…" Zack began, a little uneasily, scratching the back of his head. The word _no_ was on the tip of his tongue. "I really have no good reason for going against protocol," he announced at last. "It was important to me that I have Cadet Brice expelled from the Cadet Initiate program as soon as possible."

"And it couldn't possibly have waited until he got back from his vacation?" the third officer, Yuni, inquired. Zack looked at him.

"No. It couldn't. I wanted to ruin his holidays," he answered honestly. He glanced at Bryant to see him suppressing a chuckle.

Keeys sighed with slight exasperation. "Alright," he said after a moment. "You have an excellent record, Zack. The board has only ever had to see you…" he trailed off as he looked down at what Zack assumed was a file holding his information and disciplinary history, "once…before this. And that was a few years back now."

Zack recalled that time well. He'd pulled a prank on the dorm officer. Apparently, he wasn't as understanding as Zack was with his own dorm now.

"I think it's a general consensus among your peers that you do a good job most days," Keeys went on. "And it appears that you're due to resume mission clearance in just a few weeks," he added. "It'd be a shame if something got in the way of that…"

When a few seconds passed and the officer wasn't saying anything he replied with a soft, "Yes, sir. It would."

"Yes, it would," Keeys echoed. "So don't let it."

It took Zack a moment to realize that he'd been given a pass on his indiscretion. He smiled when the realization finally hit him. He followed the officers in standing when they'd done so, indicating the meeting was over. "No, sir, I won't," he agreed as he reached out a hand across the table to Keeys. "Thank you," he said as the man took his hand. He shook the hands of Bryant and Yuni as well before leaving the room, grinning with great relief.

000

One of the nurses had just brought in Cloud's dinner when Zack arrived in the Infirmary to tell him the news about Brice. If it could even be called dinner. A protein and vitamin-enriched drink. That's all it was. Tasted about as good as it sounded. He pulled the straw from between his lips when Zack entered his curtained area.

"What's the greatest news you could imagine?" the officer asked brightly when he bounded in.

"Getting accepted into SOLDIER," Cloud stated in slight confusion.

"Oh," Zack said. "What's the next greatest?"

"Getting to meet General Sephiroth." the cadet replied. Zack's expression changed to one of slight surprise.

"Really?" he questioned. "Wow…didn't know you wanted to meet him that bad…" He folded his arms over his chest as he thought of the general. He hadn't seen the man in close to a year. It had been after Angeal's death and they hadn't parted on good terms. He'd lashed out at Sephiroth for being absent in the times it really mattered. He hadn't even been at the memorial service held for Angeal. It was shortly after that the general went on what was feeling like permanent personal leave. "You think he's _that _great?" Zack asked with the slight shaking of his head.

"Isn't he?" Cloud countered a little bashfully.

"Uh…sure. He's…cool," Zack said a little awkwardly. He didn't want to lie about his true feelings but he also didn't want to destroy whatever image the cadet had in his mind of the general. Really, Zack knew that any hostile feelings he had toward Sephiroth stemmed from his own issues. When Angeal had gone rogue and abandoned the company and active duty, Sephiroth had stepped in and taken the place of role model for Zack. At the time, he'd clung to the belief that the man would be an adequate substitute for what he'd lost. It was stupid of him to believe as such.

Sighing, he returned to his reason for visiting. "Okay…so maybe my news isn't at the top of the list of great things, but Brice is gone! Outta here for good!" he stated happily.

Cloud's eyes widened slightly. "Really?" he questioned in disbelief.

"Really!" Zack confirmed. "He packed up his stuff and hit the road this afternoon."

"How'd you do it?" Cloud asked then, shaking his head.

Zack took a seat on the side of the bed. "I found what he stabbed you with," the officer explained.

"What was it?" Cloud asked eagerly. It had been bothering him that he'd never known what it was.

"A pen."

"A pen?" Cloud repeated sceptically. "Felt like a pool cue," he muttered. Indeed, the object had felt many times longer and wider than a pen.

"I do have a bit of bad news though…" Zack said then with a bit of regret lingering in his tone. Cloud waited to hear what it was.

"There's really no proof to use against Cadets Dolt and Solice…" he revealed slowly. Cloud lowered his eyes. "I could have them interrogated. But unless they confess, it's unlikely anything will come of it. Sorry, kid," Zack said sadly. Cloud shrugged a little.

"Could be worse," he said, drawing a smile from Zack. "Thank you, sir," Cloud added gratefully.

"It was my pleasure," Zack replied happily. "Just wish I could do more," he said as he brought himself to a stand again.

"I'll take what I can get," Cloud stated sincerely. And he _was_ happy. Knowing Brice was gone was a huge weight off his shoulders. That was at least one less thing to worry about.

The day before Christmas, Cloud received a gift from the Infirmary. A dental surgeon had come in to replace the wires in his jaw with titanium screws and a plate. Which meant that he would no longer be faced with speech and food restriction. He was sure it was going to top off any gift he could possibly receive that year. Though as far as he knew he wasn't receiving anything else. He got a call from his mother later that night. She'd explained to him that she was going to keep the gifts she had for him until he came to visit but that she'd sent a card in the mail. At the rate mail arrived at the Academy he would likely be receiving it sometime in February.

It was a quiet night in the Infirmary, despite it being Christmas Eve. He'd found himself unable to sleep because of it. He'd grown used to commotion. He spent the hours staring at the clock and wishing he still had an IV attached to his arm. Then at least he'd know someone would be coming in to change over the bags. Something to break up the silence. He kept his eyes focused on the thin black hands of the clock on the wall ahead of him as they drew nearer to twelve. At the stroke of midnight, he sat himself up slowly. He pulled the covers down on the bed and moved his legs over the side, setting his feet on the floor. Fortunately, he'd been given a shirt and pants to wear a little under a week ago, rather than the hospital gown. Now that he was able to actually get out of the bed and move himself around it made more sense. And was far less embarrassing.

Lifting himself up to a stand, he paused a moment, placing his one hand on the wall and the other over his ribs on his one side. They protested his movements. Of everything they seemed to be healing the slowest. He paid them no mind as he began his slow, barefooted trek out of his cordoned area and past several of the others that had been to the right of his. He had his sights set on a window at the end of the room. As he neared it he could see flakes of falling snow. When he'd reached the window he placed his palms against it and stared out on one of the courtyards.

He found himself missing his small hometown, if only for the fact that it was beautiful in the winter. He wished rather suddenly that he were there instead of where he was. He needed for something good to happen in his life, something to confirm to him that he wasn't being dumb and subjecting himself to unnecessary pain for nothing. Something. Anything.

000

Cloud had every intention of sleeping through most of the holiday that he felt he was somewhat missing out on. But he was woken early by someone nudging him insistently. When he finally opened his eyes he looked up to see Zack standing next to the bed.

"Unn…what are you doing here?" he questioned groggily.

"Hey! You're talking and I can actually understand what the hell you're saying!" the officer joked.

"Huh? Oh…right," Cloud replied slowly as he tried to sit himself up a little. Zack took action and pressed the button near the bed to raise the head of the bed enough that Cloud was in a semi-comfortable slouched position. Now that Zack had indirectly mentioned his jaw, he became aware of the ache in it. He was told to expect it to be sore for a week or longer. He glanced at the clock then. 7:33 a.m.

"Why are you here so early?" he inquired, and shaking his head he added "And why aren't you at home. Don't you get personal leave for the holidays, sir?"

"Psh, it's just family," Zack answered with the casual wave of his hand. "And besides, I'd have to be back in two days for work. Really not worth the trip."

Cloud nodded in understanding, though he was still waiting for his body to clue into the fact he was awake and not still sleeping. "Uh…so you decided to come here...at seven-thirty?" he said.

"Well I just couldn't wait to come give you your Christmas gift," Zack explained with a bright expression.

"M-my gift?" Cloud stuttered in slight shock. He watched as Zack headed away and bent down to pick something up that was hidden behind the one curtain to his left.

"Ta da!" he said as he revealed what it was he'd brought Cloud. From behind the curtain he pulled a small artificial Christmas Tree, about a foot and a half tall. Cloud smiled in surprise and laughed a little as he watched Zack struggle to make room on the table next to the bed for it.

"Where'd you get it?" Cloud questioned.

"The cafeteria," Zack revealed. "They've got like a million down there," he added.

"Thank you, sir," Cloud said gratefully. He really hadn't been expecting anything that day.

"Oh, there's something else," the officer announced before reaching into one of his back pockets. He held in his hand then a rectangular object wrapped in newspaper. He passed it over to Cloud who smirked at the wrapping job. "Yeah, well, the newspaper does the job as well as any wrapping paper," Zack spoke. "And you can even read it after."

Cloud pulled at the tape on the paper. As the paper fell away from the object he was left holding a book. It was an older book, the pages yellowed and the spine creased many times over. The title read _The Mistidian Chronicles_.

"I don't know if you know, but a lot of SOLDIER's philosophy and principles were influenced by certain pieces of literature," Zack began to explain. "That book is one of them. I've been told there's less than twenty copies of that book in circulation around the world. My mentor gave it to me to read shortly after he took charge of me. I, uh, never finished it. But then, there aren't many books I _have _finished. I thought maybe you might like to have a look at it. Seems like the kinda thing you'd be interested in. I hope." He gave a little nervous laugh.

"I would be," Cloud spoke fast. "I mean, I am," he corrected himself. "Thank you," he added.

The phone rang next to the bed, partially hidden under the branches of the fake Christmas tree. Cloud reached for it. "Sorry," he muttered to Zack and the officer waved it off as perfectly fine. "Hello?" he spoke into the receiver. He'd been half-expecting his mom. But it wasn't _her_. Another female voice answered.

"Cloud?" the voice of Tifa Lockhart spoke.

_Answer her_, Cloud told himself fast. "Hi, yeah, it is," he said, shaking his head at the awkwardness of his words.

"Hi!" Tifa said then, happily. "Merry Christmas!"

He smiled a little and glanced at Zack as he replied. "You too." Zack was watching him in what seemed to be amusement.

"How are you feeling?" Tifa inquired next.

"Uh, oka—" he began to answer but she continued suddenly.

"I've been really worried about you. So has your mom. She was a wreck when she first got a call from the Academy. She was so relieved when she finally got to talk to you. The officer she talked to barely gave any details. What happened?"

Zack rose from his seat and headed toward the end of the bed.

"Umm...one second," Cloud told Tifa before lowering the phone and placing his hand over the receiver. "You're leaving, sir?" he questioned quickly. He wondered if it had sounded like something spoken with needy undertones.

"Yeah," the officer said with a nod as he pivoted back around. "I'll let you have some privacy. I have some stuff I need to get done."

Cloud's one eyebrow raised slightly as he tried to imagine what it would be that Zack would have to get done on Christmas Day.

"Well, thank you again, sir. For the gifts," he said, wishing he had at least _something _to give back to the officer in return.

Zack's only reply was the wave of his hand and a bright smile before disappearing behind the one curtain.

Zack left the Infirmary in no particular hurry. He actually had nothing to do until later that afternoon. In the time being he resolved to try for some sleep. He'd spent the night before lying awake and waiting for time to roll around to a decent hour when he could get up and start the day.

That night would be the Shinra Christmas Banquet. It was held every year on Christmas, which was somewhat ridiculous. The one day of the year people were meant to be with their families and they were expected to spend it with co-workers. It made little difference to Zack since he wouldn't be with his family either way and the one person he did want to spend the evening with would be accompanying him to the banquet.

Aerith. He couldn't wait to see her. He'd picked up her gift the day before. A pair of diamond drop earrings. He was looking forward to seeing the look on her face when he gave them to her.

After a few more hours of lying in bed with his eyes closed, he finally managed to doze off, waking suddenly to his phone ringing from the nightstand next to his bed. He reached over and picked it up, flipping it open fast, just to get the ringing to stop. He realized then after a moment he should probably make some form of greeting into the receiver.

"Zack," he mumbled.

"Are you sleeping?" the caller spoke.

_Kunsel_. Zack recognized the voice.

"I was," he replied. "What time is it?"

"Sixteen hundred," Kunsel answered. "I'm guessing you aren't ready to go yet," he added.

"Uh..." Zack began to answer.

"Well, get your ass in gear, Fair, I'll meet you down in the lobby in a half hour," his friend urged.

"Okay, okay, I'll see you down there," Zack said with the slight roll of his eyes before flipping the phone shut. With a groan, he pulled himself up off the bed and headed for the bathroom to get showered and ready to go. His tux was hanging in the small closet in his room. There were a few events throughout the year that formal attire was mandatory. Which he really didn't appreciate. During those special events of the year, SOLDIERs were expected to set aside their weaponry and in his mind their identities as a specialized force in order to become men. Just men. Not even the smallest of knives could be carried. All weaponry, no matter how small was removed at the doors to whatever facility the event was taking place in. It always bothered Zack. If their enemies knew just how defenceless they were on those few nights a year, there was no doubt they'd be taking advantage of it.

It was for that reason and several others that he didn't really like the thought of Aerith coming with him to such events. But she really enjoyed it and he knew it was something she looked forward to.

He didn't bother to do up his jacket or tie before leaving his room, taking one last glance at his sword before closing the door and locking it.

Kunsel was waiting for him down in the lobby with a few other officers. It was only the first class and select second class SOLDIERs who were invited to the banquet where they would mingle with the rest of the Shinra elite. The executives. There weren't very many first class SOLDIERs left. Zack knew of almost every one. And for that matter, the numbers of second and third class SOLDIERs had dropped dramatically due to the war in Wutai. And of course, there was another cause. No one could forget how a former first class had convinced a large group of second and thirds to join him in a personal rebellion. Genesis Rhapsodos was the first class SOLDIER. No one spoke of the man. But they all recalled easily what the man had become. Obsessed. Obsessed with an idea. The idea that he was a creation. Not human, but monster. He certainly lived up to his beliefs.

"The car's on its way," Kunsel spoke up then as Zack was approaching. "We can stop at Aerith's on the way to the hall," he added.

"Sounds good," Zack replied with a nod.

"You couldn't at least do the tie?" his friend said then as he motioned to the undone piece of material hanging around Zack's neck.

"We aren't there yet, are we?" he countered.

"Don't you want your girlfriend to see you looking better than that?" Kunsel posed.

"I think she knows by now what to expect of me," Zack answered with a smug grin. When his friend only stared at him expectantly, he sighed and reached up to assemble his tie. "Pain in my ass..." he grumbled under his breath.

"That's no way to talk about Aerith," Kunsel commented jokingly.

"_You're _the pain in my ass," Zack said fast. "Aerith's what makes all this crap worth it."

Kunsel laughed as he glanced out past the glass doors ahead of them toward the street. "Car's here," he announced as he headed toward it. He stopped and looked back at Zack who was still busy trying to see what he was doing with his tie. "C'mon, Fair," Kunsel urged as he returned to Zack and grabbed his one arm before pulling him towards the main doors.

The trip to Aerith's was out of the way, but Kunsel didn't seem to mind. Several people down in the slums stopped to watch the sleek limo as it was passing by. The limo stopped outside Aerith's house and Zack got out to go get her. He knocked a few times on the front door and waited. A moment later the door was opening and he was greeted by Aerith's mother, Elmyra.

"Hi, Ms. Gainsborough," Zack said with a polite nod. Elmyra smiled.

"Hello, Zack. You're looking very nice," she complimented.

"Thanks, having a good Christmas I hope," he replied.

"Oh yes, very much. I know Aerith is looking forward to going out with you tonight."

"Sorry I have to steal her away from you," Zack apologized awkwardly, scratching at the back of his head.

"That's quite alright, I would rather she—"

Elmyra was interrupted by Aerith herself, calling to her from somewhere nearby.

"Mom, I can't find my purse, did you put it somewhere?" Aerith's voice called impatiently. Elmyra stepped back from the doorway then, leaving the door open.

"No, honey, I haven't seen it," she called back to her daughter as she retreated into the house to help her look for her purse. Zack waited patiently on the doorstep, glancing back at the car once or twice. Just then, Aerith appeared as she was passing by the entrance-way, stopping abruptly as she noticed Zack. She all but took his breath away, dressed in a long, red, one shoulder evening gown. It had silver beading leading from the one shoulder strap and bursting across the bust. He stepped into the house without really thinking, just wanting to get closer to her.

"Mr. Fair, you're in a tuxedo!" she remarked then with a wide smile. Zack cut out of his trance to answer her.

"Don't I know it," he replied "I hate these things."

"But you look so handsome," she claimed as she walked towards him.

"Really?" Zack said in slight surprise. "Well then I'm never taking it off," he joked.

"Here, honey," Elmyra spoke up as she entered the hall once again. She had a small red handbag in her hand. She passed it to Aerith along with a beaded shoulder wrap that matched her dress.

"Thanks, Mom," Aerith said as she took the items from her and reached out to give her a kiss on the cheek. She turned to Zack then and he held out his arm for her to take.

"Take care, Ms. Gainsborough," Zack called back as they headed out the door.

"I won't wait up!" Elmyra said in return, making Zack laugh nervously and Aerith blush a little. The woman closed the door then and Zack couldn't help but return his eyes to Aerith as they approached the waiting car. He couldn't take his eyes off her the entire drive. He knew there was no way she didn't notice. That was confirmed when they reached the banquet hall and got out of the car.

"What?" she finally questioned with a laugh.

"Nothing," he replied quickly. "You just look amazing is all," he confessed. Aerith looked away from him bashfully.

"My mom. She made me buy this dress with some of the money from the flower sales. It was probably the most money I've ever spent on one thing in my life," she explained. "She did my hair up for me," she added.

Zack had noticed her hair as well. He'd never seen it up before. Not like that.

"Only thing I wasn't able to get were earrings," Aerith said lightly as they reached the doors to the hall. He stopped her there.

"Funny you should mention..." he voiced as he reached into one of his pockets. He'd been so caught up in his marvels over her that he'd forgotten her gift. He pulled the small black box from his pocket and held it out to her. She smiled as she took it from him slowly. Opening the box, her face lit up as she set eyes on the set of earrings he'd bought for her. "I kinda figured you may want some of these for tonight," he said as he watched her expression.

"Zack..." she breathed his name. She laughed then. "I can't believe it. They're so beautiful." She touched one of them gingerly.

"On you, they will be," he countered. He took the box back from her and held it while she removed them from the soft cushion anchoring them and placed them in her ears. It was true. On her, they looked stunning. "Shall we?" he spoke up as he placed the empty box back in his pocket and returned his arm to her.

"Yes, let's make our entrance," Aerith replied happily. Together they passed through the open double doors into the foyer of the hall.

Inside, a security guard went over Zack with a scanner before he and Aerith were permitted to enter the main hall through a metal detector.

The room was fairly full with members of Shinra and their invited guests at that point, though, as Zack scanned the crowd, he didn't see the president anywhere. Clearly the man was going to make one of his 'fashionably late' appearances.

That was in fact the case, as President Shinra arrived twenty-five minutes later than everyone else, with his following of Turks fanning in next to him on either side. His son, Rufus, trailed in behind. At that point, most of the guests were eager to eat, their mouths watering as the smell of food was drifting out from the nearby kitchen. The dinners were always fantastic, as far as Zack could tell. He'd been to several of the events in the past few years and each time he'd not been disappointed. The meals were typically seven courses. Appetizer, soup, salad, sorbet, chicken, fish, dessert.

Zack had been overwhelmed the first time he'd sat down at one of the events to eat and found himself faced with what seemed to be endless silverware and dishes. Angeal had been there to explain to him which utensil was meant for what. It took him a few more events before he could remember on his own what they were for. On one occasion he couldn't be bothered trying to remember and instead ate every course with the same salad fork. Angeal hadn't been pleased.

That night's dinner was exceptional, as to be expected. While the last plates were being cleared away by the hospitality staff, Zack leaned back in his chair with a toothpick in his mouth, waiting for Aerith to return from freshening up in the bathroom.

"Did you enjoy the meal?" a voice spoke from behind him suddenly, startling him a little. "I thought the fish was a little too well-done." He turned to see a familiar Turk standing behind him.

"Tseng!" Zack said in surprise, raising himself from his chair. "Well long time, no see," he added. The Turk held out his hand and he accepted it.

"Indeed. We've been busy," Tseng revealed. Zack assumed he was referring to the Turks in general. "How 'bout you?" the dark-haired man questioned.

"Yeah, busy here too," Zack agreed. "Not the busy I'd like, but yeah, busy."

"Are you here with...anyone?" the Turk inquired then, looking around as if he expected to see Zack's date appear out of thin air.

"Yeah. I'm here with—" Zack began but Tseng finished his sentence for him.

"Aerith."

"Yeah," Zack confirmed. He could see the Turks eyes focused on something past him and turned to see Aerith approaching. She smiled as she stopped next to Zack.

"Tseng," she greeted with a nod. "Good to see you."

"You as well," the Turk replied as he reached out to take one of Aerith's hands in his. "You look lovely," he added before raising her hand up slightly so he could place a kiss on the back of it.

"Yeah, yeah," Zack interrupted, taking Aerith's hand from him and holding it in his own protectively. "You're a real charmer, Tseng," he said sarcastically. Aerith giggled a little beside him.

"No need to be jealous, Zack," she said softly. "Tseng and I are just friends."

"That's right," Tseng agreed. "Friends."

Zack raised a questioning eyebrow. "Right..." he muttered. "Where have you been anyway?" he asked the Turk. "I don't think I've seen you in months."

"Wutai," the man revealed. "The peace treaty seems to be holding up well. The citizens appear to be adjusting just fine to Shinra's occupation in their lands. They've been as welcoming as any friends."

"Friends?" a man nearby spoke. Zack and Tseng turned to face the man. He was tall and thin with jet black hair and features not unlike that of a Wutanese man. "Are you so naive as to believe _that_?" the man put forth. Tseng glanced at Zack before answering.

"I have seen it," he claimed.

"Then I think your eyes deceive you. It is a ploy. A veil to hide the truth," the man countered.

"What truth?" Zack asked.

"That they are only waiting until the right moment to strike back at Shinra with extreme force."

"Oh, yeah? And what would you know about it?" Zack challenged.

"I have lived amongst the people there. Have heard them share their true feelings about the 'Shinra occupation'," he explained. "They have no intentions of bowing to another power."

"And just who are you to make such claims?" Tseng fired back at him.

"I am a member of the United Peoples Association for Equal Government," the man revealed.

"Oh," Zack responded over-emphatically. "A politician."

"Shinra is far too conceded to understand how a people like the Wutanese would feel having them infiltrating their way of life. You, of all people should understand that," the man argued. He was looking at Tseng.

"I am a full supporter of anything Shinra feels is necessary," Tseng shot back. They were engaged in a short stare-down before the man caved.

"I hope you're good at your job, sir," he said, his voice quivering a little in what may have been anger. "Because sooner or later, the president is going to find himself being hunted down in his _own _territory."

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" Zack spoke up.

"No. It's not a threat. It's inevitability," he man answered firmly before walking away.

Zack shared another brief look with Tseng before the Turk excused himself. Zack turned his attention back to Aerith, seeing her looking a little confused and worried. He gave her a reassuring smile.

"Nothing like drama on a night like this," he spoke evenly. The music had began to play sometime during the conversation with who Zack had dubbed 'Crazy Politician Man' and the dance floor had become occupied by several couples. Zack dared to look down at Aerith even though he knew what was coming. She didn't even have to say anything. "No way," he denied, shaking his head.

"Oh, come on, Zack, you don't even really have to do anything," Aerith whined. She set her purse and wrap down and grabbed his hand. He only slightly resisted being pulled out onto the dance floor.

"You're actually not as bad as you think," Aerith mentioned after a few moments.

"I know," Zack admitted, making her laugh a little at his confidence. "I just don't like it."

He noticed once as they were turning, Tseng watching from the president's side. He didn't know how he felt about the Turk. Professionally speaking, there was no reason for him not to trust the man. He'd been a good ally in the field. But on a personal level...well at the moment he couldn't decide. Tseng had known Aerith longer than he had. All Aerith ever said was that they were friends. Tseng refused to say much of anything and Zack was in no way going to lower himself to the point at which he was jealous enough to ask. Aerith was with him. Most times he was able to convince himself that was enough.

By the time people began to clear out of the hall, it was near midnight. Zack was feeling a little inebriated as he was walking with Aerith out of the building. People were crowded on the steps waiting for their cars to arrive. Aerith realized then that she'd left her purse back inside. Zack left her while he went to retrieve it. When he'd returned he spotted Tseng with her at the bottom of the large concrete staircase leading down to the street. He released a frustrated exhale and prepared himself to interrupt. Something caught his eye then. The president was headed down the stairs with two of his Turks ahead of him and one behind. Crazy Politician Man intercepted him on the short landing in the center of the staircase, cutting him off from the two Turks ahead. At that moment, something hit Zack's left shoulder. A man pushed past him, glancing back for only a moment. Zack didn't recognize him, but something was off about him. While he was dressed in a tux, his hair was displaced and his face unshaven. Zack watched him as he reached into his jacket. He was headed for the president.

Without another moment's thought, he dropped Aerith's purse and went after him. "Hey!" he called out and the man turned once again. As he did, Zack could see he was reaching for something black in a holster on his hip. All he could think of was '_gun_'. He reacted fast then, closing the distance between them in an instant and throwing himself into him. It sent them both to the stairs where they rolled towards the street. People cried out in surprise. Zack gained the upper hand quickly as they came to a stop on the pavement at the bottom of the stairs, pinning the man on his stomach and holding his one arm immobilized.

"What the hell are you doing?!" the man questioned angrily. Zack ignored his question as he reached around to get at whatever the man had been reaching for. He was shocked to realize it was a cell phone.

"A phone," he said aloud. The man struggled below him.

"What the hell did you think it was?!" he snapped.

Zack eased up off him then, looking up at the crowd of faces staring down at him. _Great_, he thought. _I suppose he's going to be someone really important too_. He reached down to help the man up.

"Uh, sorry about that, man," he said uneasily.

"Goddamn right you're sorry!" the man shouted. "Give me back my phone!" he demanded.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Zack replied as he looked down at the phone. "It's a nice one," he added as he looked at the screen. A text message came in as he was holding it. The message came up on the screen without any prompt to be read.

_Roger. We're headed your way. Take cover._

Zack could only stare at the message as he read it. The man in front of him said nothing else, as though he knew he'd been caught for something. Zack could see a vehicle coming down the road fast, slowing as it approached. It wasn't a limo or executive transport vehicle. It was a black spray-painted van. Realization hit him as the van's side door slid open while it was still in motion. The crowd was about to be fired upon.


	20. Chapter 19

_I know. HOLY CRAP I'M UPDATING. For anyone who reviewed my last chapter of this story you should gotten replies with personal apologies, but for those who don't review, let me say I am so VERY VERY sorry it's taken so long for this chapter to get out. It's a pretty big deal for me not being able to update like once a week or every other week at least. I harbour a lot of guilt over that lol. I won't bore you with tales of how busy I've been (or continue to be). I'll let you get on with the reading. I'll try to make sure the next chapter is out within the next few weeks. Obviously I can't promise it but I'll really try. Thank you very much all of you for being so patient with me. Hugs all around! _

_Cheers guys. _

_Disclaimer: no own FFVII. _

Chapter XIX

"GET DOWN!"

The words burst from Zack loudly as he finally found his voice. The black van was less than forty feet away. Very few people actually ducked before the sound of gunfire erupted into the area. Zack was at least one of the smarter ones, having made it behind one of the limos lined up on the side of the road before the occupants of the van had open-fired. He tucked into his one pocket the cell phone he still held in his hand from the man he'd tackled moments before. The man who was now running off down the street.

People screamed as bullets cut through the air, hitting the metal of cars, the concrete of the banquet hall steps and the flesh of several men and women. Zack's immediate thoughts were on Aerith. He couldn't see her from where he was.

The van had pulled to a stop and was now firing in stationary position on the fearful crowd. People were running for the doors to the hall as a few of the security guards had begun firing back on the van. Cries of pain were ringing out in the cold night air. Zack wasn't sure what he should do. He felt slightly helpless crouched there behind the one limo, unarmed and anxious. A security guard had been stupidly rushing down the stairs to charge the van and as he set foot on the sidewalk a bullet ripped through his stomach and his rifle fell from his hands to the pavement, a few feet from Zack. He reached for it quickly, a little disappointed over having a firearm as his only option of weapon.

Taking hold of the door handle behind him, he opened the limo door and kept low as he climbed into the back of the vehicle. He moved to the opposite side door, raising his head just enough to be able to see through the busted window and get an idea of where his targets were situated. They were all heavily armoured. Resting the end of the rifle on the ledge of the window, he aimed for the driver first. Getting the man in his sight, he fired the first shot. The bullet hit the driver in his neck, a little lower than Zack had been aiming for but his first target was down just the same. Before one of the others could react, he adjusted his aim and fired a second shot. The bullet found its way to the target's shoulder, the man's armour stopping it before it could reach skin, but the force at least found the man on the floor of the van. The others were onto Zack then as two of the remaining four firing turned his way. He and the targets fired simultaneously. He saw one of them get clipped in the ear by one of his bullets before he was forced to duck down once more. The limo was armoured to a certain degree, keeping most of the bullets from penetrating the cavity.

There was a lull then in the firing and Zack assumed his targets were reloading their weapons, but as he peered out the window once more he realized what was actually about to happen. Abandoning the rifle, he leapt for the door he'd entered through, stumbling out onto the sidewalk as a small explosion erupted inside the vehicle from the grenade that was tossed in seconds before. His arms flew up over his head to protect himself but the force of the explosion pushed him forward onto the stairs ahead of him, a blast of heat rushing at his back as debris flew towards him. He looked back towards the van to see one of the shooters taking the driver's place in the front seat. The side door slid shut and the van screeched forward before speeding off down the street, leaving behind only the scent of burnt rubber drifting across the area.

Only the sounds of injured people moaning and crying were audible now. Beyond that, the street was eerily quiet. Slowly, Zack lifted himself to his hands and knees on the stairs. Immediately, he wanted to search for Aerith. He gazed over at the place he'd last seen her but she wasn't there. As he scanned the stairs ahead of him he could spot no sign of her there either. _She must have made it inside_, he thought to himself hopefully beforehe began his half-crawl up the stairs towards the entrance to the hall. His legs felt like jelly. As he reached the centre of the stairs he was stopped by a seriously injured man. Zack recognized him as one of the SOLDIER program's senior advisors. The man had caught hold of Zack's jacket, though he probably hadn't meant to. He'd probably been reaching blindly, looking for anything he could to hold on to. He'd been shot twice in the chest. His blood was flowing out of the wounds fast as he struggled to breathe. Zack stopped next to him, looking around momentarily before placing a hand on one of the man's wounds.

"It's alright, sir," Zack spoke to the man below him softly. "Help's on the way. Just hang in there," he urged. He assumed at least that help was on the way. Someone must have made the call to emergency services by now.

The advisor sputtered out blood as he tried to say something. Zack urged him not to try and talk. As Zack looked around, he could see that some of the people must have been trampled and injured when the crowd had rushed back towards the hall. He felt another small tug at his jacket and without looking at the advisor lying below him he assured him again that help would be there soon. But when he finally looked down again, the man was no longer breathing.

"Sir?" Zack spoke uneasily before shaking the man a little. "Sir!" he repeated. For a moment he contemplated attempting resuscitation but his attention was pulled away by the sound of someone nearby begging for help. He turned to see an older woman with some cuts on her forehead and one arm trying to get up the stairs. Zack looked back at the advisor's body below him. He pulled the material of his jacket from the man's clenched hand gently before turning to help the woman up the stairs. Other, presumably relatively uninjured, people had risen from where they'd been lying down, trying to avoid the barrage of bullets, and had begun to help some of the injured back towards the hall. As Zack was helping the older lady up the stairs, he could hear pleas around him for his help. Some went as far as to take hold of his legs as he passed by. He was trying to be patient and calm, and tried to assure them he'd come back to help them but inside he was freaking out and wanting nothing more than to kick their hands away and focus on finding Aerith.

The moment he'd set foot in the hall, his eyes were searching out that red dress of hers. He found himself in the midst of a crowd of anxious and fearful faces. Hall staff were trying to do their best to help the injured with first aid kits. When Zack had gotten the woman in his hands safe and sitting down, he wasted not another moment more in finding Aerith. He called her name out loudly, matching the volume of the crowd, growing more panicked with each passing second he didn't see her.

Finally, from somewhere nearby, he could hear his own name called back to him. As he turned in the direction of her voice, he spotted her still with Tseng, thought he seemed to be doing something with her arm. As Zack moved closer, he could see that the Turk was wrapping some bandaging around her upper left arm.

Zack shoved a few people out of the way carelessly during his quick approach. Aerith moved past Tseng before he'd had a chance to tie the bandage. She lunged toward Zack as he reached for her. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, releasing a relieved breath.

"I was so worried you'd been hurt," Aerith spoke into his chest.

"I'm fine," Zack replied, still squeezing her, not wanting to let go.

"Aerith," Tseng spoke, his voice prying its way in between them. "Let me finish the bandage," he urged. Zack looked at her arm.

"What happened?" he asked fast.

"It's nothing," Aerith replied as she pulled back out of his embrace. "It's just a graze," she assured him.

Zack opened his mouth to speak again but Tseng interjected. All he had a chance to say was Aerith's name once more before Zack cut him off.

"I think I can take it from here, Tseng, thanks," he spouted out with little to no care over how rude he sounded.

"Can you?" the Turk responded sharply. That comment would have surely sparked a verbal face-off had Zack not heard his name shouted to him and a moment later found himself facing Kunsel. Zack was shocked to see him.

"Kunsel! What the hell are you doing here?" he questioned as he turned away from Tseng. "I thought you left like an hour ago," Kunsel looked about as good as Zack felt, his tux out of order and spots of blood dotting his shirt.

"I was going to, then I got held up talking to some senior associate of some damn company I can't even remember now. The guy got blown away standing next to me," Kunsel explained a little shakily. "C'mon," he added, "we gotta help the people outside." He motioned for Zack to follow him.

"In a minute!" Zack called back before turning his back on him, having every intention of tuning in his focus once again on Aerith. A hand grabbed his arm and he looked back at Kunsel, now standing right behind him. His friend wasn't looking at him though, he was looking at Aerith.

"You alright?" he asked her and she nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she confirmed.

"Good. I need Zack," Kunsel said firmly and Aerith nodded in understanding. Still, Zack stood his ground. Kunsel exhaled forcefully before saying to his friend seriously "We have to help, Zack." It took a brief moment more for Zack to agree to follow Kunsel back to the main doors leading outside. Unfortunately, his duties came above everything else. And indeed when Kunsel had said they "have" to help, he wasn't meaning it lightly. As SOLDIERs they did _have _to. They could be facing fines or loss of rank if they didn't.

Kunsel looked at Tseng then. "Shouldn't you be with the president right now?" he inquired rhetorically before tugging on Zack's arm, urging him to follow. Zack looked back at Aerith sadly. She smiled softly and waved to him, putting him at least a little more at ease.

000

Back at the Academy's infirmary, Cloud was roused from his sleep by a nurse. In his half-asleep state, he wasn't entirely sure what she said to him but it sounded like she was going to be moving him to someplace else. The thought made him happy. Up until that point, he'd been in the ICU. He assumed he hadn't been moved sooner because it was easier for the nurses to tend to him there. But it seemed strange that he was being moved at such a late hour of the night. He noticed as he was being wheeled down to his new room that a series of red bulbs were lit up and casting an eerie crimson light throughout the hall. It sparked his curiosity but he withheld his questions regarding the lights.

He was wheeled finally into a double room, occupied already by a guy he assumed to be a few years older than him and probably in the SOLDIER program. Perhaps a third class.

"What's going on?" his new roommate questioned the nurse as she was moving Cloud's bed into position in the room. "Why the red alert?" he asked. The red glow in the hall could clearly be seen from inside the room.

"There's been an incident," the nurse replied ambiguously.

"Where?" Cloud's new roommate pushed on.

"At the Christmas Banquet," the nurse admitted. Cloud looked back and forth between his roommate and the nurse, trying to understand.

"How bad?" the inquisitive young man to Cloud's left asked next, trying to get as much information out of the nurse as possible.

"There were casualties. The injured are being sent over and we've been told to make space for them in intensive care." She looked down at Cloud then. "I'm sure your friend is alright though," she said to his surprise.

"My friend?" he spoke in confusion.

"The first class who comes to visit you," she responded.

_Officer Fair,_ Cloud thought then, realizing who she was referring to. His stomach sank a little at the thought that the officer was being grouped in with possible casualties of whatever had happened. His confusion was only growing. He didn't understand what was going on.

"Try to get some rest, boys," the nurse urged then before departing, leaving them in silence. It didn't last long. His roommate spoke.

"What's your name?" he questioned. Cloud looked over at him, tearing his eyes off the red-tinted hallway.

"Cloud," he replied softly.

"I'm Sal," his roommate revealed.

"You're...an officer?" Cloud decided to question.

"Third class," Sal confirmed. Cloud's suspicions had been right on. All he could really think of in response was a nod.

"Hey, don't worry about your friend," Sal added then. "He's probably fine."

Cloud shook his head slowly. "How would the nurse even know my...my friend," he began awkwardly, hesitating on referring to the officer as his friend, "was at this banquet?" he asked.

"He may not have been but...he's a first class officer?" Sal inquired and Cloud confirmed with a nod. "Well most of them do attend the banquet every year, it's a pretty big deal."

Cloud was suddenly worried.

"What's the guy's name?" Sal asked then.

"Zack Fair," Cloud revealed, still feeling a little awkward about saying Zack's first name. He could tell Sal recognized the name.

"You're friends with Zack Fair?" he questioned sceptically.

"I dunno," Cloud said softly. "I wouldn't say 'friends.' You know him?"

"Not personally, but I think everyone knows who he is. He's in the upper crust," Sal spoke. Cloud realized his confusion must have been pretty apparent because Sal went on to further explain what he was meaning. "C'mon, mentored by one of the first SOLDIERs ever, Angeal Hewley. Probably the only officer the _very first_ SOLDIER, Sephiroth, has ever even remotely had something like a friendship with, outside of Angeal and Genesis Rhapsodos."

"I didn't know that," Cloud muttered to himself.

Sal went on. "He's practically been chosen to take Angeal's place at the top of the SOLDIER chain."

Cloud was at a loss for words. He hadn't known Zack to have such a reputation or such an incredible future. Or that he was basically friends with General Sephiroth. Now, more than ever, Cloud was wondering just why Zack even bothered to talk to him when he was in association directly with such an important person as the general. It made no sense. He was just some kid from Nibelheim. A small town nobody with big dreams and the stupid notion they may actually come true one day.

000

Together, along with several other SOLDIERs, Zack and Kunsel began assisting or dragging the injured off the stairs outside the hall and back into the building. They had managed to get most of the people inside by the time the police and paramedics showed up. They were approached by a paramedic as they were watching the people they'd just brought into the building being taken out again on stretchers.

"Are either of you injured?" the paramedic questioned. Zack shook his head just as Kunsel spoke.

"Yeah, I'm gonna need my shoulder looked at," Kunsel admitted. Zack looked at him in surprise and confusion. He watched as his friend pulled his jacket down on his left shoulder to show the paramedic. His shirt sleeve and part of the material on the left side of his chest was soaked through with blood. It had been hidden well by his black tuxedo jacket.

"Kunsel…" Zack began uneasily but stopped as the paramedic spoke.

"Bullet?" the man questioned.

Kunsel nodded. "Went straight through I think," he added.

"What the hell?" Zack blurted then. "Why didn't you say something?"

His friend shrugged. "We had a job to do. It's not a big deal."

"We're gonna have you get into one of the em-vees," the paramedic announced. Kunsel nodded before turning back to Zack.

"I'll see you back at headquarters," he called as he was heading away towards the EMVs lined up on the road.

Zack did nothing but stand there in the cold on the stairs for the first few minutes after Kunsel had left him. He felt oddly numb. There were nine bodies lying on the stairs covered in white sheets. He was still sitting out there on one of the top steps when someone sat down beside him. It was Aerith. He smiled at her tightly before facing forward again.

"Where'd Kunsel go?" she questioned after a moment.

"The infirmary," Zack replied tonelessly. When he noticed Aerith's concerned expression he added a reassuring "he's fine." There was silence between them a moment more before he let out what was on his mind. "I shouldn't have brought you here," he spoke dejectedly.

"Zack—" she began to argue.

"Something terrible could have happened," he interrupted her. "Something terrible _did _happen," he corrected himself.

"Zack, I'm fine, it's barely an injury," she refuted, shrugging her one arm as if she could shrug off what damage had been caused by the bullet that had grazed her.

"I should have been the one with you, not Tseng," Zack replied lowly.

"You were trying to protect the president, Zack, that's what you're supposed to do."

"No, it's not. I don't care about the president. I care about you," Zack protested. Instead of arguing, Aerith leaned into Zack closely, using his body heat to warm herself.

"I care about _you_, ya know," she said at last. "Not Tseng."

Zack looked down at her and she smiled. "I know," he replied definitively and she laughed at him. "I still don't like him hanging around you," Zack added.

"Are you really jealous of him?" Aerith questioned interestedly. Zack arched an eyebrow.

"No," he denied. "I just...don't trust him when it comes to you."

At that moment, Zack felt his phone vibrating against his chest. He reached into his pocket for it and flipped it open.

"Zack," he spoke into the phone, already guessing at what the call would be regarding. Aerith watched him as he listened to whoever spoke on the other end of the line. "Yeah," he said. "I'll be there," he added before flipping the phone closed. He didn't give Aerith time to make any inquiries.

"I have a debriefing in a half hour," he explained. "I better get you home."

"No," she stopped him. "Zack, that's way out of the way. You won't make it in time."

"Then I guess I'll be late."

Aerith didn't bother to further refuse his offer to bring her home first. She knew she wasn't going to win. Zack secured a rid for them in a cab. That was something Aerith did comment on though, particularly on how much the drive down to the slums was going to cost. When they'd reached her house, Zack walked her to her door, slowing to a stop just outside of it.

"Your mom's never gonna let me see you again when she finds out what happened," he said in a mixture of humour and genuine sadness as he took her hands in his.

"Don't worry about her," Aerith replied as she squeezed his hands grasping her own. "She really likes you," she added, hoping to get a smile out of him. She got one, albeit a weak one. "I think she'll be more upset that my dress got dirty."

"Oh yeah, I probably shouldn't be standing so close to you, don't think it would help you any there," Zack commented, looking down at himself. There was a fair amount of blood and dirt on his suit, which was decidedly ruined. Aerith responded by moving closer to him. She reached up and placed her hands on the sides of his face.

"Try not to worry so much," she suggested softly. "I don't want to see you losing your hair before you turn twenty-five," she added jokingly.

He laughed in response. Something about her words was very reassuring. Perhaps it was the prospect that their relationship would continue that far into the future. "Would you still date me?" he questioned lightly.

"Ummm..." she trailed off as she pretended to be thinking hard. Zack faked a pout, beginning to turn away. "Wait!" she said fast, stopping him and giggling. She pulled him toward her again and stood on her toes to reach his lips with her own. He gave in, placing one hand on the back of her head and the other on her lower back. After a moment, they parted. Aerith smiled sweetly before saying so innocently "You could always wear a hat." She reached for the knob on her front door then as Zack groaned in hyperbolic measure. "Bye," she said brightly before pushing the door open ahead of her and stepping inside.

Zack shook his head, a half smile still on his face as he headed back toward the cab, glancing back once over his shoulder before getting in the car and directing the driver back to the headquarters building.

000

By the time Zack made it back to Shinra HQ, he was exceptionally late. He didn't think it would matter if he stepped in while the debriefing was already underway, or if he went at all for that matter. So, he was certainly shocked to find out he was being waited on. As he entered the foyer of the building, he was nearly pounced on by two third class officers.

"Sir!" they blurted in unison.

"Heyyy, always nice to have a welcome party when I come in the door," Zack said in mock enthusiasm.

"They're all waiting on you, sir," the one third class said. He and the other officer looked anxious.

"Waiting on me?" Zack repeated in confusion. "What the hell for?" He picked up his pace, heading for the elevator.

He certainly felt like an idiot as he approached the closed double doors leading to largest board room in the building. A good indication there was a fair number of people waiting on him. He made a slight effort to straighten his jacket and make sure his shirt was tucked in. Not that it mattered much. He looked like hell. One of the officers standing outside the board room nodded at him and opened the one door. He stepped inside and found about forty heads turning his way.

"Nice of you to join us, Zack," Executive Manager Lazard spoke from his chair at the far end of the long table in the centre of the room. Zack hoped his face wasn't going as red as he thought it was. He took in a deep breath slowly as he headed to the only empty seat at the table. Not only were other first class officers and Turks (Tseng being one of them) present, but some of the company's senior associates, two members of the board of directors, and the vice president himself, Rufus Shinra, were also at the table.

"Vice President, sir," Zack greeted as he bowed slightly. It was generally perceived by most that Rufus was far too young to be in such an important position. But nevertheless, he was the vice president. Rufus barely nodded in return. The looks Zack was receiving around the table were less than happy. "Sorry for my lateness," he said as he sat down. He made a point of not making eye contact with Tseng, though he could sense the man's gaze on him.

"Now that everyone is here..." Lazard spoke. "We can get started." Zack lowered his head slightly. "Officer Fair," the executive manager drew his attention, "As the others here have already been told, the president is unharmed and safe."

"Good, uh, gre—" Zack began but broke off as he cleared his throat a little. "Great. That's great." He really didn't particularly care. He was trained to act like he cared. That was it.

"As of now, we are treating this incident as an assassination attempt on the president," Lazard went on. "We are unsure at this point which terrorist group the shooters are affiliated with but our intel is working on it. Zack." Zack looked up at him fast. "You showed some excellent initiative tonight," the man began to Zack's surprise. Was he really about to be praised? "Your actions probably—"

"Excuse me, Lazard," Rufus interrupted. All eyes turned his way, including Zack's. The VP was looking right at him. "We are well aware of the role you played tonight in helping to minimize a potential disaster, Officer Fair," the vice president addressed Zack.

Zack couldn't help his eyes from narrowing slightly. "_Potential_ disaster?" he repeated Rufus' words. He had to remind himself who he was faced with or else the words that would have followed would have been something along the lines of 'What part of what happened _wasn't_ a fucking disaster?'

"What we are really interested in is your description of the man you so...gracefully tackled to the street and...did someone say something about a cell phone?" he asked as he looked around the table.

There was a heavy momentary silence before Zack reached into one of his pockets for the cell he'd been holding onto. He placed it on the table before sliding it across to the vice president, who took it in his hand.

"Hopefully this proves to be a key piece of evidence in the mission to track down these terrorists," Rufus commented as he passed the phone off to Tseng, sitting next to him. When the VP said nothing else Lazard continued.

"When the terrorists _are _found, we would like you to lead the take-down mission," the executive manager announced. Zack nearly choked on an inhale.

"Me, sir?" he managed a response. After months of being missionless, to say he was a little surprised would be an understatement.

"Well you were set to be placed back on the mission list in a few weeks so it's perfect timing really."

"Thank you, sir," Zack managed to get out though he was still shocked.

Rufus rose from his chair then and all others in the room followed suit. "I'll leave you to your business now, Lazard, I trust you'll be in contact with Tseng regarding this mission," the vice president spoke.

"Of course," Lazard agreed with a nod. Rufus left the room with the few Turks who had been present. When they'd left, Zack and the others left in the room sat down once again. "Get comfortable gentlemen. We have several things to discuss," Lazard spoke then, drawing a few audible groans from some of the officers.

000

It was just after three in the morning when the debriefing was declared over and the room cleared out. Zack was exhausted but he couldn't get Kunsel off his mind. He wanted to make sure his friend had been taken care of.

Not only was the Shinra HQ building under lockdown but so were the Academy and the infirmary. It certainly slowed him down moving from one place to another when he had to present his ID every time he walked out one door and in through another. He was sent down to the ICU when he'd made it into the infirmary. All the injured were being kept there regardless of how severe their injury. It was the only way to keep track of everyone.

No one seemed to notice when Zack wandered into the ICU. There was a lot going on. More of a commotion than Zack had been expecting. Most of the people who'd been wounded were civilians. The preliminary numbers had been read during the meeting. Eleven killed. Nine at the banquet hall and another two afterwards. Twenty-seven others had been wounded or otherwise injured when the crowd of people had stampeded back towards the hall while being fired upon. One of the dead was a second class officer. Only another three of those killed were employed directly under Shinra. Of those injured however, about half had been SOLDIERs. Despite that, it would seem the real casualties were those of the 'innocent.' If the terrorists had hoped to put a dent in the corporation they'd failed. They'd made waves, yes. But the consequences they'd be facing when they were caught would hardly seem worth it.

Zack had expected to find Kunsel resting in one of the beds in the ICU but he wasn't. He found his friend sitting in one of many chairs lined up along one wall, filled with people still waiting to be aided. Likewise, Kunsel's gunshot wound hadn't been dealt with though he had been given a padding of gauze to press against it and keep the bleeding at bay.

"You're still waiting?!" Zack spoke in surprise when he'd come across his friend. Kunsel looked up at him tiredly.

"Yeah," he said with a sigh. "And I think I'm gonna pass out before they get around to me."

Zack looked upon him sympathetically. "Well...maybe I can talk to someone..." he suggested as he craned his head to look for a doctor he could confront.

"No, Zack, forget it," Kunsel replied. "There're people here who need more help than I do."

Sighing, Zack placed his hands in his pockets.

"Was there a debriefing?" Kunsel asked then, switching topics.

"Yeah," Zack answered with a nod. "Took forever."

"So then I'm guessing they're getting together a team to head up a take-down?" Kunsel said next.

"Pretty much" Zack confirmed.

"Who's heading it up?" his friend inquired.

"Uh...me, actually," Zack said a little awkwardly.

Kunsel's mouth fell open slightly. "Seriously?" he questioned.

"Yeah. I-I know, it's crazy. It should be someone else—" Zack began uneasily.

"No," Kunsel interrupted him. "It's great, Zack. Really, it's awesome. You deserve it. You're gonna do a good job."

Zack smiled, scratching the back of his head a little. "Thanks," he said softly.

"You should go get some sleep, man," Kunsel said then. "If I could I would."

"Maybe...I could stay here though. Keep you company..." Zack trailed off as he looked around the room.

"Looking for someone?" Kunsel questioned, knowing very well that he was looking for Cloud.

Zack turned his eyes back Kunsel's way. "No," he denied fast.

"Get out of here, Zack," his friend ordered. Zack was about to protest but he stopped him. "Just go. I'll see you later."

"Alright," Zack said in not entirely unwelcome defeat. He would have stayed with Kunsel happily but, at the same time, he also needed to get up to his room before he passed out on the floor. There was just one more thing he wanted to do first. He made his way back to the reception area to inquire as to the location of a particular cadet.

When he entered the room Cloud had been moved to, he hadn't expected the cadet to be awake, though he was. Awake and looking through a magazine by the dim light coming in through the hall. He noticed Zack immediately as his form blocked out the light when he was coming through the door.

"Sir!" Cloud spoke in quiet surprise as he looked upon the weary officer. He looked dishevelled, his tux wrinkled and smeared with dried blood in several places. "Are you...okay?" Cloud asked uneasily, as he eyed the blood.

"Oh," Zack spoke in realization as he glanced down at himself. "Yeah," he said with a nod before sitting down in the chair near the bed. "It's not mine," he explained. "Not actually sure whose it is, I think there's a bit of a mixture here," he added with a grim smile, having made a weak attempt at joking a little.

Cloud glanced over at his sleeping roommate and set his magazine down. "So you _were _at that banquet," he said in a slightly hushed voice, turning back to Zack.

"Yeah, how'd you know about the banquet?" Zack asked a little curiously.

"One of the nurses said something," Cloud revealed. "What happened?"

Zack released a long exhale before replying. "Some members of a terrorist group open-fired on us outside the hall."

Cloud was surprised, even though he'd been told already something terrible had happened. It still shocked him to hear it.

"That's horrible," he stated. "It's Christmas." Zack stared back at him. "Nuh-not that it wouldn't be horrible any other day," Cloud corrected himself. "It's just, you know..."

Zack lowered his eyes. "Yeah, no, I know what you mean," he agreed.

There was a bit of silence then before Cloud spoke.

"I'm glad you're okay, sir."

Zack looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Were you worried?" he asked with a half smile tugging at his mouth. He knew the statement would embarrass the cadet.

Cloud smiled and averted his eyes. The things that Sal had told him earlier about Zack were swimming around at the forefront of his mind.

"Sir," he began uneasily, avoiding having to answer Zack's question. "Why do you hang around me? Why do you even talk to me?"

The questions seemed to throw Zack off momentarily but he recovered with an answer. "I dunno," he said with a shrug. "I guess I just like you." He rose from his chair then, turning for the door.

"Sir," Cloud called after him, halting him. "Do you think...you would be able to tell me about General Sephiroth sometime?" Before Zack could answer he went on. "I know that's kind of a weird question to ask. He's just...I've looked up to him since I can remember..."

_Me too_, Zack thought to himself sadly.

"I just thought...since you know him..." Cloud continued uncomfortably.

"Yeah," Zack replied finally. "Uh, maybe. Someday. Someday day when I can talk about him without wishing I could have the chance to kick his ass."

He could tell that comment was a confusing one for Cloud but he wasn't about to try and explain it. Not now anyway.

"I'll see ya later, buddy," he said instead, giving a little wave as he headed for the door.


	21. Chapter 20

_Holy hell, my friends. Holy hell. So, I finally got some holidays and was all excited thinking I was finally going to be able to get a bunch of chapters out for this story and Reclamation's but pretty much I've been working on this chapter the entire time. And it's been the bane of my existence. Seriously. First, it's long. About 21 pages. Which is because it focuses mainly on Zack and I wanted to have the next one turned back to Cloud again. But then the chapter just kept getting longer and longer. And honestly, I'm so tired of looking at it lol. I'm sorry if there are like a million consistency errors. I tried to edit it but I don't know that I got everything. At some point, this chapter's probably going to be redone with more detail but for know it'll do. Hopefully, it's still a good read. Also, if you read Reclamation you already heard this once from me, but since it's taking me a hundred+ years to chapters out (and normally I would send replies to your reviews out right before updates), I'm going to start replying to your reviews within the first few days of you sending them out. Alright, I think that's all from me. Take care guys. Sorry for the long delay in the update. _

_Cheers. _

_Disclaime: no own FFVII. _

Chapter 20

It was less than a week before the rebel group that attacked the banquet hall were named and located. Their organization was one not previously known to be in Midgar. It originated in Junon. _Cutter's Resistance_. Apparently named after the founder Oz Cutter. Members of the organization were wanted for crimes in both Junon and Midgar. It was Tuesday afternoon when Zack was called down to Lazard's office. He was hanging out with Cloud at the time he received the call.

000

Zack studied Cloud's expression closely, narrowing his eyes as he tried to read the cadet's expression. _Damn, the kid is too good with keeping a straight face_, he thought to himself. It made things all the more difficult. He took a breath and let it out slow before asking firmly "Do you have any _fours_?"

The cadet smirked. "_Go Fish_," he replied while shaking his head.

Zack released a scoff. "What?!" was his bursting reply. "You have to!" He slammed his cards down and reached for Cloud's. The cadet didn't try to stop him. "Ah ha!" Zack spouted though his face fell when he saw the cards, clearly noticing Cloud hadn't been lying about not having a four.

"We're never gonna finish a game if you keep doing that," Cloud pointed out. It hadn't been the first time Zack had stolen his cards away from him like that.

Zack tossed the cards back at him. "I really need to teach you some real games," he said as he sat back in the chair next to Cloud's bed. He placed his hands behind his head and looked out the window across the room as Cloud was gathering up the cards. "When'd your roommate check out?" he questioned without taking his eyes off the window.

"Yesterday," Cloud replied. It had been a few days since the shooting at the banquet hall. Zack nodded somewhat absent-mindedly. Cloud had noticed Zack seemed a little distracted since the banquet. He'd thought about questioning it before but then just didn't. Again he thought of questioning it now and probably would have had Zack's phone not rang right then. Zack reached into his pocket for it fast, as though he'd been expecting the call.

"Zack," he greeted.

"Zack, it's Lazard," the executive manager's voice replied. "I need to see you up here right away," he said with no break for Zack to say anything in between.

"Yes, sir," he responded, shutting his phone when he heard the click of the disconnection from Lazard's end. He hoped he was being called up to the manager's office regarding the take-down mission he was supposed to be leading in the near future. He was excited beyond words. He couldn't exactly hide it either as he stood up fast and Cloud looked at him with a bit of a wondering gaze.

"Gotta head out, buddy," he announced as he headed for the door. "I'll catch up with you later!" he added as he passed through the doorway and disappeared into the hall.

"Bye," Cloud said quietly to the vacant space beside him before setting the cards in his hand on the table next to him.

Almost immediately after Zack stepped out the door someone else was entering. At first, Cloud thought Zack had returned but it was a nurse who entered.

"Good news, Cloud," she spoke cheerily. "You're going to be discharged tomorrow morning," she announced.

For a moment all he could do was stare at her. "Oh..." he managed to get out.

"Great, huh?" she asked, though clearly it was meant to be rhetorical as she turned and left almost as suddenly as she'd come.

"Yeah..." he said when he was alone again. "Great."

He just needed to let the thought sink in.

000

When Zack entered the manager's office, Lazard was ready with quite a large folder to share with him.

"Zack," the manager greeted as he approached, "Thank you for coming promptly."

"No problem at all," Zack replied happily, thinking of how fast he'd raced from the infirmary and practically sprinted to the elevators.

Lazard motioned for him to sit down and he complied. "I believe we're ready to proceed with the take-down operation of the terrorist group responsible for the recent attack. It's pertinent to act immediately, before they can attempt another assault on the president or executive members of Shinra."

"Yes, sir," Zack agreed with a firm nod.

"Your assigned take-down mission will commence tomorrow evening at twenty-three hundred. We believe that's when the group typically convenes," the manager went on. "You need to be familiar with all the information in this folder by the time you meet with your mission team tomorrow morning," he added as he slid the folder across the table toward Zack.

"Absolutely," Zack spoke confidently, though the size of the folder was slightly intimidating.

"This is your team list." Lazard pushed a piece of paper over to him. Zack scanned over it. There were a few names he recognized, but only a few. It had been awhile since he'd been on a mission and the SOLDIERs all listed were either second or third class. That was standard procedure. Usually only one or two first class officers led a mission in order to prevent conflict. Of course, the second reason would be that there were so few first classes, it was impractical to put more than one on most missions, in the case that they should both be killed. Better it just be one. Less of a loss to the company.

His team for this mission consisted of nine officers. Four second class officers and five third classes.

"This will be a first _real_ mission for two of the third class officers on the team," Lazard revealed then. "Officers Kingsley and Platt. I want them kept on perimeter if possible. They're obviously new to this and I don't want to see them in the direct line of fire. This is supposed to be a learning experience for them. To help them get their feet wet. Understood?"

"Yes, sir, I'll make sure they're looked after," Zack assured him.

"Good," the manager said as he leaned back in his chair slightly. "How your team proceeds in this mission is up to you but everything you need to take into consideration is outlined in the file. I want an outline of your planned procedures tomorrow morning before you meet with your team. They'll be waiting for you in Board Six at oh-eight-hundred. Questions?"

Zack looked up at him. He smiled and cleared his throat gently. "Uh, I don't think so," he replied. Lazard smiled himself then.

"Nervous?" he asked.

"What? Me?" Zack returned, scoffing lightly. Actually, he _was_ nervous. It was a good nervous but he was still nervous.

"It's alright to be nervous, Zack," the manager stated. "I have every confidence in your abilities to see this mission through."

"Thank you, sir," Zack replied gratefully. Lazard gave a slight nod.

"Well that's all from me for today. You have a fair amount of information to go over and some formulations to pull together. Better get to it," the man suggested.

"Yes, sir," Zack agreed. He rose from his chair then and reached for the folder on the table in front of him. Clasping it tightly in his hands, he bid Lazard a farewell and left his office, headed for his room.

By dinner time, Zack felt like his eyes were going to fall out of their sockets and his brain melt in to mush. He had been trying hard to get every little detail to sink into his mind. He wanted to be able to remember everything. But there was _so _much to know. The terrorist organization had been in operation for a lot longer than he would have imagined. Before the construction of the city. It was suspected that about a year earlier the organization had sent a group in to Midgar.

The mission wasn't going to be as simple as he first imagined. The leaders of the Midgar group were wanted by the local authorities as well and wished for them to be captured alive so that they could be put on trial for crimes against the public. And outside of the obvious challenges in completing a mission, he had a team to worry about. He imagined that his first mission since being put on the 'no-go' list would be one in which he was a member of a team. Not its leader. It was a good feeling, but a jarring one at the same time.

His phone rang then and he struggled to reach for it from where he was seated at his desk. He'd tossed it on the bed earlier. He gave up on trying to reach it after a moment and pulled himself off his chair, grabbing the phone and then dropping down onto his back on the mattress.

"Zack," he finally answered.

"Guess who," a familiar female voice said. Aerith. He smiled.

"Uhhh...Anita right?" he questioned playfully. "Or is it Alicia?" Aerith laughed in response.

"Zaaack," she groaned lightly.

"Zack?" he asked. "No, I think I'd know if I called myself," he added jokingly.

"You know who it is."

"Of course I do," he agreed.

"What are you doing for dinner?" she asked.

"As of now? Studying. Lazard announced to me this afternoon that the take-down mission I'm leading is happening tomorrow night," he revealed.

"Really?"

"Really," he confirmed.

"Zack, come have dinner with me," she ordered then.

"Or what?" he asked with a smile.

"Or I won't be very pleased with you, Zackary Fair," she said with a suppressed chuckle. Zack rolled his eyes at her using his full first name. "Stop playing hard to get," she added. He laughed then.

"Okay. I'll come down there. But that doesn't mean I'll like it," he teased.

"Oh, you'll like it," she said, almost in mock warning.

"Well I better."

"See you in a bit," she spoke happily before hanging up.

Zack pulled himself off his bed to get himself cleaned up a little before his trip down to the slums. He knew he probably should stay and keep working on his action plan for the next day but he also needed a break. And he knew it was important to Aerith that they see each other before his mission, on the chance something happened. It wasn't like something horrible hadn't happened on one of the last missions he'd been on. The second-last technically. He thought back on it as he was making his way down to the church.

On that mission, he had been ordered to Modeoheim after Genesis. There he'd run into Angeal. He was never supposed to be the one to put an end to Angeal's life but inevitably he had no choice. It had taken him awhile to accept that fact. He sat with Angeal's body, long after his mentor had taken his last breath. It was hours before Shinra forces came upon his location. He'd been taken back to the headquarters in Midgar where he'd been questioned about the events leading up to Angeal's assassination and Genesis's apparent suicide. Interrogated was more like it. The questioning went on for about three hours, until General Sephiroth had demanded the interrogation end. When he thought back on it now, it was probably the fact that he seemed so indifferent to Angeal's death at first that had made the interrogation so long. For the first few days he'd felt almost nothing. If anything, he was angry. Impersonal.

Aerith had noticed the change in him more than anyone. Yet, she'd been understanding and didn't let on how much it bothered or worried her. He'd immediately requested he be sent on a mission and barely a month later he was sent out to Wutai to help neutralize a small rebel movement. That's when he'd proven himself unready to be back on the mission list. He'd done a poor job at handling the rebels to say the least. And he certainly wasn't proud of some of his actions he'd made while there. After that, he'd been blacklisted. What was worse, he was put on temporary suspension so he wasn't even allowed to work for several weeks. All the emotions, all the things he should have felt before, they spilled out then. And Aerith had been there to pick up the pieces and put them back together.

Given all that had happened barely a year ago, the next day's mission was going to be a big deal for a lot of people, including himself and Aerith.

The church was fully aglow with candles when he'd reached it. Aerith had been working on getting a fire started in the hearth near the back. He approached quietly with intentions of surprising her. His plans were thwarted as always.

"You can't sneak up on me, Mr. Fair," she said before turning back with a sly smile.

"Well I can try, can't I?" he countered, crouching down and giving her a quick kiss.

"I can't get it going," she said with a slight pout, referring to the fire.

"Sure you can," he argued. "You just like to see _me _do it."

Her smile was a confirmation. "Gimme that," he said with a sigh, reaching for the paper she had in her hands. He began crumpling it as she sat back on the blanket by the hearth. He glanced back at her and shook his head.

"What?" she questioned innocently. "I'm not supposed to like watching you do things like start fires?"

"What else do you like to watch me do?" he asked lightly. He looked back again when she didn't say anything.

"I'm not even answering that," she said with a smile and shake of her head.

When the fire was going, Zack joined her on the blanket and looked down at the covered basket that was next to her.

"So, what's for dinner?" he inquired.

"You wanna know?"

"Uh...yeah," he answered with a bit of a laugh. He watched as she pulled the cover off the basket. He peered in. "Take-out?" He looked up at her with a bit of a surprised look.

"Well I was going to make something but then you said you were going on that mission and I know you're busy so I wanted to get something quick so that I could spend more time with you and..." She paused her rant. "Is it okay?"

"Yes!" he laughed, "It's good. I wouldn't have cared if the thing was empty as long as I'm here." He thought about it then. "Though...I'd be pretty hungry. Would probably have to send you out for something."

Aerith scoffed and pushed him lightly.

"Hey! That's not nice!" he said as he grabbed onto her. "You're gonna get it now!" He began to tickle her.

"Zack!" she cried out. "St-stop!" she fought to speak through laughs. She managed to get him back, tickling him as well. She got him immobilized and he barely managed to call out for a truce.

They lay still then as they were taking deep breaths and still giggling lightly. Aerith rested her arms on his chest and looked at him. She grew serious then.

"You'll be careful tomorrow, right?" she asked softly.

"Of course," he confirmed, nodding his head slightly. It didn't seem to put her anymore at ease. "It's gonna go great. Easy. Over in an hour."

She nodded. "I guess...I've just gotten so used to knowing you're safe at the Academy."

He understood the feeling. "You know that I need to do this right? That this is what I'm meant to do?" he asked.

"Yes," she agreed. She placed her head on his chest then, resting her left cheek against it while she wrapped her arms around his torso. "I just don't want anything to happen to you," she added, barely above a whisper.

He wrapped his own arms around her tiny frame and held her tightly. "Nothing's gonna happen," he told her. He knew he couldn't be sure of such a thing but still he said surely "I promise."

000

At 10 am on Wednesday morning, Cloud was released from the infirmary and sent back to the dorm, which he entered for the first time in nearly three weeks. The room was basically empty. Only one other person was in the room. As he approached his bunk, he could see Johnny lying on his own bunk with one hand behind his head and the other holding a novel. He glanced at Cloud when he'd reached his bunk.

"Hey," Johnny greeted casually.

"Hey," Cloud replied. The word seemed to come out of him more like a grunt than an actual word. "You stayed here for the holidays," he commented.

"Clearly," Johnny responded. He turned his eyes on Cloud again. "You?" he asked with faint smirk.

"Clearly," Cloud repeated Johnny's reply with his own weak smile.

"You still wired?" Johnny asked then. Cloud looked back at him in slight confusion, not really understanding. "Your mouth," the cadet clarified. Cloud made a sound of understanding then before shaking his head.

"Screwed actually," he said in mild amusement.

Johnny smirked. "Oh really. How much longer?" he inquired next.

"They didn't give me an exact date. I go back in to have it looked at in two weeks," Cloud answered as he sat down on his bunk slowly, holding his left side in his hand. He winced as he felt the pain biting at his ribs.

"That blows," Johnny commented. Cloud only nodded once again as he sat on his mattress trying to figure out what to do with himself. He felt a little lost after having spent so much time in the infirmary. "Heard one of the guys who messed you up got kicked out. He's not being charged though, on account of you not coming forward to formally accuse him."

Cloud exhaled through his nose before attempting to answer. "It's not that I don't want to," he defended. "It's just that…" he trailed off as he rethought his explanation. "Do you know what happens if you formally accuse another cadet of a criminal act?" he asked. Johnny nodded firmly. Of course, there was no reason to doubt Johnny knew. He seemed to know most of the procedures and protocol by heart, though he chose not to adhere to all of them. "Well," Cloud continued. "Enrollment's more important to me than seeing the guy charged."

"You really care that much about it?" Johnny asked.

"Yes," Cloud replied definitively. "I do." He watched Johnny shake his head. "I know it's hard to understand—" he began but Johnny interjected.

"It's not," he stated, his eyes on his book.

Cloud looked at him a few moments more before it became clear Johnny had continued on with his book.

000

At the same time Cloud was moving back into the dorm, Zack was preparing himself to meet with his team. He'd been in the office going over the layout of his action plan, wondering if he'd missed anything. He knew the team would likely be down in the boardroom, waiting for him. If he thought he was nervous the day before, it was nothing compared to now. He needed to get this right. To do this right. And he would. He was going to make up for the lost time. Gathering the files he'd prepared for the team, he headed down to the boardroom, taking a deep breath before entering. All heads in the room turned his way. Most of his team was there already. One person was missing.

"Hey everyone," Zack greeted as he came to a stop at the end of the table. It felt a little awkward to him, standing there. "Guess we might as well get the obligatory roll call out of the way," he stated as he held up the list of team names in front of him. He called out each one, checking them off. He discovered then that it was one of the new third classes missing. Officer Kingsley. Zack had already handed out the overviews and was glancing at his watch when the door to the room opened and a young officer entered, presumably Officer Kingsley. "Kingsley?" Zack questioned and the officer nodded.

"Yes, sir," the officer said with a firm nod as he stood straight with his hands behind him. "I'm very sorry for being late, sir. It won't happen again."

"It's fine," Zack said as he gestured for the SOLDIER to take a seat. "Just make sure you're on time tonight," he added.

"Yes, sir, I will be," Kingsley assured him. Zack handed him his outline as he sat down.

"Alright," Zack said then. "We can get started. My name's Zack and it's cool if you all just call me Zack. Actually, I'd prefer it," he claimed with a bit of a laugh. "We've got an interesting night ahead of us. If you'll take a look at the blueprints in your overview, you'll see that we're going to be infiltrating a building that is two thirds underground. Which essentially sucks. Normally, we'd go in and detonate some explosives as a means of disablement, but in this case we won't be detonating anything from inside ourselves. Unless we want to blow ourselves up with the building. We will, however, be going in and wiring the place for detonation from outside, which will be done following the completion of our primary objective."

Zack took an overhead from the folder in front of him and placed it on the projector on the table. He flicked it on and three images were cast on the screen on the one wall. The images were of three men.

"Shinra wishes us to capture as many of the terrorists as possible alive," Zack went on to explain. "But our primary objective is to take these three men into custody. If you can only take three of the terrorists alive, it better be these three. You have these pictures in the folders I've given each of you. Make yourselves familiar with them. These are the most recent photos that were available to us but that's not to say they won't have changed their appearances since the photos were taken."

He removed the transparency sheet to place another on the projector. A copy of the floor plan of the compound they were infiltrating.

"The compound is located in the slums under Sector 3. We'll be entering the ground level from two sides and working our way down to the floors below. We aren't entirely sure of what we're going to run into down there but it's likely the terrorists will be armed and that they aren't going to give up willingly. We'll be meeting in the deployment hanger at nine-thirty. From there we'll go over to the sector where we'll prepare for infiltration at a nearby storage facility. All the details you will need to know are in your files. Make sure you read through everything thoroughly before tonight. If you have any questions ahead of time you can reach me at the number provided in your file. Any questions right now?"

One of the men raised their hand.

"Ellis," Zack acknowledged him.

"You gonna take us all out for a beer when we get this thing done?" he asked. Some of the others chuckled.

"Was there any doubt?" Zack replied. He received several elated responses. Naturally.

The whole team arrived at the deployment hanger on time. The excitement among them was obvious. Zack was excited as well. Any nervousness he'd felt before was gone. He knew the plan and was confident the mission would be completed successfully and relatively easily. As they were readying to leave, a first class officer entered the hanger and approached. Zack hadn't realized he was there until one of the third class officers pointed him out.

Zack turned and set eyes upon a familiar face. It was an officer he'd been on missions with before, though usually he was the one leading. The man's name was Darell "Doke" Sanford. He had no idea where the nickname came from. He doubted Doke even knew. Zack rolled his eyes when he faced him, making a sound of exaggerated annoyance.

"I knew it!" he declared. "I knew it was too good to be true. Leading my own team."

"No, hey!" Doke said through a grin. "I was sent to help you out. I'm following your command. Whatever you say goes," he explained.

"Oh, is that it?" Zack asked as he bumped fists with the first class. "You sure you can handle that?"

"Hell yes. I'm looking forward to not having command."

"Yeah, okay," Zack said sarcastically. "Let's get this show on the road," he suggested, getting the team moving toward their transportation vehicles.

The team was fairly rowdy on the way down to the slums but quieted down when they'd reached the storage facility where they had gathered to go over what would be expected of them and how they would close in on the facility.

"Grant, Platt and Kingsley, you're on perimeter, you know what you're doing?" Zack questioned.

"Yes, sir," the three replied.

"Sidley, Miso, and Burke, you're taking the east entrance, Ellis, Lee, and I are on north entrance. Doke is operational control. That means he'll be outside and whenever you reach a checkpoint or complete an objective you call it in to him. Checkpoints are what?"

"Ground entrances and stairwells," Burke answered.

"That's right, and you call in checkpoints on the way in _and _out. If for whatever reason you can't get a hold of me on the communications frequency, or if anything else should happen—you know what I mean," he said a little awkwardly. A few of the guys nodded. "Doke is in command. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," the collective spoke back.

"Alright. Before we head out, make sure your ear pieces are working. And take your time tonight. Better we do this right than fast," Zack advised.

Once they'd checked their equipment they headed out to the compound. The team stayed quiet as they approached the terrorist compound. There were no vehicles parked outside the building and the ground level windows were covered by something from the inside so it was difficult to tell if there were lights on inside. Grant, Platt, and Kingsley broke away from the group to take up positions on the perimeter. Doke stayed back as Zack and the rest of the team advanced on the building. They moved like ghosts toward their first checkpoints, Zack waving Sidley, Miso, and Burke off toward the other side of the building.

Standing outside a wooden door on the north side of the building, Zack called in to Doke first to let him now they were in position. Then he made an announcement to all. "This is Zack," he said in a low tone. "Keep it sharp in there, guys. Burke, you guys ready out there?"

"Yes, sir," Burke responded.

Zack nodded to himself. "Let's go!" he called out before kicking the door down and bursting into the ground level of the compound. Across the building, Sidley, Miso and Burke kicked their way into the east entrance. Seven or eight of the terrorists were on the ground level, two of which were near a stairwell. The ground floor was basically empty. The terrorists seemed surprised but not enough so that they weren't reaching for their automatic weapons right away. The two by the stairwell took off downstairs while the others were ready to open fire. The mission had begun.

Outside the building, Doke and the other officers on perimeter could hear the sounds of weapon fire. Zack's voice came on the comm frequency telling them to watch for runners from the building. In less than a minute the sounds of gunfire had ended. Part of the team was making their way down to the first underground level. The stairway was narrow, allowing only one person to descend at a time.

Things grew more complicated the moment they got downstairs. It became clear quite quickly that there were people living down there. Not just men and women but children as well. What made it that much more complicated was the fact that the women and children were reacting just as aggressively as the men. Not one of the team wanted to hurt a woman or a child.

It was also down on the first underground level that the first explosive was set off by one of the terrorists. It was only a smoke bomb but it had thrown another obstacle into the mix. Flash bombs were also used by the terrorists to try and deter the team. Fortunately, they had nowhere to go. Upstairs, two members of the team were waiting to take them down.

Their primary targets were down on the second underground level. And they weren't easily rounded up. One of the team was shot before the targets were taken into custody. The injury wasn't too bad. The SOLDIER had taken the bullet to his arm.

All in all, the building was nearly cleared out in about an hour. The team was almost ready to celebrate. Almost.

At the north side of the building, Kingsley noticed a man running from the building. He went after him quickly, tackling him down before he'd gotten very far. Just as he'd gotten the man pinned down and was reaching for some zip ties to secure the man's wrists together, the man began to laugh.

"What's so fucking funny?" Kingsley didn't hesitate to ask.

"You Shinra bastards can't win," the man answered.

"Yeah, sure. That's what you think," Kingsley replied as he was pulling a zip tie tight around his wrists.

"Hope you said goodbye to your buddies before they came parading into our building," the terrorist spoke ominously.

Kingsley pressed his knee down into the man's back. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"Oh, you'll be hearing it soon," the man laughed.

"Hey! Shut the hell up!" Kingsley ordered but the terrorist didn't comply. "Shut up!" he demanded once more before knocking the man unconscious. _Hearing it soon?_ He thought about the man's words. Could he mean...an explosion?

He attempted then to get in touch with Zack or any of the others down in the building. No one was answering. His comm must have malfunctioned. "Shit!" he exclaimed as he gave up on trying to get through. He made sure the terrorist's ankles were secured together to keep him from running off if he regained consciousness, and then went for the building quickly.

He raced down to the second underground level where the last members of the team who hadn't exited yet were finishing up their sweep of the floor. He spotted Zack and the others near the end of a long hall. Zack was giving them some instructions.

"You guys can start heading back up. I'm gonna do a check of these last rooms," he was telling them. Kingsley had to push past them as they were passing him in the narrow hall. One of them inquired as to why he was down there. Zack noticed him then and approached him. "Kingsley, what are you doing?" Zack inquired. "I'm pretty sure I have you on perimeter."

Kingsley began to try and explain. "Sir, I'm sorry, I tried to get through on the comm. There was a terrorist outside. He mentioned something about—"

"Hang on," Zack interrupted him, holding a hand up. He put his other hand to his communicator. "Yeah," he said. "They're on their way up...There's two rooms left...The place is cleared. And be advised that Kingsley's down here...Roger." He turned back toward a room he'd been about to enter when Kingsley had showed up.

"Sir," Kingsley tried to get his attention again.

"Do me a favour and take a look in that last room," Zack called to him as he disappeared to the left.

Kingsley looked at the door that was across from the one Zack had just gone into, a few metres further down the hall. He drew his sword and placed his hand on the doorknob. He turned it slowly and pushed it open just a crack before easing it open gently. It was quiet. He couldn't see much in there. The open door blocked some of what was to the right. What he could see was a small table and a chair. He stepped into the room, past the open door. Looking to his right he saw a boy standing near the wall, facing it. He was about to say something to the boy when he turned and revealed to Kingsley that he was wearing a vest packed with explosives and a trigger was in his hand. Kingsley's stomach plummeted and all he could do was stare.

"You find something?" Zack called out from the hall. A moment later he entered the room Kingsley had just a minute before. "What's the matter..." he began to question, seeing how pale Kingsley seemed but he realized immediately what the matter was. "Oh," he barely breathed as he looked on the boy ahead of them. He couldn't have been older than ten.

"Sir. What do we do?" Kingsley questioned, his arms shaking as he held his sword pointed ahead of him.

"Just...be cool," Zack ordered as he lowered his own sword slightly. He kept his eyes on the boy in front of them. "Hey there, buddy," he said softly. "We aren't gonna hurt you," he assured him. He took a step forward and the boy's thumb slid over the trigger button.

"Sir!" Kingsley called out.

"Whoa!" Zack exclaimed loudly, halting once again and holding a hand out ahead of him. "Take it easy, kiddo!" he spoke to the boy. "Look, we're not the bad guys, alright?" he said in a softer voice once again. "I just wanna talk to you, okay?"

There was no clear protocol when dealing with a suicide bomber. Things became even less clear when it was a child. They were sometimes harder to reason with.

"I'll make you a deal, alright? I'll put down my sword if you take your thumb off that button, okay?" he offered. The boy made no indication he would comply. "Look, I'll put my sword down first," Zack said as he began to lower his weapon to the floor. He knew that was one of the things you weren't supposed to do in this type of situation. _Never forfeit your weapon willingly_. But at the moment it seemed to be one of the only ways to try and get the boy to change his mind about killing them all.

At first the boy made no movement, his thumb stayed over the trigger below it. But after a moment, he slid his thumb off of it.

"Good," Zack commented. "That's better. Everything's gonna be fine. No one needs to get hurt in here, right?" he spoke as he nodded and smiled. The boy nodded slightly in response. He seemed to get emotional then, tears building in his eyes. "You're gonna be okay," Zack assured him. "Kingsley," he spoke then, glancing at the third class briefly.

"Sir," Kingsley acknowledged him.

"I want you to leave," Zack ordered. Kingsley looked at him. He shook his head slightly.

"Sir—" he began to say something, likely in protest, but Zack cut him off.

"I'm not going to ask you twice, Kingsley," he said firmly. The third class complied then, backing out of the room slowly. Once he was out of the room, Zack addressed the boy in front of him. "Alright, let's talk through this," he said with another smile.

Kingsley had just barely made it to the end of the hall when a blast erupted from the room he'd just come. The floor shook below him and he ducked down instinctively, dropping his sword to cover his head. He was showered with crumbling concrete and dirt and the lights above him flickered a few times before remaining on. His heart was beating hard in his chest as he reached for his sword and pushed himself to his feet, looking toward the room he'd come just moments before.

"Sir!" he called out then as he began jogging back to the room. "Officer Fair!" he shouted when he'd heard no reply. He stopped abruptly outside the room, glancing down at the floor and at the wall across from the doorway. There were splatters of blood and bits of flesh on the surfaces, some of it clinging to the doorframe. As he gazed into the room he could just barely make out through the darkness that the ceiling above had collapsed in. He was about to attempt to enter the room when he felt the floor vibrating beneath him and the sound of something. Like something breaking apart. He realized then that the floor in the room was crumbling. He noticed cracks running up the walls in the hallway up to the ceiling above him. The whole place was starting to fall apart. "Officer Fair!" he called into the room once again, feeling himself starting to panic.

Somewhere else in the building another explosion was set off and that sent a wave of tremors through the area. The floor below Kingsley shook once again and found him stumbling back against the blood and tissue splattered wall behind him. More bits of concrete fell upon him as the area around him shuddered and the floor in the room across from him gave way. He realized then as he uncovered his eyes that the lights had been cut off that time and he was left in darkness. He felt suddenly that the floor at his feet was becoming unstable. He knew immediately it was breaking apart. Pushing away from the wall at his back he stumbled to his right, hitting the walls on either side of him a few times as he tried to fight to regain his balance and get away from the crumbling floor. The sounds behind him suggested more of the concrete was breaking away.

It was pitch black and he was trying to remember the way back to the surface, feeling the walls for openings. His foot hit something suddenly and he fell forward onto a set of stairs, his shins and knees hitting them hard. He ascended the stairs quickly. He was sure he knew the way from there. It was basically straight down the hall ahead of him and up another set of stairs. He was almost right. There was a corner at the end of the hall with the stairs just around the corner. He realized that when he ran right into the wall where he thought the stairs were supposed to be. When he'd located the stairs he made his way up fast, practically on all fours part of the way.

Pale light lit the area at the top of the stairs, coming from outside. He headed for the exit, using his shoulder to ram the door open where he burst into the cold night air. He was a little disoriented at first, forgetting which side of the building he'd entered. He spotted one of the team though but ignored his motions bidding him over as he went for the west of the building. He knew he should probably round up the terrorist he'd tackled down earlier but he was still reeling over what had just happened.

On the west side of the building he found a few of the other officers, including Doke, who appeared to be trying to reach someone on his communicator. When he noticed Kingsley he called to him.

"Officer Kingsley, why have you not been responding to attempts to contact you?" Sanford questioned sharply.

"My comm wasn't working, sir" he replied shakily. "And uh, one of the terrorists is tied back there," he said while pointing. The first class officer didn't look pleased.

"Why the hell isn't he with you?" Doke asked. "Better question, where's Zack? At last contact, he said you were with him," he pointed out.

Kingsley shook his head. "There was an explosion, sir, I think..." he trailed off as he thought about the blood and bits of flesh that had been all over part of that hallway he'd come from.

Doke looked at him hard, his mouth agape. A voice came in on his handheld communicator then.

"Officer Sanford, primary targets are secure. We're ready to detonate," spoke the voice of one of the team. Doke lifted the communicator.

"Hold," he spoke. "Wait for my go-ahead," he added. "All be advised, this is Doke and I'm requesting a roll check, go." He received a reply from all members of the team but Zack. He pulled his cell from his pocket then and dialled in to the headquarters. "I need to get a hold of Executive Manager Lazard," he explained to dispatch. He wasn't expecting Lazard to be in the office at that time of the night and indeed he wasn't. Someone else answered his phone.

"This is Rufus," the voice answered.

"Vice President?" Doke questioned, not sure he'd heard right. Why was Rufus Shinra answering Lazard's phone?

"Who is this?" Rufus asked back.

"Uh, First Class Darell Sanford, sir," Doke managed to stutter out. I was trying to get a hold of Executive Manager Lazard, sir," he added.

"The manager is unavailable. What's the problem?" Rufus responded impatiently.

"There's a bit of a problem out in Sector Three—" Doke began to explain.

"You're supposed to be getting rid of a terrorist compound out there aren't you? Right about now?" Rufus interrupted.

"Yes, sir, but one of the team is still inside the building and I—"

The vice president stopped him again. "Wasn't your objective to take the leaders of the terrorist group into custody?"

"Yes, sir, but—"

"And have you done that?"

"Yes, sir, but Officer Fa—"

"Well then, Officer Sanford, it's best you finish the mission. Frankly, if the targets are securely in custody than it doesn't matter who is still in the building. The president wanted the building destroyed by midnight and by my watch it's twelve-oh-six so you're late. You know your protocol. Get it done now or I'll send out my Turks to get it done for you."

There was a click as the call was disconnected.

"Sir?" Doke spoke into his phone uneasily. "Sir!" he said a little louder. He flipped his phone shut angrily then. He knew what he was supposed to do. He knew what protocol to follow. He just didn't want to. Reluctantly, he raised a hand to his ear communicator to make an announcement he'd rather not make.

"This is Doke," he said softly. "Stand clear for detonation."

"Sir!" several voices spoke back at the same time. "What about Officer Fair, sir?" one of the voices inquired.

"Prepare for detonation on my mark!" Doke nearly shouted into the comm. "I want comm silence beginning now!" There was a reason for his request. "Zack, this is Doke, state your location," he ordered. Silence.

Kingsley went for one of the spare communicators, activating it and placing it in his ear.

"Zack, this is Doke, state your location," Doke repeated. He exhaled in frustration. "Zack, _answer me_," he demanded then. Kingley looked up at the first class, seeing that he was trying to suppress all emotion. His watch alarm went off then, indicating it was midnight and they'd run out of time. "Burke," Doke said then.

"Sir," Burke acknowledged him reluctantly.

"Detonation in five-count," Doke ordered.

"Yes, sir," the second class answered.

Sanford began the count. "Detonation in five...four..." Kingsley held his breath in dread, feeling overwhelmed in guilt. "...three...two..."

"Hey!" a barely audible voice spoke over the comm frequency, interrupting the end of the count.

Could it be? "Zack?" Doke spoke uneasily.

"Doesn't my ultimate death by detonation deserve a count of ten?" the same barely audible, cracked and static ridden voice questioned.

"Officer Fair!" the voices of a few of the team members exclaimed. Kingsley exhaled in sudden relief.

"Zack!" Doke spoke up happily. "Had me worried for a minute there, you son of a bitch!" he spurted. There was some staticy chuckling in response.

"Sorry 'bout that. How's the team?" Zack inquired.

"All here," Doke replied.

"Kingsley made it out?"

Kingsley felt his stomach jump a little at hearing his name.

"Kingsley," Doke repeated his name, looking at him with a slight nod.

"Yes, sir, I made it out," he spoke into his communicator.

"Good to hear it," Zack said. "Change in plans, guys. You may wanna contact Lazard, Doke. There's something in this place the company might be interested in. Not so sure the president's gonna want the place blown up right away."

"Roger that," Doke responded firmly, though he wasn't totally sure yet how he was going to get in touch with Lazard. He was hesitant to call his office in case he got the vice president again "Burke, you got that?"

"Yes, sir," Burke answered fast. "D-device disarmed."

"Zack, where are you? I'll send in part of the team," Doke declared then.

"Negative," Zack replied. "Area is unstable. I'll get myself out. Get the targets transferred to the detention compound. I'm cutting communication for now. Standby."

"Roger," Doke agreed. "Standing by."

It was all about playing the 'waiting game' now.

The team had been pretty optimistic at first, but spirits had dampened by dawn when Zack still hadn't reappeared. What was worse, another terrorist explosive device was believed to have gone off though it wasn't known how and Zack had only made contact once to confirm he was still alright. And that was hours earlier. Fortunately, Doke had been able to get a hold of Lazard and the manager had been debating sending in a group to try and locate Zack but he was reluctant given the structure's instability. Forty percent of the structure was believed to be collapsed with another twenty damaged. Shinra wasn't in the habit of initiating rescue missions for individuals but the fact Zack had said he'd found something the president might be interested in had changed things.

The members of Zack's team who hadn't gone over to the detention compound with the captured rebels had been relieved of their duties around 2 am but had chosen to stay at the site. Lazard had sent out another team to keep the area secure and a few emergency vehicles had been sent to the location in the case they should be needed. More than a few SOLDIERs had offered to go into the compound to find Zack. In fact, they were very insistent on it. But they received direct orders not to enter the building until given clearance.

News of what had happened spread around the Shinra Headquarters and was leaked to the media. Cloud had found out through Johnny, who said he'd heard about it on the radio, which was exactly how Aerith had heard about it. She'd called Kunsel and he told her to stay at home and he'd let her know when he'd heard anything.

000

Zack woke with a start from where he was slumped against the wall at his back. He inhaled sharply and reached up to touch one of the more tender spots of injury on his left shoulder blade. He checked his watch then, pressing the tiny button on the side to light the display. It was nearly 6 am.

"Shit," he muttered as he leaned forward slightly. He'd been out for about two and a half hours. He hadn't meant to fall asleep at all. Not that it could really be considered sleep. Passing out was more like it. He'd been working on digging his way back up to the first underground level and had become light-headed. He had sat back against the wall nearby and within moments was out. He felt worse now than he had hours earlier. Having been immobile for that time, his entire body felt stiff and sore. He'd been pretty bashed around over the early morning hours. But he couldn't bring himself to complain seeing as he'd been lucky enough to survive what he probably shouldn't have. He recounted the initial explosion. Kingsley had just left the room and it was just him and boy with the explosives strapped to his torso left in the room...

"_Alright, let's talk through this," he said to the boy softly. The boy was shaking, his hand still clasped firmly on the trigger attached to the explosive vest. "Whatever you've been told to do, you don't have to do it," Zack added. There were tears rolling down the boy's face, but his expression was remarkably neutral. "Wouldn't you rather get out of here? Hmm?" Zack questioned. "I promise no one will hurt you."_

_For a brief moment, Zack thought the boy might actually listen to him. But in a split-second, his expression was hardening and his thumb was reaching for the button on the trigger. Zack didn't waste any time in trying to stop the boy, he knew he wouldn't have time. He leapt for the small metal table, diving under it and pulling it onto its side as the explosion was triggered. He didn't have time to cover his ears and probably wouldn't have been able to keep them covered as the table was blasted toward the wall, pushing him with it. If the wall had been drywall the table's legs would probably have gone through it and Zack may have found himself crushed between the underside of the tabletop and the and the wall. But the wall was concrete and instead the legs only bent slightly under the pressure while a wave of fiery air shot towards him. He covered his head with his arms and tucked his legs into his body. He was just barely aware of the whole room shaking and sheets of concrete and dirt falling on top of him. _

_As the room stopped shaking, he became aware that his head was spinning and his ears ringing so loudly he could hear nothing else. He could smell burning flesh and hair and as he fought the haze in his head was able to just barely comprehend the tremors that were running through the floor. He was shocked. The explosion was remarkably small-scale which led him to believe something in the vest the boy had been wearing had malfunctioned. _

_It wasn't until he attempted to sit up that he realized the ceiling had come down. A concrete slab had come down on the table, stopped by the edge of the tabletop and two of the legs. More slabs and rubble had landed around the other sides of the table, effectively confining Zack to a space no larger than two and a half by three feet. The table had probably saved him. There was no time to relish in relief though as the floor shuddered violently and he got the feeling another explosion had been set off somewhere nearby. With his ears still ringing, he could hear nothing of what was happening around him. What he could feel though, was the floor breaking apart beneath him. He was falling before he knew it, though he wasn't aware of it until he actually hit the next floor below. A floor his team hadn't known to exist. He hit solid ground on his right side and cried out when his left shoulder was hit by some of the falling debris. More debris followed, covering him quickly as he tried to pull himself away from the drop zone. Something struck him in the back of his head and knocked him out momentarily. _

_He woke about five minutes later and could see he'd somehow managed to avoid being pinned down by the falling concrete and dirt, though he'd been struck more than just a few times. He lay for a moment, taking in some slow inhales. The ringing in his ears had dimmed a little and he could hear his watch alarm going off, which meant the building was going to be demolished very shortly._

"_Great," he grumbled, lifting his head and squinting through the darkness around him. He couldn't make out much. Or rather, he could make out basically nothing. He began to push himself up to his hands and knees, pausing a moment as a surge of pain flared through his left shoulder. He reached out for something to grasp onto and help him stand, hoping he had enough room to do so. What he reached onto wasn't anything very solid. It was the edge of a box that tipped as he had pulled on it, its contents spilling out onto the floor. He felt some light objects hit his knees and reached down to pick up one of what felt like a CD cover. He pressed the button on the side of his watch to light it up, using that bit of luminescence to see what was written on the CD cover. _

Shinra: Hard Drive 35b

"_What?" Zack questioned aloud, not understanding. He picked up another of the covers. _

Shinra: Hard Drive 22c

_He quickly realized after using his watch light as a guide that the room was full of boxes, some of which were now crushed by the ceiling caving in. He reached for another box. Inside of it were more CDs. These ones marked with "_Surveillance," _not all of which included the name "_Shinra_" but "_Wutai_" as well. _

"_How in the hell?"he wondered as he sifted through the box. He heard what sounded like a tremor running through the floor above and more debris fell into the room. He looked at his watch again as he remembered what was set to happen in the next few minutes. No, what was supposed to be happening now. Past now. The building was supposed to be demolished at midnight and it was after midnight. He reached up for his communicator only to realize it was no longer in his ear. "Oh, that's just awesome," he spoke in frustration as he began sifting through the rubble where he'd fallen from the level above. "Come on!" he shouted in annoyance. _

_He picked up one of the larger, fist-sized pieces of debris and there was his communicator. "Oh, yes, yes, yes baby," he said happily as he placed the comm in his ear. He activated it and could immediately hear Doke's voice. _

"_Zack, this is Doke, state your location,"_ _Doke was ordering. _

"_This is Zack, I'm down in the—" he began to reply but Doke continued. _

"_Zack, answer me," he demanded. _

_Zack took the comm from his ear and looked at it. He was pressing the correct button. It must have been damaged during the explosion. He pressed the button in harder and spoke directly into it. _

"_Doke, hey, it's me," he said. Nothing. Doke was about to initiate the detonation of the placed explosives. _

"_Detonation in five count," Doke ordered Burke. _

"_No, don't detonate!" Zack shouted. _

_Doke began the count. "Detonation in five...four...three...two..."_

_e H__"Hey!" Zack tried one last time. Amazingly, Doke halted his count. _

"_Zack?" Doke questioned hesitantly. _

Yes! _Zack thought. He replied then."Doesn't my ultimate death by detonation deserve a count of ten?" _

_His team was finally hearing him. He told Doke that he'd found something Shinra may be interested in. And that wasn't just to save his ass. He told them not to come after him though. Truth was he wasn't sure where he'd fallen into and he certainly didn't want the team risking themselves to get in to help. The area above him was highly unstable. He told them to wait for him instead and that he'd be ending contact for the time being. He needed to not have any voices in his head while he was trying to get his way back to the surface. _

_With communications cut off temporarily, he reached for some of the CDs in the nearby boxes. He began filling his pockets with them. As many as would fit without the seams busting. Just in case the rest couldn't be recovered later. With his pockets full, he began working on getting himself out of the building._

That was hours ago. He'd managed to get his way back up to the second underground level but it became obvious pretty quickly that there must have been two or perhaps three other small explosions in the building. Most of that level was in rough shape. He had found what he thought to be the stairs that led up to the next level above but they were covered in chunks of debris. He had decided then to start digging. He hadn't made it very far before passing out. He needed to make up for lost time.

His communicator had died on him sometime during the time he was out so he wasn't able to make contact with Doke to let him know what was going on. Only once did it enter into his head that he may not be able to get himself out. But he continued on with scraped and bleeding hands, one piece of broken cement at a time.

At 8 am, the team Lazard had gotten together was about to attempt to enter the terrorist compound. The building was still intact on the ground level so they were able to get in easily. As the first SOLDIER was about to descend the stairs to the first underground level there came a sound of shuffling from somewhere below. The SOLDIER shone a light down the stairwell and at the bottom of the stairs a figure appeared. Zack looked upwards toward the team, putting a hand in front of his eyes to shield them from the light.

"Officer Fair," the SOLDIER at the front of the line called.

"Hey guys," Zack called up to them. "What's up?"

"We're your rescue team," the SOLDIER called back.

"Oh. Well sorry to thwart the mission. One of you can carry me up the stairs if you want though," Zack replied with a grin. The team laughed lightly.

"Get your ass up here, SOLDIER," the team leader said as he and the rest of the team stepped back from the stairway to make way for Zack. There was a round of cheering when he exited the building with the rescue team. He was surprised to see his own team still outside waiting. They looked about as tired as he felt. He didn't let on how exhausted he really was and how sore he was as he took congratulations from people. Doke was at his side after a few minutes, urging the small crowd to let Zack be for now. Zack turned over to him the small hoard of CDs he'd pocketed from the secret third underground level. Before he was taken away by Academy paramedics he let Doke know that there were many many more discs down in the building's underground. He certainly hoped they would be recovered before the president demanded the compound be demolished.

His cares melted away for the time being as he was being driven to the infirmary. He smiled though, knowing the mission had essentially been successful. The primary targets were in custody, the team was safe and the majority were free of injury, and he hadn't been blown up. He'd sleep well tonight.


	22. Chapter 21

_Hey everyone! I'm back! For a little bit anyway lol. I've been writing like crazy the past few days to get some stuff ready to submit. I had a lot more planned for this chapter but it was getting lengthy and I need a bit of a break so I decided to just submit this now and I'm gonna continue working on the next chapter. Should only be another day or so before it's out. On that note, I have to say this chapter is dialogue-heavy, mainly focused on Zack. Hope that's cool. It'll be back to Cloud in the next chapter. Thanks for waiting around for me guys! See you shortly!_

_Disclaimer: Don't own FFVII_

Chapter XXI

"You sure you don't want to lie down?" Dr. Farva, the doctor presently working on cleaning out a small wound over Zack's shoulder blade questioned. The wound had been caused by some of the falling concrete that had hit him in the terrorist's compound. The wound needed to be cleared of the dirt and bits of concrete before it could be stitched closed.

"No, I'm fine," Zack assured him. He barely noticed the tweezers digging through his skin. He was too preoccupied with his phone that he could tell had been ringing the past ten minutes. It was on vibrate. The doctor and nurse in the room hadn't seemed to notice. When it started to vibrate for about the fourth time, he asked if the nurse wouldn't mind handing it to him. She fished it out from under his shirts and armor lying nearby. He flipped it open and answered, not sure who would be calling.

"Zackary!" a woman's frantic sounding voice spoke. It wasn't just any woman. It was his mother. He groaned inwardly.

"Hi, Ma," he replied less than enthusiastically.

"Don't 'Hi, Ma,' me," his mother shot back at him in a mixture of anger and depleting panic. "Do you know how long I've been trying to call you? Why have a phone if you aren't going to answer it?"

"I'm in the infirmary, Ma, I couldn't answer—" he began to explain.

"The infirmary?!" she spouted, interrupting him. "I knew it! I heard something on the radio about some terrorist explosion and I knew you had to have been there. I tried calling the headquarters and they wouldn't say anything. Your father's going to have a heart attack. If he has a heart attack it'll be that company's fault—" she ranted.

"I'm not having a heart attack," he heard his father say calmly from somewhere in the background. "Why don't you sit down before you have one?"

"I don't need to sit down," his mother spoke back to his father. "What I want to know is why you didn't call to tell us you were going back into the field."

Zack realized she was talking to him once again.

"Ma, c'mon, I was busy. It was kinda a big deal for me. I was leading the mission," Zack explained.

"Busy? You couldn't find two minutes to call your mother? To tell her about your big news?"

Zack rubbed his face with his one hand. He groaned openly then. "Alright, I'm sorry. I should have called," he said in surrender.

"You know, Angeal always used to make sure you called home. We only hear from you every month or so now," his mother pointed out

"I know, Ma," Zack said softly, trying not to think about Angeal. He couldn't help it though. It was true. Angeal has basically forced him to call home every week with the threat of dropping him as a protégé if he didn't. Angeal had his philosophical reasons for it of course. He believed in never taking for granted how important family is and fully advocated keeping those family ties strong. It wasn't that Zack wasn't grateful for his family. He loved them, but he didn't like to divulge to his parents what SOLDIER was really like. Or what his job entailed. Or how much he really liked his job.

"Are you alright?" his mom questioned then, her tone a little less sharp. "What happened? You got hurt?"

"No it'sssss—" he broke off in a hiss as the doctor pressed some gauze dabbed in alcohol to his shoulder.

"Zackary?" his mother's voice drew his attention back.

"I'm fine, Ma. It's just routine check-up after a mission," he lied.

There was a bit of a pause on his mother's end before she asked without hesitation "Are you still dating that girl who sells those flowers?"

He let out a bit of dry laugh. "Yeah, Ma." He watched at the doctor was preparing a suture needle to stitch his shoulder wound closed with.

"When do we get to meet her?" his mom inquired.

"Uhh…I dunno, Ma. It's not like I get much time off to take trips home, ya know."

That was also a lie. He'd had plenty of opportunity. He just didn't want to go home. He couldn't go back there while he was removed from field duty. He just felt strangely ashamed. He felt the need to prove himself before going back there.

"Well, you can't hide her forever, sweetheart," his mother said and he smiled a little.

"I uh, gotta go now, Ma," he said in return. "Say 'hi' to Dad. I'll…I'll call you soon."

"Alright," she said with a little disappointment. "We love you, honey. Happy New Year."

"Love you too, Ma, and yeah, Happy New Year," he said in return before hanging up. New Year. He had forgotten about that. What a way he was going to be spending New Year's Eve.

As he slipped the phone into one of the pockets in his pants he was reminded suddenly how tired he was. It was about 10 a.m. He just wanted to be done with the medical crap so he could go back to his room. He had already been granted temporary relief of post-mission questioning given the doctor had diagnosed him with having some minor head trauma. It certainly felt like more than minor. Whatever had knocked him out down in the compound had left a pretty good welt on the back of his head. Still, his mind was filled with things concerning him, namely, what he'd found down in the compound. He was more than just a little curious about it.

"I'm going to recommend you stay here for the night while you get some rest," the doctor said then as he was working on sewing him up.

"No, that's not necessary," Zack replied, shaking his head.

"Officer Fair, you were given a pretty good concussion, it's customary that you be monitored for at least twelve hours in such an event," the doctor argued.

"Really, I'm good," Zack insisted.

"Well I can't force you to stay, but if you are going to leave, at least have someone check on you a few times," the doctor suggested.

"Yeah, sure," Zack agreed, though he wasn't serious about it. He'd had more concussions than he could count and he was sure he'd have a hell of a lot more in the future.

When the doctor had finally finished, Zack headed down toward the room where Cloud had been kept in but found the cadet gone when he'd gotten down there. He suspected it meant he'd finally been released from the infirmary but he waited until a nurse confirmed it before smiling to himself over the thought. He signed some injury paperwork before leaving, thankful that the forms had already been filled out for the most part, probably by the doctor. He then began his walk back over to the main building, dragging his feet tiredly.

He had intended to go directly to his room but couldn't help stopping by the office. He wanted to check and see if Kunsel was around. He knew it was technically not allowed until after he'd gone through post-mission questioning, but he just had to tell his friend about what he'd found down in the terrorist compound.

It was around lunch time so he wasn't expecting too many people to be in the office. Kunsel didn't typically eat down in the cafeteria, if he ate lunch at all. He was usually so busy doing whatever he was supposed to be doing at the time he couldn't be bothered to stop. Kunsel was indeed at his desk in the office, though it didn't actually seem like he was doing anything in particular. Staring at a computer absent-mindedly. Zack approached him and saw his friend's eyes look up as he neared him. Kunsel pushed himself back a little from the computer in front of him. He shook his head and laughed a little when Zack pulled a chair from one of the nearby cubicles and sat down in front of Kunsel's desk.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Kunsel asked then. "You couldn't handle one lousy night in the infirmary?" he added as he leaned back in his chair.

"Are you kidding?" Zack replied fast. "I can't handle a few lousy hours in the infirmary." He sat down across from his friend.

"Man…" Kunsel said through a long exhale. "You look like shit. You have a building fall on you or something? I think this mission business may be a bit much for you," he joked.

"Ha, ha," Zack returned. "You wanna be shot again?" he asked lightly. Kunsel smiled.

"You talk to Aerith yet?" his friend asked.

"No," Zack admitted, resting the side of his face in the palm of his one hand. "Did she call you?" he questioned and Kunsel nodded. "Was she freaking out?" he asked next.

"A bit," Kunsel confirmed. Zack rolled his eyes as he thought about it. "It's not her fault. You didn't hear the radio broadcast. Since people can't seem to keep their mouths shut, people all over headquarters were talking about what was going on and within the next few hours there were stories being aired claiming a city block had been blown up and that an entire group of SOLDIERs, plus civilians, had been killed. It wasn't until about four in the morning that they got the story straight. That it was just you in there. Which didn't exactly help matters."

Zack shook his head in annoyance. "No wonder Ma was freaking," he muttered.

"Your mom called you?" Kunsel said in surprise.

"Yeah, she was pissed."

Kunsel laughed a little. "Didn't know you guys got radio broadcasts out in Gongaga," he mocked. Zack only threw him a glare in response. Kunsel grew serious then. "What the hell happened down there?" he asked finally.

"Man…suicide bomber," Zack revealed. "It was a kid," he added, shaking his head sadly. "Couldn't talk him out of it, ya know."

Kunsel looked back at him sympathetically. "It's not your fault you couldn't stop him," he pointed out.

"Yeah…" Zack agreed with a slight nod. "I know." He thought about it briefly. "I found something down there though. May not have had there not been an explosion."

"What was it?" Kunsel inquired.

"Discs. Hundreds of them."

"Discs? Of what?" his friend asked curiously.

"I'm not sure. I think copies of hard drives and surveillance from Shinra," Zack answered slowly.

Kunsel's eyes widened slightly. "What? Are you serious?"

Zack nodded. "There was stuff down their labeled 'Wutai' as well," he continued. "I grabbed a few of them and gave them to Doke before I was carted off to the infirmary."

"No, wait a minute," Kunsel said then, shaking his head. "You said there were hundreds of these discs down in that compound?"

"Yeah," Zack reaffirmed.

"That makes no sense. Did Doke know?" was Kunsel's next question.

"Well, duh. I wasn't gonna keep it a secret. The building was scheduled to be destroyed."

"But the building _was _destroyed, Zack," Kunsel revealed suddenly. Zack stared back at him, not understanding.

"What…" he struggled to say something.

"The place was detonated almost immediately after you got out," his friend explained.

Zack was at a complete loss for words. He regained them shortly.

"You're fucking serious," he said in disbelief. Kunsel nodded once again. Zack rose from his chair then and without another word headed for the door. Kunsel already knew where Zack was heading.

Zack all but stormed Lazard's office. The secretary refused at first to even call into the man's office, saying that he was busy. In response to that, Zack planted himself firmly in the room and refused to leave. Finally, she gave in. Lazard admitted him almost immediately.

"Zack, please, have a seat," the man offered as Zack entered his office.

"No thanks," Zack said sharply.

"You know, when you were granted temporary relief from post-mission questioning, it was assumed that you'd be in your personal quarters getting some rest," Lazard commented.

"Did Doke not talk to you when I got out of the compound?" Zack said in return, ignoring his statement.

"He did," the director confirmed.

"Well, did he happen to mention a shitload of discs I found in the compound with apparent connection to Shinra and Wutai?" Zack asked next.

"He did mention something of the sort," the man said with a nod. That only fueled Zack's anger more.

"Then what the hell, sir?! Was it not something worth checking out before destroying?" Zack questioned.

The director leaned back in his chair a little farther. "Normally? Yes. I divulged the information to the vice president and the decision was to continue with the scheduled detonation."

Zack shook his head in exasperation. "I don't get it, sir," he said in a softer tone, leaning his forearms on the edge of the back of one of the chairs in front of him.

"It's not your concern, Zack. You did the job you were supposed to do. Your mission was completed successfully," the director began.

"But sir, don't you think it would have been better to at least look at some of the discs? It seemed to me that they had some potentially important and probably stolen information on them," Zack pushed on.

"It's not my job to question the decisions made by our superiors," Lazard responded simply. Zack was about to continue with his argument but the director diffused his attempt. "It's finished now, Zack. Go. Get some rest now. You'll need it if you're going to be heading back out into the field to lead another mission."

Zack was sure the surprise registered on his face.

"Lead?" he mouthed. He shook his head then. "I screwed up though, sir," he claimed.

"How?" the director inquired.

"Uh, the place got blown-up pre-maturely. Kingsley was almost in the middle of it. Couldn't even manage to keep him outside where he was supposed to be," he explained.

"But you also had your team cleared out of the building before the explosion. You secured the targets we were after, and as far as Kingsley's concerned, he came forward immediately to explain why he was in the building when he shouldn't have been. He credits you for making it back out without injury."

Zack averted his eyes before bringing a hand to his face, rubbing it tiredly.

"You're relieved of your duties for the next twenty-four hours, Zack. Go get some sleep. Just make sure you report to the tank for post-mission questioning tomorrow morning at ten," Lazard instructed.

Reluctantly, Zack nodded and rose to leave. He didn`t go back to his room, however. As tired as he was, he left the headquarters building and headed for the train station. He could have just called Aerith. Told her he was fine and that he'd see her soon. But he decided instead to see her now.

She wasn't at the church when he arrived but he waited for her, suspecting she'd return sometime that afternoon. He made a fire in the hearth and fell asleep at the back of the church while waiting but he woke when he felt movement against his chest. He smiled as he felt a warm arm wrap around his torso. _Aerith_.Without opening his eyes he lifted his left arm and circled it around her body hugging close to him. He placed his right hand on the back of Aerith's head and ran his fingers through her hair slowly.

"I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered after a few moments.

"Told you I would be," Zack said back.

"Were you hurt?" Aerith asked then.

"Not bad," Zack assured her. "Just sore, and tired."

"I thought I'd lost you," she said sadly.

"Never," he said as he finally opened his eyes to look at her. He removed his hand from her hair to place it behind his head.

"Guess you can't really talk about what happened…right?" she asked, though she did know the answer already. SOLDIERs weren't permitted to talk about their missions with civilians, and in some cases with each other.

"Unfortunately not. I would if I could," Zack said sadly.

"I know," she sighed.

"Something's not right," Zack said then. Aerith raised her head to look at him.

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"I think the vice president is up to something. Or trying to hide something. I dunno."

"What do you mean?" Aerith inquired, shaking her head slowly as she rested her chin on his chest.

"I dunno. I just…I found some things in the terrorist compound I thought the company may be interested in but the vice president ordered the building destroyed anyway. It was such a quick decision. It's not like the company to not look into things that concern them. I just—I get this feeling sometimes like he's trying to take over, to worm his way to presidential position somehow," he explained.

"Why? It's not like he's not going to become president eventually. Surely his father plans on handing the company over to him," Aerith countered.

Zack thought about it. "Yeah, I guess," he agreed.

Aerith rested her one cheek back on his chest and hugged him tighter. "How long can you stay?" she asked softly.

"Forever," was his answer.

She giggled in return. "I wish."

"I should be back at the Academy soon. In case someone comes to check on me. I haven't gone through post-mission questioning yet. I shouldn't really be here."

"Ohhh" she groaned. "Can't you just spend the night here, with me? It's New Year's Eve."

He laughed lightly. "Sure. Screw protocol. Screw Shinra." He was only partly joking. He was still thinking about the vice president. He couldn't help the thoughts that came to his mind. What if Rufus had been connected to those discs he found in the compound? What if Rufus had given them to the terrorists? And what if Rufus had known ahead of time about the attack that was to take place at the banquet hall on Christmas? What if he'd helped plan it?"

It didn't really add up. If Rufus was working with the terrorists then why come back with a strike against them? Unless that was always his plan. To use them and screw them over.

The whole thing made Zack's head throb more insistently. He didn't know if he was going to be able to let it go.

When he got back to his room he called Doke to ask him about the discs he'd given him.

"I don't have them, if that's what you're asking about," Doke said tiredly. "They were taken by the Evidence department. You should know that's the way it works."

Zack groaned against the receiver. "I'll never get clearance to see those things," he stated dully. "Who works down there? Anyone I know?"

"Sorry, man. I would have tried harder to keep hold of 'em, but you know how they pounce on you post-mission. We're required to turn over everything but the clothes on our backs," Doke said. It was true. Often times, even their weapons were confiscated for a few days while investigations and paperwork were being wrapped up. When Zack had come back from his last mission to Wutai he hadn't seen Angeal's sword for nearly a month.

"Yeah, I know. It's alright," Zack replied in acceptance. "I just…can't believe the vice president would have that place blown up, knowing what was in it" he added.

Doke scoffed. "I can."

"Why?" Zack inquired.

"Well he was ready to blow the place with you still in it when you weren't responding on your communicator," Doke revealed. "Those things suck by the way, we got an order coming for new ones."

"What the hell do you mean? Did he call during the mission?" Zack asked, ignoring Doke's slight diversion.

"I called him," Doke clarified. "Well—not Rufus. Lazard. When you weren't responding, I called Lazard's office and Rufus answered. He ordered that the compound be detonated immediately. Like right that goddamn minute. He didn't give a crap who was still inside. All he cared about was that the targets were in custody."

Knowing this didn't exactly give Zack a good feeling inside. He knew already that SOLDIERs were still expendable no matter who they were and that missions needed to be carried out to the end even if a SOLDIER's life would be at stake. Before he was able to get communication out to his team when he was stuck in the compound, it was expected that they would follow their original orders and detonate the place. He accepted that but that's not generally how things went. SOLDIERs did care about one another and would do what they could to make sure their team stayed alive. Further, it was uncharacteristic of Shinra to be careless with their SOLDIERs. There had been such a reduction in numbers in the past year that they needed every one they had.

"I wouldn't have done it, you know," Doke said then.

Zack shook his head though Doke couldn't see it. "Done what?"

"Blown the place with you still in it," Doke answered. "I mean, if it got to the end of that countdown and you still hadn't answered. I woulda gone in after you."

"Missions are more important," Zack said in return.

"Not always, and sure as hell not this one," Doke argued.

Zack smiled. "Well, thanks."

"You're a tough kid, Fair," Doke said then and Zack rolled his eyes. Almost no one had referred to him as a 'kid' since Angeal's death. He was one of the youngest first class officers and technically, he was a kid. He didn't feel it though. And he was sure as hell glad most of his peers treated him as their equal, though Angeal had said once that he had advanced too fast for his own good. He never explained further what he was meaning but Zack figured it had something to do with not enjoying his childhood. The way he saw it, he had been childish enough while under his guidance.

"Get some damn sleep," Doke said then.

"Yeah, you too," Zack replied before closing his phone and placing it on the table next to the bed. He rolled over onto his left side and stared at the door. "You're up to something, Rufus. I know it," he said aloud before finally closing his eyes.

000

New Year's celebrations were virtually non-existent at Shinra. Not even a week ago, there had been the shooting at the banquet hall. It seemed that most people weren't in the celebration kind of mood. Zack woke from a long, much needed sleep at around 8 pm. He groaned deeply as he dragged himself off the bed, rolling his injured shoulder slowly to rid it of some of the stiffness. He could have gone back to sleep if he wanted to but his stomach was nagging him to be fed. He wasn't sure what he was going to get his hands on at the time of night it was but he had a thought that there may be some kind of party going on downstairs.

When he opened the door to his room his eyes fell to something sitting just outside. It was a case of beer. There was a piece of paper taped to it. He bent over to pick up the case, bringing it into his room and setting it on the bed. He read the piece of paper then.

_Happy New Year from the team of Mission 0-480-a_

He smiled before heading out of his room and downstairs. When he got down to the foyer he could tell there was at least some sort of event going on. But he didn't check it out right then. He headed down to the cadet dorms instead, stopping at Dorm B. He was a little surprised to find Cloud not at his bunk, but he had heard some water running in the bathroom as he passed by and was pretty sure it would be Cloud. Resting on the cadet's bed was the book he'd given him for Christmas. He picked it up slowly and turned it over to see what page he was in the middle of reading.

"Sir," a voice spoke then from across the room. He looked up to see Cloud coming toward him.

"You're actually reading it," Zack said in return, holding the book up briefly.

"You're okay," Cloud replied as he stopped next to the bunks.

"Sure am," Zack responded simply. "I don't remember this thing being very interesting. But now it actually seems like a good read," he commented, still looking at the book.

"You can have it back, if you want, sir," Cloud said a little uneasily.

"Oh no, that bad huh?" Zack joked.

"No," Cloud said fast. "I like it, I just thought…I mean it was yours, if you wanted to have it back to read…"

"Nope," Zack said, setting the book back down on the bed. "I'm good. I'll borrow it if I ever have the urge to read it." Cloud nodded in understanding. "How you feeling?" Zack asked then.

"Uh, alright," Cloud answered as he leaned against the bed frame next to him. "Still kinda sore. I'm hoping to get in a few days of training before all the cadets come back and classes resume."

Zack gave him a look of mild disapproval. "Don't work yourself too hard, alright?"

"Yes, sir," Cloud agreed.

Zack smiled a little and then looked back over his shoulder at Johnny's bunk. "Six not here tonight?"

"No, sir. He probably won't be back until one when he's supposed to check back in."

Zack frowned. "Hmph. Hope he's staying out of trouble."

"Probably not," Cloud replied lowly and Zack laughed.

"Yeah, probably not," he agreed. "Come on," he said then and nudged Cloud in the arm as he headed for the door. He looked back when Cloud didn't immediately follow him. "Come on," he repeated.

Instead of asking Zack where it was he wanted to go, Cloud just followed along. It wasn't like he had anything better to do. He could hear what sounded like a party going on as they neared it in the main building.

"You hungry?" Zack asked him then.

"Uhhh…" Cloud didn't know how to respond. Did saying yes mean they were going to join the party?

"Course you are," Zack said before Cloud could say anything else. Instead of leading them into the room where the party was going on, he led them down the hall. He stopped at a door and Cloud read what was written on it.

"This is the kitchen, sir," he said a little uneasily.

"Yep, I can read too," Zack replied, sticking his head in the door. "Hey!" he called out into the kitchen. "Finley!"

A moment later a guy in an apron came to the door. "What up, Fair?" he said as he shook hands with Zack.

"My buddy and I are starvin' out here, you think you could hook us up?" Zack asked. The guy laughed.

"I don't know that you'd like what we're serving. It ain't burgers and fries."

"Is there cake?" Zack inquired.

"Three kinds," Finley announced.

"Well I guess that makes up for it. C'mon man. Be nice I almost died," Zack said with a fake pout.

"Ha! That's funny. You're goddamn invincible," Finley replied before glancing back into the kitchen. "Alright," he said at last.

"Yes!" Zack exclaimed and went to follow him into the kitchen.

"Hey! You know you're not allowed in here. Bento will be pissed if he sees you. Just wait your ass out here," he ordered. Zack sighed in acceptance, stepping back from the door.

"Why aren't you allowed in the kitchen, sir?" Cloud asked after a moment.

Zack laughed before he could answer. "I was ordered to do some work in here for while a year back. I drove the head chef nuts. He threw a meat clever at me," he explained.

"A meat clever?!" Cloud repeated in shock.

"Well…it was a plastic display meat clever," Zack clarified. "But it still hurt!" he added. Cloud shook his head and laughed a little as he thought about it.

The door to the kitchen opened again and Finley appeared with two Styrofoam containers.

"Here ya go, don't say I never did nothin' for ya," he said as he handed the containers to Zack.

Zack took the containers happily. "Thanks man, I owe you," he said and Finley waved him off before ducking back into the kitchen. Zack turned and smiled smugly at Cloud before handing him one of the containers. "Pays to have connections," he told him before leading him to the elevators.

"You mind keeping me company for awhile 'till I pass out again?" he asked as they approached the elevators and Zack hit the 'up' arrow.

"Sure," Cloud agreed.

He still felt a little awkward when he entered Zack's room. Zack pulled out the chair at his desk for Cloud to sit in. He set down his food while he opened the case of beer on the bed.

"How old are you again?" he called back to Cloud.

"Fourteen," Cloud answered a little lowly.

"That's what I thought, here" Zack replied and reached behind him with one of the bottles. He wagged it a little until Cloud took it from him. Of course Cloud was underage. They both were technically. But one wasn't going to hurt.

"Really?" Cloud said as he looked at the beer like it was a foreign object.

Zack looked back at him and shrugged. "It's not like you got morning drills or anything. You've drank before, haven't you?"

"No, sir," Cloud replied softly. Zack looked at him fast.

"What? Not even a little? A taste? Nothing?" Zack fired at him in surprise. He sat himself down on his bed with his back against the wall. The cadet shook his head a little bashfully. "Wow, I mean, I wasn't expecting you to have been getting tanked or anything but…you never went into your parent's stash and just tested it out?"

"No, sir. My mother didn't have any alcohol in the house," Cloud explained.

"Oh, well…you may not like it very much then. Beer's a little bitter." Zack twisted the cap off his bottle and laughed a little as Cloud struggled with his.

"Shuddup," Cloud said as he laughed himself.

"Don't worry, I'm sure it's not cause you're weak. The cap's probably just on extra tight," Zack mocked. With the aid of his shirt put over the cap, he was finally able to get it off the bottle. Cloud sniffed it a little first. "What the hell are you doing? Just taste it!" Zack ordered and the cadet complied.

Well he didn't have a disgusted look on his face, so that was probably a good sign.

"What do you think?" Zack asked, opening the container he had in his lap.

"It's weird," Cloud said, looking at the bottle's label as if it would explain its 'weirdness.' He opened his own container and looked in it. He recognized one thing. The cake. "What is all this stuff?" he asked.

"Hors d'oeuvres," Zack said. "And they aren't bad." When Cloud stared back at him, he went on. "They're appetizers basically. Ya know, what they serve at parties, get-togethers, etcetera." When Cloud still looked a little confused he added "God, who _are _you? Remind me where it is you're from again."

"Nibelheim," Cloud replied as thought he really didn't want to give up the name of the place.

Zack shook his head and put one of what Cloud thought looked like a taco made with lettuce instead of corn shell in his mouth. "So backwater," he said through a partially full mouth. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"Where are you from, sir?" Cloud inquired.

" Gongaga."

Cloud laughed then. "Hey!" Zack piped up, picking up one of his appetizers and throwing it Cloud's way. The cadet caught it before it pelted him. "You've heard of it I take it?"

"No," Cloud replied, "Just sounds…ya know, 'backwater'," he explained and held up what Zack had thrown at him. "What is this?" It looked a little like the hole of a donut.

"I can never remember the actual names of the things so I just make them up. I call that a cheese donut hole," Zack said and Cloud nodded. Exactly as he'd thought. "Try some stuff. It looks weird but most of its good." Cloud picked up something to put in his mouth and Zack stopped him. "Except that. It's mountain slug."

"What?" Cloud exclaimed looking at it with disgust.

"No, I'm kidding, it's not," Zack laughed. Cloud threw him a distrustful look. "I swear," he assured him, watching with amusement as the cadet chewed it tentatively. "Well?" he asked.

"Yeah, not bad," Cloud agreed.

After a minute of eating, Cloud asked "Did you always know you wanted to be in SOLDIER?"

Zack shrugged a little. "Sorta, I guess. I knew I wanted to do something like it. But pretty much I didn't even think about it until a few guys from the town were heading out the one September to try out. They said I should come along, so I did."

"Did they make it into SOLDIER too?" Cloud asked next, taking another gulp of beer. It tasted even weirder now that he was eating.

"One did. But he got himself an eye injury early on as a third class. Lost most of the vision in his left eye so he couldn't go on. Well he could have, I suppose. But he would have been confined to a desk most of his time. So he quit instead."

"That sucks," Cloud said, imagining how horrible it would be if that happened to him. His dream killed in an instant.

"Eh, he was kinda a dick," Zack said, shrugging again. "What about you? You always want to be in SOLDIER?"

Cloud nodded. "Well, since I was six anyway. Some SOLDIERs came to the town to do something at the reactor. At night they told the kids some stories about SOLDIER. And about General Sephiroth. We were all in awe. Since then, I always wanted to be that kind of person. Someone people look up to. Someone strong and…I dunno, fearless I guess…" He averted his eyes then. "It's dumb, I know—"

"No, it's not," Zack argued. "It's good that you have a goal like that to motivate you."

Cloud nodded slowly. "What's he like to be around? The general?" he couldn't help but ask.

"Ya know," Zack said, pausing to take a drink. "General-like."

"You don't like him?" Cloud asked tentatively. "I just thought…maybe you were friends."

Zack thought hard about how he should answer. "Well, I'm not sure he really has _friends_. I would have liked to call him a friend but…I dunno, I think two were enough for him. When he lost them, he just didn't want anymore."

"Angeal, right?" Cloud spoke hesitantly, not sure if he should be asking so many questions.

"Yeah," Zack answered, nodding. "And Genesis Rhapsodos. Genesis was a general as well, though it's not really talked about. He was de-ranked only shortly after becoming a general. They were good friends though. Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis. Angeal and Genesis died around the same time and I think it just…hit him harder than he would like to admit, being the tough, 'fearless' man he is."

"Angeal was your…" Cloud began but trailed off, again not sure if he was heading out of line with his questioning.

"Mentor?" Zack finished for him. "Yeah." Looking at Cloud, he could tell he would like to know more. If it were anyone else, he wouldn't have gone on, but he didn't mind it so much with Cloud. "It wasn't easy, losing Angeal as a SOLDIER, or a mentor. Or a friend. He was…an incredible person. If there was ever someone to look up to…"

"Instead of Sephiroth, you mean?" Cloud asked, a little bit of disappointment in his tone.

"No. Angeal was different than Sephiroth. Either made a good role model," Zack tried to explain by keeping his personal feelings aside but it wasn't really working out. He gave in and just got to the point. "Honestly, I was in awe of Sephiroth, just like you. I'm ways I still am. When Angeal died I just wanted him to help fill the void. To be there to share in a little of the burden. The pain. But he left. At the time I was angry at him. I'm not entirely sure now that I'm not still a bit angry but…I'm sure he was dealing with more than I'd ever understand."

Cloud nodded in understanding, though his eyes were lowered slightly.

"Sorry if that, I dunno, tarnishes your image of him, or whatever," Zack apologized awkwardly. Cloud looked up at him.

"No, you haven't. I know. People aren't just one-dimensional. It doesn't change the way I look up to him. Makes me a little sad though. For him. And you, sir."

Zack scoffed and took another drink of beer. "Don't be. Life's too short to be sad."

Cloud took another sip of his own beer before asking "How long has the general been gone?"

"Almost a year," Zack responded before taking a bite of cake.

Cloud looked away a moment then said "He'll come back right?"

Zack shrugged. "Only the general knows that," he replied and then smiled.


	23. Chapter 22

_Happy Friday, guys, this is technically what was meant to be included in Chapter 21 but as you will see it's pretty long so I needed to break it up. Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: FFVII not mine. _

Chapter XXII

Cloud had been dreading the return of the cadets to the dorms shortly after New Year's. He would be happy to see Paul, but not so happy to be confronted with Dolt and Solice. The two guys who had helped beat him to a pulp before Christmas but had gotten away with it because he refused to turn them in. On the bright side, Brice was gone. He thought himself lucky to not share a dorm with either Dolt or Solice, or a class group. So really, the only times he would see them would be on the field in the mornings and in the halls if he should happen to pass them. He was content with that thought until the first day that classes resumed when he had his first run in with one of them.

He was heading to class with his books in his hand, fumbling with them as he tried to hold onto a pencil and eraser he'd grabbed off Paul before heading for class. Just as he got the eraser and pencil into his one pocket, one of the books slid off his others and onto the floor. Exhaling in frustration, he leaned over to pick the book back up. Just as his fingers were about to touch the hard cover of the book, a boot came down on it, pinning it to the ground. Cloud raised his eyes. His stomach tightened when he found himself looking up at Curtis Dolt. Cloud straitened himself to face him, expecting…well anything. Dolt just looked at him, a sneer forming on his face slowly before he stepped aside a little and started to move forward again, his shoulder connecting with Cloud's and pushing him back a little.

Cloud didn't bother to look back. He leaned over and picked up his book. He had hoped Dolt would leave him alone after the holidays. That maybe he'd even feel a little bad about what had happened. And would maybe even be thankful for not being turned it. But now Cloud was almost sure the cadet was going to be on his case shortly. Not that it mattered really, he would still fight to the end.

It seemed like most of the cadets were experiencing a bittersweet feeling over being back at the Academy. Eager to be back in training, but not so eager for the return to early morning workouts and late nights of homework. What made the morning workouts harder was the fact that it was so cold out. Bitter and snowy. It wasn't so bad after about ten minutes of running but just forcing yourself out of bed that early in the middle of winter was hell in itself.

The first few mornings out on the field were especially difficult for Cloud. He was out of shape and lagged behind most of the others, even though they'd been at home for two weeks, presumably not training. Halfway through his first lap around the track he could have quit. He wished Zack were out there to help motivate him, but Zack was only a part-time dorm officer as of a few days earlier. He'd been given the opportunity to participate in more missions, which meant he needed to spend more time preparing and researching for them. So much for the lowly cadets. That wasn't true. Cloud could tell when Zack was giving him the news that he felt really guilty about not being able to be there all the time for the cadets. Guaranteed the cadets would miss him more than he missed them though.

While Cloud wasn't exactly happy to have all the other cadets back, he was a little happy to see Paul, and even a tiny bit glad to have Lou back. People who talked to him without insulting him. Well, Paul anyway. Lou tended to insult everyone. But in a dry, 'it don't mean I don't like you' kind of way. For the first week though, no one really bothered him. He'd only seen Dolt during morning exercises and Solice seemed to be missing in action all together. The only conclusion to draw was that he hadn't returned to the Academy.

Early in the second week, things changed. With Brice gone, Dolt seemed to have taken over the position of head asshole in the program and he turned his attention back Cloud's way. Part of it probably had to do with the fact attention was being drawn to him in general. He was still participating in everything that was required of the other cadets, but the drillers and instructors seemed to be cutting him some slack, given he was trying to fast track his recovery from a pretty severe ass-kicking. His second run-in with Dolt occurred the Friday of that second week.

He was in one of the study rooms Friday night reading the book Zack had given him for Christmas. He'd wanted someplace quiet to read and the dorms were pretty rowdy on Fridays. There were a few other cadets in the study room but they were basically silent. Cloud was mid-sentence when the book was grabbed out of his hand from behind him. He turned and looked up fast to see Dolt now holding the book.

"What the hell is this?" he questioned as he flipped the pages of the book quickly and rather carelessly. It made Cloud wince a little, knowing how fragile a few of the pages were.

"Give it back," Cloud demanded as he tried to rise to a stand. A hand from his friend, Tweed, came down on his one shoulder fast, pushing him back down. Dolt continued to flip the pages in the book and walked around slowly to where he was facing Cloud.

"Seems like a boring read," he stated. "What's this?" he asked then. He pulled something from between two pages near the end of the book. It looked to be a slightly smaller piece of paper. Cloud had no idea what it was. "Zack," Dolt said, reading off the paper. "If you've actually read this far I'm impressed...what the fuck?" the cadet continued.

Cloud realized then what the paper was. It was a note that must have been written by Zack's mentor. Did Zack know about it? No, he couldn't have. Why would he leave it in the book? Did he just forget about it?

Cloud rose then from his chair, pushing away from the hand that was still on his shoulder. "Don't read that," he ordered Dolt as he faced him.

"Why?" the cadet replied without looking away from the note.

"Because it's not for you. Give it to me," he demanded once again, stepping forward and reaching out to take the book from Dolt. The cadet just turned away from his outreached hand.

"It's not for you either. Last time I checked, your name wasn't Zack," Dolt argued. "Angeal!" he blurted then. "Angeal Hewley wrote this?" he said in shock.

Cloud's suspicion that the note had been written by Zack's mentor was confirmed.

"How the hell did you get this?" Dolt asked, turning to face him finally.

"None of your business," Cloud countered and then reached out to grab for the book and the note for Zack once again. Dolt reacted fast by lifting the book above his head. He shoved Cloud back then with one hand. "Fuck you, I'm keepin' this," Dolt announced. "You'll have to fight to get it back."

Dolt took the note from the book and folded it, placing it in his back pocket. He closed the book then and waved it at Cloud, mocking him with it. When Cloud swiped for it, Dolt tossed the book over his head to his friend standing behind Cloud. They threw it back and forth a few times, laughing and enjoying watching Cloud's worried expression as he feared the already loose binding on the book was going to come apart. He didn't jump for it. He wasn't going to make himself look like a complete idiot. He glanced at the other cadets in the room. One was watching passively while the others kept their heads down and continued doing their homework, or whatever it was they were doing.

"Was it a gift from First Class Fair?" Dolt questioned snidely. "I'm sure it doesn't mean what you hope it does. I doubt he's into guys, no matter how much of a pussy you are," he said and laughed along with his friend.

Cloud followed the book with his eyes as it travelled for the last time from Dolt to his friend. As he turned away from Dolt he spotted someone coming up behind Tweed. It was Johnny. He grabbed the back of the cadet's shirt from behind, startling him. Johnny grabbed the book out of his hands and shoved him back against the nearby wall.

"What the fuck do you want?" Dolt fired at Johnny sharply. Johnny ignored him, pushing the book into Cloud's hands and uttering a short "Come on," to him. Cloud only took a few steps toward the door before turning back. He handed the book back to Johnny without looking at him or even making sure he was actually going to take it from him and not just let it fall to the floor. He advanced on Dolt, closing the gap between them fast.

"Give me the note," he demanded firmly. They stared each other down a moment before Dolt reached into his pocket. He pulled the folded piece of paper from it and held it up in front of him. Before Cloud could take it, Dolt took the paper in both his hands and ripped it down the centre. The action made Cloud react fast. He threw his right fist into the side of Dolt's face. The fight began just like that and ended almost just as fast. Tweed grabbed onto him from behind and within a second's time he had Dolt's fist hammering into the left side of his ribcage. Clearly Dolt knew it was a weak point on him. He had been part of the reason for his broken ribs during their last fight. His ribs were healing but the hit brought fresh pain to the area that brought him back to that night at the fairgrounds.

That was the one and only hit Dolt made on him now as Johnny intercepted Dolt's fist on its way toward him. Johnny revealed some of his hidden abilities for fighting then as he held onto Dolt's fist within his own and forced it back so fast that with a hand on Dolt's shoulder he was able to throw him back and down onto the floor with barely any effort.

Cloud tore out of the grip of his friend and fell to his knees and elbows where he grabbed the letter Dolt had just shredded. Johnny grabbed the back of his shirt, pulling him up, and then pushed him toward the door.

When they were a ways down the hall Johnny, still holding onto his shirt, did something Cloud wasn't exactly expecting. He swung Cloud around into the wall next to them. He winced a little when his back made contact with the brick. Johnny reached into his back pocket and a second later was shoving Cloud's book into his chest. Cloud took hold of it slowly.

"You must be stupider than you look," Johnny commented before turning to walk away.

"You didn't have to help," Cloud spoke fast, stepping away from the wall. Johnny stopped in his tracks and looked back.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought for some reason you actually wanted to get into SOLDIER this year," he said with a questioning look.

"You know I do," Cloud replied at last.

"Then don't be a fucking idiot. At least wait until after finals to get your ass kicked again," Johnny stated and started to walk away.

"You don't think I can fight him?" Cloud questioned in annoyance as he followed after him.

"No. You can fight him. You just won't win," Johnny clarified. Cloud slowed to a stop behind him, watching him as he disappeared around the corner of the hall.

Johnny's comment annoyed him more than he wanted it to. It made him want to go after Dolt, to challenge him and prove he could win in a fight against him. But he also knew that he needed to focus on the final exams that were rapidly approaching. He couldn't afford further injury. Because of that, he made every effort to ignore Dolt, which turned out to be difficult as all hell. The harder Cloud tried not to react to him, the harder Dolt tried to annoy him.

Shove after shove, after trip, after taunt. The little bits of harassment began to drive him nuts. He couldn't take it anymore. In the locker room one morning after training, Dolt went to shove him into the lockers like usual when Cloud grabbed onto him and shoved him first, the cadet's back hitting the lockers loudly. Most of the cadets in the immediate area stopped and turned to see what had happened. Dolt seemed a little surprised at first but smiled then.

"You wanna fight me, Strife?" he asked. He shot a hand out fast to grab Cloud's shirt and Cloud knocked his hand away fast as Paul stepped in.

"Why don't you leave him alone, Curtis?! What the hell did he ever do to you?" Paul questioned heatedly.

Dolt's dorm officer appeared then. "Hey!" he shouted and the cadets looked his way. "Get your asses ready for classes, quit fuckin' around," he ordered. Dolt backed off and headed for the other side of the locker room where his own locker was.

Cloud turned to his own locker, throwing his water bottle into it angrily.

"Is that guy for real? Is he not one of the guys who attacked you last month? You'd think he'd be scared shitless to go after you aga—"

"Shut up, Paul," Cloud snapped without really meaning to. "Please," he added. He didn't want to think about it anymore and he certainly didn't want to hear anyone say anything about it.

Dolt did nothing for the next two days. It was as if he was saving up for a big hit. It came that Friday morning while they were on the field for their usual workout. The drillers had decided they should play a game of _Tactics_. It seemed to be going rougher than usual. More guys hitting each other on account of having the snow as a partial padding over the ground. That's why it didn't seem all that out of the ordinary when Dolt dove into Cloud. Of course he'd been gunning for him.

Cloud gave a short yell as Dolt drove into his left side and sent him to the ground. He gripped his side as he hovered over the ground on his hands and knees. Dolt spoke down to him as he got to his feet. "Can't handle the game then get the fuck off the field, bitch!" he said before stepping over Cloud, pausing to press his foot down on the left side of his back, sending him onto his stomach on the ground.

Cloud looked up fast as Dolt began to walk away. Despite the pain, he pushed himself up and propelled himself forward, grabbing onto Dolt's legs and pulling him to the ground. He pinned Dolt face-down on the ground, with his knee in the middle of Dolt's back. With one arm across the back of his neck and another on the back of his head, he pressed the side of Dolt's face into the dirt and snow.

"Leave me alone, Curtis, I mean it!" Cloud shouted down to him.

"Fuck you, Strife! I'm gonna fucking _kill _you!" Dolt yelled angrily as he struggled hard under Cloud's weight. "Let me the fuck up now!" he demanded. Some of the cadets nearby were laughing at him.

"Strife!" one of the drillers called to him. "Let him up!" the driller demanded as he was nearby.

Giving a final push against the back of Dolt's head, he began to release his weight from him. As soon as he did so, Dolt twisted his body around threw his elbow into the side of Cloud's mouth, followed up by throwing some of the dirty snow toward his face. Cloud was already turning away from it as it was thrown so none of it really caught him in the eyes.

"Dolt!" the driller shouted from close by.

Dolt grabbed onto Cloud's shirt but never got a chance to lay another hit as the driller got hold of him first, dragging him back. Cloud's dorm officer, Tanner, was close behind and grabbed hold of him, though he wasn't planning on attempting to lunge at Dolt or anything at that point. Dolt, on the other hand looked ready to jump him if he had the chance. Cloud knew his anger was being fueled partly by the fact he'd just been embarrassed in front of the other cadets.

"Do you ladies need to go to the Disciplinary Board?!" the driller nearly screamed. At that, Dolt finally began to calm. Cloud realized then that he was bleeding as his mouth was filling with the taste of it and some of it was starting to run down his chin from his split lower lip. He wiped it away with his hand and spit some of his bloody saliva onto the ground. He couldn't help but think about how great it would be to spit it into Dolt's face.

"Strife, go clean yourself up," the driller ordered. "The rest of you, lets wrap this up and do our finishing exercises!" he called out to the collective then turned to address Dolt. "That includes you."

Cloud tore his eyes away from Dolt and began heading back to the training facility. In the bathroom just off the locker room, he washed his face of dirt and blood and then pulled his lower lip down slightly to look at the damage. It wasn't too bad. His left side hurt a hell of a lot more. He was afraid that last hit Dolt had made on him may have busted something again. He set aside his worries for the time being to get ready for class. He wanted to be out of the locker room before the other cadets showed up.

He stayed away from the dorm the rest of the day. He didn't want to hear anything from Paul, Lou, or any of the other cadets about the scuffle he had with Dolt that morning. By the time classes were finished, the left side of his ribcage was thoroughly protesting further movement. He thought about going back to his bunk to lie down for awhile but he was afraid he may not be able to get back up for dinner. He headed to the main building instead.

The night Dolt had found the note written by Angeal, Cloud had taped the note back together and had intended to give it to Zack that night. He'd gone up to the main building where he'd found out Zack was away doing some fieldwork. He thought about slipping the note under the door of Zack's room but decided against it as Zack would probably want to know where the note came from. He had read the note while taping it together. He hadn't really meant to but it was hard not to. He'd checked every day to see if Zack was back so he could give him the note but it had been close to a week with no luck.

While Cloud was on his way over to the main building to check for the sixth time that week, Johnny was in the dorm, grabbing some books from his dresser to take back to the library when something white caught his eye on Cloud's bunk. As he approached it he could see it was a piece of folded paper. He picked it up slowly and unfolded it. The words on it read 'You want to be left alone? Let's settle things one on one. Be at the back of the T5 building at 7 or I'll _really_ make your life hell'. There was no name on it but he had a pretty good idea who had left the note behind. Exhaling heavily, he took the note and shoved it under his mattress before heading back out.

Back in the main building, Cloud had been surprised to find out from Reception that Zack had returned from his fieldwork. He made his way up to his room and could see his door was open half-way. He knocked on the door lightly and Zack called out from somewhere to come in. When he pushed the door open, he didn't immediately see Zack because he was in the bathroom to the right. The door was open so Cloud could see him. He turned to look back and smiled, a toothbrush in his mouth. He brushed a moment more before spitting and rinsing.

"Hey, buddy," he called back before leaving the bathroom. "Long time, no see."

"Yes, sir," Cloud agreed. "You must be busy."

"Yeah, and it's great!" Zack replied as he took a seat on his bed. "Sit down," he offered as he motioned to the end of the bed. "Stay awhile. What happened to your lip?" he inquired.

"Accident on the field during _Tactics_," Cloud replied as he contemplated if he wanted to attempt to sit down. Sitting wasn't the most comfortable position for him right now. He took a few steps toward the bed and started to sit himself down slowly. He couldn't keep his face from registering some of the pain from the motion.

"Ribs still giving you a hard time?" Zack asked and Cloud nodded.

"A bit, sir," he agreed, though trying to downplay it.

"A bit? Buddy, you can barely breathe. That's not good. Come on, let me see," he said as he stood and moved in front of Cloud.

"Uh…They're fine. And I have the wrap on," Cloud began to refuse.

"So, take it off," Zack ordered. Cloud's eyes shifted to the open door and Zack followed his line of sight. He scoffed and reached out a hand to grab the edge of the door, pushing it shut. "There."

Sighing inwardly, Cloud reached under his shirt and began to undo the bandaging that was wrapped around his torso to stabilize his ribs while they healed. When he'd loosened it enough that it slid to his waist, he lifted his shirt at the side for Zack to see. He was well aware already of the dark bruising.

"Geeze, buddy, what the hell happened? I thought you were healing," Zack said in shock.

"It was just…during _Tactics_. It doesn't hurt that bad," Cloud lied.

Zack seemed to be thinking. "Come on," he said at last. "You gotta go down to the infirmary."

"What?" Cloud said fast, his stomach plummeting. "Sir, it's fine, it's just—" He stopped talking when Zack just shook his head. "I don't want to go back there," he said dejectedly then.

"I know, kid, everyone hates the infirmary. And I swear I wouldn't make you go if I didn't think it could be something serious. If your ribs are broken again then they need to be looked at by a doctor. You don't want them splintering further and puncturing an organ. Plus, they'd look weird if they healed on their own," Zack explained. "Come on," he urged, grasping onto Clouds upper arm lightly and helping him come to a stand.

When they got down to the infirmary, Cloud had to wait for the doctor to see him.

"Dolt and Solice aren't giving you any trouble are they?" Zack asked from where he was standing in the exam room near the window.

"I haven't seen Solice since the cadets all came back," Cloud replied, not really answering Zack's question.

"Dolt?"

"He's around," Cloud admitted. Zack turned back to look at him.

"Is he staying away from you?" he questioned.

"Yeah," Cloud said softly without looking at him.

"Hmm?" Zack hummed as he stepped closer. He looked at Cloud until the cadet met his eyes. "Was he the one who hit you in the face during _Tactics_?" When Cloud said nothing he went on. "Lemme guess, he tackled you, that how you hurt your side again."

"It was just game stuff, sir. You know it can be rough," Cloud rationalized.

"That doesn't matter," Zack said fast. "He shouldn't be touching you," he said a little angrily before turning toward the window again.

"Sir," Cloud brought his attention back. He reached into his pocket where he'd been keeping the note that was in the book Zack gave him. He unfolded it and handed it to Zack. "It was in the book you gave me." Zack took it slowly and looked at it. It had been ripped down the middle and there was tape holding it together. "Sorry about the tape. There was an accident," Cloud said.

Zack began to read the note hesitantly. His eyes had already floated to the bottom of the page and he'd seen it was written by Angeal.

"It was in the book?" he asked without looking up.

"Yeah," Cloud confirmed. "Near the end."

There was a long, heavy silence before Zack said anything else.

"I can't believe it," he uttered lowly, shaking his head. "I should have finished the book."

"I don't think it mattered to him, sir," Cloud spoke up after a moment of silence. "It sounded like what he was saying was that you had the wisdom of the book already, and that he was proud of you." Zack glanced at him briefly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to read it, it was just when I was taping it I—"

"No…it's okay," Zack said. He stared at the page a moment more before his cell phone started to ring. He picked up after a few rings. "Yeah," he said into the receiver. "On my way." He slid his phone back into his pocket and folded the note in his hand. "I gotta go," he said as he headed for the door. He turned back before leaving. "Thanks, Cloud," he said with a forced smile. "Let me know if Dolt's giving you any problems," he added. Cloud nodded and watched him disappear out of the room, leaving him to wait for the doctor.

It was another twenty minutes before Cloud's side was x-rayed and he had to wait again to get the results. He filled out his injury paperwork while waiting. Finally the doctor came in to talk to him.

"Well they haven't been re-broken," the doctor announced as he read the results of Cloud's x-rays to him. "When we repaired your ribs the first time we enforced them with metal wiring, as we do with all initiates and SOLDIERs faced with training while they're recovering. There is some significant bruising, however. I know it's probably impossible for you to restrict your movement given the demands of your program but if you take too many direct hits to the affected area it's going to slow the healing process. And though the ribs _are _reinforced, they _will _break with enough force. Understand?"

"Yes, sir," Cloud said, nodding.

"I can give you something for the pain but as I understand it you will be undergoing drug testing before your final exams so you will need to refrain from taking them at least seventy-two hours in advance," the doctor further explained.

"Thank you, sir," Cloud replied gratefully. He was looking forward to a little extra pain relief.

"You're welcome. Make sure you're keeping your ribs bandaged while you're training," the doctor said as he was writing some things down on a clipboard. "You can pick up your prescription at the desk out here in the hall," he added and handed Cloud a piece of paper with scribbled writing on it. He watched the doctor head away down the hall before making his way over to the desk.

After picking up his prescription, he headed to the cafeteria for some dinner before settling into the dorm to do homework. Paul was in the cafeteria when he got there. He hesitated on going over to where he was sitting but inevitably did so.

"Hey," Paul said when he sat down. "Where you been?" he asked.

"Infirmary," Cloud responded flatly.

"'Cause of what happened this morning?"

Cloud exhaled in a short huff. "Yeah," he admitted. He really didn't want to talk about it. Paul probably picked that up which is why he didn't say anything else about it.

When seven o'clock rolled around, Johnny was already waiting behind the T5 building, an old building attached to the training facility that was used more for storage now than anything else. He was leaning against the wall of the building, smoking a cigarette as he waited. A few minutes before 7, he could hear approaching footsteps. Two guys came around the corner, one of which was Dolt, the other Steven Brice. They stopped when they spotted Johnny.

"So much for one on one," Johnny commented before taking another drag on his cigarette. "What are you doing here?" he added, looking at Brice.

"What the fuck are _you_ doing here?" Dolt countered. "Strife send you out here to fight for him?"

"He doesn't know. He never got your little _invitation_," Johnny said with a bit of a shrug. "What do you care anyway? Don't you just want something to try and hit?"

"He needs put in his place—" Dolt began but Brice cut him off.

"I got kicked out because of that little shit!" he said angrily. "If I can't get into SOLDIER I'm sure as hell not gonna let him."

Johnny stared back at them, taking another drag. "Sad little complex you got there, Brice."

"Fuck you, man. You wanna talk about being screwed up, how 'bout we talk about you, Six," Brice said as he stepped closer. "Or is it Brooke?" he asked rhetorically. Johnny's eyes narrowed slightly. "You think I don't know who you are? A drug-pushing whore. I got connections on the street, ya know. Crap like you and Strife don't belong in SOLDIER. So why don't you get the hell out and take Strife with you. I'm sure you could teach him a few things about bein' a bitch. He seems to take naturally to it."

Johnny took one last drag of his cigarette and threw the butt down. "Does this monologue of yours go on much longer or are you ready to fuckin' fight?" he asked.

Dolt and Brice looked at one another briefly before advancing on Johnny.

Back in the dorm Cloud and Paul had been working on some of their assignments, having finished one and moving on to a particularly tough math assignment. They had been forced to learn mathematics more advanced than what they'd be learning in a basic school system. Advanced was one way of putting it. Hard as hell was another. Cloud hadn't thought the assignment would be too bad until he started to look over it. He was happy that Paul was there to work through it with. But as they were starting, Paul realized his calculator was missing.

"Where the hell is it?" he asked aloud in frustration as he pushed some stuff around in his top drawer.

"You can use mine," Cloud offered, holding it out.

"Yeah…thanks…but I kind of want to know what happened to mine. I bet Johnny took it again, the jerk." Paul began searching his bunk, running his hands under his pillow and lifting the sheets. "Where the hell is he anyway? He didn't get more probation already did he?"

"I dunno, haven't seen him since this morning," Cloud said without looking up.

"Hmph, no cigarettes under here. You think he quit?" Paul questioned as he was searching under the mattress.

"Not a chance," Cloud said with a light scoff.

Paul drew his attention then when he uttered a confused, "What the hell?"

Cloud looked at him to see him holding a piece of paper. "What is it?" he asked.

"What time is it?" Paul questioned without answering him.

"Uh…about twenty after seven. Why?"

"Oh man…" Paul groaned in dread. "We gotta go to the Tee-5 building," he announced and passed the paper to Cloud while he got his boots on. Cloud read the words on the paper and his stomach sank. He was instantly confused. When he read it, he felt like it was meant for him. But it had been in Johnny's bunk. It didn't make sense but he didn't have time to think about it as Paul got his boots tied up and told him to follow him. They made their way as quick as they could to the T5 building, all the while Cloud was hoping that when they got there that they wouldn't find Johnny. That the cadet would have just ignored the note. His hopes were dashed as they neared T5.

They could hear the fight before they saw it. Flesh hammering flesh. Both Cloud and Paul halted in their tracks as they rounded the corner. Dolt was down on the ground, seemingly unconscious, his face bloody and barely recognizable. But Johnny's fist was currently connecting with someone else's face. Whoever it was, he looked worse than Dolt. But he was conscious. He was trying to block some of Johnny's hits.

Though Johnny wasn't in anywhere near as rough a shape, he was still bleeding from contusions in his face and his skin was bruising and swelling. The fight must have been going on for awhile. Dolt and the mystery guy Johnny had pinned down had clearly been defeated, but it wasn't slowing Johnny down any. Both Cloud and Paul called out to him to stop as they moved forward once again. Paul reached him first and grabbed hold of him, keeping him from delivering another blow to the guy below him. Cloud thought he saw a knife lying in the snow near the guy. For a moment, Cloud thought he recognized him. He swore it was Brice, but it was so difficult to make out his facial features under all the blood.

Cloud turned away from him to help Paul pull Johnny back. He struggled against them as they tried to get him as far away as possible.

Some of the other cadets must have heard them shouting to Johnny when they'd approached him and had come into the area. There was no way Johnny was getting away with this. Cloud glanced back to see the mystery guy on his hands and knees and unbelievably was pulling himself to a stand. Some of the approaching cadets reached Dolt, stopping next to him and looking at Johnny.

Cloud and Paul had gotten him over to the wall of the T5 building about twenty feet away where his anger began to dissipate fast. Cloud let go of him then and took a step back. Paul followed shortly, though he looked ready to grab onto him again if necessary. Johnny leaned back against the wall then, breathing hard. Cloud noticed his right hand. It was still closed in a fist, his knuckles split and bleeding. Cloud noticed after another moment that he wasn't purposely holding it closed. The obvious explanation was that it was injured or broken. He and Paul could see that beyond the obvious cuts he had on his face, he was bleeding from a shallow wound on his torso. His sweater had been sliced and there was blood staining the area. Cloud thought of the knife he thought he saw. When he turned back again to see what was going on behind them, the mystery guy was gone. Dolt was still unconscious on the ground.

When he turned his attention back to Johnny, he watched as the cadet made an attempt at opening his right hand with the aid of his left, prying his fingers from his palm with a sickening cracking sound. He groaned aloud from the pain. "You're an idiot, Johnny!" Paul said then, watching as his bunkmate slid down the wall at his back, lowering himself to the grass. "You're gonna get kicked out of the Academy, you're probably gonna go to jail!" Paul added.

Cloud could tell Johnny wasn't listening. Going into shock was more like it. He was probably more injured than he was letting on. There was a small crowd around Dolt now. They alternately looked from him to Johnny.

It wasn't long before officers arrived and of course, as luck would have it, one of them was Dolt's dorm officer. The one stayed with Dolt while the dorm officer approached Johnny.

"Oh man..." Paul spoke aloud in dread. Johnny didn't even bother to look up when the officer stopped in front of him.

"Do I need to bother asking who started this?" the officer questioned. Johnny said nothing.

"You don't know that it was Johnny, sir," Paul piped up in defence of his bunkmate.

"Was I talking to you, cadet?" the officer questioned. Johnny spit out a good amount of bloody saliva he must have had gathering in his mouth. It splattered against the snow next to him. He was trembling as his adrenaline was depleting.

"I'm talking to you, Cadet Six!" the officer shouted then. Cloud couldn't help but jump a little.

Johnny nodded slowly. "I did," he muttered quietly, barely loud enough to hear. The officer leaned down to get closer to him.

"What'd you say, cadet?!" he shouted a little louder than before. When Johnny wouldn't repeat it, the officer reached down and grabbed hold of his shirt. "Get on your feet, Six!" he demanded, hauling him up. He pushed Johnny back against the brick wall roughly. "Answer me, Six!" the officer demanded.

"I started it," Johnny finally spoke, looking up at the officer. Then, with no hint of a lie in his tone at all he said "I would have finished it too if I hadn't been stopped."

Paul's mouth dropped open before he tried again to defend Johnny. "Sir, he doesn't know what he's saying—"

"Don't you talk to me unless I talk to you first, cadet!" the officer fired at Paul before pulling Johnny away from the wall and beginning to drag him away.

Cloud was the one to call out this time with a simple "Sir." He felt responsible. Like for some reason, Johnny had done this because of him. The officer ignored him, heading away with Johnny in tow.

000

Cloud didn't bother to look for Tanner. It would have made no difference. The guy didn't give a crap about the cadets. He searched for Zack instead. He lied on the phone when he called Directory and said he was one the cadets from his dorm and needed to speak with him immediately. As soon as he got Zack on the phone his words practically exploded from him as he tried to explain what had just gone on, more specifically that Johnny was going to get in major shit and he felt it was his fault. He was almost positive Brice had been the other guy Johnny had fought with behind T5. The note in Johnny's bunk had been meant for him, he was sure of it. Why would Dolt and Brice want to get into it with Johnny?

Zack told him to just stay in the dorm and he'd come talk to him when he knew more of what was going on. Johnny had been injured so he called in to the infirmary first to confirm he was there but was told no cadet by that name had been admitted. There was only one other place he would be.

He made his way down to the interrogation rooms in the main building. A light near the ceiling of the one room indicated that there was an interrogation in progress. He entered the room next to it and an officer looked at him from where he was seated at the desk setting up some recording equipment. Zack looked through the two-way mirror on the one wall that showed the interrogation room next door and could see Johnny was in there alone. He was sitting in one of the chairs on the one side of a table, his shoulders hunched over slightly as he held his right hand close to his body. Even Zack could tell from where he was standing that it was swollen and in need of medical attention. Both his hands and his face hadn't yet received attention of any sort. The blood that he'd shed was drying to his skin. As he understood it, the fight had been about forty-five minutes prior.

"Why's he still here?" Zack asked then.

"He's waiting to be questioned," the officer answered.

"First of all, this is against protocol," Zack pointed out. "Cadet Six should have been given medical aid first, _before_ being questioned. Second, why the hell hasn't he been questioned yet?"

"The officer meant to perform questioning hasn't arrived yet."

"Who's the assigned officer?" Zack inquired. The officer stumbled around his response, basically not giving one. "You know what?" Zack said then. "Doesn't even matter. This is against protocol and it's not right. He's a goddamn kid," he declared before leaving the room to head next door. He opened it and Johnny looked up from where he was sitting.

"I don't have anything to say about it," he spoke before Zack could say anything.

"Good for you. I'm not here to question you," Zack replied as he held the door open. "Let's go," he prompted.

Johnny stared back at him for a moment before sliding his chair back slightly from the table in front of him and coming to a stand. He stepped past Zack on the way out into the hall.

"Where we going?" he questioned as Zack began leading the way down the hall.

"Where you should have been taken in the first place," Zack answered.

Johnny was in the middle of being x-rayed when Dolt's dorm officer, Zertis, stormed in.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he questioned fiercely.

"Whoa, take it down a notch," Zack responded as he stood up from where he'd been seated.

"What makes you think you have the authority to impede an investigation?"

"I, as well as any sworn officer, have the authority to _impede _when a person's rights aren't being upheld," Zack replied firmly.

"What rights?" Zertis asked.

"The right to medical attention first off. The doctor said the cadet's got a couple broken fingers, a good slice to his stomach, and a concussion. He can't be questioned in those circumstances. He's not at full mental capacity."

"Oh, you wanna talk about injuries? Let's talk about Curtis Dolt, and the mega-bill the Academy's probably gonna get for all the reconstructive surgery it's gonna take to put his face back together!"

"He had it coming," Zack couldn't help but point out. "He and his buddies nearly killed Cadet Strife. You know that."

"No. I don't. Because it was never proven. And what does it matter? Does that make it right then, that he should receive a payback like that?"

"You know what I see?" Zack asked. "I see a cocky son a bitch who couldn't just quit while he was ahead. He had to push his luck by continuing to harass Cadet Strife. And now, because Cadet Six decides to put him in his place, you're gonna throw a hissy fit about it?"

The officer stepped closer to Zack. "Six admitted to intending to _kill_ Curtis Dolt."

"Were those his exact words?"

"I know what he meant."

"That's not admissible."

"Fuck you, Fair," Zertis said angrily. "And your skewed moral compass. You're goddamn lucky that fucking mentor of yours went nuts or else you'd still be a second class officer, down with the rest of us and you sure as hell wouldn't be asserting your _fake _first class authority all over the place."

"Don't," Zack warned.

"Angeal was a traitor to SOLDIER and you're nicely gonna follow in his footsteps."

In his mind, Zack imagined grabbing hold of the officer and laying a hit on him. But he didn't. Instead he said between clenched teeth "If you wanna keep your own damn rank you better turn around and get the hell out of here right now."

After a moment, the officer did as he was told, storming out of the area in more of a rage than when he came in.

Cloud and Paul heard nothing about Johnny until the next day. Both had been called to the Disciplinary Committee for questioning regarding the incident involving Dolt and the mystery person who'd been on the campus. Paul must have run into Johnny because he came back to the dorm later with some news.

"Johnny's out," he announced as he sank down onto his bunk. Both Cloud and Lou looked his way.

"Out?" Lou echoed. They'd all known it was coming but it was still pretty shocking to hear.

"Yeah. He's with Admissions right now, signing some stuff. Then he's coming here to get his things," Paul explained.

"He has to leave tonight?" Lou questioned.

"Yeah. The Academy offered to pay for one night at a motel but he turned it down."

"Dolt's not pressing charges?" Cloud asked, a little surprised.

Paul shrugged. "Guess not. Maybe he's accepted it as retribution, for...ya know…"

_For what I went through,_ Cloud thought.

"Anyway, I don't think you gotta worry about Dolt bothering you anymore. He's probably going to be recovering long past finals," Paul said as he lay down on his back on his bunk.

Johnny was brought to the dorm by Tanner later that night. He looked a little rough, but not terrible. The one side of his face was bruised pretty good and two of the fingers on his right hand were splinted and taped. Just his ring and pinky fingers. Both his hands were bandaged around his knuckles. He didn't say anything when he approached and began clearing out his drawers.

"Where are you gonna go?" Paul asked.

"Don't know yet," Johnny replied with a slight shrug.

"Why, man?" Paul inquired then as he watched Johnny shove what little he owned into the same garbage bag he'd arrived with months earlier. "Why not just challenge him extra-curricularly?"

"I wanted a _real _fight," his bunkmate answered. Cloud easily recalled the explanation Johnny had given a while back of what he considered a 'real' fight. One on one. No spectators or time limits. Just two people, unhindered. But that wasn't his real reason.

There was silence then as they all watched Johnny finish up getting his stuff together. He opened an old wallet and pulled something from one of the sleeves inside. It was revealed as the earring he'd been forced to remove at the beginning of the term. Or rather, the earring Officer Sigg had ripped from his ear. It took a bit of effort for him to work the small loop back through his earlobe. There was only a tiny hole where the skin had not healed over. Shoving his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans, he pushed the top drawer on the dresser in front of him closed, before moving to pass Paul.

Paul stepped in front of him, stopping him. "It was great having you here, Johnny," he said as he held out his hand to his now former bunkmate. Johnny took his hand and as he did so Paul pulled him forward for a quick hug. "We'll miss you here," Paul added.

"No you won't," Johnny countered. He smiled lightly.

"Later, Six," Lou said as he jumped down from his bunk. "Try to stay out of trouble, eh?" he added.

"Sure, Lou. If you try to stay out of the food," Johnny replied.

"Fuck you," Lou said lightly.

Johnny looked down at Cloud then. "See ya, Strife," he said with a curt nod.

Cloud barely managed to speak in return, uttering a quiet "See ya, Johnny" before rising from his bunk to stand with Paul and Lou as they watched Johnny make his way down the center aisle of the dorm towards the doors. As he reached the hall, something inside Cloud made him go after him. He had to hear the truth from him.

"It was for me wasn't it?" he called just before he reached him in the hall. Johnny stopped and turned back to face him. "The note. Dolt left it for me," he clarified, though Johnny already knew what he was talking about.

Johnny shrugged and admitted it with a simple "Yeah."

"Then why? Why'd you do it?" Cloud asked, shaking his head, trying to understand.

"Because he wasn't gonna leave you alone and you wouldn't have turned down the fight," Johnny explained.

"So what?" Cloud challenged. "You forfeited your enrolment because of _that_?"

"You want this, Strife," he stated. "Me? I never did."

Cloud wanted to respond, but as he opened his mouth, no words came out.

Johnny readjusted his hold on the bag he held over his shoulder and turned.

"Good luck, Strife," he called over his shoulder as he headed away. Cloud watched him as he reached the end of the hall and disappeared around the corner without one glance back.


	24. Chapter 23

_Thanks for all your reviews on the last chapter, everyone! Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII._

Chapter 23

"That exam was horrible," Paul said as he threw himself down on his bunk. It was the second day of the semester's final exams. Only the written exams had started. Practical were at the end of the week.

"Yeah," Cloud agreed as he tried not to think about the math exam that had probably just kicked his ass. He stood by his dresser, ready to retrieve his study notes for the next test. He couldn't help but let his eyes wander up to the empty mattress above Paul. Paul followed his line of sight and looked upwards.

"Johhny woulda killed that exam, eh?" Paul said and Cloud just looked away. "Damn genius," Paul muttered. There was silence a moment before he added "I hope he made out alright..."

Cloud just sighed dejectedly and gave another quiet "Yeah."

He hadn't really gotten over the fact that he was partly to blame for Johnny getting kicked out of the Academy. For awhile he considered himself wholly to blame, but he now accepted that he had had no control over Johnny's actions. Mostly, he hated himself for the fact that he came across as so weak that he required people to fight his battles for him. He would prove himself in time. Even if it killed him.

More frustrating than the fact Johnny had been kicked out, was the fact that no one seemed to care that one of the people he'd fought had most likely been Brice. While Cloud firmly asserted he'd seen him, Johnny had said nothing to confirm Brice was the mystery guy on campus that day. Not that it would have really made a difference, not in terms of whether Johnny would be getting kicked out or not, anyway. But it mattered to Cloud. He was sure he'd seen a knife lying in the snow the day of the fight, and in pairing that with Brice's presence, what was he to conclude but that the former cadet meant to seriously injure him, or kill him even?

He had his doubts that he would have fared as well as Johnny against Brice and Dolt together. That thought, alone, depressed him.

He tried to keep himself focused on the exams. He did alright on his written exams the next few days, but was counting on the practical to really get him into the second term. When exams were over, he was left with the others to wonder about his fate for another two days. He could only wait.

000

Zack whistled as he was heading down to the Academy admissions office to drop off one of his dorm reports. He had to submit a report every month on how his cadets were making out. The cadets had just finished their exams that week. He entered the office and smiled at the receptionist as he passed by her. She was new. And cute. He suspected she thought as much of him by the way she blushed and smiled back.

He knocked on the door of the admissions officer he was assigned to give his reports to. Officer Peak. He pushed the door open when he heard a muffled 'Come in.'

Peak was turned away from the door and his desk, shuffling through some paper on a table against the far wall. He looked over his shoulder briefly.

"Hey, Zack," he greeted somewhat dully.

"Hey, how's it going?" Zack replied cheerfully.

"Eh…it's goin'. Things are always busy this time of year," Peak claimed.

"As opposed to the rest of the year?" Zack countered and Peak snorted.

"You have a point," he admitted. "You got something for me?" he asked then.

"Yep, dorm report," Zack answered, holding the folder up in his hand.

"Uh, just put it on the desk," Peak said without looking back.

Zack took a step forward and placed the folder on the desk. A few inches away, another folder caught his eye. "No way," he said fast. "Is this a new SOLDIER recruit list?" Zack questioned as he picked up the folder from the desk. He didn't dare open it though.

Peak looked over and nodded. "Basically," he confirmed. "Have a look if you want," he offered. Zack jumped at the opportunity. He opened the folder and began skimming the names on the papers inside. Something immediately struck him as odd.

"These are Cadet Initiates," he stated in semi-confusion.

"Yes," Peak said without looking up.

"But they're only just finishing their first semester final exams, how could you have a list for SOLDIER recruitment?" Zack asked, still not understanding.

"Those are pre-selections. Provided those cadets pass their examinations and then do well in the second semester of the cadet program they'll be offered enrolment into the SOLDIER program," the officer explained.

"So...these cadets are pre-selected. What does that mean for the others?" Zack inquired.

"What do you mean?" Peak asked, looking up.

Zack clarified. "Well the others still have a chance at getting in, right?"

Peak appeared to be thinking. "It's possible," he admitted then shook his head casually. "But doubtful," he added.

Zack looked back at him in shock. "So the others are just...wasting their time?" he asked sharply as he felt himself getting angry suddenly.

Peak sighed. "This is how the selection process works, Zack. It's the way it's been for some time. It's not a waste of time. Like I said, it's _possible_ some spots may be open for a few extra recruits. That and the Turks will be given a chance to decide if they would like to take on some new apprentices. If nothing else, they'll be offered recruitment by the militia at the end of the year I'm sure."

"Militia?" Zack repeated fast. He shook his head. "Was I pre-selected for SOLDER?" he inquired next.

"Of course," Peak confirmed.

Somehow that answer made Zack feel worse. "Based on what criteria?"

"Physical and mental capabilities. Social and psychological stability. Potential," the officer rhymed off.

"But..." Zack began to counter, looking down once more at the list he held in his hands.

"Zack, the company knows what it's doing and they know who they want to work for them. You have to trust their judgement," Peak said.

Zack was barely listening. He was scanning over the names on the paper in front of him. Several cadets from his dorm were on there and, strangely, so was Johnny Six.

"Cadet Six is going to be offered enrolment?" he asked.

"He would have been, had he not been expelled from the cadet program," Peak explained.

Zack moved his eyes down the 'S' section of the list. _Sk, Sl, Sm..._it went on until _St_. No _Strife_.

"Oh god," he muttered barely audibly. Cloud wasn't getting in. "When was this list compiled?" he asked.

"Uh...just after the midterms I believe," Peak revealed.

"What?" Zack blurted. "That long ago?"

He felt sick then as he thought about the fact that it was already determined Cloud wouldn't be offered enrolment that long ago, back before he'd really been faced with problems with the other cadets. Before he'd been beaten within an inch of his life at the fairgrounds in December. He could have been spared so much pain and abuse.

"I don't believe this," Zack muttered. He leaned on the desk heavily, considering sitting down. "Why even bother with exams? Why not let the cadets continue on to the end of the year."

"Resources are tight. The company can't afford to train those they think won't succeed," Peak explained. He reached to take the folder from between Zack's hands on the desk. Zack watched as he closed it slowly. "It's just the way things are, Zack. It's not personal," the officer contended.

Zack stood straight once again. "No," he agreed bitterly. "It's not personal. Not for you anyway," he clarified before leaving the office.

Knowing what he knew now, Zack wasn't surprised when the results came in on the exams and Cloud wasn't passed into the second semester. Part of him had still hoped he'd make it and at least would have the chance to continue training. But it didn't happen. He knew how the procedure went for delivering the news to the cadets on whether they'd passed or failed the semester. Envelopes would be handed out in the dorms. It was nothing close to ideal. Everyone would know if you'd failed.

He had wanted to get to Cloud first, to at least be there when the envelopes were handed out and perhaps even convince him to go someplace else before tearing into it. But as fate would have it, he was stuck in a boardroom at the time. He wouldn't make it down to the dorms in time.

The envelopes were passed to the cadets in their dorms the Monday following the end of exams. Inside the envelopes were the letters that presented them with a congratulations in making it to the next step of the cadet program, or a rejection that would send them out of the Academy immediately.

Cloud had waited patiently at his bunk, trying not to let himself get too nervous. He was sure he passed. He had to have. He hadn't received any negative comments on his practical exams and he was positive he'd done well enough on his written tests to ensure his continued enrolment in the program.

Still, when an envelope with his name on it was passed to him he couldn't help but feel as though a thousand butterflies were swarming his stomach. Lou was standing next to him. He ripped his envelope open fast. Paul was doing the same, though a little more tentatively. Cloud watched a brief moment before opening his own slowly. Lou let out an elated cry, indicating he must have passed. The dorm quickly filled with the mixed sounds of excitement, relief, and disappointment.

Cloud stopped listening to the sounds when he unfolded the letter he'd pulled from his envelope and looked down.

_Cadet Initiate Strife, we regret to inform you..._

That's all he needed to see to know what the rest of the letter said. He stopped breathing and just stared at the same two words over and over "we regret."

"Cloud we're still in!" he thought he heard Paul say, but by then the blood was pounding in his ears. "You're in, right?" Paul asked then as he moved next to him.

Cloud took a breath. He thought he was going to choke on his words the moment he tried to speak but his voice was surprisingly even as he said a simple "No. I'm not."

Paul looked at him in shock before laughing a little. "You're kidding," he said, smiling. Cloud looked at him and shook his head slowly.

"What?" Paul said, his face growing serious again. "What?" he repeated and grabbed the paper from Cloud's hands.

"Cadet Initiate Strife, we regret to inform you that we must terminate your enrolment...in the Shinra SOLDIER Cadet Initiate Program..." Paul read. He looked up then. "Oh my God," he uttered softly. Lou was listening and watching, but he didn't say anything. "It's gotta be a mistake," Paul spoke hopefully. He turned the paper over in his hands as if he was expecting something to be written on the back proclaiming the words on the front false.

"It's not," Cloud uttered softly. He was feeling it now. The panic rising up within him. His emotions pushing themselves up like a tidal wave, ready to spill out violently. He felt sick, hot, upset. All he could hear over and over in his head was his own voice pleading to know what he'd done wrong. How he had failed. He didn't say anything else before turning and heading away quickly. If Paul or Lou called after him, he wouldn't have known it. He couldn't hear anything outside of himself at that point. He pushed past some excited cadets who'd obviously passed their way into second term. Out in the hall he broke into a run. A flat-out run. There was no running in the halls but at that moment he didn't care about anything. The rules made no difference then.

He ran out to the training facilities and shoved his way out one of the exits into the chilly morning air. He kept going until he was at the far end of the field, past the running track. There he stopped dead, breathing hard. He wanted to scream out loud. At the top of his lungs, but he didn't. He put his hands to his face and screamed into them instead before falling to his knees and finally letting himself sob. He was feeling so much it hurt. He was disappointed, angry, sad, scared, pissed at himself for what he was doing now, kneeling in the slushy snow below himself, crying like a baby.

He'd failed. He'd actually failed. He hadn't even lasted one whole year at the Academy. He'd hit a brick wall that he hadn't allowed himself to believe he would run into. There was no plan beyond the Academy. He didn't want an alternate plan. How was he supposed to show his face in Nibelheim now? He couldn't go back there. He couldn't handle the shame. But where was he going to go?

He picked himself up off the ground slowly, not bothering to wipe his pants of the snow and slush and dirt. He walked over to the bleachers by the running track and sat down. He stared out at the field, taking in some shaky breaths.

No doubt he was supposed to leave the Academy by the evening. That's what they'd all been told when waiting for the results. If they should receive a letter that they had failed the term they were expected to pack their things and leave almost immediately. The Academy would pay for one night at a hotel. He felt sick as he thought about it.

He didn't move from where he sat. Didn't go back to the dorm to pack. He just sat there, hoping the February air would eventually numb him.

Zack had come down to the dorm almost an hour after the letters were passed out. He wasn't sure if he'd find Cloud in the dorm or not. He suspected he probably wouldn't. He just hoped he hadn't missed him completely. He knew there was the possibility Cloud had already left the Academy.

He could see when he entered Cloud's dorm that he was not at his bunk. He approached anyway, seeing that Paul was there. Paul stood up from his bunk when he noticed him headed his way.

"Where's Cloud?" Zack asked immediately. He looked at Cloud's bunk and his set of drawers, taking note of the fact that some of his things were visible. Inwardly, he sighed in relief.

"I-I don't know, sir," Paul stumbled to respond. "He left the dorm awhile ago. I didn't know if I should go after him. He didn't pass, sir," he added.

"Yeah," Zack said softly. "I know. I'm gonna go look for him," he announced before turning to leave.

"I'll come with you, sir!" Paul said fast but Zack stopped him.

"I got this," he said gently but firmly and Paul nodded.

Zack decided to start his search at the training facility. Cloud had spent a lot of time there so it may have been the first place he'd go. To Zack's disappointment, he wasn't there. He searched a few more indoor areas first before heading outside. The moment he stepped out onto the field he could see Cloud. He was alone on the bleachers next to the track. He moved toward him slowly, his hands in his pockets. It was chilly out and he didn't have a coat on. There was a heavy silence that seemed thick before him, making it that much more difficult to move. He slowed to a stop when he reached the bleachers.

"You already know," Cloud's soft voice spoke after a moment of Zack standing nearby. Though he could only see the side of the cadet's face, Zack could tell he had been crying at some point. Cloud must have made his accurate assumption about Zack knowing he'd failed from the way the officer had approached him less excitedly than usual. Zack sat himself next to him, raising one foot up on the bench below him and staring out over the frosted field, watching his breath coming out in foggy puffs.

"I'm sorry, kid," he spoke hesitantly. He knew nothing he said was going to make him feel better. Cloud stayed silent at first. He kept his gaze down, locked on his boots.

"What am I supposed to do now?" he barely squeaked out, sounding like he may break into sobs right then. Zack looked at him. He wanted to say something reassuring. He wasn't about to break the truth to Cloud. That he'd never had a chance to begin with. It was bullshit that the Academy used this so-called "pre-selection method." He believed Cloud would get into SOLDIER if he just didn't give up.

"You can always try out again. Just go home and rest for now, come back in the fall—" he began to explain, brightening his tone a little, trying to get the kid's spirits up a little.

"I can't go home," Cloud cut him off, a harshness in his tone that found Zack raising a questioning eyebrow.

"We'll figure something out, alright?" he said with a weak smile as he placed a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "I'll look out for you, I promise," he assured him as the cadet met his eyes.

As awful as Cloud felt at that moment, he couldn't help but feel comforted by Zack's statement. He wanted to believe he wasn't completely alone, stranded in Midgar because he couldn't face going home.

Zack stood up then. "Come on," he said softly. "It's cold."

Cloud stayed in place. "They're all gonna know I failed when I'm packing my stuff," he said dejectedly.

"The guys in the dorm?" Zack questioned and Cloud nodded.

"It sucks I know but…" Zack started, trying to think of the right words. "Do you really care what those assholes think right now?" he concluded.

Cloud huffed and smiled a little. "Not really," he admitted.

"Good. Let's go," he urged, holding his hand out to help Cloud up.

When Cloud took his hand and stood up, Zack pulled him forward and hugged him. It was a complete shock to Cloud. So much so that he didn't actually reciprocate. Just stood there for the brief moment until he was released again.

"It'll be alright," Zack assured him once more as they headed away from the bleachers.

Cloud wanted so much to believe that.

000

That night, Cloud walked down the halls of the Academy one last time as he headed out to the main entrance. A bus was waiting to take a group of cadets to one of the hotels nearby. His goodbyes had been quick. So quick it must have seemed to Paul and Lou that the two cadets had meant absolutely nothing to him. Lou hadn't really meant a lot to him. The larger, more blunt and opinionated cadet had defended him against bullies on a few occasions, however, and had even encouraged him once or twice. But Paul had been more of an impact in his life. He wasn't sure if he should consider him a friend. But he would have liked to. He had the feeling that now that he was leaving the Academy, he wasn't likely to see Paul again.

He sat on the bus sombrely and waited as all the cadets loaded on. He stared at all the lights on the Shinra buildings around the Academy and felt himself getting instantly more depressed. He couldn't stop thinking of his mother. Of how she would be waiting to find out how he'd done on his exams. He didn't know how to break the news to her. Of if he even wanted to. He couldn't lie, could he?

His thoughts were interrupted when the last cadet got onto the bus and the doors shut behind him. The bus was in motion then and Cloud was watching the Academy as they drove off. As the Shinra buildings disappeared from his view, all he could imagine was that the bus wasn't just driving him away from the place he wanted to be more than anywhere else, but driving him away from his dreams.

He had been mildly worried that the Academy would have arranged for cadets to share rooms at the hotel, but he found himself in a room to himself. All he did for the first few moments was stand and stare around the room. He set his stuff down slowly then and headed over to the bed, sitting himself down. It was so quiet. So not what he was used to in the dorms.

He felt his emotions rising up quicker than he thought he'd be able to control. Without bothering to change out of his clothes, or even taking off his shoes, he crawled his way up the bed and lay down. He reached over and shut the light off, blanketing himself in darkness. He wasn't hoping for sleep. He was praying for it.

It was early in the morning when he was awoken. He was surprised that he'd even been sleeping. He must have drifted off around 4:30 a.m. He looked over at the door to the room, sure he'd just heard knocking. The clock next to him read 6:13. Groaning lightly, he pulled himself off the bed and headed for the door. He looked through the peek hole in the door first and saw nothing. He unlocked the door then and pulled it open. There was no sign of anyone that could have knocked. He did notice something on the outside of the door, hanging on the handle. In big bold font were the letters _SMF_. Underneath, in smaller font was _Shinra Military Forces. _

He picked up the little hanging sign and looked at it more closely. "Join our team today and make a difference," he read aloud and laughed dryly. Near the bottom were a set of dates and a location where information sessions were being held. Conveniently it was in the nearby community hall.

"Hey!" a voice called from somewhere nearby. He looked up fast and saw a familiar person. It was Zack. He smiled and slipped the sign in his hand into his room, hanging it on the inside of the door.

"Morning, sir," Cloud greeted Zack when he finally reached the doorstep. "You just get here?" he asked. He was still sure he'd been woken by someone knocking at his door.

"Yeah, you just saw me coming across the parking lot," Zack replied with a snort. "I'm surprised you're up so early," he added.

"It's about the time I'd be up anyway, if I were still at the Academy," Cloud pointed out.

"True," Zack agreed. "Did you sleep at all?" he asked then and Cloud nodded.

"A little," he said. "You wanna..." he began to offer to let Zack in, stepping aside slightly.

"No, I'm good," Zack said, staying where he was. "I gotta get back to Shinra," he announced. He looked Cloud up and down. "It's weird seeing you out of uniform," he claimed.

Cloud looked down at himself. "Yeah, feels weird," he admitted.

"What are you going to do today?" the officer inquired next.

"Uh, look around, I guess," Cloud answered softly. "I should try to find a job."

Zack nodded. "I'll help you out," he offered.

"Thank you, sir," Cloud said but shook his head. "But I can do this myself."

"Well can I at least pay for another night here for you?" Zack questioned. Again, Cloud refused.

"That's nice of you to offer, sir, but I can handle it."

Zack smirked then. "Well, can I buy you dinner then? C'mon, I'm not taking 'no' for an answer on this one."

Cloud laughed lightly. "Uh, where?" he asked.

"There's a restaurant down the street. Four o'clock okay? It's a bit early but that's about the only time I have off for a couple hours."

"Sure," Cloud agreed.

"Great. I'll see you then. I gotta get my ass back to headquarters," Zack said as he took some steps backward. "Try to have a good day, buddy!" he called before turning and heading back across the parking lot.

000

Cloud tried. He did. He looked around for hours trying to find a job he thought he might like to do. It wasn't happening. He just couldn't picture himself working in any of those places. Even if he did get a job, there was the problem of where he'd be living. Things seemed more complicated the more he thought about it. In the back of his mind, he knew he was going to end up at the community hall. The moment he entered and set eyes on the posters that had been hung to advertise the military program, he felt a strange sense of comfort. It was subtle, but it was there. He needed that type of structure. He couldn't just go back to being an everyday citizen.

There was a presentation going on in the one corner of the large hall. He joined the crowd at the back and listened to the expected pitch. He was almost positive he was going to be signing a contract before he left. It wasn't until a recruitment officer brought him over to one of the many tables set up to let him have a look at what such a contract would look like that he got nervous and started second-guessing himself. It was the timeframe that did it.

"When you sign the contract, you're agreeing to two years of service," the recruiter said and Cloud had felt his stomach sink.

"Two years?" Cloud repeated aloud.

"Goes by in a flash," the recruiter said cheerfully. "Look at me, son," he said then and Cloud raised his eyes. "It's a perfect time to join the military forces. We're through the coldest weather of the year and as of right now, we're not engaged in any major frontline activity."

Cloud knew what that meant. It meant there were no wars going on right now that he'd have to fight in. That was certainly an upside.

"Plus, there's a steady paycheck you'll be getting," the recruiter added.

"Paycheck?" Cloud echoed.

"Uh huh," the recruiter confirmed. "We'll be paying you to have the time of your life. Could certainly help you out a bit."

"Yeah," Cloud agreed. He thought of his mother, of how the money would help her. She wouldn't have to work as much as she was now. "Okay," he said at last.

"Excellent choice!" the recruiter exclaimed happily as he took a pen from the table and clicked it, the tip emerging from its plastic casing. He held the pen out for Cloud to take. "Just sign at the bottom there, son," he directed.

Cloud took the pen hesitantly. Thoughts were racing through his head, two versions of his own

voice talking to him about the decision he was making. Still weighing the pros and cons. The recruiter was still talking though he wasn't listening. He assumed the man was still trying to sell him on the deal. Finally, he gave in and put the pen to the paper on the table in front of him. There was no other option. This was _the _option. In a few swift and somewhat shaky strokes, he put his signature on the page, giving himself over to the military for the next two years.

"You made the right decision, son!" the recruiter said happily as Cloud handed the pen back to him.

"Uh, where do I..." he began to question but the officer answered before he finished.

"You just come back here tomorrow at eight in the morning and there'll be a bus here to pick you up and bring you to the base, alright?"

Cloud nodded and made an attempt at smiling. "Yes, sir," he said in understanding. The recruiter handed him a copy of his contract before he left. He didn't really let himself think about what'd he'd done as he walked away. It would only make him feel more nervous. He went back to his hotel room instead to watch some T.V. while he waited for four o'clock to roll around.

He was the first to arrive at the restaurant a few hours later. He didn't order anything but allowed the waitress to bring him some water while he was waiting. His nervousness had really kicked in now. Not over the fact that he'd be going to the military base the next day, but because he had to tell Zack. The nervousness only grew when he spotted Zack just outside the restaurant about ten after four. He waved to him when he entered.

"Hey, buddy," Zack said cheerfully as he arrived at the table. "Sorry I'm late." He sat down across from Cloud.

"That's alright," Cloud replied quickly.

"How ya doin'?" the officer asked as he started to remove his coat.

In response, Cloud blurted out his news. "I signed a contract today with the SMF," he revealed. Zack paused as he was hanging his coat over the chair next to him. His mouth fell open slightly.

"Militia?" he questioned a little in disbelief. It wasn't something he'd have imagined coming out of Cloud's mouth. Ever. Military just didn't seem like him. Cloud nodded. "But…Cloud, the contracts run for two years at a time. Did you know that?"

"Yeah. They told me that," Cloud replied with another short nod. Zack released a bit of a dry laugh, shaking his head and leaning a little further into the table.

"I thought you wanted to come back to the Academy in September for another try at recruitment," he said in a low tone. Strangely, he felt more disappointed than he'd imagined himself being.

"Yes, sir. I do. And I will be back. When my contract is up. I just…I can't go back home. And I can't imagine myself with just a regular job out here. And…I dunno…I might actually fit in there…"

Zack raised an eyebrow. "Fit in?" he questioned with slight skepticism. "The recruitment officer you talked to. He didn't pressure you did he? You know, it's supposed to be your own decision—"

"It was," Cloud declared fast. "It's what I want. Well not what I _want_. But it's fine for now."

Zack sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. He smiled half-heartedly. "Well. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into, soon-to-be _Private _Strife. 'Cause, militia ain't like the Academy."

"Yes, sir," Cloud agreed. The waitress returned to the table then and Zack asked for just an ice water. When she departed he picked up his menu to begin looking through it. He wasn't really looking at it, however. He was still reeling over what Cloud had told him. Cloud drew his attention back with a quiet "Um."

"Hmm?" Zack hummed in question, looking up at him.

"Uh..." Cloud began again, but hesitated.

Zack laughed a little. "What is it?" he asked.

Cloud fidgeted a little with the ends of his sleeves. "I uh. Sir, I—I was wondering if...if maybe you could help me with something?"

Zack set down the menu. "Course. What do you need?" he questioned.

"I...uh, well I—I don't want anyone from home to know," he finally blurted.

Zack shook his head slowly. "To know..."

"That I'm not at the Academy anymore," Cloud clarified.

"Oh," Zack said. "Well...you know, Cloud, the people who matter, they're not going to look at you any different because you didn't make it first time around."

"You're wrong," Cloud argued. "They'll...they'll look at me like the failure I am," he claimed.

"Cloud, you're notta—" Zack began to scold him and Cloud looked away. "Look at me," Zack demanded and he complied. "You're not a failure. You just had a setback, alright?"

"I just...I don't want them to know, sir," Cloud responded quietly. He was starting to feel himself tear up. He knew in his heart his mother wouldn't be disappointed in him, but he also knew just how happy it would make her if when he came home he was a SOLDIER. She would already have that image in her head. He couldn't take that away from her.

Zack nodded then. He understood. "Well. What can I do then?" he asked.

Cloud took a breath and calmed himself once again. "My mother," he began. "And uh, this girl I went to school with. They write me letters sometimes. I'm not going to get the letters they send now if they keep sending them to the Academy. And the letters will get sent back—"

"And they'll know you're not at the Academy anymore?" Zack finished for him.

"Yeah," Cloud confirmed.

"But you can't give them the address of the base because that'll give you away as well."

Cloud nodded.

"So you want me to work something out with the mail department?" Zack asked.

"I'm sorry to ask, sir, I know it's wrong—" Cloud said fast.

Zack held a hand up to stop him. "I'll figure it out, buddy," he said softly.

Cloud nodded once more. "Thank you, sir. It means a lot to me, sir," he said sincerely.

Zack smiled. "You don't have to address me like that anymore, ya know," he said then. "I'm not you're superior officer anymore," he pointed out.

Cloud shook his head. "No," he agreed. "But SOLDIERs are still superior to military. Sir," Cloud refuted, finishing with a small smile.

000

At eight the following day, Cloud stood in the Community Hall parking lot with fourteen other ex-cadets from the Academy. He recognized a few of them but didn't speak to any of them. Some of them must have known each other as they seemed pretty friendly.

He was anxious, considering pacing just to make himself feel better. He just wanted this day over with. The first night would be the worst.

The bus showed up shortly and Cloud got on along with the other former cadets. After the first fifteen minutes on the bus, it became clear to Cloud that the base wasn't actually in the city, which made sense when he really thought about it. He could see it though for a few miles before they'd reached the gates. There wasn't much out there to obstruct the view. The bus was stopped at the gates and a soldier on guard stepped up into the vehicle.

"Hi there, gentlemen," he greeted. "I need you all to take out your identification information."

Cloud reached into his pocket for his wallet. When the officer reached him, he was still struggling to get his ID cards out of the slots that seemed to be holding onto them for dear life.

"Sorry, sir," he said, feeling his face get a little red with embarrassment. Finally the cards came loose and he handed them over.

"Cloud Strife," the officer said after looking over the cards. Cloud looked up. "Your name is Cloud?" the man questioned.

"Yes, sir," Cloud replied. He rolled his eyes mentally. He'd been getting this his whole life. Having someone question his first name wasn't an unusual thing for him. Sometimes he wanted to scream at his mother for her choice. But obviously the name had meant something to her.

The officer gave him a familiar expression. One that said "That's stupid" no matter what words actually came out his mouth. The man said nothing though. Just handed his ID back to him and moved on to the next new recruit.

Almost immediately, Cloud was missing the Academy. He was going through a type of mini culture shock. There were no tall shiny buildings here. No decorated atriums and hallways. No courtyards and gardens. No spectacular art or architecture of various colours to look at. Everything was just a flat bluish-grey. All the soldiers that passed by were dressed the same. Their colours the same as the buildings. He wasn't sure how he was going to handle this after his experience at the Academy as a cadet.

He and the others were brought to the infirmary almost immediately for complete physicals and mental assessments. They were also required to hand over all their belongings and were told they would receive them back at the end of the day before being shown to the barracks. After being given relatively clean bills of health, their fitness levels were tested before they were finally allowed to have lunch. Following that, they were brought to an assembly room to complete a written exam. As former cadet initiates of the Academy, they were given specific questions pertaining to training they would have already received. They were told that they would begin at the lowest rank of Private but had the opportunity to be promoted to first class privates sooner than those who had not had previous training, such as that which they would have been given at the Academy.

When they'd finished their exams, they were given an orientation. It wasn't much different from the one they'd been given in the cadet program. No drinking or drugs. No girls in their barracks (and while there were no girls at the Academy, the base was co-ed). No staying out past curfew. No leaving the base without a pass... and on and on. One major difference was that there would be no regular schooling. The majority of time would be devoted to training and working. But soldiers were permitted to take courses on the side, something Cloud intended to do. He felt it important he at least have a high school graduate level of education within a few years.

It was well into the evening when Cloud and the others were finished with their orientation and finally shown to their barracks. They were split into three groups and each group was brought to a different barrack by a different staff sergeant. He couldn't speak for the rest of the new recruits, but he, himself, was exhausted. As anxious as he was about the following day, he was sure he'd have no trouble sleeping. When he and the others in his group were stopped at their barrack, they could hear the sounds of the guys inside.

"They're a little rowdy tonight, it sounds like," the sergeant commented. "Go in and find yourselves some empty bunks, boys," he directed then. "Your bunkmates or someone else can show you how to make it up properly. Lights out at ten. Any questions?"

They gave a collective "No, sir."

"Good. Morning routine starts at six. Better be ready to go," the sergeant suggested.

Cloud and the others nodded in understanding before beginning to filter into the room before them. Cloud was a little hesitant on entering. It wasn't like he hadn't gone through a similar situation before. But it was different now. This wasn't the Academy. He didn't know what to expect of the other soldiers. Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself forward and entered the large room.

The first thing he noticed was how similar to the dorms at the Academy the room was. The one difference was that there were no numbers on the bunks. He wasn't sure what that meant. If it was a good thing or a bad one. He'd learn soon enough, he was sure.

A few of the former Academy cadets chose bunks that were empty on the top and bottom so that they could stick together. While a part of Cloud wanted to do that as well, he chose not to. He picked the first empty bunk he passed and put his bag down. He looked up at the bunk above him. He wasn't sure where his bunkmate was but he didn't appear to be close by. He tried not to look at any of the soldiers nearby. He didn't really feel like talking to anyone. The first thing that came out of his bag as he started unpacking was the book Zack had given him. He looked at it and sighed. Two years never seemed so far away.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a loud shout from across the room.

"I'll kill you, Six!" the voice bellowed and several people laughed before a commotion broke out.

"Six," Cloud uttered aloud, wondering if he'd heard right. He set down the book in his hand and moved toward the crowd that had formed in the centre aisle of the room near the back wall. He pushed his way toward the front, craning his neck all the while to see over the people ahead of him. When he reached the front he could see two of the guys engaged in a rough wrestling match. One guy was already pinned. Cloud wasn't looking at him. He was looking at the guy doing the pinning. It was Johnny.

"I give up, let me up!" the soldier he was holding down said in surrender. The fight appeared to have been in fun as they were both smiling. Johnny eased up and let him go before helping him up. He was oblivious to Cloud's presence. But not for long. As his eyes flitted briefly over the crowd he paused and looked at Cloud directly.

As the noisy crowd began to disperse, Cloud was just able to make out the words coming from Johnny's mouth when he said the words 'son of a bitch'.


	25. Note

Hey everyone. This will be a general message that I'm going to upload to all three of my stories so you don't have to read them all if you have all three on alert. I thought I should give a little update because it's been forever since I've submitted. I'm assuming I still have readers.

Well...basically, it's going to take me awhile longer to update. I have a lot going on...a couple jobs, school, etc. and honestly, I'm not all that motivated to write. whileI've gotten good reviews on reclamation and dreams incarnate, I'm getting a fair number of reviews that have been telling me reclamation is either 'boring', 'repetitive', 'slow', 'too AU', not written the way people like it, and so on. obviously I want honest reviews and I appreciate critical feedback but I sometimes can't help rolling my eyes over certain things, things I address in author's notes. I get the feeling a lot of people don't read the notes I leave. And therefore those people probably won't read this one so really I'm probably lecturing to all the readers who actually like my work. I would just like to say, if you do not like the AU plot of the story I'm writing, PLEASE, do not leave me messages complaining about it. I have said a few times that the story will be AU. The end. I mentioned as well that Zack and Cloud would both be in some relationships in the story, so...there's going to be relationships. Also, I've recieved a number of comments on my writing style. I promise to try and stay away from bothersome things like short, fragmented sentences and other mechanisms of emphasis but guys, my writing style is my writing style. I'm sorry if you find it annoying.

Anyway, I'm not going to go on and on. I'll just say that, I understand if you are reading the story and you like the premise but there are things that bother you that you would want to express what you don't like, and that's totally cool with me. I will try my best to please. I believe that's what most of you are doing and that's awesome. But if you seriously just hate the story then don't bother sending me messages that are essentially an all-out bashing when you can just save your breath and stop reading.

All that said, I hope I really didn't offend anyone with this message. You all should know how happy I am that you read the stuff I write, and I really do like writing it. I'm not going to leave and not finish the stories or anything. I've decided what I'm going to do is take time to write several chapters at a time and submit them at one time, that way there's less of a chance of the chapter seeming like 'nothing's going on'. And I may skip through some of the plot I had originally planned out so that there's more action.

I think that's all from me right now. For those waiting on the newer version of RtS, I have been working on it and I'll probably submit several chapters at one the same as the other stories. At least until I have more time to put out single chapters.

Take care, everyone.


	26. Chapter 24

_What? What is this? A chapter? No way! How many of you thought I'd given up on the story? Well the next chapter is here. I really don't know how to explain why it's taken so long for me to get this out. An extreme case of Writer's Block, I suppose. I can say almost without a doubt that it will not take that long for me to get the following chapters out. A quick note I want to make about this chapter is that I am in no way trying to portray an actual army setting. I don't know what being in the army is like, this is just what I think the Shinra army could be like. So, please don't tell me all the things that are inconsistent with real army structure/process/life. I am aware this is not an accurate representation. _

_To all those of you who waited and came back to read, thank you so very, very much. _

Chapter XXIV

"So you failed your exams, huh?" Johnny asked before lighting a cigarette between his lips. Unlike at SOLDIER, recruits of any age were permitted to smoke. If they could get the cigs they could smoke them and Cloud could see there was no shortage of them around the barracks. Smoking wasn't permitted in the barracks, however, but there were plenty of designated areas.

"I guess," Cloud replied lowly. He was feeling sufficiently uncomfortable. He didn't yet know what Johnny was thinking. If he'd be annoyed at the fact that his sacrifice had been for nothing. He'd basically given up his enrolment at SOLDIER so that Cloud could have his.

"You guess?" Johnny spoke in a questioning tone.

"Well I must have. I was denied continued enrolment," Cloud rationalized.

"You didn't get to see the results? Your grades?" Johnny inquired.

Cloud shook his head. "Just a letter telling me to get out," he answered dully.

There was silence a moment before Cloud spoke again. "Sorry, Johnny," he said uneasily. He was afraid to look at him but he forced himself to. Johnny was looking back at him blankly. "You shoulda just let me get my ass kicked by Brice and Dolt. That way...maybe..."

"Strife," Johnny spoke up, and Cloud paused. "Shut up," Johnny ordered. "I told you. I didn't care about my enrolment in SOLDIER. I'm not interested in being ordered around by that type of authority," he went on. He flicked some ash from his cigarette into a paper cup on a table next to him.

"But _this_ is fine?" Cloud said in return, referring to the military.

Johnny shrugged. "It's alright. A bed and food. Better than working some boring job."

Cloud smirked. "That's true," he agreed. "How'd you end up here?" he inquired after another moment.

"A bus," Johnny said and Cloud rolled his eyes.

"You're kidding," he remarked flatly. Johnny had known what he was meaning so he elaborated.

"A recruiter," he revealed. "Same as you, right?"

Cloud nodded. "Did you get an info sheet at one of the motels near the Academy?"

Johnny looked at him a little oddly. He smiled a little in what seemed to be amusement. "Nope," he replied at last. Cloud shook his head, waiting for Johnny to explain. "There was a recruiter waiting to talk to me before I'd even made it out the door of the Academy. Guess they have hook-ups in SOLDIER. They must be pretty desperate for us guys with some SOLDIER training, however minimal."

"Weird," Cloud muttered, not really sure what else to say.

"Not really. They probably figure we'll be of good use when it comes to fighting front-line," Johnny countered.

"But the military's not engaged in anything serious right now," Cloud pointed out. It was a naive thing to say and he knew it. A war could start at any time. Johnny gave him a look that said what he was already thinking.

"Keep dreaming, Strife," he said as he stood straight and pushed away from the wall. "We'll be in Wutai in less than a year," he stated surely before taking one last drag and putting his cigarette out in a nearby receptacle. Cloud watched as he left the room without another word. For a moment, Cloud regretted his decision, yet again, to join the militia. The thought of standing on the front lines of a renewed battle against aggressors in Wutai, or anywhere for that matter, almost had him trembling. He had to remind himself that if he made it into SOLDIER eventually that he could find himself in the same position. It didn't comfort him much. He assumed for some reason that he'd be more ready to fight as a SOLDIER. Who's to say he'd ever feel ready?

He waited another few minutes before heading back to the barrack, where he did a two-second unpack that consisted of shoving his duffle into his locker. He was lying in bed before the lights went out. When the sergeant in charge of the barrack yelled out a warning to everyone to settle down and get into their bunks, his bunkmate finally arrived. Cloud was turned away in the opposite direction so he couldn't see him but he felt the bunk move as whoever it was climbed up to the top. He thought of Lou then. He couldn't imagine anyone else up there when he woke up in the morning. He wasn't sure he would be able to sleep that night but it was surprisingly easy to fall asleep given how exhausted he felt. It had been a weird few days.

Hours later, he woke to the feeling of the bunk moving and opened his eyes to see who he assumed was his bunkmate heading away somewhere, maybe the bathroom. The first, and really only, thing he noticed about him were the tattoos covering most of his arms. He'd never seen someone with that many before. Actually, he hadn't really ever seen tattoos on anyone in person. No one had them in Nibelheim. He didn't get a very good look at them before he disappeared from view. He tried to stay somewhat out of the way of everyone else as they were getting ready for morning routine, observing a little. He saw Johnny pass by on the way to the bathroom but Johnny didn't look his way. Sighing, he began to dress himself in his new fitness clothing for morning exercises.

Ten minutes later, he was severely struggling with getting his bunk made up properly. There'd been regulations for the bunks at the Academy but they seemed to be different here. When he'd come back from the bathroom, his bunkmate had already finished with his and didn't seem to be interested in offering any assistance so he was left to examine his and try to copy what he'd done.

"You're running out of time, Strife!" his sergeant, named Sula, warned him while making a pass through the barrack, checking up on all the new recruits. By the time they were to head out for their morning run, he was sure he'd had it right but when the sergeant came around to inspect he shook his head. It seemed that a few of the others hadn't gotten theirs right either so he wasn't feeling like a complete loser. They were told they'd have to fix it after their run. Running was something Cloud thought he would be able to handle alright. He was pretty used to it, and yet it was far from comfortable.

"Get your asses moving you goddamn good for nothing Academy drop-outs!" the drill sergeant running next to him and a few of the other former cadets screamed at them. There was nothing really wrong with how he and the others were running; the sergeant was obviously just giving them a hard time because they were new. It was like an unwritten rule.

"What the hell's he yelling about?" one of the former cadets said to another. "We didn't drop out," he added.

"Dropped out, failed, what's the difference?" the other replied.

"Well we weren't quitters," the first claimed.

"Really don't think he gives a shit," Cloud heard the second say before they stopped talking and just ran. Cloud couldn't help but think about the things he may have been learning if he were still at the Academy. There was no denying it, he was more depressed now then he'd been in a long time.

The rest of the morning routine consisted of sets of push-ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks, the usual. Following that, he and the few others who had yet to perfect their ability to make a bed were ordered back to the barrack while the others showered and headed down to the mess hall for breakfast. Over and over he made up his bunk only to have his sergeant shake his head and bark out one word "Again!" It was no surprise to him when he was the last one to figure it out. He'd been doing it for nearly an hour and guys were starting to come back from breakfast to get whatever they needed to go off and train or work. Sighing with frustration, Cloud continued to smooth out the sheets on his bunk, preparing to fail again.

"Hey," a voice spoke from nearby and he glanced up to see Johnny leaning against the end of the bunk. "Figure it out yet?" he asked as he crossed his arms over his chest and chewed a little on a toothpick between his teeth.

"What does it look like?" Cloud replied sharply.

"Looks like your top sheet's on upside down," Johnny said back casually.

_No way_, Cloud thought as he stared down at the sheet. Johnny was right, the seams were supposed to be down so that when the sheet was folded back they'd be facing upward. "Shit," he muttered before looking up again at Johnny. "Thanks," he said quietly and Johnny just shrugged. "You probably got it the first time, huh?" he added as he began to correct his mistake. Johnny just smirked in return before walking away. After turning his sheet the right way up and making up the bunk that last time it was finally approved by the sergeant. Unfortunately, he was ordered to remake it ten more times just to make sure he knew what he was doing and that he wouldn't need to hesitate in the future. Sula handed him something that looked like a flashcard. Written on it were times and building and room numbers.

"That's you're new routine," the sergeant said. "Get used to it."

"Yes, sir," he spoke back, trying not to sound as disinterested as he felt at the moment. If it had been a choice he would have gone back to bed. It had been a relatively stressful morning of bed-making.

"I'd get a move on it," Sula suggested. "You're late for your first weaponry training session," he added.

Cloud had to admit, when he'd heard the word 'weaponry', he'd let himself get excited. He'd gotten changed into his uniform and ran off pretty fast. Regardless of the setting, he enjoyed weaponry and learning to use it. However, he didn't realize until he made it down to the training facility that _weaponry_ was a far too general term for what he'd be learning about. It took some searching for the right room in the facility and when he opened the door he was a little thrown off. It wasn't like any training room he'd seen at the Academy. Rather, it was a classroom, and a small one at that. He recognized the other former cadets sitting at several desks along with a bunch of other presumably new recruits he didn't know yet. They all turned to look at him, including the instructor.

"Another late one," the instructor said with clear frustration. "Name?" he asked.

"Uh, Strife, sir," Cloud answered lowly.

"I'm Specialist Lobel," the instructor introduced himself. "Congratulations, Strife, you're the slowest one of this bunch of newbs. Take this and sit down," the instructor commanded while holding out a binder to him.

Feeling his face heating with slight embarrassment, he took the binder and made his way to the back to take an empty seat. When he sat and looked towards the front he noticed the projector screen that was behind Lobel. On it was a picture of a rifle. It became clear to him as he began flipping through pages in the binder he'd been given that he was going to be trained primarily in the use of one weapon. That rifle on the screen. Secondary weapons consisted of two kinds of knives and a few small explosives that he wouldn't get his hands on for more than a little while. He glanced over at the binder of the recruit next to him so he could see what page they were currently on.

"Seventeen," a voice whispered and he glanced up to see the recruit looking at him. It was a female recruit. Having girls around was a little weird after not having any around for months at the Academy so it somewhat surprised him every time he found himself looking at one, though there weren't many.

"Thanks," he whispered back and she smiled before they both faced forward again. It seemed like he'd only missed the extensive history of the gun's creation. Something he wasn't all too upset about. He'd read it later. It became clear to him that he was going to learn far more about this rifle than he really cared to know. When the instructor was finished lecturing on the impact of the rifle on Shinra's combat involvement and asked if there were any questions one hand went up.

"When do we get to shoot one?" the recruit named Ellis asked.

"When I fucking say so, is that alright with you?" Lobel said back sharply. Ellis shrank back in his chair slightly. "A little education's not gonna kill you," the instructor added. "If all you wanted to do is shoot shit then you should have joined the gun club, not the army."

Cloud had to remind himself why he'd joined the army. Because he couldn't go home and couldn't handle working a regular job. He felt a little better after remembering his reasons. Their first training session had gone on until lunch, after which he was supposed to get an introduction to the work he would be doing while he was there. They hadn't told him yet what that would be. Whatever position he was given was supposed to be based on his written tests he'd taken when first arriving at the base. He was truly curious what the result would be.

After being dismissed from his weapons training, he followed the other recruits as they headed down to the mess hall and waited in line to receive his first army lunch. The food wasn't much different from the Academy. A little more pre-packaging of certain items, but all in all it was about the same. He chose a sandwich and some sort of pasta salad and stood with his tray a moment while surveying the large room. He was on his way over to an empty table when he heard a voice say his name. He stopped and looked to his right where he spotted Johnny. The former cadet kicked out the chair across from him with his foot. Sitting down, Cloud had to hold back the grateful smile he could have flashed. He really wasn't enjoying that feeling of starting all over again.

"Thanks," he said softly and Johnny's response was the slight upturn of the one corner of his mouth.

"You looked fuckin' lost standing there," he said then and Cloud couldn't help but smirk a little at the comment. "How was your first weapon session?" Johnny inquired.

"Boring," Cloud answered with a shrug. "How long 'til you get to touch that rifle they're so proud of here?" he asked.

"Not that long," Johnny revealed to his slight surprise. "About a week. Then you'll wish you were still only looking at pictures of it," he went on.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, next you gotta learn how to take 'em apart and put 'em back together again. And clean them, and then do it all over again. And again, and again. You'll be having dreams about doing it," Johnny explained.

Cloud chuckled lightly. "Great," he muttered. His eyes caught those of another's then. The female recruit from earlier. She gave him a tight smile as she recognized him.

"Hey," she said while passing.

"Hey," he returned with a nod, before casting his eyes downward at his food. He looked back up at Johnny a minute later. "You find it weird having girls around?" he asked a little awkwardly.

"Not really," Johnny replied with a raised eyebrow. "You got a girlfriend back home?" he asked and Cloud scoffed.

"No," he said fast, though Tifa's image popped into his head. He wasn't completely sure sometimes, but he was almost positive his friendship with her had never morphed into an actual girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. "You?" he returned the question.

Johnny shook his head but smiled then. "Nothing serious anyway," he elaborated. Cloud rolled his eyes.

"I wish they could have told me sooner what job I'd be doing. They didn't tell me what division I'd be in," he sighed, switching topics.

"Relax," Johnny said while reaching for the bottle of water in front of him. "You'll be in the same division as I am."

Cloud shook his head. "How do you know?" he asked in confusion.

"Because it's where all the former Academy cadets go," Johnny explained. He could see Cloud seemed doubtful. "You'll see," he assured him.

As usual, Johnny was right. He and Cloud had parted at the end of lunch only to be reunited during formation for their division, which turned out to be _Infantry_. He didn't know a lot about the division, or any division for that matter but what he thought he knew was that Infantry was a pretty physical division. He was expecting a lot of physical labour, though not the type he was introduced to on his first day.

After formation, Johnny introduced him to a few of the guys he'd acquainted himself with. The first one, named Travers, just nodded at him while the second, Wendt, shook his hand and said "Welcome to _Bitch Division_."

"Meaning?" Cloud was quick to question it.

"Meaning, in this division you better get used to being treated like some fool's bitch," Wendt clarified, though Cloud still felt the explanation to be vague.

He realized what Wendt had meant when he started his job for the day. Mopping. When the Sergeant had thrust the handle of the mop into his hands he almost laughed, thinking it had to be a joke. The man hadn't been joking. Cloud spent the afternoon mopping the floors of more rooms than he could count. When he finished work for the day and headed to the mess hall for dinner he found himself pretty confused. He asked Johnny if it was just a first day thing but Johnny said he'd been doing maintenance work since he arrived at the base. A little research into the background of the division, however, made him feel like it was a temporary thing. When their officers felt it necessary they were going to be having a much different experience.

000

It was three days before anyone really started talking to him and once they had he almost wished they'd just continued to ignore him. After dinner, he had been reading on his bunk when the two guys in the next set of bunks over and a third guy from one of the other barracks decided to play some cards. The guys from his barrack were named Banner and Nori. The other he thought was named Sanders. The guy didn't seem to say very much. Nori was in the middle of dealing a round of whatever it was they were playing when Banner spoke in Cloud's direction. It took him a second to realize he was being talked to.

"So, you one of them failed academy cadets?" Banner asked and Cloud looked up at him. He looked to be in his mid 20s. He sported a shaved head, just a bit of fuzz covering his scalp. He was well-muscled. His face looked rough with the stubble of facial hair coming in, even though they were all required to keep their faces clean-shaven. He seemed to be the type that could grow a beard overnight. Cloud wondered sometimes if he'd ever actually have to shave. So far it hadn't been an issue. Nori on the other hand was as clean-faced as he was, probably not quite as old as Banner. His jet black hair was cropped short, but not as short as Banner's, and while he looked to be fairly muscular as well, he was leaner.

"Yeah," Cloud admitted quietly when he realized what he'd been asked. He saw no point in giving an evasive answer or an untruthful one. Whatever Banner or the others had to say about it, he really didn't care.

The man chuckled a little. "Don't worry 'bout it. It's not all it's cracked up to be," he stated.

"I haven't given up on it yet," Cloud threw back casually and Banner looked at him along with Nori and their friend. "I'll keep trying until I make it," he said firmly. The others looked at one another before Banner snorted.

"Don't bother, kid, they ain't gonna take you," he said.

"How do you know?" Cloud challenged, laying his book down beside him and sitting up.

"Because, they can see in your eyes you couldn't take it," the man stated plainly.

"Oh, bullshit Banner," Nori jumped in. "Don't listen to him, kid," he suggested with a shake of his head.

"It's not!" Banner defended. "Look at him, man," he urged and Nori did so with a sigh. "He's got the most naive, innocent, and unsure set of baby blues you'd ever seen. Those ain't SOLDIER eyes," he argued.

Cloud grimaced, casting his eyes downward.

"I seen SOLDIERs with eyes like that, Banner, and so have you," Nori shot back.

"What SOLDIER?"

"Hewley for one," Nori pointed out. The name drew Cloud's gaze back to him. "You know, back before the shit hit the fan. And that kid of his got 'em too."

"Who?" Banner questioned.

"That trainee of his."

_Zack_, Cloud thought. He was talking about Zack. Truly Zack had the kindest eyes of anyone he had met in Midgar.

"Exceptions to the rule," Banner said. "Seriously, Nor, you look at that kid there," he motioned to Cloud. "and tell me you can see him picking up a rifle and blowing someone away. It won't happen, anymore than he'd be able to pick up a sword and slice the head off some Wutaian warrior."

Johnny strolled past then, pausing behind Banner. "What's goin' on, Six?" Nori asked and Johnny shrugged.

"What the hell are you playing," Johnny asked, looking at the nine cards in Banner's hand.

"Well we're trying to play a game of Bones," Nori explained, "but Banner seems more interested in dashing the dreams of a kid he just met." Banner glared at him.

Johnny glanced over at Cloud and then back at Banner's cards. "Seven, ten, two queens—" he started to rhyme off what he was holding.

"Goddamit, Six!" Banner shouted, throwing his cards down, he reached up and grabbed hold of Johnny, wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him down onto the bunk next to him. Johnny pulled out of his hold with a half-smile, shoving him. "Where were you? Out havin' another smoke?" Banner asked. "You should cut down on that shit," he suggested.

"Sure, Mom," Johnny spoke back, drawing a glare from Banner and a chuckle from Nori and Sanders.

"I mean it," Banner said sharply. "That crap's makin' your life shorter."

"Are we gonna play this game or what?" Nori asked with a hint of irritation. "You want in, Six?" he questioned next.

"No, the game sucks," Johnny replied, pulling himself off the bunk and standing.

"You suck, Six," Banner threw over his shoulder at him.

Before Johnny walked away he glanced back at Cloud and gave a quick half-smile. Thanks to Johnny the attention was off himself once again and he was glad. He wanted to believe Banner's words hadn't gotten to him, when in fact they kind of had.

000

A week to the day that he'd arrived on the base, Cloud was already getting restless. The first week had been monotonous. Everyday seemed to be the same. Morning routine, breakfast, weaponry lecture, lunch, formation and cleaning whatever he was supposed to clean that day, formation again, dinner, and two hours of laying around until lights out. By the end of that week he was praying for something to surprise him. He really didn't expect his prayers to be answered.

It was mid-morning and he'd been hanging out in the barrack, trying to decide if he wanted to go get breakfast. It was Sunday, which he had just learned the day before meant optional morning routine and basically nothing to do all morning. He still had work in the afternoon though and unfortunately sleeping in wasn't really an option. The barrack was pretty alive by seven but the guys tended to hang around their bunks, taking their time getting showered and dressed. Beds were required to be made up by ten for inspection, which is what he was working on when his sergeant called his name from the door at the end of the room.

"Strife!" Bass shouted down the main aisle. Cloud paused his bed-making to step into the aisle.

"You got a visitor!" the sergeant called to him. "He's in the Commons so hurry the hell up," the man advised.

For a moment, Cloud just stood there. He couldn't really think of anyone who'd be visiting him. When he'd finished making up his bed and was heading down to Commons, he entertained the thought that just maybe it was someone from the Academy. Really the only people he knew in Midgar, which is where he assumed the visitor would be coming from, were Academy people. When he entered Commons, he scanned the area and his eyes were immediately drawn to the presence of a SOLDIER, and not just any SOLDIER; it was Zack.

"Officer Fair!" he spoke in surprise when Zack noticed him and approached quickly.

"Hey, buddy!" Zack said with a bright smile. He resisted the urge to try and hug Cloud when he was within reach. He didn't want to embarrass him in front of his peers. Cloud smiled, standing a little awkwardly, not knowing whether he should be saluting or standing at attention or something. "Look at you," Zack said to ease the bit of nervous tension. "You look...uh...greyish," he added lightly and Cloud looked down at his fatigues.

"Yeah... I think it really brings out my paleness," Cloud replied a little bleakly.

"I think it makes you look stealthy," Zack argued.

"Sure. I can really blend into steel buildings," Cloud suggested.

"Exactly," the officer agreed.

Cloud's smile faded a little as he looked up at Zack. "So, uh, how come you're out here?" he asked with a bit of hesitation.

"Well, I thought I'd come see how you're doing?" the officer revealed, a bit to Cloud's surprise. "And to give you these," he added, pulling something from one of his pockets. "Sorry, they're a little crinkled." Cloud took from him two envelopes. He could tell from the writing on them that one was from his mother and the other from Tifa.

"Thank you, sir," Cloud said softly as he looked at the letters. He met Zack's eyes then. "I can't believe you were actually able to work something out with the mail department."

"What can I say, people love me," Zack joked, though it wasn't really a joke. He did seem to know a lot of people and they all appeared to like him. "I still think that if you told the people back home the truth they'd be supportive," the officer said next, drawing a sigh and a shake of his head from Cloud. Zack gave in, not wanting to start an argument. "But, whatever, you know them best I suppose." Cloud nodded, though he knew Zack was right. His mother and Tifa would probably be supportive of him but they would still know he'd failed. "So," Zack continued, switching topics, "how're people treating you here?"

"Not bad. The officers like to hassle anyone who's come out of the Academy, but it's no big deal," Cloud admitted. "Did you know Johnny's here?"

Zack looked genuinely surprised. "Really?" he questioned. "Didn't see that coming."

"Yeah," Cloud agreed, laughing lightly.

"That's good to hear."

Cloud nodded slowly. "I guess things are a little quieter in the dorms now?" he guessed.

"They seem to be, though I don't get to hang around there much anymore," Zack spoke with a little sigh.

"At least you have work to keep you busy," Cloud pointed out.

"True. What kind of work they got you doing here?"

"Right now? Uh...lots of cleaning," he admitted dully.

Zack laughed a little. "What division are you in?"

"It's supposed to be Infantry," Cloud revealed.

"Oh," Zack replied, his eyes widening a little as he thought about it. "Well things will pick up," he assured. "Infantry's intense," he added. He was only partially surprised Cloud had been put in that division. The army liked to take advantage of the previous training former Academy kids had. It meant they could skip teaching some of the basics to them as they already had some of the skills they'd be taught in the division. It tended to be a heavily physical division though. They were always the ones who ended up in the hand-to-hand combat with whatever enemy they were engaged with.

"I really do miss the Academy, sir," Cloud said after a short silence.

Zack gave him an uneasy smile. "Hey, for the next few weeks I'm going to be pretty busy, but after that, we should hang out. I'll come get you and bring you back to the city for a night. It's gotta be boring out here in the middle of nothing."

"I'd like that," Cloud said happily.

"We'll do that then," Zack responded brightly. "I gotta get going. Take care, buddy," he said and gave Cloud a firm pat on the back.

"Thanks again for bringing me the letters, sir," Cloud said while following him toward the foyer.

"No problem," Zack answered, smiling. "I'll talk to you soon!" he called with a wave before leaving the building.

Cloud stared at the doors a moment, wishing he could follow Zack out, but eventually made his way back to the barrack. He passed his bed inspection and decided to search for a place to read the letters from his mother and Tifa. He didn't really want to read them in the barrack so he decided on one of the more empty common rooms. The one he chose had a good view of Midgar in the distance. Taking up a spot in one of the lounge chairs he opened the letter from his mother.

As he read the first few sentences of the letter, he was reminded of the fact the letters sent from Nibelheim seemed to take a long time to get to him. This particular letter his mother must have sent before his exams as she was wishing him luck and telling him how proud she was of him and that even if things didn't turn out the way he hoped she could never be disappointed in him. Tifa's letter was similar. She wished him luck and told him not to worry. And then she joked that she almost wished he would fail his exams so he could come home again. As he read her letter he really did want to be back home, but as more days passed and turned into weeks, he found himself getting comfortable with the decision he'd made. Comfortable or numb to it.

There was something rather comforting about not having to worry about upcoming tests, and trying to handle academics while learning to be a SOLDIER at the same time. He'd been learning to use the rifle he'd been reading so much about, and contrary to the suggestion Johnny had made that he'd be sick of the weapon after having to clean it daily, he found the process somewhat soothing. He was lucky as he found himself spending a great deal of time cleaning one rifle after another. He cleaned them in his weaponry class and he cleaned them during his job in the afternoon when there was nothing else that needed fixed up or maintained. And not just the rifles he used, but the ones used by other divisions as well. Some of the guys in the other divisions liked to tease him and whoever was with him at the time about how they were like the janitors of the army, particularly a guy named Barstow. But Cloud had had enough bullying at the Academy that the remarks hardly bothered him. He could see they bothered some of the others in his own division though.

Although Barstow was probably several years older than him, he reminded Cloud of some of the kids in his grade school. He wasn't all that threatening, just annoying. Every day the one week, Cloud watched him and a few of his friends cut in front of someone in the lunch line. That Friday he chose to cut in front of him and Johnny and made some comment about the 'Bitch Division being able to wait a minute longer.' There hadn't been very much room between them and the people in front of them so Barstow basically used his own body to displace Cloud's. Cloud found himself nearly stumbling back and he bumped into the person behind him. Johnny had spoke up then with a sharp _Hey!_ and Barstow had been quick to turn back. He was pretty tall, a couple inches taller than Johnny and with a smirk he asked what Johnny was going to do about it.

When Cloud looked at Johnny, he didn't really give a reaction. A moment later Barstow had turned to face forward again. It was later that Cloud realized Johnny had done something, he just didn't see it. That night, after dinner, he decided to hang out in what had become his favourite common room. He stood by the windows and watched the sun setting behind Midgar and thought of Paul and Lou for the first time since arriving at the base. He wondered what they'd be learning at this point in the program.

After about 15 minutes alone, he heard someone enter the room behind him but he didn't turn around, assuming he wouldn't know who it was. It wasn't until the person came to stand next to him that he realized it was Johnny. He didn't turn to look at him to greet him, just uttered a simple "Hey" instead. There was a bit of a silence before Johnny spoke.

"You miss it?" he asked. Cloud looked at him that time. He wasn't sure what specifically Johnny was referring to but he seemed to pick up on that quickly enough and added "The city?"

"Um, not really," Cloud answered first. "A little. But it was kinda overwhelming. It was different than what I grew up with." Johnny nodded in understanding. "You're from Midgar, right?" Cloud questioned after another moment. He suspected such as his family seemed to be in the area.

"I am," was Johnny's answer, almost said with a sigh. Cloud watched him patting down his pockets, presumably searching for his cigarettes. It was then that Cloud noticed something on his wrist. A watch. He was almost completely positive he hadn't seen Johnny wear it before. It was a pretty obvious watch, fairly big.

"New watch?" he inquired and Johnny smiled, pausing his search.

"You don't recognize it?" he asked in return and Cloud shook his head.

"It's Barstow's," Johnny revealed. "I lifted it off him at dinner. I'm waiting to see how long it takes him to figure it out."

"You what?" Cloud said in surprise, thinking back on dinner. "How? When?"

"In the line-up, when we were standing behind him," Johnny explained.

"I was standing right there, I didn't see anything," Cloud spoke in disbelief. "How did you do it?"

"It's so easy," Johnny said with a scoff. "Especially if it's one with a clasp like this that flips open," he went on. "Here," he said as he removed the watch from his own wrist and passed it to Cloud. "Put it on," he ordered and Cloud did so. Johnny told him to turn around so he did. He could feel then the clasp being flipped open and the watch sliding down his hand. "Just like that," Johnny concluded.

Cloud turned back to face him. "But, I felt that. Why didn't Barstow?" he asked.

"You were waiting for it," Johnny explained. When Cloud still looked a little skeptical he went on. "People think that lifting an object of someone else is about being fast or about the person not feeling what's happening but really it's like the art of illusion, it's all about diverting attention. The target needs to be distracted, that's it. It doesn't matter if the person can feel something being taken off them so long as they're focused on something else. You gotta pick the right time and place too. The more crowded the better, and you really can't hesitate. One of the best places is the train. All those people, all those abrupt stops, a person feels themselves being bumped into they don't think much about it until later when they realize their wallet's missing."

"Where'd you learn a skill like that?" Cloud asked, handing him back the watch.

"My brother," Johnny replied with a bit of a shrug.

"Where'd he learn it?" Cloud inquired next.

Johnny thought for a moment. "I dunno," he said at last. "I think he was just born with the skill. He showed me when we were eight years old. We'd take all sorts of things from people." When he caught Cloud's awkward gaze he smiled. "We gave it all back," he revealed. "Most times when we would hand back a wallet to someone and tell them they'd dropped it, the person would give us a few bucks as a little reward." He laughed a little. "My parents always thought Jamie was some kind of angel, but at times he was just as badass as anyone else. I took a lot of shit for that kid."

Cloud shook his head slowly. "What do you mean?"

Johnny scoffed. "Eh, ya know, random stuff. He'd break something and I'd say I did it. Or he'd get caught smoking at school and I'd convince my parents the teachers had confused me for him. He used to ace every class except English so I used to show up to his class on the days he had tests and take them for him. Pretty soon, no one needed to be convinced anymore."

"Why'd you do all that?" Cloud had to ask.

"I dunno," Johnny said slowly as he thought about it. "Guess it really didn't matter to me what our parents thought, or what the teachers thought, or what anyone else thought. It mattered to him. I mean, I was already getting into trouble on my own, couldn't have cared less about school. At eleven I was already hanging out with the high schoolers and drinking. Jamie wanted to be looked at with admiration. He had the potential to go do something great. He really was a good kid and everyone loved him so I guess I figured what the hell? I'll take the rap when he screws up now and then."

Cloud nodded and smiled a little. "It's hard to imagine someone who looks like you...but isn't you," he commented. "Couldn't people tell enough of a difference between you that trying to take the blame for something wouldn't work after awhile?"

"Hmm...Some probably did know," Johnny admitted." But people are gonna see what they want to see. Jamie was the star, I was the pain the ass," he said simply. He reached into his pocket then and pulled out his wallet. From one of the sleeves he pulled a picture and held it out to Cloud. "Have a look," he suggested.

Cloud took the picture and looked at it. The picture was a little old. Johnny and his brother were probably ten or eleven in the picture. No doubt about the fact that they were identical twins. Cloud smiled again. "Yeah, you really do look alike. But I can still tell which is you," he said before passing the picture back.

Johnny shrugged and put the picture back in his wallet. "Yeah, well, it became a hell of a lot easier to tell us apart not long after that picture was taken," he said. I think it was only a month or so later that he got his cancer diagnosis. After he started treatment, he was losing weight, and his hair." He was silent a moment before saying "For the first time in our lives we couldn't pretend that it was me instead of him." Cloud didn't know what to say so he just waited until Johnny went on. "Our parents kept taking me to get tested. In their simple minds the fact that we were twins meant that if he had cancer, I should too. I think they were angry when they realized that I wasn't going to follow my brother's lead."

Cloud frowned at the thought. "How could they be angry?" he asked.

"Come on Strife, doesn't take a wild imagination to figure out," Johnny replied and Cloud looked down a moment, reminded of the fact that according to Johnny, his parents had favoured his brother. It just didn't seem real. "Anyway," Johnny went on "my dad's insurance was going to cover most of Jamie's treatment. For a few months he was still able to go to school but he got too weak after several chemo sessions so I made an effort to show up at school so that I could bring him home assignments and whatever else, but without being able to take tests he had to drop out. My mom quit her job so she could be at home to take care of him during the day and so she could drive him back and forth to the hospital for appointments, which left me and my dad alone to start hating each other."

"How bad was it?" Cloud dared to ask and Johnny shrugged a little once more.

"He was drinking a lot," he revealed. "He started missing work because of it. When Jamie got really bad and had to be admitted to the hospital full-time, my mom was gone most of the day and he'd just drink. And I spent half the time trying to hide that from her. Tried to make sure that when she'd come home late at night that there weren't bottles all over the fucking living room. And she never did see them. She also never saw that he was beating the shit out of me almost every week. She never looked at me at all."

Cloud just glanced at him, not sure if he should say something. He didn't have to though as Johnny continued after a moment.

"My dad lost his job about the time the doctor decided that it was time they look for a marrow transplant for Jamie. They didn't have to look very far. The day after the doctor told my parents that I could save Jamie they were bringing me into the hospital to perform the operation."

"And it didn't work?" Cloud questioned, thinking that since his brother had died recently it must not have.

"It worked fine, I guess," Johnny answered. "The donation was successful and Jamie started improving. He was back home a week after the transplant, and I left two weeks later."

"What happened?"

"My mom and brother had come home to a man who was now addicted to alcohol and being angry. Somehow, I had imagined that when Jamie came back home, that the problems would just dissolve. But my dad needed to have a reason for why he was drinking a twenty-sixer in under an hour, a reason why the bills weren't paid and why he was jobless and his health insurance was running out. Having a dying son wasn't a good enough reason. Having another that did everything to make his life hard was. While my mother and brother had been gone all that time I'd managed to get expelled from school for never taking the time to go, and had been brought home twice by the police for vandalizing. As proof that I was really as bad as I seemed, I was brought home a third time for shoplifting after Jamie had been released from the hospital."

"But you didn't actually shoplift?" Cloud asked, not expecting Johnny's answer.

"No, I did. I'd been doing it for months. I was just dumb enough to get caught that time," Johnny explained.

"So what happened?"

"My dad was awake when I was brought home. He didn't say much. I headed up to the room I shared with Jamie. He was sleeping with his headphones in. And then I made either the worst decision or one of the best...by leaving the room and going out to the kitchen to get a drink of water. I opened the fridge and leaned in to reach the water jug near the back. When I pulled it out and stood straight, my dad was there on the other side of the fridge door. And the look he had on his face...I could tell in that moment he hated me more than any other person in the world. I _knew _what he was going to do, knew that he was going to start hitting me like he never had before, and you know what the one thing that went through my head was?"

Cloud shook his head slowly.

"That I should put the jug on the counter in case I dropped it and the fucking water went all over the floor," Johnny revealed.

Feeling himself sweat a little under the building tension he felt, Cloud asked "And then what?"

"Well I put the jug on the counter and that was it," Johnny said simply.

Cloud let go of his breath in slight relief. "So, he didn't hit you then?"

"No, he did," Johnny said, making Cloud's stomach sink a little. "He beat the hell out of me. I blacked out at some point and woke up on the kitchen floor an hour later. By then my dad had passed out on the couch in the living room. As I was sitting there on the tile coughing on my own blood, waiting for my brain to sort shit out, I remembered seeing something." He looked up as he was remembering.

"What?" Cloud breathed out and Johnny looked at him.

"My mother. She'd come downstairs while my father was busting my ribs to see what was going on. I'd seen her standing there in the doorway as I begged my motherfucking drunk father to stop kicking me."

Cloud's mouth fell open slightly. "She didn't stop it," he said in surprise.

"No. She just turned...and walked away."

Cloud was beyond shocked. He couldn't even comprehend how parents could treat their child that way. He knew his mother would give her life for him. He suddenly felt grateful in a way he never had before, even over the thought that he'd never known his own father. Certainly not knowing the man who'd helped create him was better than having a man around who could actually abuse his own child the way Johnny's seemed to have done. He felt incredibly sad for Johnny, though he sensed the guy didn't want the sympathy.

"It's weird," Johnny continued. "Whenever he'd finish beating me, he used to cry and he'd make me promise to never leave. _Say it, John, _he'd order me. But that last time, it didn't happen. Maybe I just didn't hear it, being unconscious and all, but I dunno...He had Jamie back then so..." His eyes moved across the tiled floor as if searching for something. "Anyway," he said then, blinking and staring straight again. "I decided then I'd rather be on the street," Johnny continued. "I went back to the bedroom. Jamie was still sleeping, headphones on. Pretty sure he hadn't heard anything. I packed up my shit, and I left that night. As far as I know, my brother never knew what happened that night, only that I wasn't there in the morning."

"What was it like?" Cloud questioned a little hesitantly. "On the street?" he added. Johnny looked at him briefly before facing forward again.

"Honestly? It was one of the only times I've been scared," he admitted. "I'd never been that scared, even at home around my dad. Nowhere really feels safe enough to sleep. Days and nights get longer. You're testing yourself constantly, daring yourself to try out one more day without eating something..." He fell silent a moment before continuing. "I was only on my own for about four or five days. Long enough to figure out that being alone makes you a worthless fucking target. Then I hooked up with some other street kids for awhile."

Johnny searched again for his smokes. When he had retrieved the cigarette pack and a matchbook from of the cargo pockets in his pants, Cloud watched him pull the last cigarette from the pack. Johnny crumpled the empty paper casing and tossed it at the garbage.

"And then you came to the Academy?" Cloud asked as Johnny fished out a matchbook from one of his other pockets. Johnny let out a dry laugh. He put the cigarette between his lips before answering.

"Fuck no. That would have been a long fucking four years. No, that lasted like three months," he answered before striking a match and lighting the cigarette.

"Four years?" Cloud repeated in confusion. "I thought you left home when you were twelve."

"Yeah," Johnny confirmed. It still took Cloud a moment to catch on.

"So…you're not fourteen?" he said by way of slow realization.

"Nope," Johnny said back.

"You're sixteen?" Cloud asked next and Johnny nodded.

"Well, I'll be seventeen in a few weeks actually," he clarified.

Though Cloud was a little shocked, it also made sense that Johnny was a little older. He certainly seemed older and looked older, which had him feeling a little better about his still juvenile appearance.

"So, what did you do then?" he asked.

"I moved around a bit. From here to Junon. Here again. Wherever there was a place to stay."

"You ever work at all?"

"Sure. A little of whatever there was out there. No one really hires thirteen year olds," Johnny pointed out. "All the pay was shit. There weren't a lot of decent paying jobs available in Junon, which is why I came back to Midgar."

"And you found a better job here?" Cloud asked.

"A higher paying one, yeah," Johnny corrected.

"So you could get your own apartment or something?"

"So my brother could have treatment again when his cancer came back," he replied plainly.

Cloud was a little taken aback for a moment. "You paid for your brother's treatment?" he asked softly.

"Someone had to," Johnny answered with a shrug.

"Your parents—" Cloud began in a questioning tone but Johnny cut him off.

"Had their own shit to pay for."

"And they weren't bothered by the fact they weren't the ones paying?"

"Sure they were. My dad hated it. Somehow it made him resent me even more. The first few envelopes of money I sent to them he sent right back. Then I started paying the treatment centre directly so he had no damn choice in the matter."

"You couldn't give another marrow donation?"

"I offered. Jamie refused."

"Why?"

He smirked a little. "I think 'cause he was pissed at me. I was never able to give him a good reason why I left...and he hated what I was doing with my life. The job I had."

"Must have been a good job. Treatment like that's expensive."

Johnny looked at him, his eyes narrowed. Cloud looked back at him in confusion.

"What?" he asked.

"Your buddy, Officer Fair, didn't tell you how I made money?"

"Um...no,"

Johnny studied him a moment to see if he was serious. When he could see that Cloud was telling the truth he moved a little closer to him. "You know what 'rough-trade' means?" he asked. Slowly, Cloud shook his head. Johnny moved just a bit closer, his cigarette hanging a little between his lips as he placed his forearm against the wall next to them. Cloud looked up at him a little uneasily. "Really?" Johnny questioned in a low tone, the one word sort of vibrating from in his throat. "How about 'rent-boy'," he asked next and Cloud just shook his head again slowly. Johnny hummed a little in slight surprise. "Well," he said at last as he lowered his arm and reached up to take the cigarette from his mouth. "If you really wanna know you can look it up," he concluded before taking a drag and backing up. "See you in the barrack, Strife," he said before turning.

"Yeah," Cloud said as he breathed out, having just been holding his breath in advertently.

"Strife!" Johnny called back to him as he turned briefly. "Keep my shit to yourself," he ordered.

"I will," Cloud called back and watched him disappear around the corner.

000

As spring rolled in, the entire barrack seemed to get sick at the same time, including Cloud. He hadn't even felt it coming on. He went to bed feeling fine and woke up the following morning with his head completely stuffed up and his stomach queasy enough to make him wonder if he'd make it through morning routine without throwing up. He dragged himself up with the rest of the guys, heading to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. He could see that a few guys were definitely having a hard time getting themselves out of bed.

"Who started this whole thing, anyway?" one of the guys asked before blowing his nose into some toilet paper.

"Jackson, probably," another remarked.

"Was not!" Jackson shot back at them.

"Sure it was, you were sick last week and now you're the only one who's not. We should kick your ass."

Cloud didn't hear anything more of the argument. He went back to his bunk to get dressed and get outside. What he thought was a simple cold lingered longer than he had hoped it would. While he got over his stuffy and runny nose after a few days, he found himself feeling a great deal of nausea. It was unfortunate because he was still sick when Zack finally contacted him for a night out in the city. He knew he really should have been taking the opportunity to get some rest but the prospect of getting out of his grey surroundings was too tempting. It would be the first time he'd seen the streets of Midgar since leaving for the base. So, he requested an overnight pass for that coming weekend and it was granted no problem since he hadn't yet requested any kind of pass, even a day pass.

That Saturday, Zack came to pick him up at the base and told him they were going to get some food and see a movie.

"What movie is it we're going to see again?" he asked while they were on their way to the theatre.

"_Braineaters Seven_," Zack answered with a grin.

"What's it about?" Cloud asked next, sure he'd never heard of it.

Zack looked at him as though the answer should be obvious. "Zombies," he declared.

Nodding, Cloud asked, "Why 'Seven'?"

Again, the answer was pretty obvious. "'Cause it's the seventh one in the series."

"But I haven't seen the other six," Cloud pointed out.

"Bah, doesn't matter. They're all the same anyway," Zack said. Cloud nodded and turned his head to look out the window. "So," Zack spoke up again after a moment. "What'd your girlfriend have to say in the letter she sent?" That drew Cloud's attention back to him fast.

"What?" he asked.

"Your girlfriend," Zack repeated. "Tifa Something."

"She's not my girlfriend," Cloud said with a sigh and Zack looked at him with a doubtful expression. "She's not. She's just...a friend."

"But she is a girl right?" Zack joked.

"Yes, but—" Cloud started to reply.

"So if she's a girl and she's your friend..." Zack interrupted.

"Whatever," Cloud said, rolling his eyes. "Fine, she's a girlfriend then."

"You know, she probably wouldn't be writing if she wanted to be _just_ friends," Zack suggested.

"Yeah, she would. 'Cause that's what Tifa's like," Cloud argued. "You'd know if you met her."

"Whatever you say, buddy," Zack concluded with a smile and Cloud gave up trying to argue.

When they'd reached a parking lot just down the street from the movie theatre, he noticed a sign for a video rental store nearby and it made him think back on that term Johnny had used. _Rent-boy_. He still didn't know what it meant. He hadn't looked it up anywhere and had been a little embarrassed to ask anyone around the base, but it entered into his mind now that he should ask Zack. He didn't think the officer would mock him too harshly for not knowing the meaning of something, so while they were walking toward the theater he spoke up.

"Do you know what a rent-boy is?" he asked and Zack stopped walking to look at him with a little surprise.

"What?" he said with a bit of a laugh. "You just asked me what a 'rent-boy' is?" Cloud looked at him expectantly. "Uh...ha...I'll tell you when you're older," Zack joked as he started walking again.

"Can you tell me what rough trade means then?" Cloud called after him, stopping Zack in his tracks once more.

"_Cloud_!" he called back in a slightly scolding tone as he looked around. "You may not wanna be yelling that out so loud," he said as he walked back toward him.

"Why not?" Cloud asked. Zack looked at him, as if trying to see if he was really being serious. He chuckled then.

"You really are from Nibelheim. Do you get television out there at all? Books even?"

"Shut up," Cloud said in slight annoyance. "What does it mean?"

"Uhhh..." Zack began a little nervously, scratching his head. "It's a guy who has sex with other guys for money why are you asking this?" he spoke all at once. He watched as Cloud's expression changed to one of shock.

"A male prostitute?" he uttered quietly and Zack nodded.

"Why did you want know?" he asked once more but Cloud just shook his head.

"Nevermind," Cloud said, shaking his head again more insistently. "Let's just go." He walked forward a few paces while Zack just stared after him, feeling confused. When Cloud looked back at him he continued toward him and they headed down the block to the theatre.

When Cloud first sat down, he didn't feel so bad, but after the first few minutes in the dark with all the smells of the food around him, his stomach started to turn. He made it through the first hour of the movie but shortly after he had started getting unbearably hot, and he could feel his stomach was about to start heaving. There wasn't enough time to get to the bathroom so he grabbed the nearest thing he could, which just happened to be the popcorn container of the guy sitting next to him. Holding onto it tightly, he promptly began spilling his stomach contents. It took Zack a moment to realize that he was throwing up.

"Hey!" the owner of the popcorn said loudly. "What the hell are you doing?" he questioned angrily, leaning as far away from Cloud as the seat would permit. There were a few shushes coming from around them. Zack realized then what was happening and placed a hand on Cloud's back.

"Wow. Cloud, it's only a pile of fake intestines," he said as he rubbed his back a little. With that said, Cloud heaved a few more times before attempting to rise from his seat. Zack grabbed the popcorn container from him as he did so, leaving his hands free to get up and start pushing his way out towards the aisle.

"What the fuck, man?" the owner of the container said then as he stood up. A number of people spoke up in annoyance demanding he sit back down. Their annoyance only grew when Zack stood as well.

"Uhh...you want it back?" Zack asked as he held the container out toward him. The man shook his head in disgust. "Yeah, didn't think so," Zack muttered before pushing past him and the other people as he made his way after Cloud. He dropped the popcorn container in the garbage on his way out and headed to the bathrooms where he assumed Cloud would be. All the stalls were empty except for one. Zack waited a moment before stepping up in front of the stall.

"Okay...so bad choice of movie I guess," he said with a sigh. "Next time, you can choose," he suggested. The toilet in the stall flushed and the door opened, revealing a man who was certainly not Cloud, a guy who didn't exactly look pleased. "Oh," Zack said fast. "I..."

"Will be leaving now," the man finished his sentence for him and Zack smiled uneasily.

"Right," he agreed, nodding before heading for the door.

He made his way outside then where he found Cloud sitting on the steps leading down to the sidewalk. He was holding his head lowered into his hands.

"Alright," Zack said, starting his descent down the steps. "Some guy thinks I was trying to ask him out now."

Cloud raised his head and turned to look back. "What?" he questioned in confusion. He looked pale, even in the dark.

"Nothing," Zack answered, shaking his head. Cloud faced forward again, placing his head back in his one hand, resting his elbow on his knee. "I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't think anyone actually got sick from watching those lame movies." He sat down next to Cloud on the stairs.

"It's not that," Cloud mumbled. "I just...the whole barrack's been sick..." Zack closed his eyes and groaned.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" he asked, looking at the kid with sympathy. "We didn't have to come here, you should have stayed in bed—"

"No," Cloud said, cutting him off. "I wanted to come here. I thought I was okay...I-I'm so embarrassed," he admitted as he covered his face with his hands.

Zack smiled. He reached his arm around Cloud and rested his hand on his right shoulder. "C'mon, don't be embarrassed," he spoke softly. "So you threw up in some guy's snack. So what?"

"Oh god," Cloud moaned. "I can't believe I just did that."

"It happens," Zack said with a shrug.

"I think...I'm gonna throw up again," Cloud announced after a moment.

"Okay," Zack said as he patted his back.

"Yeah," Cloud agreed before he pulled himself off the stairs, stumbling down to the bottom and disappearing around the corner of the building.

Though Cloud tried to convince Zack to go back into the theatre to watch the rest of the movie, Zack decided instead to call it a night, driving to a motel so Cloud could get some rest. When they had lain down in their separate beds, Cloud spoke up.

"I heard those words I asked you about from Johnny," he said hesitantly and Zack clued in immediately.

"Oh," was all he could say in return.

"He said you knew about what he did to make money before coming to the Academy," Cloud revealed next.

"Yeah..." Zack agreed slowly. "He told me the morning after we went to get him from that club in the slums."

"He seemed a little surprised you hadn't told me," Cloud said as he turned his eyes toward the ceiling.

Zack turned on his side to face his direction. "I figure it's his thing to tell," he rationalized. "He doesn't exactly seem proud of it. It's not something I'd want a lot of people knowing..."

"He paid for his brother's cancer treatment with the money," Cloud said softly.

Zack thought about it and smiled a little sadly. "Even if he hadn't, it doesn't make him a bad guy," he argued.

"I know," Cloud agreed with a nod.

It was silent then so Zack assumed the conversation over. He said goodnight to Cloud before turning the light off next to him. Only a few moments later Cloud decided to bring up something that had been bothering him.

"He thinks we'll be going to Wutai," he said without any real lead-up.

"What?" Zack questioned as he turned the light back on. Cloud just looked back at him. He was sure he wasn't able to hide the bit of worry that was at the front of his mind. Zack stared back before saying definitively "No." He shook his head for emphasis. "Cloud, no," he repeated when he could see Cloud didn't entirely believe him.

Cloud turned his head and looked up at the ceiling. "You'd know though, right?" he asked. "If Shinra was going to start sending more military out there again?" he elaborated.

"For sure," Zack confirmed. "Cloud, you're not going to Wutai," he declared. And that was that.

But Shinra _was _preparing to send out troops. It was only one week later that Zack learned of Shinra's plans. The rebel force had grown in Wutai and the Wutaian government was requesting the help of Shinra's military to keep the force from overtaking the 'cool zone', a normally neutral territory of the country. Nearing the end of August, two hundred troops from Midgar would be sent out to Wutai to join those from Junon in holding down the territory and keeping the citizens safe.

It hadn't been easy, but by mid-August Zack was finally able to get a hold of a roster list. He'd expected an unfavourable outcome, but it was still hard to look at the names on the list and know that Shinra was sending out a fair amount of youth. The youngest were 14 and almost every one of the former Academy cadets had been chosen to go. It certainly wasn't surprising. He'd only been 17 himself when he was sent into Wutai to battle on the front lines. Being a SOLDIER, he'd been more well-trained than the standard military troopers he'd fought next to. He'd seen them hurt and he'd seen them die. Shinra's public relations department could say all they wanted about combat of the 'light' variety. Though it was made clear in the reports that this rebellion-suppressing effort would be 'light,' there would still be bloodshed and few would die just on accident alone.

His biggest concern, however, when looking at the list, was the presence of two particular names: Cloud Strife and Johnny Six. He couldn't imagine Cloud out in Wutai, gun in hand at the front lines of battle, and Johnny wasn't even supposed to be in the army. He should have been on the verge of being accepted into the SOLDIER program. Zack knew he had to try to keep them from being sent out to fight. He had friends in high places, and he intended to take advantage of that. He took a trip to the Army Deployment office to speak to the head coordinator but received a less than satisfying response from the man. It would not be possible for the man to remove two names from the list. It would be one, or nothing.

Cloud realized soon enough that Johnny had been half right. Nearing the end of August, orders were in that two hundred troops would be sent out to aid the previously deployed in Wutai to help suppress the rebel uprising. Where Johnny had been wrong is where he'd said they'd both be sent out to Wutai. Two days after orders came in, Johnny was gone along with half his barrack while Cloud was left wondering how he'd got so lucky.


	27. Chapter 25

_Hey guys, I finally have an update for you. I wanted to say sorry for not getting review replies to you sooner. I have been working in basically the middle of nowhere and didn't have direct access to internet. Thank you so much for all your reviews to the last chapter and I hope you enjoy the update!_

**_Added comment since yesterday:_** _I thought I should mention, since it's been asked a few times, the character Johnny Six is not modelled off of or supposed to be the Johnny from the game. I haven't played the game and actually wasn't aware there was a character by the name of Johnny already or I probably would have given the OC a different name. Sorry for any confusion :)_

Chapter XXV

The cold winter air was biting at the exposed skin of Cloud's face and hands as he shifted a little on his stomach. He could hear the whistling of the wind in his ears and squinted a little to see through the mist of snow it whipped up ahead of him. He took in a breath and held it. Gently, he pulled his right index finger back and applied just the right amount of pressure to the metal under it. There was an expected 'crack' sound and he could just make out up ahead of him the blue and yellow target shuddering a little with the impact from the bullet ripping into it. He fired three more times at the nearby targets before exhaling slowly.

He released his finger from the trigger of his rifle and checked the time on his watch. He'd been firing for near an hour and his time allotment was almost up, not that it really mattered. There weren't many soldiers dying to use the outside range right now. Still, the cold from lying on the ground was starting to seep into him slowly and it was getting dark anyhow.

He removed his snow glasses when he reentered the training facility and the specialist on duty commented on his accuracy.

"Nice job out there," he said with a nod. "Ninety-three percent."

"Thanks," Cloud replied with an awkward half-smile as he handed over the rifle he'd been using.

"Don't know how you lasted so long without a pair of gun gloves though," the specialist commented.

"Oh," Cloud said before looking at his hands that were definitely reddening in response to the indoor warmth. "I don't find it all that cold here compared to where I'm from," he explained before wishing the specialist a good evening and leaving the facility.

It was only a few days until Christmas. Unlike at the Academy, the base wasn't really outfitted with any special decorations. There were some lights strung up in the mess hall and a few sadly decorated Christmas trees dispersed throughout some of the recreation rooms. Half the base was still deployed in Wutai. About a hundred troops finishing their year-long tours were supposed to be returning before Christmas but poor weather in Wutai had grounded all aircraft. Cloud had found himself wondering what it would be like over there during the holidays. He almost imagined it to be a more festive environment than the one he was currently in. Johnny and the troops he deployed with would be just about finished the fourth month of their tour.

He hadn't spoken to Johnny since before he left and he doubted he'd speak to him again until the day he returned. Unless of course, Cloud himself was finally deployed. He felt like he should be. It seemed strange that he was among only three former Academy cadets who weren't deployed with the rest. He wondered if it was because he lacked something that would make him valuable to have there. For that reason he'd trained as much as he could with firearms and in hand-to-hand combat. In late October he'd discovered an arms room with some weaponry he hadn't seen since the Academy, including swords. They were in rough shape but he was able to convince the officers in the facility to allow him to clean them up and practice with them. He was terrible, so terrible that he caught the eye of a soldier who happened to be in the facility and see him practicing one day. The guy was familiar to him. It was his bunkmate, Druno, a guy who until then really hadn't spoken to him at all. He really didn't seem to talk to anyone. That day though, Cloud was approached by him, and Druno offered to practice with him. As it turned out, Druno was the son of a blacksmith and his father had had a certain expertise in manufacturing and wielding blades. Every other week, Druno would spend a couple hours with Cloud in the training facility.

Since the first day he'd spent practicing with Druno, he'd wanted to ask him why he was in the army and not SOLDIER, but he never voiced the question. He wasn't sure if it would be an unwelcomed one. For all he knew, the guy had tried out for SOLDIER and hadn't been accepted. He knew himself how hard that was to accept so he didn't want to open any old wounds.

In the locker room, he stripped off his water-impermeable outerwear and began making his way to the mess hall for dinner. He sat alone to eat, just as he had most days for the last four months. Every once in awhile he found himself sitting with a few guys from his division, usually because he was coming from formation and they decided to join him. He spent most of his time alone, which wasn't all that bad. He'd spent a lot of time alone in Nibelheim, but part of him really did miss the Academy and the crazy constant bustle of the place. Paul was always forcing him into a conversation, and towards the end of his time there Zack would do the same. He hadn't seen Zack since September but had talked to him on the phone a few times.

In November he'd been put on his first guard duty in the city. He'd been incredibly nervous about it after going through weeks of training in how to deal with certain situations and what he was required to do, down to the smallest detail, including how he was supposed to hold his firearm. For all his worrying, his first posting was completely uneventful. He found himself standing in the same place for nearly four hours. Since then, he'd been posted in the city several times and had become pretty comfortable with it. Though he preferred to be working than not, he was a little disappointed when Sula approached him in the barrack later and told him he was going to be posted Christmas evening at a high class party in the city. He thought it could be the Shinra Christmas Banquet as he'd heard it was to be the first year military soldiers would be posted at the location for safety reasons. Cloud knew it had to do with the terrorist attack that had occurred at the banquet the previous year. It made him a little anxious thinking about the possibility of another attack happening this year, but he learned quickly enough he was going to be posted at a different party. Some businessman's gala.

At five o'clock Christmas night he was standing outside with one other soldier watching as limo after limo after expensive car arrived and various people dressed in formal wear left the vehicles and entered the event hall. He didn't recognize any of the people and after a half hour was wondering what was so special about these people that they required military guards to protect them. The other soldier he was posted with, his name Gall, seemed to think the event was a company party for one of the big pharmaceutical companies. One such company had been in the news recently as having received threats from an animal rights group. The company was rumored to have been testing on an assortment of animals not approved by the Ministry of Medicine. It made sense then, if this gala was for that particular company, that they might need the added protection of guards.

It was freezing outside, probably one of the coldest nights Cloud had experienced outside of Nibelheim. While he did have gloves on, he was actually wishing he had something to cover his face and keep the wind from biting at it. It was nine o'clock and a new round of people were arriving at the hall. He couldn't help but wonder how the Shinra Christmas Banquet was going. Last year had been marked by a terrorist attack so he wondered if less people would be at the banquet despite it being almost a mandatory thing for Shinra staff.

In fact, the banquet didn't seem to have suffered the loss of many people, but of the few who weren't there, Zack was one of them. He chose instead to spend the evening with Aerith. They were in the middle of a walk around Sector 5 looking at some of the Christmas lights that the few people around there had put up on their houses or shops. The displays were much less impressive than those on the plate but it was nice to see regardless. Zack could tell though that Aerith was a little annoyed at the fact they weren't at the Shinra banquet, or at least that Zack wasn't.

"Aren't you going to be in trouble for not being there?" she asked him as they walked hand in hand down the street.

Zack snorted. "It's not that big a deal," he assured her.

"But everyone goes every year," she pointed out.

"Not everyone. Some of the guys get passes to go home and visit family," Zack corrected.

"Well for everyone else I'm pretty sure you said once that it is mandatory," she argued.

"No," Zack denied, shaking his head. "It's just…bad etiquette not to go."

"So why aren't you there?" she questioned, not for the first time. Zack sighed, not wanting to discuss it much more. "I mean, things have been going well for you, Zack. You're leading missions again. I just thought you'd want to keep up appearances." When Zack said nothing in return she stopped walking, halting them both.

"What is it?" Zack groaned, facing her.

"Is this about last year?" she inquired softly.

"Last year…" he echoed, shaking his head like he had no idea what she was talking about.

"Zack," she spoke seriously and he rolled his eyes.

"Let's go," he said, turning to keep walking. Aerith let go of his hand then and he turned back to her.

"Aerith—" he started to say but she stopped him.

"That's why isn't it?" she said. "You're afraid something will happen like last year."

Zack thought about the last banquet. It seemed like just yesterday. A lot of people had been injured that night. Some had been killed. Kunsel had been shot. Aerith had been grazed by one of the bullets. It terrified him to think of how close a call that had been. He could have lost two of the people he cared about most. That wasn't really his reason for not going this year. He could have gone and left Aerith in the safety of the slums. And when it came to Kunsel, as a SOLDIER he always faced risks. Really, he just wasn't feeling like being in that environment that night. It was just over two years since Angeal's death and he found it hitting him harder this year than the year before. He suspected it was because the year before he hadn't really allowed himself to think much about it. Since finishing the bereavement program it's all he'd really been able to think about. That and Cloud.

He hadn't had the opportunity to talk to Cloud much in the past few months. He knew Cloud wasn't at home for Christmas, on account of not wanting anyone from Nibelheim to know he isn't in SOLDIER. He also knew that while he'd been able to keep Cloud from being sent to Wutai in August, he wasn't going to be able to keep him from going forever. More troops would likely be sent out in February or March. While Cloud would have at least a little more training, he still didn't want to see him sent there. He felt bad enough that he hadn't been able to keep Johnny from going. He found himself feeling a little bitter towards Shinra, a feeling he wasn't accustomed to.

"It has nothing to do with the attack last year," he answered Aerith at last. "I've just…I just wanted a change of scenery this year," he said with a half-smile. Aerith looked at him a little skeptically. "I'll be going to the New Years thing anyway in a few days," he added.

"Alright," she said, returning a smile and taking his hand again. After a moment of them walking again she asked, "Is something bothering you?"

"No," he answered with a nod. "I promise," he added when he noted her concerned expression. "Just a little tired," he added with another smile.

"Let's head back then," she suggested, gripping his hand a little tighter as they started to make their way back to the church.

000

By the time 1 a.m. had rolled around, Cloud was exhausted. He didn't think standing could take so much out of him. He was cold, hungry, and ready for sleep. He also smelled of alcohol, as a few of the people from the party had left the building with drinks in hand and their unsteady hands found them tipping their glasses all over, including on him and Gall. People had begun to leave the gala around midnight but they were filtering out slowly, a few people at a time. He had noticed Gall's eyes were closed a few times and he looked like he was about to drop to the ground so he knew he wasn't alone in how tired he felt. The good thing was that the next day he would be off duty and would be able to relax. He was almost sure he and Gall were going to see another completely uneventful evening. That was, until, three men approached the hall and proceeded to try and enter the building.

He and Gall blocked their way and advised them to move along but they seemed pretty intent on getting inside, blabbering on about having been invited to the party and just having left their invites at home. They were all drunk and certainly not dressed for any sort of party like the one going on in the hall. Two of the guys got fairly aggressive when denied access to the building and Cloud began to think they were going to attempt to start a fight. He and Gall took charge and began physically sending them on their way. As Cloud was directing the one away, he felt the third one place a hand on his shoulder heavily. Out of instinct he reached for his gun and turned fast, ready to aim and suggest the guy take off. Unexpectedly, the guy grabbed onto him, stumbling a little, and he mumbled something about not feeling well.

He saw what was coming just a little too late. The man was lurching and throwing up, the vomit heading right for him. He stepped back but wasn't quick enough and was caught at the bottom of his coat and on the front of his one pant leg as well as his boot. The man looked up at him drowsily.

"I feel better," he slurred out before letting go of Cloud's arm. He began to wander off then after his two friends, leaving Cloud in his now soiled uniform.

For the last forty-five minutes he had to stand outside, he had to do so with the smell of vomit now hanging in the air around him. At 2 a.m. the hall was emptied and he and Gall were relieved of duty. They got back to the base around quarter to three and Cloud was so tired he was almost ready to crash in his bunk without even bothering to change from his soiled uniform. He knew he would be forcing himself to do so though, as well as shower. He really didn't want to wake up as dirty as he'd gone to bed. He hesitated though when he got back to the barrack and saw two envelopes on his bunk. He didn't need to get close to them to know who they were from.

He opened the one from Tifa first. Her letters didn't make him feel guilty the way the ones from his mother did. She talked about all the snow they hadn't been getting. It had been a particularly warm winter, which was unusual for Nibelheim. She talked about how school was going, which reminded him that if he wasn't currently enlisted in the army that's where he would be. In high school, like some average teenager. Then came the part where she congratulated him on making it into SOLDIER, telling him she knew he could do it and that his mother was so proud of him. Some of the boys who'd always picked on him were jealous apparently. She finished by telling him she had a Christmas gift for him but that she was waiting to give it to him in person.

He was smiling when he finished her letter but his smile faded when he opened his mother's. Back in the summer he'd written to her to tell her he had been accepted into SOLDIER. She had been expecting him home for the summer and he needed to have a reason why he wouldn't be coming back to Nibelheim so he'd told her the SOLDIER program began immediately after his acceptance into it in June. He hated lying to his mother, but really he'd lied to her a lot growing up. While she knew he'd been bullied by the other kids in the town, and even by some of the adults, she only knew of the few times when he wasn't able to keep his injuries from her. He never told her about all the other times. He never even told her his ambitions to become a SOLDIER until he was basically leaving for Midgar. Now he was lying about being in the army. While his mother's Christmas letter was generally upbeat and happy sounding, with her talking about work and the time she was spending with the few friends she had made since he'd left, he could tell she was sad. He'd been gone more than a year now, though it seemed so much less time had passed than that. He knew she missed him, maybe more than he missed her, and he missed her greatly. He was saving up money though, which he planned to send home soon.

When he'd finished reading the letters he shoved them under his pillow and went to shower. So far the two Christmases he'd had out of Nibelheim had been pretty crappy. He was tempted to think the last year's was better, however, even if he'd spent it in the infirmary. Zack had come to visit him and given him a gift, which had been completely unexpected. This year hadn't really felt like a special occasion at all and he was ready for it to be over.

He was more than a little surprised when he was given notice a few days later that he'd be on the security team for the Shinra New Year's party. Apparently the event was larger than the Christmas banquet as far more people were invited. Last year it had been cancelled because of the terrorist attack that occurred Christmas. This year security and safety of the guests was a top priority so there were going to be almost a hundred people on the security team posted at the hotel where the event was to take place, including the hotel security, hired armed guards and army personnel. As part of his preparation for the night, Cloud was given a folder with profiles of the biggest names attending. He hardly recognized any of them but he was supposed to know who they were and make their personal safety a top priority should something happen. The only people he really recognized where President Shinra, Vice President Rufus Shinra, and the mayor of Midgar.

As many of the guests were going to be staying in the hotel overnight he was technically on duty from 6 p.m. New Year's Eve until noon the following morning but was only on active duty from 6 p.m. until 2 a.m. and then from 8 a.m. until noon when he would be sent back to the base. For those few hours in between he was being given a room to himself to get a little sleep. It was definitely the strangest posting he'd been given but at least he was off the base. Also, because it was a Shinra party, there was a chance he might see Zack.

The first person he saw that he recognized was in fact not Zack but Paul. He caught sight of him while doing a round of the outside grounds. He was approaching the front of the hotel when he saw his former Academy friend. It hit him then that Paul must have successfully completely the Cadet Initiate program and been accepted into SOLDIER. He felt proud and envious at the same time. At the base, he had imagined a few times coming back to the city and meeting up with Paul but when the opportunity was presented for him to approach him and say something…he let it pass by without a word.

When he finally saw Zack it was as he was entering the building with Kunsel. Zack glanced his way and was about to keep walking when he stopped and pointed at him, smiling. He approached then.

"Hey, kid!" he greeted brightly. "Happy New Year!" he added when he stopped in front of him. Kunsel had followed behind but stood back a few feet.

"Thanks, you too," Cloud said back.

"You remember my friend, Kunsel?" Zack said next, glancing back behind him.

"I do. Hi, sir," Cloud greeted Kunsel stiffly. He got the feeling Kunsel really didn't like him that much. Probably because of that night he asked for Zack's help in bringing Johnny back to the Academy from the slums after curfew. Kunsel just nodded at him.

"So you're part of the security geek crew," Zack teased.

"Yes, sir," Cloud affirmed.

"Trade you places," the officer offered.

"Uh, I don't think so, sir," Cloud replied uneasily. "I wouldn't know how to handle myself in there," he said as he tilted his head toward the dining hall.

"Well you're gonna have to learn if you're going to be in SOLDIER," Zack pointed out and Cloud laughed a little. "How was your Christmas?" Zack asked next but before Cloud could answer Kunsel was placing a hand on Zack's shoulder.

"We're late as it is, Zack. Dinner's going to start soon," he said firmly. Zack rolled his eyes as he looked at Cloud.

"Big deal," he muttered. "Alright," he sighed. "I'll catch up with you later, buddy," Zack said to Cloud before being dragged away.

After dinner, Zack found himself becoming bored rather quickly. The one thing he hated about those parties was the mingling he was expected to do. For almost the whole year after Angeal's death, no one really talked to him at all at the gatherings, but now that he was leading missions regularly and becoming a frequently spoken name in the company there were plenty of people vying for his attention. It really just annoyed him. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about work when he spent most of his days absorbing himself in it. That's why he liked to bring Aerith. There was less of a chance of them bothering him when he had her with him. But he was reluctant to bring her to parties now, because of what had happened the previous year. His mood wasn't all that festive this year either.

While he made a good effort to avoid contact with the other guests, save for the other SOLDIERs, he still found himself engaged in discussions he had a hard time keeping focused during. It became even more difficult as the night went on and he became more tired. He was actually on his way out of the ballroom for some alone time when Kunsel stopped him and introduced him to the ambassador of someplace he forgot the name of the moment it was said. He recognized it though as a nation of islands close to Wutai who they'd been recently allied with since the first war in Wutai. He found his mind wandering as the ambassador spoke. He really could care less what the man had to say to him. He didn't want to discuss missions, or city planning, or crime rates, or health improvement, or any of the other things a bunch of people wanted to talk to him about.

"What are your thoughts, First Class?" the ambassador asked and Zack looked at him fast. He had no idea what the ambassador wanted his opinion on.

"Uh…I would say…" he glanced at Kunsel to see him giving him a look that was somewhere between incredulous and scolding. "Would you excuse me a moment?" he questioned and the ambassador nodded.

"Yes, of course," he agreed. Zack gave a polite smile in return before departing from the conversation and the ballroom. He searched out someplace that was relatively secluded and found a lounge nearby. He closed the door behind him and sighed in relief before gazing around the room. There were bookshelves covering two of the walls. Hundreds of books were placed on them. Leisurely, he began to browse over them while he sipped his drink. He really didn't recognize any of them, which wasn't surprising. He'd never been much of a reader.

His mind wandered off to think of Aerith and he decided to give her a call and see how her evening was going. As he was dialing her number he heard the sound of a door closing in the next room over. The rooms were connected by a third door that was shut but he could still hear voices through it. Flipping his phone shut and slipping it back into his pocket, he moved himself a little closer to the door and strained to listen. He assumed a couple had decided to use the room to hook up in. It did tend to happen at the New Year's parties he'd been too. He wasn't really interested in eavesdropping, he just wanted to know who it was.

He realized quite quickly it was not anybody trying to use the space as a place to get intimate. He heard the voices of two men who sounded like they were having a pretty serious conversation. He definitely recognized Rufus Shinra's voice but he wasn't sure about the other. If he could just get a little closer…

He looked down at the glass in his hand. He dumped what was left of the liquid in it in a nearby potted plant and went back to the door. He pressed the open end of the glass against the door and placed his ear on the other end. The voices on the other side of the door became instantly clear enough to discern what was being said.

"There's far greater potential than we're currently tapping into. My father simply will not accept it." It was Rufus talking. "Seems he's more concerned with his science team these days," the vice president added.

"Do you really want to defame the president and provoke competition for Shinra? Do you know what that would mean for the city? For the company? The company that will someday be _your _responsibility?" the voice of another man spoke.

"My father has no intention of passing the company on to me. He'd have Hojo run it before me," Rufus argued. "I'd rather see it buried."

"So, what will be your next move?" the unknown man inquired.

Before Zack could hear Rufus's answer the other door to the room opened suddenly and Kunsel appeared. "Zack!" he spoke loudly. "What the hell are you doing hiding in here?" There was no way Rufus and his guest hadn't heard Kunsel as well. Zack lowered the glass from the door. "What're you doing?" Kunsel asked, eyeing him curiously.

"Nothing," Zack replied and headed toward him. He pushed past Kunsel back into the hall where the door to the adjacent room opened and revealed Rufus in the doorway. Zack paused only a moment to nod. "Vice President," he greeted before continuing on his way. He had only glanced at Rufus's face but he could tell the man knew he'd been listening in on his private conversation. He didn't accuse him or stop him though. He just replied with a curt "Officer Fair," before Zack was gone.

Kunsel was close on Zack's heels as he headed for the ballroom. The moment Zack re-entered, a waiter was approaching him with a tray of drinks. "Wine or champagne, sir?" the waiter offered.

"Both," Zack answered as he took the champagne glass first and drank it back in one gulp. He set both the empty wine glass and the one he'd had from earlier down on the tray and took the wine, drinking it down almost as fast.

The waiter looked at him with a raised brow. "Another, sir?" he asked, offering the tray to him again.

"Definitely," Zack replied, trading the now empty wine glass for a full one. He took only a sip this time and the waiter walked off. Kunsel took his place in front of him.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Kunsel asked. Zack shook his head and lifted the glass towards his mouth but Kunsel placed a hand over it quickly. "Seriously," he said firmly and Zack looked at him.

"Nothing," he claimed, and waited for Kunsel to remove his hand. "Nothing, Kunsel," he spoke sharply, staring hard at his friend. When Kunsel finally let go of his glass he took another drink out of it. "I need to sit down," he remarked and set off for the nearest chair. Kunsel didn't go after him but he watched Zack closely over the next few hours. He also observed the way Zack reacted when the vice president re-entered the room. And the way Rufus reacted as well. Something was up.

Zack couldn't help but notice Rufus Shinra's glaring eyes more than a few times after the man came back to the ballroom. He half expected to be approached by the man but it didn't happen, if only for the fact he made himself busy, allowing numerous people to engage him in conversations he otherwise would have rebuffed. He drank a lot and subsequently became drunk. He'd actually started to feel buzzed not long after downing those few glasses of wine and champagne earlier but was able to play it pretty cool until around midnight when he knew it was pretty obvious to a few people that he'd been over-served. Kunsel was one of them. His friend approached him just after midnight and suggested he turn in but he refused. He wanted to see Rufus leave first. He would wait until he knew the vice president was safely tucked away in bed before making his way to his own.

Perhaps it was his paranoia but it seemed that Rufus was waiting for the same reason. He wanted Zack to leave first, probably so he could corner him and ask just what he'd heard in that lounge. He wouldn't know for sure for Rufus finally left at around 1 a.m. By then though Zack had been scooped up by some of the old execs and accountants and they were having a grand old time singing some songs. It was drawing close to 2 a.m. when Kunsel was finally able to drag him away, literally. Zack was having a hard time walking straight at that point. On the way to the elevators he felt the need to start explaining who he wished hadn't been at the party and why.

"You may wanna keep your mouth shut, Zack, as some of those people are still here," Kunsel pointed out on their way up to Zack's room.

Zack laughed. "What would they do? Tell on me?" he joked. "Everyone in this company is a liar or a fake," he commented.

"Zack, come on. Enough," Kunsel warned. The elevator door opened on the floor where Zack's room was located.

A few minutes later, back down on the ground floor, Cloud was finishing up doing a check of some of the halls. He was heading towards one of the rows of elevators when the doors opened and Kunsel stepped out. He looked Cloud's way and began walking toward him.

"Oh, great," Kunsel said as he approached. "Glad I ran into you," he added and Cloud glanced behind him. There was no one there so the officer was actually talking to him. "You're almost off-duty aren't you?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," Cloud answered a little hesitantly.

"Could you do me a favour?" the officer questioned next and Cloud nodded. "Take this," Kunsel said as he held out a guestroom key card to him. "I just brought Zack to his room but I have to go see some people off. Can you go make sure he's alright and that he's going to be staying in there the rest of the night. He has a tendency to wander when he drinks a little too much and I really don't want him running into the wrong person and pissing them off. Can you do that?" he asked sharply.

"Yes, sir," Cloud repeated, taking the card from him.

"Thanks," Kunsel said before passing by him and heading for the opposite end of the hall back out to the foyer. Cloud looked down at the key in his hand and the number on it. Zack's room was on the tenth floor so he headed for the elevators. When he exited onto the tenth floor he looked back and forth down the hall to see which way the numbers were going before heading to the right. Outside Zack's room, he knocked on the door lightly. He called Zack's name when there was no response and finally used the keycard.

He had expected to find Zack lying down asleep or passed out as Kunsel had alluded to the fact he was drunk but he was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing away from the door with his head down.

"Officer Fair," he said softly as he entered the room. "Are you okay?" he asked. Zack turned slightly on the bed and looked up at him. He could see then Zack had his cellphone in his hand.

"Heyyy, buddy," the officer said with a smile. Cloud returned the smile as he came forward.

"What are you doing?" he asked and Zack held up the phone.

"Trying to make a call but…the thing's not working," he explained, his words coming out slurred. "Screw it!" he said as he slammed the phone down on the nightstand, making Cloud wince with anticipation of the battery flying off the back of it from the force. It didn't though. Zack fell back on the bed, his arms outstretched as he huffed out an exhale. "Whatcha doin' here anyway, buddy?" he asked. "No wait!" he said before Cloud could explain, sitting up once again. "Lemme guess. Kunsel sent you."

"Yes, sir," Cloud confirmed.

Zack laughed emphatically. "Right, 'cause I can be a real pain in the ass sometimes," he said as though he was reciting something Kunsel had said to him earlier. He began tugging at the tie around his neck, trying to loosen it. "I hate suits," he muttered as lifted the ends of the tie and tried to see the knot.

It was strange to see Zack drunk. Actually Cloud didn't really imagine he ever would. He set his firearm down by the door and moved forward to where Zack sat, stopping in front of him. "I can do that for you, sir," Cloud offered and Zack let go of his tie, putting his hands up in front of him.

"Be my guest," he replied. He watched Cloud as he sat down and reached for the tie, beginning to undo the knot slowly. He watched Cloud's face and thought about how young he seemed and then he thought of Angeal. Of the first time he'd had to go to one of Shinra's fancy parties and how Angeal had helped him put on his tie for the first time.

"Is something wrong, sir?" Cloud asked when he'd gotten the tie undone. Zack hadn't realized it but his eyes had let loose a few tears while he was sitting there.

"Uh…no," Zack said before lowering his head and smiling. "I guess I had too much to drink," he stated, though it was already obvious. "Makes me kinda emotional," he added, shaking his head and wiping his tears away hastily. "It's kinda hot in here," he added as he began struggling to get his suit jacket off, simultaneously trying to unbutton his shirt. Cloud helped him remove his jacket before laying it across the nearby chair.

"Do you want some water, sir?" Cloud asked and Zack nodded.

"Sure," he said. "Why not."

Cloud took a glass from the table in the room and headed into the adjoining bathroom to fill it from the tap. He waited a moment until the water was as cold as it was going to get before putting the glass under the stream. When he exited the bathroom with the filled glass he found himself looking at an empty bed. Zack was nowhere to be seen. He had left something behind though. His clothing. _All _his clothing. Cloud stared at the door to the hall. Surely Zack hadn't left the room wearing nothing. That's certainly what it looked like. Cloud set the glass in his hand down and proceeded to collect some of Zack clothes before heading to the door. He picked up his firearm before leaving the room. He looked both ways down the hallway but there was no sign of Zack.

"Just great," Cloud spoke aloud to himself. He broke into an immediate sweat thinking about what would happen if Zack was caught wandering around in the buff, especially if Kunsel was the one to see him first after having given orders to him to watch Zack. He had no idea where to start looking for him so he headed for the elevators but stopped just before he reached them. Zack had said in the room he was hot. He could have stepped out to get some air, but where? Downstairs or…

Cloud turned back the way he came and approached the stairwell fast. He climbed the stairs two at a time as he made his way to the roof. He was breathing hard when he burst through the door out into the night air. He didn't have to search for long with his eyes to spot Zack standing at the far end of the roof, his palms resting on the ledge in front of him as he stared down. There was a wine bottle sitting next to him on the ledge, which he must have taken from his room before heading up there.

"Sir," he called to him as he approached and Zack looked back.

"Hey, buddy!" he called back before turning around, revealing himself fully to Cloud who halted and averted his gaze to the ground quickly.

"Uh, y-your clothes, sir," Cloud stuttered out, partly from the awkwardness he suddenly felt and partly from the cold. He couldn't see how the officer could enjoy standing outside like that in the middle of winter. He held Zack's clothes out but the officer made no move to take them. He turned back around and Cloud looked up at him once again. "What are you doing, sir?" he asked then.

"Taking in the view," Zack replied. "I could use a little exhilaration after such a stuffy evening," he added before taking a drink from the bottle.

"Couldn't you do that from your room?" Cloud asked, more to himself as he glanced back at the door from which he'd come. "It's kind of late, sir, you should probably get some sl—" The words died in his throat suddenly as he faced the officer again and saw him beginning to climb up on top of the ledge. "Oh, god," he uttered in dread as his pulse quickened.

"Come on, Cloud!" Zack called to him. "Live a little. It won't kill you."

"Something tells me this could," Cloud replied as he took some slow steps toward him.

"Sir, could you please come down?" he asked nervously. "Please." He couldn't help thinking about how terrible it would look if Zack fell and it was found out that he was with him at the time. Would anyone believe it was actually an accident? What reason would the first class officer have for doing something that dumb. He was actually wondering that himself right at that moment.

"Not 'till you stop calling me 'sir'," Zack teased and held out his arms at his sides, taking in a deep breath.

"Please, sir—uh Zack," Cloud pleaded. Zack looked back at him and smiled.

"Alright," he said with a sigh, "Gimme a hand, will you?" He held out his hand for Cloud to take. Cloud closed the distance between them and reached to grasp his hand. Instead of stepping down, Zack began to pull back, trying to urge him to step up on the ledge next to him. "Come on, buddy, it's not scary, I won't let you fall," Zack assured him but Cloud resisted.

"No, Zack, come on, get down," Cloud begged as he pulled back. Zack persisted a moment longer in trying to urge him up. Suddenly, he began to lose his grip, Zack's fingers slipping away from his, throwing him off balance.

For a second, one second that seemed minutes longer, Cloud saw Zack's eyes widen with the realization he was about to fall. In an instant, Cloud dropped the clothes he still had in his other hand and reached out fast to take hold of Zack's other arm, pulling him hard towards himself. Zack was pulled from the ledge and fell into him. They both nearly went down to the ground but Cloud kept them standing. Zack looked back at the ledge in brief shock before bursting into laughter. Cloud grew angry quickly.

"It's not funny, Zack!" he almost yelled.

"Did I scare you, buddy?" Zack asked with a taunting smile.

"Yeah," Cloud said as he let go of Zack and stepped back from him. "You fucking scared me," he added, feeling himself beginning to tremble with falling adrenaline. "You happy?" he asked before pushing past him to stand in front of the ledge. He shut his eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to keep himself from crying, which was what his body seemed to want to do right then.

"Cloud, come on, I was just kidding around," Zack said lightly.

"Can you please get dressed now and go with me back to your room," Cloud asked in return, without looking at him.

"Okay, fine," Zack agreed. "No peeking though while I get dressed," he ordered.

"I won't," Cloud answered and rolled his eyes. It wasn't like he hadn't already seen everything. He stood and waited, glancing down once at the street below. It was a long way down. There was no way Zack would have survived a fall that far down. "Done yet?" he asked after a minute. There was no reply. "Zack?" He turned to look over his shoulder and found he was alone. Zack's clothing was still lying on the ground. "You gotta be kidding me!" Cloud exclaimed before reaching down to gather them once more and head for the door. He hoped that Zack would head back to his room but a quick check there told him he hadn't. Now feeling frustrated and a little angry he renewed his search.

He decided to head to the stairwell and start going downward. He stopped at every floor and opened the door to each hall to look out and see if he happened to spot Zack on one of the levels. He had no luck finding him that way and finally ended up on ground level where he took to searching the event areas. He was surprised to see that even though most guests had either gone up to their rooms or left the premises, there were still a few milling about, as well as a large cleaning staff beginning to clear up. There was no sign of Zack though.

He was starting to feel a little panicked as he headed toward the elevators but as he rounded the corner he stopped in his tracks. One of the elevators was opening and Kunsel was coming out. Before the officer could spot him he stepped back out of view and went for the first door available, turning the knob and stepping inside. He shut the door and stepped back. He realized he'd entered one of the conference rooms. When he was sure Kunsel had passed by he left the room for the elevators once more.

With Zack nowhere in sight, and feeling exhausted from chasing him around, he decided to give up and head to his own room. On his way down the hall, he searched his pockets, looking for his room key but couldn't find it. It must have dropped out of his pocket while he was on the roof or running around. He stopped and began to turn back around to go look for it when he noticed the door to his room was slightly ajar. It was too late—or early—for housekeeping to be in there. _Maybe someone found my key and they came to rob me_, was his next thought. There wasn't really anything to steal.

He peeked through the small opening in the doorway before pushing the door open slowly, prepared for something to startle him. There was no one directly in sight that he could see but he could hear water running in the bathroom. He approached cautiously and reached for the door knob. Before he could take hold of it, the door opened inwards fast and revealed Zack on the other side. He still had no clothes on but had a towel wrapped around his waist. He let out a surprised sound, obviously not expecting him to be there before he began laughing to himself.

"Zack! How'd you get in here?" Cloud asked fast.

"In where?" Zack replied while swaying a little

"My room," Cloud fired back. Zack turned and picked something up off the counter to hold up. It was the key he'd lost. "You took my key card!" Cloud blurted in shock and shot his hand out to grab it away from Zack.

"You dropped it," Zack said with a laugh as he withdrew the keycard from Cloud's reach and held it over his head.

"Stop it!" Cloud demanded while continuing to snatch at the card. Zack evaded him a few moments longer before he caught hold of it. He turned away from Zack only to find him taking hold of him from behind. Zack stumbled in his drunken state and sent them both to the floor. Zack seemed to find it pretty hilarious as he lay on his back on the carpet. The officer reached up to try and get him in a headlock but missed.

"Your hair's spikey," Zack declared, looking up at him through half-open lids and lifting his arm limply to plant his hand on Cloud's head. It landed towards the front of his head, pushing his hair down in front of his eyes. "You're spikey," Zack repeated a little quieter. Cloud shook his hand away and moved his hair from his eyes. It looked as though the officer was drifting off into sleep.

Cloud sighed, watching Zack a moment before moving to rise. Before he could do so, Zack's hand grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him back. Zack was serious as he said, "Rufus wants to destroy the company." Unable to think of anything to say, Cloud just stared back at him. "I have to tell him," Zack added.

"Who?" Cloud asked, shaking his head.

"The president," Zack clarified. He was climbing to his feet suddenly, his towel coming off in the process. Naked once again he was headed for the door.

"Zack! Stop! You can't see the president right now!" Cloud pointed out as he tried to stop him. Zack seemed on a mission.

"I have to tell him," he persisted.

Cloud didn't know what to do. He couldn't let Zack just march up to President Shinra's room, stark naked and rambling drunkenly about his son trying to destroy the company. He could be in serious trouble. He could be de-ranked! Worse, kicked out of SOLDIER!

He did the only thing he could think of at that moment. He grabbed the heavy phone book off the nearby table and approached Zack fast. He said the officer's name and when he turned, Cloud let the phone book fly into the side of Zack's face, knocking him to the floor. He didn't know what the outcome would be but it seemed to be the one he was looking for. The officer appeared to have been knocked out, now lying still on the carpet. Cloud dropped the phonebook, immediately regretting what he'd just done. But what else was he supposed to do?

"Officer Fair?" he said a little tentatively, crouching down slowly. He lowered his ear over Zack's mouth hesitantly, wanting to make sure he was actually still breathing. What he got was the sound of the officer beginning to snore.

Cloud exhaled in relief. He watched Zack a moment, wondering what he should do with him. The officer was too heavy for him to try and move so he left him where he was and went for the comforter on the bed instead. He pulled it off the mattress and laid it over the officer before slipping a pillow under his head. He engaged both locks on the door to the hall thinking that if Zack woke again he may still be too drunk to figure out how to get both of them unlocked in order to go seeking the president.

When Cloud was lying in the bed finally and getting himself ready to drift off, he couldn't help but think about what Zack had said about Rufus Shinra. Surely it wasn't true. Why would Rufus want to destroy his father's company? Especially when he was no doubt going to inherit it from him. The company was probably the single most powerful company in the world. He chalked Zack's accusation up to being drunk and put it out of his head so he could finally get some sleep.

At 7:45 a.m. the alarm next to him woke him and he had to force himself up out of the bed to get ready for his four hour second shift. He knew there wasn't going to be too much going on, just guests having breakfast and checking out. He was looking forward to getting back to base where he could relax. The evening before had been a little more stressful than he'd anticipated.

When he sat up he could see Zack still lying on the floor sleeping soundly. He didn't want to wake him so he left him where he was with his clothes folded neatly next to him when he headed out to start his shift.

As expected, there was nothing to cause concern in those morning hours and by 12:30 p.m. he was waiting with the other armymen outside for the bus that would take them back to base. Just as the bus arrived, he heard his name being called behind him. He turned to see Zack coming toward him, not naked thankfully.

"How're you feeling?" Cloud asked when he was near.

"Uh, kinda like shit," Zack admitted. He looked it too. His hair was pretty disheveled and there were dark circles under his eyes.

"I'll bet," Cloud said with a smile. "You remember anything?"

Zack laughed a little before growing serious. "Yeah, I do," he said quietly. It took Cloud by surprise when Zack opened his arms and closed them around him, hugging him.

"Sorry, Spikey," Zack said softly near his ear. "Really, I'm sorry. I acted like an ass," he added.

Cloud smiled. "So that name's sticking?" he asked and Zack let him go.

"It fits right?" Zack replied with a grin. "Don't know why I didn't think of it before."

Cloud glanced at the bus where the last of the soldiers were getting on. "I gotta go," he said.

"See you soon, Spike," Zack spoke in return. Cloud gave him a slight nod before stepping up into the bus. Zack watched the bus pull away before heading off to meet his own ride that would take him back to headquarters.

The next morning, the soldiers finished their tour in Wutai finally arrived back in Midgar. There was a welcoming party in the city for them and things got pretty hectic at the base when they were all bussed in to collect whatever belongings they needed to go on leave. They were awarded a month's vacation so most were heading home to stay with their families. A few days later, the base seemed just as empty as it was before they'd arrived. Cloud wondered though, with all those soldiers coming home, if a new bunch would be sent out to replace them. He didn't think he'd escape deployment a second time, though he wasn't sure he was upset about it. The thought of doing a tour in Wutai didn't scare him as much as it used to. There was no immediate news, however, about deployment so he continued on with his routine, unaware of what was coming.

He was in one of the common rooms using a computer the one night barely a week into the new year when the computer went off unexpectedly, the screen blackening. He reached forward to push the power button on the monitor but it made little difference. He glanced down at the floor to see if he'd kicked the power cord from the wall socket or something. That wasn't it either. He looked from side to side and could see other soldiers in the room looking just as confused.

_Maybe a power outage_, he thought, though the lights were still on in the room. "It's a fucking lockdown," he thought he heard someone say across the room. He wasn't sure what that meant. He left the room and headed down the hall. When he passed by a set of phones he could see one guy was trying to make a call but it wasn't going through. Just then, an announcement came over the main speakers and directed all soldiers to formation. Eager to know what was happening, he headed outside to meet up with his division.

It was revealed by the sergeant that they were under a communication lockdown. The reason wasn't one Cloud had anticipated. It was announced to them that a small team of Shinra soldiers had been attacked just outside the safety of the Chumqi District in Wutai. They had been in Vendai territory delivering provisions to the citizens in the peace camps. The team failed to report back to base at their expected time. When a troop was sent out to investigate all they found was the burnt shell of their vehicle just inside the village. The soldiers, as far as they could tell were missing and the names of the soldiers weren't being released. The lockdown on communication meant that no one could make calls out to Wutai to inquire as to which soldiers may have been in the attacked group. It left Cloud with a very unsettled feeling the rest of the day.

Almost everyone seemed on edge that night. It was very quiet in the barracks as they were all waiting for an update. Word came in the middle of the night. Cloud was pulled from his sleep rather suddenly by someone shaking his arm. When he opened his eyes he could see that his sergeant was assembling everyone. He was confused as he started to get out of bed, checking his watch to see if he'd slept in or something. No, it was barely two in the morning. Rubbing his face a little he made his way over to join the rest of the group. They all looked as confused and tired as he was. Their sergeant, however, looked wide awake. Cloud realized when he looked at him that there was something wrong.

"Sorry to interrupt your beauty rest boys, but there's news from Wutai," Sula began. "And it ain't good." Most of the guys seemed suddenly more alert but no one said anything. "We have confirmation that the soldiers in the team that was attacked have been captured by the Vendai terrorist group," their sergeant announced quietly. With a sad expression he added, "Johnny Six is one of them."

There was a moment when no one said anything, when the guys just looked at one another, or shook their heads and looked away. Then, someone dared to speak.

"They're alive though," he said tentatively and some of the guys looked at him. "Right, sir?" he asked the sergeant. "I mean, no bodies were found with the vehicle, right? And there's been no word that—"

"We don't know," Sula interrupted. "There's really nothing more we know right now. All we can do is hope."

_Hope_. It seemed like such a passive form of response, at least to Cloud, though he found himself a little too stunned to do even that. Instead, once Sula had left the barrack, he lay down in his bunk and listened to the sounds of quiet conversations going on around him. He wasn't sure when it was that he fell asleep but when he woke up, the last night's news was starting to sink in. A group of soldiers captured in Wutai by terrorists, Johnny being one of them. No word on where they were or if they were even alive. He wasn't sure what he felt, or how he should feel. Most of the guys in the barrack seemed angry, upset or anxious. The only thing coming to him slower than the comprehension of what was happening was his emotional response.

A call came in for him just before breakfast and he knew before even picking up the receiver who it was on the other end of the line.

"Hello," he spoke plainly, though part of him was feeling grateful for the call. He suspected he knew what it was regarding.

"Hey, Spike," Zack's somewhat subdued voice spoke back.

"Hey," he said with a soft sigh.

"How you doin'?" Zack inquired.

All Cloud could really say was "Fine."

"Have you been told about what's been happening in Wutai?" Zack asked next.

"Yeah," Cloud said with a sigh. "They told us yesterday about the attack by the Vendai rebels and last night which soldiers were captured."

There was a second of silence before Zack said, "So you know Johnny was among them then."

"Yeah," Cloud confirmed.

"I'm really sorry, buddy, I know you guys are good friends."

"I dunno if we're that good of friends…" he said mostly to himself.

"I'm sure he's okay," Zack said despite his words.

"Yeah…if anyone would be," he agreed. "Officer Fair," he added after a moment. "What happens now?"

"It's hard to say," Zack replied sadly. "Shinra's trying to talk to the rebels, to get them to at least confirm the guys are still alive. They aren't saying much right now. We expect they'll make some demands at some point soon. Don't worry, alright?"

"Alright," Cloud agreed.

"I have to go, I wish I could talk longer or come to see you," Zack said sadly.

Cloud smiled tightly. "It's okay, thanks for calling."

"We'll talk again soon," Zack assured him before hanging up.

Cloud wanted so badly to be back in Midgar at that point. He could have used the distractions the city provided. Out on the base there was nothing really to keep his mind off wondering when an update would come in. The update didn't come until the next day. In the morning after everyone had come back from their run, one of the guys called over from where he was seated in front of the television.

"Hey! Look at this, come here!" he shouted, making everyone who wasn't gone to breakfast or showing stop what they were doing and gather around. He turned up the volume on the t.v. so everyone could hear the newscaster speak.

"A video was released today from the Vendai Rebel Syndicate. Two of the five Shinra military soldiers believed to have been captured two days earlier were shown in the video. The two are believed to be Private First Class Gary Alden, and Private First Class Johnny Six. The video was posted to the internet and has been circulating worldwide. A spokesperson of Shinra Media Control has said they are trying to have the video blocked from viewing by the public, but currently have been unable to do so."

After the initial relief that spread through the barrack over learning at least two of the captured soldiers, including Johnny, were actually alive, the anger set in.

"Well the video's sure as hell blocked here. You can't even get on the internet. Why the fuck are we not allowed to see it but civilians can?" one of the guys commented. Cloud shared his agitation as most of the others seemed to. It was unfair that they should be kept out of the loop whereas everyone else in the damn world was allowed to know what was going on. Cloud knew he was going to make it his missing to find a way to see that video. At some point he was going to be posted on duty in the city and he was the next day. As it so happened, there was a public library across the street from his posting.

For the first half hour he was at his post he found his eyes locked on that library. He wasn't really interested in a good read right now. It was the computers he was more interested in.

"Hey," Cider, the other soldier at their posting, spoke up and he looked at him. "I know what you're thinking," he said with the shake of his head. "Not a good idea." Cloud just looked away, adjusting the strap of his gun a little and watching a few of the people walking by before he found himself looking over at the library once more. "Forget it," Cider said sharply.

"You don't wanna see it?" Cloud asked without looking at him.

"'Course I wanna see it but we're on duty in case you didn't fucking notice," Cider answered fast.

Cloud let out a short sigh and looked back at the doors behind them before staring again across the street.

"Don't, Strife," Cider said firmly.

Cloud didn't give it any more thought before stepping out into the street, leaving his post.

"Strife!" Cider called out swiftly. "Stop!"

It was too late. Cloud had made his decision. He needed to see that video. He entered the library and immediately searched out and found the computers. He intended to be as quick as possible, accessing the internet and typing in a search for the video. It was easy enough to find. There was a set of headphones at the computer that he plugged in so he could listen and finally clicked 'play'.

The video opened on who were supposedly Alden and Johnny. They were seated in chairs next to each other with a table in front of them. Their bodies were only visible from the mid-torso and up. They were each blindfolded and gagged. One of the Vendai rebels stood behind them though he was only visible from the chest down. He held in his hands an assault rifle. For the first few moments, there were no words spoken in the video. The sounds consisted mostly of the loud buzzing of the overhead lights in the room and some shuffling sounds somewhere off camera.

While their captors had made an attempt to hide some of the injuries they'd no doubt inflicted on the boys' faces by wiping away traces of blood before turning the camera on, the bruising and small cuts were still visible. Further, they hadn't bothered to wipe away the dried remains of blood that had trailed down the sides of Johnny's neck from his face at some point. The rebels had made a minimal effort to make it look like they'd kept their prisoners unharmed.

Someone spoke then. One of the rebels to another. It was all in their language so Cloud wasn't sure what they were saying. Then came the broken English.

"This a message for Shinra and Wutai. The day is January nine. We not accept proposal for peace in with nations. We not support the Wutanese government's decision to surrender. We will not agree to Shinra foreign occupants in our territory. We protect the rights of the Wutanese people. Shinra, if you not leave our territory immediately we will begin execution of soldiers."

There was another brief moment of silence. Cloud watched closely as one of the rebels came on screen, only visible from his mid-torso down, and pulled the gag from Alden's mouth. Alden moistened his cracked lips before beginning to speak, obviously having been told what he was supposed to say when the gag was removed.

"My name is Private First Class Gary Alden," he spoke evenly. "I am speaking to let you know that I have been treated humanely and that my rights as a prisoner of war have been honored."

Alden finished speaking then. More movement could be heard off screen before one of the rebels approached Johnny. The man leaned down and revealed the rest of his upper body though his head was covered in a black ski mask so he remained fairly unidentifiable. He said something in a low tone to Johnny before removing his gag. Something that wasn't decipherable to anyone watching the video. As soon as the gag had left his mouth, Johnny turned fast and spit in the rebel's uncovered eyes. Great aim, considering Johnny was blindfolded. That action started a blur of frenzied movement on and off the camera but only a split second of it was shown before something came down over the camera lens. A hand perhaps. There was no doubt the video was still going because the sounds were still heard. Scuffling, chair legs scraping against the floor, something hitting the table. Over all that, the one who'd spoken before said one last thing.

"Shinra, you leave now."

That was the end of the footage. Cloud sat in shock a moment, allowing himself to register what he'd seen. He watched the video once more before leaving the library to go back to his post. Immediately, Cider was giving him a verbal assault for his brief abandonment but he didn't really hear much of it. All he could think of was what he'd seen and heard. The rebels claimed they would execute Johnny and Gary if the Shinra forces didn't leave their territory. The chances of Shinra complying were slim. Anyone could see that. Certainly not just to spare the lives of a few privates.

For a moment he felt lightheaded and had to crouch down to take a few deep breaths. Cider seemed to have stopped giving him shit.

"Did they look okay?" he asked uneasily then and Cloud nodded. "Thank God for that," Cider replied softly.

As Cloud had suspected, it didn't appear Shinra was interested in following the demands made by the rebels. The military was kept right where they were in Wutai and for nearly three weeks there was no update on the status or location of Johnny and Gary. No one had forgotten about them but no one really spoke of them either. Cloud had the feeling a lot of people assumed them to be dead. The thought never really crossed his mind. He believed them to be alive as strongly as he had the day it was announced they were captured. He didn't think he'd be able to accept the alternative. When the update on the guys finally came in, it wasn't in the way Cloud or anyone else had anticipated.

It was early morning and the barrack was just waking up when one of the guys came into the bathroom and announced he'd been sent an online video to his phone from a civilian friend. The title of the video read _Execution of Shinra Military Soldiers in Wutai_ and had been posted to the internet just a few hours earlier.

Everyone in the bathroom, including Cloud, crowded close together to watch the video. The footage was terrible in quality. Very grainy. It was already difficult enough to see on the small screen of the phone. It began with a shot of an empty space in a dimly lit room. There was no sound this time. The two soldiers, apparently Alden and Johnny, were pulled into the camera's view from somewhere off-screen. Both had their hands bound behind them and black pillow cases over their heads. Neither's name tag was visible past all the screen static. Cloud couldn't tell which one was Johnny. The boys were pushed to their knees. Two masked rebels stood behind them with rifles. Neither of the boys moved as the rebels cocked their weapons and took aim at the backs of their heads. The next two seconds seemed to last forever. Cloud was so tense he was unaware that he was digging his fingernails into the palms of his hands. As the shots were finally fired he swore he could hear them despite the video's absence of sound. Both boys collapsed together, the bullets having been fired into their skulls. Their bodies lay still on the floor as the gunmen made a quick check of vitals. Then, the footage cut out.

That was it. Cloud couldn't believe it. He literally couldn't believe it. No way had Johnny been one of the soldiers shot on the video. He doubted Alden was even one of them. It just seemed off. Cloud hadn't known Johnny that long but he was sure he'd never just kneel there and allow himself to be shot without any sort of resistance at all. And further, the video didn't even seem as legitimate as the previous one released. It may have been completely bogus. Or a scare tactic. Yes. Johnny and Gary were still alive. There was no real reason in his mind he should see it any other way. He wasn't alone in his thinking as several of the others declared the video had to be bullshit.

They were interrupted by one of the guys calling into them that there was a news report on the television about the supposed execution. There was an eerie silence in the barrack as everyone stood or sat in front of the television to hear the report.

"People across the eastern continent are shocked today as just hours ago a video was released online showing the believed live execution of two Shinra military soldiers captured in Wutai just under three weeks ago. Shinra is saddened and angered at the video's release, especially since it was released to the general public. Many people all across the continent had viewed the video even before they had. The video is a mere thirty-two seconds of grainy footage showing who are presumed to be Private First Classes Gary Alden and Johnny Six being executed simultaneously by two masked Vendai rebels. Investigators have not as of yet confirmed the two to be the soldiers seen in the video. It was almost three weeks ago that a previous video was released featuring the two soldiers. Investigators stated then that the privates appeared to be in good condition."

That was all that was said about it before the anchorwoman began delving into local news. The guys erupted then with anger and upset. Despite the news, it seemed though that no one was ready to believe Johnny and Gary had been executed. It was only a few minutes before their staff sergeant entered the barrack and quieted them.

"That video's bullshit, sarge," one of the guys called out firmly. "Isn't it?"

"Shinra's looking into it," Sula replied with a sharp sigh.

"It's crap!" the same private argued. "Didn't even look legit," he added, voicing Cloud's thoughts.

"We'll leave that to the experts to decide," Sula shot back at him. "Look, there's no point in jumping to conclusions until the footage has been analyzed. For now, you all need to just stick to your duties and we'll take this shit as it comes. Got it?"

The guys seemed pacified by Sula's words for the time being. It didn't erase the worry from some of their faces, but Cloud wasn't worried at all. He was confident the video would be deemed false.

It wasn't.

"The video was confirmed as being released from the rebel group. It appears authentic, despite the poor quality."

Sula's words sank into the barrack slowly. Everyone was silent for what seemed like forever.

"But, Sarge, what if—" someone started to say. Cloud wasn't sure who, he was in shock as much as the others.

"No," the sergeant cut him off fast. Cloud looked at Sula. His expression was hard and his tone was harsh. But his eyes held his real emotions and displayed the frustration and sadness that was expected. "There's no what ifs," he continued. "A horrible fucking thing has happened , I know. You gotta come to grips with it. It's not the first time something like this has happened and it won't be the last time. All you can do is accept it and do what you gotta do to deal."

_Accept it_, Cloud repeated in his head. He really didn't think he could do that.


	28. Chapter 26

_Hey, guys. This is a short chapter. Really short actually but I figured I'd post it because I was waiting to get it out of the way before continuing with 'Reclamation' and I am going into the world of no internet again so I don't know when I'll be updating again. I put an updated note at the beginning of the last chapter but if you didn't catch it all it said was that no, Johnny Six is not the Johnny from the original game. I have not played the game so I wasn't aware there was a character named Johnny. If I had known I would have given my OC another name. _

_Special thanks to the few who reviewed the last chapter. _

Chapter XXVI

Only one of the captured soldiers came back from Wutai, which was actually a shock to everyone at the base. Most people assumed all of the soldiers in the attacked team to have been killed at some point, either during the initial firefight or sometime during capture. The soldier was a specialist named Roger Lampos. Apparently he'd stumbled out of the frosted forest in Wutai and back onto the forward operating base about a week after the video of the supposed execution of Johnny and Gary aired for the first time. He was treated in the infirmary for two days before being shipped back to Midgar where he was snatched up immediately by investigators. It was days before anyone saw or heard from him. Rumors began to circulate after that, about where he was sent and what he'd told investigators.

The most widely circulated rumor seemed to be that sergeants Joey Gill and Arlos Preena were executed the first night after they'd been captured. They, as well as Roger, Johnny and Gary had all been tortured during their captivity, Joey, Arlos, and Roger for information, Johnny and Gary just because. There were only young privates so the rebels didn't really expect them to know anything. Apparently they were used solely as sympathy cards. If that was the ploy, it hadn't seemed to be successful. Cloud found out a few days after the execution video aired that there had been a public outcry in Midgar and Junon for Shinra to save them but of course that's not what happened.

The day after Roger was returned to Midgar, Shinra announced officially that all the soldiers from that attacked and captured team were dead. That really brought a black cloud over the base. Two days after the announcement, there was a memorial service for all the now deceased members of the attacked team. It seemed strange, to Cloud at least, to have a service without any form of remains. He was no expert but he'd been to a few funerals before. Not for anyone he knew very well. They were for people back in Nibelheim. The town being as small as it was, whenever there was a death, the entire population usually attended. At those few funerals, there'd always been a body, lain in a casket with flowers all around. At the service for the team there were no bodies lying peacefully amongst bouquets of flowers, just a set of pictures, larger versions of each soldier's army identification photo. They were placed at the front of the one assembly hall for the duration of the service. The families and friends of the soldiers were invited to attend but Cloud was fairly certain no one had come for Johnny.

Cloud hadn't wanted to go, but he didn't want to look like an asshole for not going either. Several people said 'sorry' to him, which surprised him. He really didn't think he and Johnny had spent that much time around each other that people would feel the need to give condolences. It didn't really mean much to him anyway. Halfway through the service he wanted to get up out of his chair and yell at everyone for accepting the deaths of the soldiers without proof. They were giving up in his mind. In the case of Johnny and Gary, it didn't matter that the execution video was deemed legitimate. For not one second were either Johnny or Gary's faces shown in that video. Shinra just wanted the whole thing buried and forgotten about.

After the service, Cloud returned to his barrack instead of going to the mess hall where there was an after-service meal. He was sitting on his bunk alone in the room when someone approached him quietly.

"You okay, kid," a soft voice asked. It was Druno, his bunkmate.

Cloud looked up at him briefly before looking down again. "Fine," he said emotionlessly.

"Sorry about your friend," Druno said next. "He seemed like a good guy," he added.

"He is," Cloud corrected, still without looking at him.

"Right," Druno agreed uneasily before leaving Cloud alone once more.

Cloud received a call later that night from Zack. He hadn't really felt like taking the call, but he did anyway.

"You know there're councilors on the base who are there to talk to about this kind of thing, right?" Zack had asked him towards the beginning of the conversation.

"Yeah, but I'm fine. I don't need to talk to one," was Cloud's reply.

"I used to think the same thing, but—" Zack started to say.

"It's not the same thing," Cloud interrupted. He knew Zack was about to make reference to losing his mentor, Angeal. "That execution video wasn't real," he stated firmly. "I mean, maybe the video was real but it wasn't Johnny. Or maybe it was staged. I dunno. I just know there's no way it could have been him."

There was a short silence on the other end of the line before Zack replied uneasily. "Cloud, what happened was sudden, I know, but—"

Cloud stopped him again. "I really have to go now," he said abruptly with a bit of a sigh. "Thanks for calling though," he added.

"Alright, I just wanted to make sure you're okay," Zack answered reluctantly.

"I am," Cloud replied in a softer tone.

"I'm always here if you want to talk," Zack pointed out.

"Thanks," Cloud said with a light smile, knowing full well that Zack wasn't _always _available to talk. Not during missions anyhow.

"Take care," Zack said.

"You too," Cloud spoke back before hanging up.

For the next few days, Cloud busied himself with whatever he could. Work, target practice, fitness training. He didn't show up for sword practice with Druno like he normally would have. He wasn't really sure why. Chances are his bunkmate wouldn't say anything more about the events of the past days. When he thought about it, he felt like it was him against everyone else. He didn't believe what they believed so he wanted to stick to himself for a little while. He assumed it was something Roger Lampos had said that had made Shinra believe Johnny and the others were dead, but he was holding out hope that he would recant what he'd said and give the truth. But then, Roger may have just been as easily swayed as everyone else seemed to be.

He was still waiting the following week when Zack came to visit him late the one day, just a few hours before lights out. He was working out alone in one of the weight rooms when the officer came in. He glanced Zack's way but didn't give him a smile like he normally would, or give any indication at all he was happy to see him, though part of him was. He was still just feeling a little antisocial.

"Hey, Spike," Zack greeted when he was near.

"Hi," Cloud returned neutrally. He didn't stop working out right away. Not until Zack asked him to stop and sit with him for a minute.

"What's up?" he asked when they sat down on one of the benches.

"How you doing?" Zack asked and he just shrugged.

"Fine," he said with a nervous smile. He kept his head down a little, not looking at Zack.

"Don't suppose you've been to see a councilor since the last time we talked," Zack said a little uneasily.

"No," Cloud admitted.

"I know you probably don't want to hear this, but it helps with the whole moving on thing," the officer pointed out. He would know after all.

"I don't think moving on's really an issue for me," he countered. "I mean, what's to move on from? I have a different view on things."

Zack knew Cloud still wasn't accepting of the fact Johnny was gone.

"Cloud, one of the other captured soldiers was released and made it back to Shinra," Zack started to explain.

"Yeah," Cloud replied fast. "Heard about that. It's good, right. I mean, everyone probably thought he was dead too."

Zack looked back at him sadly. He admired the strength Cloud had, but it came from denial, which could only hold up for so long

"There's been rumors," he told Zack. "About what Roger told investigators," he clarified. "Is it true they were all tortured?" he asked and Zack responded first with a deep exhale.

"Probably," Zack sort of confirmed. "Roger did have injuries that are indicative of that. We wouldn't know for sure about the others unless we saw them but if the things Roger said are true, he saw and heard a lot of things during capture…" He sighed then before saying, "Cloud, he brought back something with him."

Cloud watched him retrieve something from his pocket. It was something familiar. Everyone he knew these days had them.

"Dog tags?" he said as he stared down at the tags on a chain in Zack's hand. Zack held them out to him. It took him a moment to reach for them. He hadn't even looked at the name on them and he felt suddenly like he was fighting back rising tears. Also attached to the chain was a tiny loop earring, the very same he'd seen Officer Sigg, at the Academy, personally remove from the ear it was in, its wearer refusing to give it up any other way. When he finally did look hard at the tags, he saw the name he knew he would.

"Johnny's family didn't want them so I thought maybe…you'd want to keep them," Zack spoke softly.

Cloud shook his head firmly, suppressing as much of his building emotions as possible. "No, they're Johnny's," he said while practically pushing the tags back into Zack's hand. Zack took them back slowly and watched Cloud as he stood up and began to retreat backwards a few steps. "They should be kept in administration right?" he said, his voice beginning to quiver. "For when he comes back?" he added. Zack rose to a stand and followed after him slowly. "Right?" Cloud said, his tone more questioning now. "For when he comes back?" he repeated. His eyes were brimming with tears but still he tried to hold back their release. He was just out of Zack's reach, avoiding him by a few steps. "'Cause he'll need them when he gets back, right? Zack?" Cloud said, his voice pleading then.

"He doesn't need them now, Spike," Zack answered him softly. Cloud's back touched a piece of the weight equipment, stopping him.

"Yes, he does," Cloud argued, not looking at him, avoiding his eyes.

"He doesn't, Spike," Zack replied just as softly as before. Softly but firmly and Cloud responded by raising his hands and shoving him back in anger.

"Yes, he does!" he said again. He lowered his eyes to the floor and took some quick breaths as he tried to push his emotions back down. He motioned to move away from the weight equipment, probably to try and leave but Zack blocked his way and closed the distance between them again, which had Cloud planting his back at the weight equipment once more. Zack tried to meet his eyes but he kept them down.

"Look at me, Spikey," Zack instructed but Cloud just shook his head. "He doesn't need them anymore," Zack assured him, trying to make it sink in.

"He does," Cloud closed his eyes and whispered, still shaking his head.

Zack placed his hands on either side of Cloud's head, holding it and urging him to tilt it upwards slightly as he resisted. "Cloud, please," he uttered in a hushed tone and Cloud finally looked at him. "It's over," he told Cloud calmly while nodding. "It's over now." He watched as acceptance began to wash over his young friend, the denial in his sky blue eyes dispersing to be replaced with grief. Cloud finally let his tears go and started to cry. Zack lowered his hands from Cloud's head and put his arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug as he began sobbing. He held onto him even as he started to sink to the floor on his knees.

"Why?" Cloud cried after a minute or so of bawling, his chin on Zack's shoulder. "It's not fair," he got out between sobs. "It's not fair." He kept repeating that one line as Zack rocked him a little.

"I know, buddy," he soothed. And he really did know. So much had happened that past two years that wasn't fair.

It took a while before Cloud calmed once again. When he'd stopped crying he looked completely worn out. Zack didn't want to just leave him in the training facility so he took him back to his barrack. Cloud allowed Zack to escort him all the way to his bunk, not caring that he probably looked like some pathetic child. He lay down as soon as he reached his bed, not even bothering to get under the covers. He didn't say goodbye to Zack. He didn't say anything. Just closed his eyes and waited for the lights to go out.

"See you soon, buddy," he heard Zack say before leaving. He was asleep before lights out. When he woke again, he lay for a moment and listed to the sounds of the guys in the barrack getting ready for morning routine. He slid his one arm under his pillow to take hold of it and adjust it under his head but paused when he felt something. His hand closed around something metal and he pulled it from under the pillow.

Johnny's dog tags. Zack must have slipped them under the pillow before leaving. He exhaled heavily and closed the tags in his one fist. The night before he'd felt utterly miserable. Today though, he couldn't deny he felt a little down, but mostly he was angry.

He had been waiting since one large group of soldiers had come back from their tour in January for news of when another would be sent out. He suspected his name was going to make the list so it was no shock to him when he was informed he'd be going to Wutai in March. He felt no fear when he found out. Rather, he was anxious. His specialized training began almost immediately and Zack was quick to try and get ahold of him to discuss the upcoming deployment. He could tell the officer was surprised at his lack of emotion toward the situation. He told Zack not to worry. That he was ready. It was his time to go. Still, it didn't sit well with Zack.

"He said it was his time to go," Zack repeated what Cloud had said days later when he was visiting Aerith.

Aerith watched him a moment before responding. "You're worried about him," she stated softly.

"Yeah, I am," Zack agreed without hesitation. "He's going to be sent out to war unless I think of something," he added.

"What could you do?" Aerith asked and he shrugged.

"I dunno. I already used the one favour I had with the recruiting office," he explained sadly while he looked at his hands. He suddenly thought about how he'd chosen to save Cloud from deployment over Johnny. If it had been the other way around, Johnny may still be alive. But then, Cloud might have been the one who was captured and executed.

A moment passed and Aerith smiled gently. "He could be alright, you know," she pointed out.

Zack looked at her skeptically. "In Wutai?" he said back and she nodded.

"Mn."

"Maybe," he agreed. "But if he goes he may do something reckless."

"Like what?" she inquired.

"Like try and go after the rebels who killed Johnny," he suggested, though that was only one thing to worry about. "Even if he doesn't, the fact he's angry and wants to take that anger out will make him act irrationally in certain scenarios."

"What are you going to do then?" she asked.

All he could say was "I dunno" because he really had no idea. There had to be a way though, to keep him from going to that warzone.


End file.
